Jessica Simpson getting fat

March 2nd, 2006 // 118 Comments

jessica-simpson-fat.jpgNW reports that Jessica Simpson is so distressed over Nick Lachey dating so many women and fighting for her money that she’s turned to food for comfort, putting on over 15kg (33lbs) since announcing her split in November.

Spotted on a recent shopping trip in Santa Fe, New Mexico, stunned onlookers could hardly believe their eyes as the singer-turned-actress perused the confectionary aisle. An eyewitness commented that Jess was visibly heavier in the arms and waistline. Self-conscious about her bulging belly, the singer attempted to hide her growing girth with an oversized handbag and baggy black T-shirt. But there was no hiding her double chin and sallow complexion as the gloomy star selected a chocolate bar from the display rack.

Aware of her blossoming figure, Jess was later seen at the local Big 5 Sporting Goods store, where she was checking out exercise equipment. In a bid to get in shape for her upcoming film Employee Of The Month, the curvy cutie spent about $1300 on a pair of treadmills and other fitness equipment.

I don’t know how true this is, but Jessica needs to get her act together and drop down to her usual gorgeous self. When a hot woman can’t tell the difference between chicken and tuna it’s kind of cute, but when an ugly fat woman does it, it’s just annoying. And when an ugly fat woman gets annoying, the chances of their face meeting my fist increases by 300%.

Thanks to Ang for the tip.



  1. evelyn

    first comment.

  2. HollyJ

    Oh shit.. Now people are going to start freaking out that he threatened to punch an ugly fat chick. =0

  3. PostAcidYouth

    aren’t these the same magazines that whinge about celebs being too skinny?

  4. gogoboots

    This is probably the dumbest thing yet I’ve seen on here, and I’ll tell you why:
    Jessica Simpson will NEVER be “fat” as you say. You know why, she has money, fame and and… excellent access to personal trainers. She will never go through anything very stressful, this divorce is probably the most stressful thing she’s EVER been through in her entire life. In fact, this doesn’t seem to be too hard for her to get over, I’ve seen plenty of pictures where she looked perfectly slender and happy (i.e. vacant look in her eyes probably means this emoion). Most people go through weight gain when they’re depressed or stressed out about something. Jessica will probably not ever be “fat”, she’ll gain 33 lbs (if this is true) and lose it in a month. She’s not 45, she’s 25, remember? Of course mentally she’s 5 years old (judging from her online journal)…so maybe she’ll end up being a tub of lard eventually. However, this is highly unlikely.

  5. Mrinali2Michika

    Regardless if people think she is fat or not…I do think annoying fat chicks are one of the worst

  6. gogoboots

    She’s probably not even fat, she’s a size 6 now, is that fat? Like Britney huh?

  7. #2 you took the words right out of my mouth.

    #4 Jessica will never be fat because she follows the Hollywood Diet. The Hollywood Diet consists of narcissism, egotism and vanity…oh yeah, and plastic surgeons.

  8. I love K-fed's Corn Rolls

    Nice source… News Weekly? Is that a real magazine?

    She’ll never be fat, she can afford anything, and her dad would beat her to death if she wasn’t able to make him money…

  9. Akapee

    Eighth comment

  10. hafaball

    At least now she has some weight to carry her huge head! But #3, what you don’t understand is, these magazines always put down people, because no one is perfect. Just like many people here. Because no one is perfect. because no one is perfect. There, I said it three times, let it sink in.

  11. Akapee

    OK, 10th comment

  12. gilmore_gargoyles

    Jessica Blimpson?

  13. hafaball

    akapee, just give it up…lol

  14. HollyJ

    LOL Akapee! ‘Hard to squeeze those out before someone else gets posted, isn’t it ?

  15. hilary

    she is going through a stressful time. people need to just leave her alone. im sure no one wants a thing like what she is going through all over tabloids for everyone to read. just because she put on a few pounds doesnt mean she is fat. the tabloids talked about her being “too skinny” after dukes of hazzard and now they are talking about her being “too fat”. they will never be satisfied with her weight or how she looks because then they wouldnt have anything to print in their magazines. whoever is in charge of printing those magazines should be ashamed of themselves for what they put people through and how horrible they make people feel about themselves.

  16. Devil Is Chrome

    Forget Jessica Simpson, who is that other woman on the cover of that magazine?!

  17. gilmore_gargoyles

    Hi hilary, have you ever been on this website before?

  18. suzy

    33 pounds in what, 2 and a half months.. i dont believe it

    we’ll see on sunday when she’s at the oscars if she’s wearing a plus size dress


  19. LivingDeadGirl

    Oh No what is she over a size 3 now. Quick someone take her down she’s such a fattie now. We’ll call her Shamoo for now on. Or NOT. Because that is far from fat, yeah its not healthy to gain weight fast but come on on if she even did gain weight it is probably good for her. Theres to many nasty twigs out there now with all the Kate Moss’s, Nicole Richies and Paris Hitlons. since when did having no ass and no curves become hot? It must be like doing a pencil or a piece of paper there so nasty thin. Heaven forbid someone in Hollywood gain alittle weight and be a normal clothing size for a change. Oh no she has curves and her ribs don’t stick out, NOOOO Jessica your so fat, please.

    That said she’s still dumb as a box of rocks weight or no weight on. Maybe she can send some of that weight to her brain to replace the brains she is missing.

  20. Doc

    I don’t believe this for a second… let me know when you get some real pictures, then maybe Ill believe it… what the hell would she be doing in New Mexico anyway… who makes shopping trips there? horrendous…

  21. hafaball

    So, wait, if she gained 33 punds, she now…what, 99 pounds?

  22. Rylie

    Uhh, isn’t there already an Employee of the Month movie? Why can’t these dumbasses think of something new?

  23. downshine

    #15 and 19, get a grip! this is the SUPERFICIAL. take the poker out of your asses and lets move on. and in honor of Akapee 23rd comment!

  24. downshine

    #15 and 19, get a grip! this is the SUPERFICIAL. take the poker out of your asses and lets move on. and in honor of Akapee 23rd comment!

  25. downshine

    #15 and 19, get a grip! this is the SUPERFICIAL. take the poker out of your asses and lets move on. and in honor of Akapee 23rd comment!

  26. downshine

    sorry, my computer had an aneurysm. did anyone think thats maybe she’s pregnent?

  27. playahater101

    Thank you #16. Who IS that nightmare next to her?????????

  28. hafaball

    I don’t think so downshine, getting preggars is yesterdays news. Maybe the new thing is getting FAT! that’d be awesome!

  29. LinguisticAnthro

    If you took Jessica Simpson and added 33 pounds of fat to her frame, she would look chubby. “Chubby” and “average” mean the same thing in this country, I know. But give me a break, it’s not like 33 pounds is “just enough not to look anorexic,” it’s a LOT of weight.

    That being said, I doubt this story is true.

  30. Grphdesi23

    She still looks better than her sister.

  31. Maybe she’s been eating too many of those cheesy bites from pizza hut.

  32. Otto

    Apparently two thirds of America is depressed…Fat girls always say that famous skinny people are skinny cause they are rich and can afford a trainer, blah, blah, blah. They are skinny because they don’t eat as much as fat people and they occasionally walk around the block. I couldn’t care less cause I’m a chubby chaser. When Jessica hits two bills my chances go way up. How do you think I boned Kirsty Alley. Fettuccine!!!!!

  33. SoCalGal420

    You know, I can’t wait for the day that men are held to the same shitty standards of beauty as women: small dick? Fuck you! Love handles? Fuck off! Beer gut? Eww!

    I understand this is “The Superficial” but shit! A (bony!) bitch gains 30 pounds and dudes wanna be all “eww!”? The guy who writes for this site better be HAWT! I mean, fucking Eric Bana/Taye Diggs fine. He’s probably some fat pasty bastard sitting on his ass typing on a laptop at Starbucks lusting after hot chicks he’ll never pull in a million years. Asshole…

  34. blackblackheart


    It looks like whoever made this shoddy magazine cover isn’t getting paid enough.. because they have a severe shortage of fonts.. Maybe because this magazine can’t afford someone proper because it’s just a poor magazine trying to get rich and relies on bullshit stories about totally hot people getting fat..
    Seriously I’ve never heard of this magazine ever.

  35. monkeyballs

    Ok yeah. I love hatin’ on celebrities as much as the next person, especially if they are stupid and worthless (oh yeah, that’s pretty much all of them).

    But whoever wrote this entry on thesuperficial said if a fat woman is annoying he wants to hit her?

    Um. Ok. That’s just lame. Surely the writers here can do better than this shit.

    Removing this site from my bookmarks now. You guys have fun, this sucker takes too long to load even with DSL, anyway.

  36. blackblackheart

    monkeyballs is obviously an annoying fat girl herself.

  37. blackblackheart

    monkeyballs also obviously does not know how to clean out her cookies… In all senses of the phrase… I have DSL, and the site loads in literally one second or less…

  38. YoYo

    I live in Australia and NW is one of the weekly gossip magazines that are published. IMO NW is the biggest load of crap you can get for more than $4 a week. I would take this article with a pinch of salt because the sources aren’t credible and the stories they print are absolutely outrageous. The only ones that are the believeable are those about the local home-grown celebrities that haven’t hit the international market. So that’s prolly a bad foto of her or an old one, don’t get too worked up.

  39. blackblackheart

    Er.. guys DO have to go through this you retard.

    Ever seen a channel do coverage on the story of Jude Law’s bits? Yeah.. So have I. Talking about how small his penis is *rolls eyes*…
    You’re a fucking idiot.

    Also, a guy can barely get anywhere if he doesn’t have abs of steel… Girls all think they’re worth more than they are and won’t take anything that’s not 20 times hotter than themselves. Fuck you…

  40. blackblackheart

    Thanks for the info on the magazine…
    I knew it wasn’t credible..

  41. Otto

    Well if monkeyballs leaves…I think we all should….Come on….let’s go….come on get up…maybe monkeyballs is right….come on get up….Ok you fat fuckers just sit there and get fatter and get punched in the face see if monkeyballs and I care.

  42. #33 + #39 Sorry, but you’re both wrong. Guys do have to go through this, but no one cares about our looks. It’s either intelligence, or money.

    P.S. #33 – You’re a bitch THANK YOU.

  43. stevie511

    Never mind fat-Jess… what about Jackie Stallone on that cover! Sister’s lookin’ pretty grim. She’s the new Jocelyn Wildenstein!

  44. LoneWolf

    One can only hope that she’s getting fat. Jessica waddling around unkempt, unwashed, and untethered, a la Britney, would be the sh!t. However, she’s too classy to let that happen. And by “classy” I mean “overly controlled and micro managed by Creepy Dad”.

    If it’s too good to be true, it usually is.

  45. whaddyamean

    she’s a perfect example of how if you are considered sexy you can be as stupid as you want to and people will smile and think you’re funny, buy your albums, watch your movies, and stand up for you. don’t need a brain if you have a body. its no wonder then that people will go to every effort and expense for that body.

  46. Layne

    Who are all these new shitty people with no sense of humor?

    they need to die and go away

  47. whaddyamean

    she’d better take a lesson from britney about what happens when you lose the only thing that sold your records in the first place.

  48. playahater101

    #43, is that really Jackie Stallone?!?! She’s one SCARY woman.

  49. Getting fat?

    She’s been fat ever since she started.

  50. Jan

    I think she was far too skinny before!

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