Jessica Simpson gets deep

y’know if you’d had just put “Jessica goes deep”, you wouldn’t have had to post a story at all.

She’s about as deep as her cleavage…go ahead and mull that over for a few minutes.

I’m pretty good at that.

Aside from the fact that she quoted herself, I was actually impressed at her writing skills. I think that Lindsay Lohan would do well to take advice from Jessica on coherent messages to fans.

This woman looks like a fucking squirrel, only with 1/3 of the intellegence of your friendly neighborhood tree climbing furball. Vacancy at the Simpson Motel!

She’s SO ugly!

Michelangelo and Jessica Simpson. They’re so much alike. I bet if he were alive today, he would also spend 1/3 of his time in a Mystic Tan booth, 1/3 of his time looking in the mirror perfecting pouty faces for the camera (most of those would be over the shoulder) and the other 1/3 just being as annoying as humanly possible.
I’m going to quote myself now:
“Jessica Simpson is an idiot.”

I’d like to go deep in her.

Or have her go deep on my man-meat.

Who cares about this bimbo when rottentomatoes has clips of Lohan stripping in her new movie

check it

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/news/comments/?entryid=422758

on second thought….this is the most insane nonsense I have ever read.

she was “inspired to write the below passage”

and since she’s quoting something she wroter to inspire herself isn’t it crazy that the quote uses the royal we?

“Today, I challenge us to ask ourselves this…
What if we allow our fear to provoke us into action?”

who is “we”? “ourselves’? how many people live in her head? or her breasts?

Oh snap! She’s a piece of work. So in layman’s terms she no longer wants fear to influence her future. This is something all of us already know subconsciously. It’s funny how she’s stating the obvious and actually thinks she’s enlightening anyone…umm breaking new grounds…the secret. She must really believe the average non-famous person walks around aimlessly throught their entire little lives.How is that narcissistic attitude?

It’s not our fault that she let her daddy exploit her to lead down a path of short lived sucess. Actually…I take that back. Her dad probably couldn’t have done much better with what he had to work with. He should get the “manager of the year award”. Do we really want to hear this dizzy bitch whine now that she’s no longer relevant? This is only the start of her classless cry for attention.

Jessica, this is what’s in store for you:

1-866-445-6580

She didn’t go to any museums, she sat in her hotel and flipped between Dune and American Psycho.

…She’s also starting to get that same crazy face look like Tom Cruize

Did anyone else notice that her movie poster shows a picture of her taken like 5 years ago when people actually cared, only they changed the bikini from an American flag to a camo bikini.

Also, her writing wasn’t bad compared to the shitty nonsense of Britney’s blogs. At least admit that.

Shouldn’t Ken tell her to brush her tongue…G-ROSS.

When she went to the museum to see works by Michaelangelo, she thought they meant the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.

I don’t know why everyone is so interested in Jessica’s every move lately. What was the last quality thing she’s done? Reading some of her quotes boils my blood: http://listafterlist.com/tabid/57/listid/2802//I+had+very+big+boobs+at+a+young+age+Jessica+Simpson+Quotes.aspx

Jessica is officially my write-in candidate for the 2008 presidential election.

“I’ve discovered somewhere worth traveling to…
I’m left with nothing to challenge the best of me. I just remain cowering from my true identity.”

I sense that she’s referring to Papa Joe in these thoughts.
Still, her drivel is adequite compared to the other famous women her age!

Hey, CHESTICA: Nobody cares about anything other than your fucking TITS, so STFU and spare the world from your shit!

She’s like a malfunctioning fembot. I’m sure the next few models will be much better.

Jebus, a minute with her must seem like days. Her writing is mostly spelled and punctuated correctly, and it makes sense, kind of, but it’s the kind of touchy-feely therapyspeak that makes me want to run far from anyone who says shit like this:

“Sometimes we are all so afraid to be honest with ourselves because we know that honesty will lead us somewhere off the path of the life we’ve mapped out in our minds.”

WTF does that even mean? I’m trying to remember that she’s still pretty young and dumb and I was pretty dumb when I was her age and she has every right to express her thoughts, but she might want to keep that shit to herself, in her “journal,” and not put it up on a website so that we all have proof as to what a doofus she is. Just shake your cans and sing, Jessica. Don’t try to be “deep.” You’re just not there yet.

And she still looks like an Oompa Loompa. She needs to either bleach her hair back to the blonde it was before, or stop with the tanner, because now her hair and skin are almost exactly the same color, and it’s freaking me out a little.

What’s sad is that there are probably like 10,000 12 year olds who thought that was incredibly poignant. Who would go to Jessica Simpson’s website?

Meh, who cares. We’re all trying to find ourselves in this crazy world, and your 20′s are all about self discovery and realizations. Jessica’s no different. She just happens to have big boobs and is famous. Granted I don’t think she’s the sharpest tool in the shed, so I wouldn’t exactly go taking advice from her. But then again, what she says isn’t idiotic either…Meh.

she gained much weight!!! she’s so ugly!!!

I’m ashamed to admit that I know this, but jessica didn’t get that quote from a book on Michaelangelo. It came from a cheesey, new age, baby boomer book by Chris Widener called “The Angel Inside,” which is a FICTIONAL account about Michaelangelo that is supposed to inspire us to find “the angel inside of each of us.” She is quite the intellectual.

Check It: http://www.chriswidener.com/

“Alex, I am going to go ahead and take ‘Washed Up Blonde Skanks’ for $1,000. . .”

What’s up with the sapphire necklace? Shouldn’t it be a pearl necklace instead?

My Comment Part II:

I should say that the book is a fictional account, but it is NOT about Michaelangelo. It is about a man trying to find himself in Italy, and some crazy, old Italian man, who somehow speaks perfect English, takes this man in to see the statue of David and used David as an allegory for life.

I don’t know which one’s more scary. Her ugly mouth and the way she speaks, her terrible songs, her awful fashion sense, her FEET (vomit), or her pretending to be an intellectual or spiritual?
I know why the paparazzi follows around these foolios (Shitney, Herpes Hilton, Lohan etc). Because the paparazzi sees the humor in laughing at retards. The more retatarded one is the more attention they get from the tabloids. Simple.
The possibility of these retards bumping into trees, falling, tripping, infecting the masses with ignorance, stupor and herpes is very high and that means sales of the gossip magazines.
Why can’t an earthquake wipe out all of these people? Or a tsunami. Or SARS and AIDS.
Or a serial killer:) Ohhh yes!

She needs to “break out” the Proactive. And, yes, that is a double entendre.

Wow… that was deep! Just as deep as when she discovered “Chicken of the Sea” wasn’t chicken at all. Talk about discovery!
She’s the type that crashes into walls, drooling and then asks “How’d that get there ya’ll?”.

WOW! she finally discovered Something that has some meaning to it! WOW, john keep this shit up, maybe, just maybe she will be eventually smart!

Her mother has claimed that Jessica’s IQ is 160.
Which would be approximately the same as Albert Einstein’s.

Einstein probably would have done a lot of Mystic Tan, too. That’s why he spent all of his free time doing math equations- no Mystic Tan. This has not been documented, but I think it can be extrapolated if you study the facts.

Could somebody please make Jessica- and her mom, and disgusting father, and her sister- go away now?
Maybe a big can of bug spray would do it?

# 15 yeah I noticed too
http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A9iby4XTbVdGtLsAhyyjzbkF/SIG=12qte0bu8/EXP=1180221267/**http%3A//www.funponsel.com/images/jessica-simpson/jessica_simpson_13.jpg

Jessica Simpson has what every rich and famous person has: a belief that they must be better than everyone else. But they aren’t. They are just luckier. Take away the cameras and the money, and Jessica is just another below-average intelligence person.

This cow tries too fuckin hard. Especially the last pic. She looks like a tranny . .. and thats coming from someone that likes Kardashian and Hilton.

She looks like she went a little too deep in the deep blue sea to me. It appears that she doesn’t have feet anymore. I think they turned into one giant flipper. Perhaps, she is morphing into a mermaid.

Sad. This girl used to be attractive 5 years ago. All the tweaking has left her looking like she is on the Michael Jackson plastic surgery program. 7 more surgeries and she will be a functional transvestite.

Hey Pappa Joe. Learn to manage your assetts dumbass

yes Jessica, U went deep
your with that old shit
once again, u couldn’t go
any deeper then him….

Ingrid Chauvin????

I would like to see Jessica on The View, or run for president.

I am so sick of this bitch. If you look annoying up in the dictionary there is her ugly-ass picture.

I don’t get it… Is she trying to tell us to act on fear or NOT to act on fear…?

she?! deep?! lets face it, her manager wrote the text and she learnt it(it took her 15 days) and she said it here to look smart. jessy, dont be afraid to be stupid, you see, many people do that. look at britney…its not a big deal, jessy. good luck

Wow.. those are some brassy ass hilites.

Maybe it’s just the light, but.. wow.

She sure does look better with lighter hair, though.

All you losers are so jealous of her.

CALL SECURITY…the lady in the background of pic #3 stole my grandma’s skirt.

I can’t bear looking at her face straight on. Her eyes are so perpetually wide and empty they transform her face into a voracious black hole. Was it a result of botched plastic surgery?

I never knew it was possible for a person to look (and BE) so DUMB.