Jessica Simpson gets dumped

May 18th, 2007 // 62 Comments
jessica-simpson-cannes.jpg

Jessica Simpson and John Mayer have broken up after Mayer reportedly dumped her last weekend. Additionally, sources are claiming Jessica Simpson has turned her back on Operation Smile when she didn’t attend their benefit the other night.

“She’s turned her back on them,” the spy said. “She got a lot of good publicity from the charity but refused to let pictures of her be in the commemorative book and hasn’t done anything with them in a year.”

I don’t care about either of these stories, I just wanted to post this picture of Jessica Simpson at Cannes with her super lopsided breasts. If it were anybody except John Mayer I’d understand why he dumped her. Except it is John Mayer. So I don’t. When you look the way he does, you should be thankful if you manage to get a date with a store mannequin. Or a telephone book with a mouth drawn on in lipstick.

superficial

  1. leelee

    awwwwww

  2. leelee

    … i’m talking about the lopsided breast of course. How Sad!

  3. Jimbo ?

    At least these are better boobs than the last post

  4. td

    He dumped her cause she’s too damn tan.

  5. Hey Jessica, you have snu on your shoulder.

    Snu? What’s snu?

    Nothing, what’s snu with you?

  6. It's Me Fuckers

    hahahahaha, I wonder if she regrets getting rid of nick… at least he wasn’t too bad looking and look at the pussy he’s getting now! I guess she’s gonna have to go back to daddy’s bed for a while…

  7. FRIST!!!

    Well I think John Mayer is adorable. Wish he’d come over and mow my lawn. Maybe trim my hedges…heh heh.

  8. flavio

    She looks beautiful in this picture… quite opposite from the previous ones.

  9. Anexio

    Nice teats.

  10. Parrish

    lonely lonely girl

  11. klove

    Well, i’ve been on this site for a year and it makes me laugh every day. But this one had me laughing so hard i was crying so I’m leaving my first comment!! Whoever you are that writes these….good job!!! You’re freakin hilarious!!
    Does anyone think she regrets leaving Nick?

  12. Wisp

    I don’t like John or Jessica, but I’m actually almost sad for them.

  13. veggi

    I want some of those furry slippers.

  14. techclerk

    If I wanted to hear somebody sing John Cougar Mellencamp songs, I’d listen to the originals because John gets the words to his songs right.

  15. raven

    she looks so much betrter in this pic.

  16. captain obvious

    I saw it comin’, it was really obvious because she was trampin’ it up out on the town alot lately, and looking real insecure. Either she had already been dumped and was doing an “I’ll show him! Look at what you’re missing out on! I’m hot and people want me!Now you’ll regret it!” or she knew she was about to get canned so she was desperately trying to do a “look at me, I’m so hot, so many people want me, you better not dump me or you’ll be sorry”…jeez, I know way too much abt these situations, I should just shut up already. Anyways, it was bound to fail, it was purely a rebound relationship for her.

  17. Chauncey Gardner

    I’m still sort of digging Dark Jessica. I’d like to give her some snorkel lessons.

  18. YOUNGONE

    Jessica, your rebound boytoy is right here. When I mean rebound, I mean I just wanna play with your lopsidded boobies.

  19. Carpediem

    John Mayer can play guitar like nobody else. He’s no brad pitt, but who cares? His music rules and that’s what counts. At least he’s not fake like this hollywood whore.

  20. bungoone

    if she was insecure before, i’m afraid to see what she’s going to do now getting dumped by that thing. get ready for Operation Trout Pout, Take 2. this is going to be a disaster, i can’t wait!

  21. Ambrse311

    Does anyone else notice that when she smiles really big her top lip sucks in and she looks like a donkey? WILBUR…ppppffff!!??

  22. Jimbo ?

    @21 no, my eyes never make it up that high

  23. bungoone

    No, Slash can play the guitar. John is just a giant pussy.

    He dated this “fake hollywood whore” so explain that? He’s not fake, so clearly it was for her intelligence, right?

  24. Ambrse311

    Try Jimbo Try…not so much in this picture..and really it’s her skin above her lip that sucks in, not so much her lip… I’ve never seen anything like it!

  25. Cypress

    She got dumped? I thought she made dumps in .. well you know.. maybe that is why nobody wants her. She’s not house-broken.

  26. TheDarkLady

    From what I understand, it’s well known in LA that John is HEAVILY into watersports.
    So, Jessica is dumb, lets her dad take pervy pics, and likes to be peed on.
    Such an attractive, classy lady.

  27. Don Mega

    Nice rack :P~

  28. honeycomb'sbig_yeahyeahyeah!

    Operation Smile!?? Is she also a member of Sparkle Motion???

  29. DrPhowstus

    I’d take a dump on her.

  30. ANGEE

    I think she has a nice smile…I think Jessica is crazy hot, and I thought her and John was good together. When you have a nice face—then its hard to look bad. Don’t understand why everyone hates on Jessica.

  31. sweetnsnooty

    Cut off the head and it would be a perfect package. Papa Simpson takes good care of the twins.

  32. Ambrse311

    I think she’s very attractive, body and face. I just don’t like when she smiles really cheesy and big, her skin above her lip sucks in and she looks like a horse or something. And I can’t watch her sing, it looks like her mouth is going to open up and the top of her head is going to fall back like a pez dispenser. Boy does she make some strange faces…when she sings.

  33. elle

    her boobs are only lop-sided cos one of her shoulders is up. but my my look at those shoulders. arnold schwartzenegger would be proud to have them in place of his own.

  34. thank God shes away from that old man,
    he was making her fat and ugly..

  35. Whammer Jammer

    #32: When does she sing?

  36. wedgeone

    Now she’ll have to find another guy to pop her in the pooper so hard she sprays diarrhea all over the bedsheets.

    http://vipglamour.net/Celebrity/blind-item

  37. I knew it was coming! They tried hard to convince us that they had some type of connection, but i DIDN’T FALL FOR IT! I guess that she saw how happy nick was, and she thought ok, maybe I’ll try to out do him, but it backfired! SORRY SHIT OUT OF LUCK< GO BACK TO DADDY! MESSICA SIMPSON!

  38. dede

    I used to think Jessica was so beautiful and natural now shes just a dumb hollywood skank who got surgery to look good. Look at her old pic before she so ugly at the celeb surgery site…

    http://www.HollywoodPlastic.com

    Man dude look like she got downsyndrome yuck.

  39. fatty

    LISTEN. IT MUST BE SOMETHNG WRONG WITH HER PERSONALITY. Because she can’t keep a man. It may be that her loving aint so good either. On top of that, dude is an ug mug. he isnt cute at all. Where do he get off dumping anyone? She just need to get a nose job, and look more natrual. And maybe go to school or something, because i am starting to feel sorry for her.

  40. sharpie

    @28 operation smile is a charity that gives money to poor children/families who otherwise couldn’t afford surgery for facial deformities… although it is quite likely that she also mistook it for sparkle motion… i can just imagine her showing up at a hospital in legwarmers and a leotard (3 sizes too small, of course)and calling her agent in confusion, demanding to know why they’ve cast such ugly children to be her back-up dancers

  41. penis

    Yeah so John is a nice jewish boy….surely he can’t be too serious about this moronic preacher’s daughter….and I bet she has no nautural rhythm either….LMFAO

  42. NicotineEyePatch

    That’s what happens when you give a musician shitdick. It’s all about the anal douchery with those guys.

  43. getyourhandoutofmycat

    I can’t blame him….i’d have gotten sick of having to share with papa joe too

  44. Lopsided is an understatement! I wouldn’t be surprised if those things threw the earth’s rotation of axis.

    http://www.GossipFeast.com

  45. cassimus

    Whatever, John Mayer’s fucking sexy.

  46. shexy

    JOHN MAYER’S HOT. and jessica’s too dumb for him anyway.

  47. Dude, she lookz so much
    better already since the
    old shit is outta her life.

    and she also lookz 1,000
    timez better than Spearz.

  48. Melaney

    I’m wondering how many of you are bashing her, look better, have more money and fame, and are as successful as she is.

  49. brianna

    What a bitch… now that shes not in the media as much anymore, shes turning her back on a charity. I wish someone would bitch slap this cunt!!

  50. HotDogger

    I’d still allow her the honour of eating corn out of my pooper.

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