Jessica Simpson attended the 11th Annual Ace Awards last night in New York City and nearly took a spill when her heel became stuck. Fortunately she gained her balance and made some hilarious faces in the process. Knowing from numerous experiences how to recover from an embarrassing situation, Jessica Simpson went inside and demonstrated how awesome her rack is by turning sideways for photographers. Nice save. Seriously, I already forgot what I was just talking about. Also it appears I forgot to wear pants this morning. That’s odd. Could’ve sworn I had them on in the car…
Guy | November 6, 2007 at 12:51 pm
lol
p911gt10c | November 6, 2007 at 12:51 pm
FIRST you AIDS sore lickers!
Oeuf | November 6, 2007 at 12:51 pm
Firstest?
Guy | November 6, 2007 at 12:52 pm
I would have said LOLLERCAUST, but I didn’t have time.
Oeuf | November 6, 2007 at 12:52 pm
Damn you, guy. I know where you sleep.
Guy | November 6, 2007 at 12:53 pm
Really? Where?
Papa Joe | November 6, 2007 at 12:54 pm
I love the two pictures where she’s bending over – that’s exactly how she looked when I went ass-to-mouth.
VG | November 6, 2007 at 12:54 pm
Tran-Knee.
Phy | November 6, 2007 at 12:55 pm
Pictures one and two: “I’m an aeroplane! Wheeee! Nyyyrrrraaaom!”
StackedRack | November 6, 2007 at 12:57 pm
I like like a stacked rack positioned sideways. The only thing missing is camel toed whale tail. Less dress please.
Wowee Woo Wah | November 6, 2007 at 12:58 pm
I guess that pockmarked sow’s calf implants don’t help with her balance.
stevenholt1@mac.com | November 6, 2007 at 1:04 pm
#2, you are gross. And immature. You are indeed #2 (shit).
Jessica has HORRIFYING feet.
Jimbo | November 6, 2007 at 1:04 pm
Once I took my blowup doll outside on a windy day and tied it to a rock and it looked exactly like those top pictures
UselessBroad | November 6, 2007 at 1:06 pm
Do her boobs have a really funny shape in the side view – flat on top and then bulging out at the bottom? Plus, why do all of these Hollywood twats with disgusting feet insist on wearing open-toed shoes?
Dick | November 6, 2007 at 1:09 pm
Imagine the faces she’ll make when you suddenly and without warning start spurting a hot load of semen in her mouth!
iggev | November 6, 2007 at 1:10 pm
ahahaha. good one jimbo troll!
kpol | November 6, 2007 at 1:10 pm
Body by Porsche, brains by Mattel.
Just remember, Jess: Stripper Shoes + Grating = BAD. :(
File that with Chicken of the Sea.
Feckless | November 6, 2007 at 1:12 pm
@13 too funny. I don’t usually notice a woman’s rack, unless it is Mrs. Dog the Bounty Hunter and then I’m nervous.
nipolian | November 6, 2007 at 1:16 pm
Walking across a grate with spiked heels…….brilliant.
Pic 6 – “When hippos feed”.
gotmilk? | November 6, 2007 at 1:17 pm
i love how thousands of women everyday managed to avoid this, yet this shit-for-brains makes a huge scene over it & has to have someone hold her.
D. Richards | November 6, 2007 at 1:18 pm
It’d be cool as shit if all of the sudden, a Nineteenth century British “sportsman” popped out from behind a trashcan, and shot both of Jessica Simpson’s calf-muslces dead. Then took a photograph; and sent the legs to the taxidermist.
lj | November 6, 2007 at 1:21 pm
Her skin looks awful. So much for Proactive. Talk about over exposed.
I watch too much TV | November 6, 2007 at 1:30 pm
Too bad that guy in the black suit (somebody from Johnny Sacramoni’s crew???) wasn’t more like Quagmire. He would have moved her hand through his zipper without her even knowing it (not a huge accomplishment…).
BaconMessiah | November 6, 2007 at 1:30 pm
She used to be a man right? And why can’t she close her fucking mouth? retard.
Ashlee S. | November 6, 2007 at 1:32 pm
GROSS! Why’s she got her mouth open so wide? You can totally see a little bit of Dad’s semen on her back molars.
Kim | November 6, 2007 at 1:33 pm
In the 13th pic (1st indoor shot), she has a nasty gash on her ankle. I used to accidentally cut myself like that shaving when I was 12 and learning how to use a real razor. Good job!
nipolian | November 6, 2007 at 1:34 pm
If you look at her facial expression in pic 14 you can tell she is repeating the words “remember Jess, stomach in…..tits out” over and over in her head.
hokup | November 6, 2007 at 1:38 pm
Jessica looks good…She was said to have a personal account on
meetrich.com club with her hot pictures and blogs there. The site is getting hotter and hotter, cuz quite a few millionaires and celebrities tend to go there.
Jimbo | November 6, 2007 at 1:41 pm
@2 what a loser!!!
Who Me? | November 6, 2007 at 1:42 pm
Great! Now we have spammers here in the Superficial too. #28 is advertising for some lame web site. I was on E! Online the other day and every picture had some comment mentioning the same site. They all said the same thing too
“[Random celebrity] looks good…She was said to have a personal account on
meetrich.com club with her hot pictures and blogs there. The site is getting hotter and hotter, cuz quite a few millionaires and celebrities tend to go there.”
So let’s all boycott this site! I refuse to visit a site that is pushed in my face like that!
Bitchy McBitchington, III | November 6, 2007 at 1:45 pm
Any girl who has been to NYC at least ONCE and has worn high heels here would know that you can’t walk on grates without your heel getting stuck. This bitch is here all the time!
I mean, I don’t expect Jess to understand that a small object will fall into larger holes (that’s what she said), but I would expect one of her handlers to have at least given her a heads up.
Rick | November 6, 2007 at 1:51 pm
You know, in Jessica’s case – only – I could believe her if she said “It was an accident, I swear! I tripped and fell on his penis!”
Ilikebigtits | November 6, 2007 at 1:52 pm
First!
Ilikebigtits | November 6, 2007 at 1:52 pm
To ejaculate on Jess’s picture!
gotmilk? | November 6, 2007 at 1:52 pm
Bitchy, considering she has 3 people there to “handle” her & she still fell in the grates, they must all be equally retarded.
Duh | November 6, 2007 at 1:53 pm
Jessica is 1000 times hotter than Vanessa Minnillillililiooo. Nick Lachey is gay.
Bitchy McBitchington, III | November 6, 2007 at 1:57 pm
If she only had a brain, she would know that the trick for getting out of a grate with high heels on is to tip-toe to the cement sidewalk. And by “trick” I mean, common sense and logic.
Everlasting Bass | November 6, 2007 at 2:01 pm
Guy in pic #6:
My assistance just cost you 20 US Rape Dollars.
needle-dicked nate | November 6, 2007 at 2:06 pm
even her ass is to big for my
FRIST!!! | November 6, 2007 at 2:08 pm
I’m bored. Where’s Britney?
lux | November 6, 2007 at 2:08 pm
That look on her face is too funny. What a retard.
required | November 6, 2007 at 2:09 pm
My husband thinks she’s ugly. I think she is okay looking. I like her boobs…I could use a couple.
Donkey Ass | November 6, 2007 at 2:11 pm
Jessica makes my penis sad
life is a shithole | November 6, 2007 at 2:29 pm
You sillies she was just trying to walk and chew gum at the same time and well… as you can see it’s just to darn tricky to do “all that kinda smart people stuff”… splat.
life is a shithole | November 6, 2007 at 2:33 pm
Or I could have written.
So this is what it looks like when Jessica tries to walk and chew gum at the same time. Funny I expected more tears.
see I could have gone with either one of those but since I’m so nice and generous I gave ya both of em. Just like Paris Hilton she could give you just one STD but since she’s now a generous philanthropist she’ll give you ALL 82 billlion of ‘em. That’s generosity.
Bigheadmike | November 6, 2007 at 2:35 pm
She can do what ever she wants and look great.
FRIST!!! | November 6, 2007 at 2:44 pm
Post another story dammit!!!
Fine. Hey Jimbo! You out there? Time for cybersex! I’ll start.
First, I’ll slip on a skin tight black dress that barely covers my gorgeous ass and tits. I’m not wearing any panties or bra today, because I know that’s the way you like it, Jimbo. I’ll sit down next to you on the couch, and take your hand and place it on my thigh. You begin to slowly caress my smooth skin above my knee and gently work your hand toward my inner thigh. I’ll spread my legs for your hand and lean over to give you a hot passionate kiss.
OK! Your turn!
Dick Richards (Jimbo) | November 6, 2007 at 3:03 pm
Oh, yeah, frist! Then, after you kiss the back of my neck, I will bend you over the bed and eat you out from behind like a savage. After bringing you almost to orgasm, I’ll force you to eat my ass-salad as desert, while pummeling your breasts with my ape-like hands. What a reach!
After you’ve satisfied my ass, I’ll bang you hard from behind. Hard enough for you to know I’m there. Hard enough for you to know that you can’t escape. Hard enough. You’ll beg me to impregnate you. I’ll oblige your request by shooting my heavy-seed all over your gigantic tits. Fin.
natasha | November 6, 2007 at 3:08 pm
you kno u would still tap tht ass alllll night long… :D
win a free safari! LOL http://www.myafricansafaris.com
alf oldland | November 6, 2007 at 3:10 pm
let us not forget, this idiot slept with “johnny knoxville,” and thus carries many microscopic diseases in her lamb pit.