Jessica Simpson gets into the wrong car

May 10th, 2007 // 86 Comments

Jessica Simpson attended the MET Costume Institute Benefit Gala earlier this week, and as she was leaving her hotel for the event she got into the wrong car. And not only does she not realize it, she even tries to defend herself by saying that’s the car that’s been driving her around all day. How does she even function? I wouldn’t be surprised if all the furniture in her home has mouth-sized holes in them because Jessica Simpson can’t figure out what food is.


  1. geek_uk

    Post a comment

  2. fergernauster

    Yeah, but she still looks fly…

  3. schack

    to be fair, all the black ones do look alike.

  4. KatieKates

    She doesn’t know what tuna is. Of course she wouldn’t know what car is hers.

  5. Don’t use your mouthwash around open flames.

  6. FRIST!!!

    This happened to someone else a while back. Does anyone remember who it was?

  7. Donkey


    A previously undiscovered brain cell was found in Jessie head. This brain cell has the ability to function in the vacuum of space. And, if only slightly, her brain has managed to function with only a single cell.

  8. FRIST!!!

    I watched the footage. I wonder what it’s like to walk outside and have people keep telling you you’re beautiful. Strangers. Taking your picture. Calling your name. Telling you to look at them. Saying Beautiful over and over…

    Must be pretty fucking annoying!

  9. Donkey

    It’s not that bad.

  10. pekpekshorts

    OK this is lame. HER Stupid assistant opened the door of the wrong car. I’d probably do the same thing with all those camera flashing in front of you.

  11. wedge1

    It’s not really her fault. Growing up, they never knew who was going to get into which bed. They only knew they were going to cry during the ride.

  12. The Squizz

    She’s a stupid whore who smells like piss and calls uses the pseudonym “N!k! Jacob.

  13. Just think of it, that car owner will take about this for years :LOL

  14. pekpekshorts

    You people are idiots. Then again this is the superficial regulars. Watch the footage again.

  15. DancingQueen

    I heard that she and Ashley share joint custody of a brain. This must have happened on a day that Ashley had it.

  16. pekpekshorts

    Celebs ride in rental cars all the time. If your assistant tells you this is your car, you’d probably make the same mistake. You people are stupider than her.

  17. Just think of it, that car owner will be talking about this for years… :LOL

  18. mrs.t

    FRIST! I remember that, too….and I actually think it might have been Jessica that time as well.

    If not, at least we can rest assured that she WILL do it again.

  19. Victor

    Hey Jessica can get in my car anytime. I will backseat her literally. Put my cock in her backseat in the backseat.

  20. freakflag

    She can get into my car if she wants, but, she’ll be walking bow legged when she get’s out.

  21. Jimbo ?

    FRIST – to answer your question from the last post. It was at home. I went to work late today.

  22. DancingQueen

    No 17, apparentently YOU’RE stupider cause that’s not an actual word.

  23. pekpekshorts

    LOL you retards actually read other posts.

  24. Anexio

    Jessica maybe a ‘tard but she’s still hotter than Melanie Griffith… and thats saying alot because Mel is super duper smokin’ hot today.

  25. Binky

    What !? – we have to watch Canadian beer commercials now ?
    Let the invasion begin !
    (But we need some Sleeman beer ads – better brew)

  26. pekpekshorts

    How many people here are overweight?

  27. Donkey

    Apparently you do too.

  28. pekpekshorts

    #3 “EMBARRESING!!!!” my favorite post. LOL

  29. LadyJane

    Gah, those fucking Canadians. Yeesh.

  30. Binky

    And sounds like a site full of viruses, and Trojans ™

  31. AngryD

    #16 LOL however it would probably have happened if she had been in possession of the brain that day anyway

  32. pekpekshorts

    How many of you are the stereotypical obese caucasian?

  33. FRIST!!!

    #27, what’s it to you???

  34. lambman

    “I wouldn’t be surprised if all the furniture in her home has mouth-sized holes in them because Jessica Simpson can’t figure out what food is.”

    considering she’s gained 20 pounds in the past year I’d say she knows what food is

  35. YouRang

    #20 Are you the most sex deprived person in the whole world? Does it even matter if what you’re looking at is male, female, animale? I get the impression that you will fuck absolutely anything.

  36. pekpekshorts

    Why do Canadians and Brits come to the U.S. to work?

  37. Binky

    the weather

  38. mrs.t

    lamebananas: get off your mom’s computer, you stupid little cunt.

  39. LadyJane

    And what is with them living in igloos and eating seal meat? Fucking hockey-playing, beaver-wearing, eh-saying idiots.

  40. Jillia

    “she even tries to defend herself by saying that’s the car that’s been driving her around all day”

    Well that sure doesn’t add up! The first car she tries to get into is an SUV but notice the correct car she gets into is a fucking LIMO.
    2 + 2 equals 7 in Jessica land.

  41. LadyJane

    don’t even get me started on curling, for chrissakes.

  42. Binky

    Well some of us actually prefer beaver eating, but maybe it’s just me.

  43. Jimbo ?

    Mrs. T do you kiss Mr. T with that mouth? I like it when you talk dirty!!

  44. LadyJane

    mmmmm…. beaver……

  45. Jimbo ?

    No Binky I prefer eating beaver too. Lot of beaver!!!

  46. mrs.t

    Mr. T is one of my mouth’s longtime fans.

  47. Jimbo ?

    You are such a tease Mrs T

  48. YouRang

    #41 I think in Jessica “The Monkey” Simpson’s case 2 + 2 = jello. I’m pretty sure Chris Rock’s joke applies here anyway.

  49. tits_on_snack

    Ok she’s about as dumb as a bag of bricks – but her assistant opened the fucking door and helped her into it. Is this the same assistant that dragged ScarJo down the SNL stairs? Where do I get a job like that?

    P.S. #37, we do? I spent 2 years living in the U.S. and I don’t remember working a damn day – unless you call sitting on the couch baked off your ass watching Mama’s Family at 6am “work”.

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