Jessica Simpson: Dreams, out. My car, in.

March 12th, 2010 // 40 Comments

During an interview with iheartradio yesterday (after the jump), Jessica Simpson revealed she doesn’t brush her teeth just before singing two feet away from a crowd of people who are now considered missing persons:

“I don’t brush my teeth. No, really. I just use Listerine, and sometimes I’ll use my sweater.”

A lot of you sent this one in, so I really put a lot of thought into how this information truly affects me as a person and here’s what I came up with:

Does she still have giant breasts? Then we’re good here.

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. Rae

    sweater? wtf? what does she do with it? i don’t get it

  2. josette

    she’s beautiful

  3. PunkA

    Jessica needs to put the chalupas down and get her ever growing ass and chin to the gym. She used to be way hot, now she is just ok, with her chicken wings and jowls.

    Seriously Jess, don;t buy into the Hollywood thing, get all hot and tight and make money off of it in film, then go Delta Burke on us and act like the problem is with us. Hypocritical all the way.

    I am done with her until she decides to take better care of herself.

  4. Stupid

    Why would she tell anyone that, I just don’t get it!!!!

  5. Mackenzie

    that’s friggin’ disgusting… rubbing your sweater on your filmy teeth doesn’t make them clean!! *GAG*

  6. Samantha

    Looks like John Mayer isn’t the only one that doesn’t know when to shut up. Is this another cry for attention and way to stay in the media? ::nods head::

  7. Fati87

    Sometimes I just don’t know…

  8. Ralph

    Here’s hoping that Jeccica’s dumbness is just an act.

    If she is really as dumb as she projects, she should have a handler with her at all times to prevent stuff like stabbing herself with a fork while eating.

  9. Mandi

    I don’t think she was saying she doesn’t brush them AT ALL… was she? I think she meant in a pinch, or something?

  10. Taylor

    ohmygosh! First she talks about her freeness with her farting…now she doesn’t brush her teeth….eeeeeeuuuuwwwww! What’s next with her?! I bet she also has one of those, hate to wash my hair, stinky scalps….Actually, I bet she just stinks all over……

  11. IKE

    Hey, Listerine is some POWERFUL shit. I bet you could get by only using that stuff and everything still workout fine!

  12. maria

    so much for a bubble gum tongue

  13. cc

    Later she stated ‘I don’t use toilet paper, I just use air freshener.’

  14. Dank

    Her teeth are extremely powerful??? WTF is that supposed to mean? Does she mean strong as in they wont rot if she doesnt brush? Yeah i thought that too jessica. Surprise. They do.

    #12 …nice

  15. sunshine

    cc #13 – You are hilarious – kudos to you!

  16. It’s called a sense of humor you ignorant gunts. She’s not being fucking serious.

  17. Steph

    She actually said she doesn’t brush her teeth at night, not that she doesn’t brush them at all. I’m also pretty sure she’s not being serious.

  18. Oink

    Jeez – even her knees are fat!

  19. The Topiary Cow

    Superficial Writer, you are truly hilarious!!! (we’re good here)

  20. She has more talent than you give her credit for. She actually is very smart and has a very nice voice. She just has not really found her genre yet.

  21. ohh dragon breath she probably poisoned so many front rows with her breath no wonder not much people r coming to her shows.

  22. Idon’t think that when people grow up, they will become morebroad-minded and can accept everything. Conversely, I think it’s aselecting process, knowing what’s the most important and what’s theleast. And then be a simple man

  23. Vinnie the Chin

    I like how she looks. If I want chicken bones I’d eat KFC.

  24. educated person

    It actually takes 20 minutes of sitting in Listerine to kill most germs in the mouth (commercials lie…no way!). The reason why we brush is because one of the only effective methods of dealing with them is to scrape them off the teeth and gums.

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  26. justifiable

    #20 No, she actually is not. Chicken of the sea and buffalo wings aside, this is someone who literally lacks the brainpower to retain the lyrics to what she’s supposed to be singing, which puts her pretty much in the dull-normal range. Her voice is unremarkable outside of your average church choir.

    And the reason she hasn’t found her “genre” yet (and FYI, “niche” is the word you’re looking for) is because this isn’t the 1950′s any more and they’ve, thankfully, stopped churning out leaden B-actor cheesecake costume epics. She’s too Christian for porn and her acting is too sub-par for anything else. There’s a reason her ripoffs of “Private Benjamin” and other films have gone direct to DVD – they’re painful to watch.

    Sorry to pop that that nice little fantasy bubble you live in, but get a fucking clue.

  27. captain america

    that this enormous STUPID & DUMB person is a celeb in the united states tells us all we wanna know.
    …………………………………ANY MORE QUESTIONS?

  28. bmose

    She needs to back on the Papa Joe spermcicle diet so she can fit into those Daisy Dukes.

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  31. Nero

    Did John Mayer teach her these nasty habits!?

  32. Gando

    I might hope she’d wipe her ass? Wait,she doesn’t!?

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  39. I bet its also one of those texts, what he liked to sing, which puts it almost boring, normal

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