Jessica Simpson should probably stop performing in public

The Superficial / August 29, 2008

Jessica Simpson gave another shitass performance in her continuing effort to crossover to country which must be frustrating. I mean, she’s proven she’s illiterate and joined the Klan. What more do these people want?! Anyway, here’s the highlights of her Wednesday night concert at the Avalon Ballroom where Jessica gave long-winded intros to every song forcing The Niagara Falls Review to comment “It might be unfair calling Jessica Simpson’s show at the Avalon Ballroom Wednesday a train wreck. At some point, a train knows where it’s going.”:

On how her man must be ready for anything that comes out of her uterus:
Before the new song “Man Enough,” she said her man must be ready for anything – including the possibility she’s pregnant with an alien.

On Nick Lachey:
Ex-hubby Nick Lachey gets grilled in the bitter “When I Loved You Like That,” where our girl basically says she carried his cheatin’ ass all those years.

On the smell of her farts; I’m not kidding:
“I do pass gas a lot,” she said. “I guarantee it smells like roses.”

A public admission that your ass doesn’t stink despite chronic flatulence. Now that’s classy. I bet you an old man in a top hat put a monocle up to his eye and said “Jolly good show!” That’s how classy it was. Bravo!

Photos: Splash News