Jessica Simpson goes red

May 8th, 2006 // 198 Comments
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Jessica Simpson: 'Fashion Star is great shopping show for the ladies'
Jessica Simpson has joked that the upcoming Fashion Star is a "great shopping show for the ladies". The singer, actress and designer will mentor alongside Nicole Richie and John Varvatos in the Elle Macpherson-produced competition, which sees 14 designers ...
Pregnant Jessica Simpson Wears Massive High Heels, Shows Off Giant Bump
Taking a page from Beyonce's maternity style playbook, Jessica Simpson stepped out in a pair of super-high clunky wedge heels in Santa Barabra, Calif. Saturday. Accompanied by fiance Eric Johnson and his family, the 31-year-old Fashion Star mentor wore a ...

Comments (198)

  1. BarbadoSlim | May 8, 2006 at 2:56 pm

    Wow her hair looks stupider now.

    Reply
  2. Fisher55 | May 8, 2006 at 2:57 pm

    she looks like an inedible piece of fruit

    Reply
  3. suzy | May 8, 2006 at 2:58 pm

    i like her hair.. i don’t know about that tan..

    that dress does nothing for her boobs lol

    Reply
  4. waterranger | May 8, 2006 at 2:58 pm

    Her hair matches her tan! cool!

    Reply
  5. azcoyote | May 8, 2006 at 3:00 pm

    And picture one proves definitively that those are implants…

    Reply
  6. always answer b | May 8, 2006 at 3:00 pm

    SHOOT THE STYLIST

    Reply
  7. dirt chicken | May 8, 2006 at 3:01 pm

    I never thought i’d say this, but… her cans look gross.

    Reply
  8. azcoyote | May 8, 2006 at 3:01 pm

    Picture one and two should also read…. “Breasts that look like head of orange penis….”

    Reply
  9. pinky_nip | May 8, 2006 at 3:01 pm

    Carrot top meets high glamour.

    Reply
  10. Italian Stallion | May 8, 2006 at 3:01 pm

    Carrot Top has some funny looking tit’s, man what a great prop comic this guy is……

    Reply
  11. Jacq | May 8, 2006 at 3:02 pm

    Her hair guy IS on drugs. HELLO Carrot Top! Her face should NOT be the came color as her hair.

    Reply
  12. pinky_nip | May 8, 2006 at 3:02 pm

    It looks like she just crawled out of a cheetos bag.

    Reply
  13. Jacq | May 8, 2006 at 3:02 pm

    WHAT IN THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH HER TIT?!?! Yes, I yelled that here at the office, too.

    Reply
  14. pinky_nip | May 8, 2006 at 3:03 pm

    #9, #10, #11… great minds think alike!

    Reply
  15. Italian Stallion | May 8, 2006 at 3:03 pm

    SOM pinky-nip, great minds think alike…..

    Reply
  16. Fisher55 | May 8, 2006 at 3:03 pm

    My God, what are they doing to her?! She’s a fucking trainwreck! She looked better impersonating Vince Neil

    Reply
  17. Jacq | May 8, 2006 at 3:04 pm

    I like the pleated section for her FUPA.
    Orange ring? Check
    Orange dress? Check
    Orange hair? Check
    Orange skin? Check
    Dammit, MeganHarris, fire Ken Paves!

    Reply
  18. Italian Stallion | May 8, 2006 at 3:04 pm

    Holy shit I keep posting before seeing yours and now this is just crazy……

    how about this, THATS ONE GEORGIA PEECH I WOULDN”T MIND EATING>>>>>>>>>>

    Reply
  19. BarbadoSlim | May 8, 2006 at 3:05 pm

    Is her haircut supposed to look as if the wind is blowing her hair while she’s riding a motorcycle?

    If it is, then we got a winner.

    Reply
  20. frangly | May 8, 2006 at 3:05 pm

    Her boob looks like it’s sausage oozing out of the end of the grinder machine…about to plop off onto the floor…

    Reply
  21. BigJim | May 8, 2006 at 3:05 pm

    Yes, her tit looks like a giant penis, which is why you can catch Tom Cruise jerking off to these photos.

    Reply
  22. Fisher55 | May 8, 2006 at 3:05 pm

    Somewhere Nick Lachey is laughing his ass off

    Reply
  23. Jacq | May 8, 2006 at 3:05 pm

    Maybe we’ll get lucky and Carrot Top will stuff her in a trunk with his props. There’s no way he’s going on tour any time soon, with all the weightlifting and all.

    Reply
  24. Color me stoked | May 8, 2006 at 3:06 pm

    ugh dont these people have sylists to tell them ‘hey your fugly dress doesnt support your boobs and your orange hair, dress, and skin clash really badly and look halloweeny with your shoes.’

    aparently her sylist hates her

    Reply
  25. Italian Stallion | May 8, 2006 at 3:06 pm

    *Peach

    Reply
  26. jenny4a20 | May 8, 2006 at 3:06 pm

    YIKES!!!! Now why would she go and do that? Does she not have any friends? I think if anything it proves they are NOT implants, look how saggy!!!

    Reply
  27. pinky_nip | May 8, 2006 at 3:07 pm

    Stallion: are you my long lost brother?!

    She better be careful, Britney might eat her.

    Reply
  28. Jacq | May 8, 2006 at 3:07 pm

    That has GOT to be Joe’s hand in the last pic. I bet she’s got nipples long enough to drag her around by.

    Reply
  29. Fisher55 | May 8, 2006 at 3:07 pm

    Her tit looks like Bill Maher’s nose

    Reply
  30. hurley | May 8, 2006 at 3:08 pm

    “plerp”

    that’s what her breast said.

    Reply
  31. BigJim | May 8, 2006 at 3:08 pm

    I guess I’d hit it… with a carrot peeler? How about a juicer?

    Reply
  32. pinky_nip | May 8, 2006 at 3:10 pm

    Somewhere Bugs Bunny is jacking off.

    Reply
  33. redsonja1313 | May 8, 2006 at 3:11 pm

    As a legal owner of a pair real boobs….THEY SAG after you loose weight and yo-yo weight gain and loss is the worst on them. Sad since she is so young, time for a boob lift honey. You might want to see if you can get a group rate and take Gwenth with you, owner of the worlds smallest sagging boobs !!!

    Reply
  34. Jacq | May 8, 2006 at 3:11 pm

    That cutesy peeking over her shoulder thing pisses me off. You’re twenty-fucking-(something)years old for God’s sake! I bet the way that head swivels around is a result of selling her soul. Happened to Linda Blair, too.
    This is scarier and uglier than a car accident, but I can’t look away. Her boobs should fight LiLo’s boobs.

    Reply
  35. YAYShannysHERE | May 8, 2006 at 3:12 pm

    yuck, the boobs look b a a a d

    Reply
  36. Fisher55 | May 8, 2006 at 3:12 pm

    Maybe she’s playing Frenchie in a remake of “Grease”

    Reply
  37. Italian Stallion | May 8, 2006 at 3:12 pm

    Somewhere Bugs Bunny is wrestling his bald headed champion……..

    Just kidding I saw yours(pinky-nip) this time, but yours was funny as shit…….

    Reply
  38. Jacq | May 8, 2006 at 3:13 pm

    #29 – Extremely creative. Extremely accurate. Do you also think that Bill looks like he could be Hugh Hefner’s bastard son?

    #32 – Did you ever think Bugs Bunny was sexy when he dressed up and played girl bunny?

    Reply
  39. Lynette Carrington | May 8, 2006 at 3:13 pm

    You can dress her up, change her bust size or tweak her hair color…….she looks like a giant orange lampshade…….with an IQ to match.

    Reply
  40. BarbadoSlim | May 8, 2006 at 3:14 pm

    I wonder if the curtains match the drapes…

    Reply
  41. spatz | May 8, 2006 at 3:16 pm

    oooofa

    Reply
  42. saltpeanuts | May 8, 2006 at 3:16 pm

    I bet those strange puppies are filled with yummy nutritious carrot juice.

    Nick deflowered her and now she’s all wilted. In between bouts of crying, he probably is laughing and is glad that he can now boink some strippers and hookers and not have to worry about them waking up next to him.

    PS: she still has the whitest teeth I’ve ever come across.

    Reply
  43. Fisher55 | May 8, 2006 at 3:17 pm

    40: i think what u meant was “i wonder if the rug matches the curtains”

    Reply
  44. pinky_nip | May 8, 2006 at 3:18 pm

    #38: My favorite B. Bunny cross-dressing episode is Hillbilly Hare. When he’s the slutty square dance babe.

    BTW, put a stick up her ass and you’ve got the world’s largest cream-filled dreamsicle. And by cream-filled, I mean her brain.

    Reply
  45. Fisher55 | May 8, 2006 at 3:18 pm

    38: wow, never thought about it, but they do have the same smarmy smirk…(which i secretly think is kinda sexy)

    Reply
  46. pinky_nip | May 8, 2006 at 3:19 pm

    Oompa Loompa, boobadee doop.. I’ve got a secret message for you…

    Reply
  47. Geno | May 8, 2006 at 3:19 pm

    Changing your hair will make everything better. Really. It will. Bwahahahahaha!
    What a train wreck.
    http://catholictvguy.blogspot.com/

    Reply
  48. Fisher55 | May 8, 2006 at 3:20 pm

    hey Jessica, orange you upset that you look like crapola?

    Reply
  49. 86 | May 8, 2006 at 3:20 pm

    She looks like the old pictures my grandmother has hanging on her walls.

    Reply
  50. ranesing | May 8, 2006 at 3:22 pm

    ………we say “does the carpet match the draperies.” Same thing.

    Anyway, that dress needs a breast lift.

    Reply

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