Jessica Simpson goes red

May 8th, 2006 // 198 Comments
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  1. BarbadoSlim

    Wow her hair looks stupider now.

  2. Fisher55

    she looks like an inedible piece of fruit

  3. suzy

    i like her hair.. i don’t know about that tan..

    that dress does nothing for her boobs lol

  4. waterranger

    Her hair matches her tan! cool!

  5. azcoyote

    And picture one proves definitively that those are implants…

  6. always answer b

    SHOOT THE STYLIST

  7. dirt chicken

    I never thought i’d say this, but… her cans look gross.

  8. azcoyote

    Picture one and two should also read…. “Breasts that look like head of orange penis….”

  9. pinky_nip

    Carrot top meets high glamour.

  10. Italian Stallion

    Carrot Top has some funny looking tit’s, man what a great prop comic this guy is……

  11. Jacq

    Her hair guy IS on drugs. HELLO Carrot Top! Her face should NOT be the came color as her hair.

  12. pinky_nip

    It looks like she just crawled out of a cheetos bag.

  13. Jacq

    WHAT IN THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH HER TIT?!?! Yes, I yelled that here at the office, too.

  14. pinky_nip

    #9, #10, #11… great minds think alike!

  15. Italian Stallion

    SOM pinky-nip, great minds think alike…..

  16. Fisher55

    My God, what are they doing to her?! She’s a fucking trainwreck! She looked better impersonating Vince Neil

  17. Jacq

    I like the pleated section for her FUPA.
    Orange ring? Check
    Orange dress? Check
    Orange hair? Check
    Orange skin? Check
    Dammit, MeganHarris, fire Ken Paves!

  18. Italian Stallion

    Holy shit I keep posting before seeing yours and now this is just crazy……

    how about this, THATS ONE GEORGIA PEECH I WOULDN”T MIND EATING>>>>>>>>>>

  19. BarbadoSlim

    Is her haircut supposed to look as if the wind is blowing her hair while she’s riding a motorcycle?

    If it is, then we got a winner.

  20. frangly

    Her boob looks like it’s sausage oozing out of the end of the grinder machine…about to plop off onto the floor…

  21. BigJim

    Yes, her tit looks like a giant penis, which is why you can catch Tom Cruise jerking off to these photos.

  22. Fisher55

    Somewhere Nick Lachey is laughing his ass off

  23. Jacq

    Maybe we’ll get lucky and Carrot Top will stuff her in a trunk with his props. There’s no way he’s going on tour any time soon, with all the weightlifting and all.

  24. Color me stoked

    ugh dont these people have sylists to tell them ‘hey your fugly dress doesnt support your boobs and your orange hair, dress, and skin clash really badly and look halloweeny with your shoes.’

    aparently her sylist hates her

  25. Italian Stallion

    *Peach

  26. jenny4a20

    YIKES!!!! Now why would she go and do that? Does she not have any friends? I think if anything it proves they are NOT implants, look how saggy!!!

  27. pinky_nip

    Stallion: are you my long lost brother?!

    She better be careful, Britney might eat her.

  28. Jacq

    That has GOT to be Joe’s hand in the last pic. I bet she’s got nipples long enough to drag her around by.

  29. Fisher55

    Her tit looks like Bill Maher’s nose

  30. hurley

    “plerp”

    that’s what her breast said.

  31. BigJim

    I guess I’d hit it… with a carrot peeler? How about a juicer?

  32. pinky_nip

    Somewhere Bugs Bunny is jacking off.

  33. redsonja1313

    As a legal owner of a pair real boobs….THEY SAG after you loose weight and yo-yo weight gain and loss is the worst on them. Sad since she is so young, time for a boob lift honey. You might want to see if you can get a group rate and take Gwenth with you, owner of the worlds smallest sagging boobs !!!

  34. Jacq

    That cutesy peeking over her shoulder thing pisses me off. You’re twenty-fucking-(something)years old for God’s sake! I bet the way that head swivels around is a result of selling her soul. Happened to Linda Blair, too.
    This is scarier and uglier than a car accident, but I can’t look away. Her boobs should fight LiLo’s boobs.

  35. YAYShannysHERE

    yuck, the boobs look b a a a d

  36. Fisher55

    Maybe she’s playing Frenchie in a remake of “Grease”

  37. Italian Stallion

    Somewhere Bugs Bunny is wrestling his bald headed champion……..

    Just kidding I saw yours(pinky-nip) this time, but yours was funny as shit…….

  38. Jacq

    #29 – Extremely creative. Extremely accurate. Do you also think that Bill looks like he could be Hugh Hefner’s bastard son?

    #32 – Did you ever think Bugs Bunny was sexy when he dressed up and played girl bunny?

  39. Lynette Carrington

    You can dress her up, change her bust size or tweak her hair color…….she looks like a giant orange lampshade…….with an IQ to match.

  40. BarbadoSlim

    I wonder if the curtains match the drapes…

  41. spatz

    oooofa

  42. saltpeanuts

    I bet those strange puppies are filled with yummy nutritious carrot juice.

    Nick deflowered her and now she’s all wilted. In between bouts of crying, he probably is laughing and is glad that he can now boink some strippers and hookers and not have to worry about them waking up next to him.

    PS: she still has the whitest teeth I’ve ever come across.

  43. Fisher55

    40: i think what u meant was “i wonder if the rug matches the curtains”

  44. pinky_nip

    #38: My favorite B. Bunny cross-dressing episode is Hillbilly Hare. When he’s the slutty square dance babe.

    BTW, put a stick up her ass and you’ve got the world’s largest cream-filled dreamsicle. And by cream-filled, I mean her brain.

  45. Fisher55

    38: wow, never thought about it, but they do have the same smarmy smirk…(which i secretly think is kinda sexy)

  46. pinky_nip

    Oompa Loompa, boobadee doop.. I’ve got a secret message for you…

  47. Geno

    Changing your hair will make everything better. Really. It will. Bwahahahahaha!
    What a train wreck.
    http://catholictvguy.blogspot.com/

  48. Fisher55

    hey Jessica, orange you upset that you look like crapola?

  49. 86

    She looks like the old pictures my grandmother has hanging on her walls.

  50. ranesing

    ………we say “does the carpet match the draperies.” Same thing.

    Anyway, that dress needs a breast lift.

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