Jessica Simpson attended the 11th Annual Ace Awards last night in New York City and nearly took a spill when her heel became stuck. Fortunately she gained her balance and made some hilarious faces in the process. Knowing from numerous experiences how to recover from an embarrassing situation, Jessica Simpson went inside and demonstrated how awesome her rack is by turning sideways for photographers. Nice save. Seriously, I already forgot what I was just talking about. Also it appears I forgot to wear pants this morning. That’s odd. Could’ve sworn I had them on in the car…
Pictures one and two: “I’m an aeroplane! Wheeee! Nyyyrrrraaaom!”
I like like a stacked rack positioned sideways. The only thing missing is camel toed whale tail. Less dress please.
I guess that pockmarked sow’s calf implants don’t help with her balance.
#2, you are gross. And immature. You are indeed #2 (shit).
Jessica has HORRIFYING feet.
Once I took my blowup doll outside on a windy day and tied it to a rock and it looked exactly like those top pictures
Do her boobs have a really funny shape in the side view – flat on top and then bulging out at the bottom? Plus, why do all of these Hollywood twats with disgusting feet insist on wearing open-toed shoes?
Imagine the faces she’ll make when you suddenly and without warning start spurting a hot load of semen in her mouth!
ahahaha. good one jimbo troll!
Body by Porsche, brains by Mattel.
Just remember, Jess: Stripper Shoes + Grating = BAD. :(
File that with Chicken of the Sea.
@13 too funny. I don’t usually notice a woman’s rack, unless it is Mrs. Dog the Bounty Hunter and then I’m nervous.
Walking across a grate with spiked heels…….brilliant.
Pic 6 – “When hippos feed”.
i love how thousands of women everyday managed to avoid this, yet this shit-for-brains makes a huge scene over it & has to have someone hold her.
It’d be cool as shit if all of the sudden, a Nineteenth century British “sportsman” popped out from behind a trashcan, and shot both of Jessica Simpson’s calf-muslces dead. Then took a photograph; and sent the legs to the taxidermist.
Her skin looks awful. So much for Proactive. Talk about over exposed.
Too bad that guy in the black suit (somebody from Johnny Sacramoni’s crew???) wasn’t more like Quagmire. He would have moved her hand through his zipper without her even knowing it (not a huge accomplishment…).
She used to be a man right? And why can’t she close her fucking mouth? retard.
GROSS! Why’s she got her mouth open so wide? You can totally see a little bit of Dad’s semen on her back molars.
In the 13th pic (1st indoor shot), she has a nasty gash on her ankle. I used to accidentally cut myself like that shaving when I was 12 and learning how to use a real razor. Good job!
If you look at her facial expression in pic 14 you can tell she is repeating the words “remember Jess, stomach in…..tits out” over and over in her head.
Jessica looks good…She was said to have a personal account on
meetrich.com club with her hot pictures and blogs there. The site is getting hotter and hotter, cuz quite a few millionaires and celebrities tend to go there.
@2 what a loser!!!
Great! Now we have spammers here in the Superficial too. #28 is advertising for some lame web site. I was on E! Online the other day and every picture had some comment mentioning the same site. They all said the same thing too
“[Random celebrity] looks good…She was said to have a personal account on
meetrich.com club with her hot pictures and blogs there. The site is getting hotter and hotter, cuz quite a few millionaires and celebrities tend to go there.”
So let’s all boycott this site! I refuse to visit a site that is pushed in my face like that!
Any girl who has been to NYC at least ONCE and has worn high heels here would know that you can’t walk on grates without your heel getting stuck. This bitch is here all the time!
I mean, I don’t expect Jess to understand that a small object will fall into larger holes (that’s what she said), but I would expect one of her handlers to have at least given her a heads up.
You know, in Jessica’s case – only – I could believe her if she said “It was an accident, I swear! I tripped and fell on his penis!”
First!
To ejaculate on Jess’s picture!
Bitchy, considering she has 3 people there to “handle” her & she still fell in the grates, they must all be equally retarded.
Jessica is 1000 times hotter than Vanessa Minnillillililiooo. Nick Lachey is gay.
If she only had a brain, she would know that the trick for getting out of a grate with high heels on is to tip-toe to the cement sidewalk. And by “trick” I mean, common sense and logic.
Guy in pic #6:
My assistance just cost you 20 US Rape Dollars.
even her ass is to big for my
I’m bored. Where’s Britney?
That look on her face is too funny. What a retard.
My husband thinks she’s ugly. I think she is okay looking. I like her boobs…I could use a couple.
Jessica makes my penis sad
You sillies she was just trying to walk and chew gum at the same time and well… as you can see it’s just to darn tricky to do “all that kinda smart people stuff”… splat.
Or I could have written.
So this is what it looks like when Jessica tries to walk and chew gum at the same time. Funny I expected more tears.
see I could have gone with either one of those but since I’m so nice and generous I gave ya both of em. Just like Paris Hilton she could give you just one STD but since she’s now a generous philanthropist she’ll give you ALL 82 billlion of ‘em. That’s generosity.
She can do what ever she wants and look great.
Post another story dammit!!!
Fine. Hey Jimbo! You out there? Time for cybersex! I’ll start.
First, I’ll slip on a skin tight black dress that barely covers my gorgeous ass and tits. I’m not wearing any panties or bra today, because I know that’s the way you like it, Jimbo. I’ll sit down next to you on the couch, and take your hand and place it on my thigh. You begin to slowly caress my smooth skin above my knee and gently work your hand toward my inner thigh. I’ll spread my legs for your hand and lean over to give you a hot passionate kiss.
OK! Your turn!
Oh, yeah, frist! Then, after you kiss the back of my neck, I will bend you over the bed and eat you out from behind like a savage. After bringing you almost to orgasm, I’ll force you to eat my ass-salad as desert, while pummeling your breasts with my ape-like hands. What a reach!
After you’ve satisfied my ass, I’ll bang you hard from behind. Hard enough for you to know I’m there. Hard enough for you to know that you can’t escape. Hard enough. You’ll beg me to impregnate you. I’ll oblige your request by shooting my heavy-seed all over your gigantic tits. Fin.
you kno u would still tap tht ass alllll night long… :D
win a free safari! LOL http://www.myafricansafaris.com
let us not forget, this idiot slept with “johnny knoxville,” and thus carries many microscopic diseases in her lamb pit.
#47 ?!?!?
She’s a Tranny.
she too..Grew Up SUCKING on LEAD TOYs Made IN China
GreatRack?
Sameshit..
gain wieght = get breast implants
re+peroxidehead , play dumb
Balances out the male eye
there used to be a grate like that in front of my office, and we’d laugh at chicks getting shoes stuck on smoke breaks…I miss the good old days
She’s the dumbest chick ever. Case closed.
horseface got fat again, damn it, Papa Joe needs to pound that ass more often so Jess can lose those extra pounds.
she’s hungrying for attention.