Jessica Simpson defies logic, tops country charts

September 18th, 2008 // 69 Comments

Despite enraging country music fans with her breasts at the Grand Ole Opry and giving horrible ass performances, Jessica Simpson’s new album Do You Know debuted at the top of Billboard’s country charts, according to Us Magazine:

The album — which sold 65,000 copies since coming out last week — ranked No. 4 on the Billboard Top 200.
Simpson’s first single, “Come on Over,” hit No. 18 on the Hot Country Songs list last month.

Whoa whoa whoa. People paid money for a Jessica Simpson CD? My fortune cookie was right: We are a nation of retards. On that note, congratulations to John McCain and Sarah Palin. You’ve got this thing in the bag!

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. ph245

    wow, look at her lovely big tits.

  2. No, it’s not possible. She’s no Dolly Parton.

  3. ph245

    wow, look at her lovely big tits

  4. ph245

    wow, look at her lovely big tits

  5. John McCain and Sarah Palin will have it in the bag once the rest of America wakes up

  6. John McCain and Sarah Palin will have it in the bag once the rest of America wakes up

  7. it's me Fuckers!

    JS is really nice eye candy. Something for guys and some gals to beat off to. But I just can’t get past the whole stupidity thing with her. But then again, there are people out there willing to pay to see this stupid cunt and to pay to hear her CD. Stupid breeds stupid.

  8. mimi

    Why are you people so STUPID?

  9. Slut

    I think people are buying the CD because it’s like a trainwreck….You know it’s bad, but can’t help but look

  10. Andriulli

    PLEASE she prob sold less than half of that number, her label bought all the rest. This sort of thing will give the album longer shelf life and make more than it cost them to do. People love buying a #1 album, esp the indecisive one.

  11. Andriulli

    PLEASE she prob sold less than half of that number, her label bought all the rest. This sort of thing will give the album longer shelf life and make more than it cost them to do. People love buying a #1 album, esp the indecisive one.

  12. Andriulli

    PLEASE she prob sold less than half of that number, her label bought all the rest. This sort of thing will give the album longer shelf life and make more than it cost them to do. People love buying a #1 album, esp the indecisive one.

  13. wwwukeruker

    I usually don’t agree with you but this time you got it right. Retards voted twice for Bush-Cheney and McCain-Palin can count on their votes to get in the White House and send our species to join the dinosaurs. Oops! That’s right Palin says its ‘no such thing as dinosaurs.’ And in a million years Fundamentalist cockroaches will deny humans and mammals ever existed too.

  14. weeeehaa

    blame it on the hicks!!!!

  15. James

    Um, country music listeners LIKE disaster, right? “You picked a fine time to leave me Lu-ceeeeeeel”

  16. FACE

    Crackers who listen to country music are stupid anyway. The same ones booing her went to WalMart and bought her CD to play in their pickups. Meanwhile, I would bust Tony Romo in the head and fock the shit out of her.

  17. britney's weave

    she looks nice here. i hate her, though. she’s no carrie underwood.

  18. wanks

    this is probably the best that ive seen her look in a while..so hot! love dem titties!

  19. Steve

    Get on the winning side.

  20. Larry the Satellite Dish Guy

    Nigger and wiggers who listen to crap music are retards.

  21. friendlyfires

    YEah, we got plenty of them there retards in this neighborhood. They think McCain is liberal and are planning to bump him off so Palin can fire and hang them Demokrats and make country safe for God and Jesus to return and start the Rapture already.

    I gotta’ move to new country.

  22. VN

    Yeah, ‘teh hell wit dem demmycrats!

    Oh Lord… aren’t we glad the south is so big… and fat… and retarded. Superficial writer got it right this time. We best get ready to hail McCain.

  23. ApacheRose

    Jesus, ‘Fish dude, can you cut the fucking political commentary already? Some of us come to sites like this to get AWAY from the constant election bullshit and see some dirt one egotistical assholes who DON’T MATTER.

    I guess I’ll be back after November. Or not.

  24. Ted from LA

    Nothing surprises me coming from a country who voted George W. Bush as president, not once, but twice. At least the economy is strong. I know that because Bush just said so on national TV in his 36 second speech on the state of the economy.

  25. i’ll bet you couldn’t even fit dental floss between her knockers

  26. ApacheRose

    one/on. Whatever.

  27. Someone who knows better

    Oh god leave the poor girl alone! I’m glad that shes finally doing well. I’ve met her before and she’s really nice and not dumb. I mean she’s not my favourite person in the world but she’s still a human being. And for all you fuckers out there writing nasty things, how many of you have achieved, experience and endured as much as she has? At least she’s giving it a go. Stop being so nasty.

  28. crabby old guy

    Okay – Billboard is sales based (and really only on PROJECTED sales, i.e., how many units were shipped out to stores). Once all those CDs are shipped BACK to the label – or relagated to the blow out rack (speaking of “rack”…but I digress) – then she will fall back into the failure that her career is.

    As a singer, much like as an “actress”, she has great tits. Just show ‘em and get this long national nightmare behind us.

  29. justin

    Fuck you cocksucker!!! The only retards are the one’s voting for that ass hat Obama and Mr. Handicap Biden!

  30. dude

    Come on dammit, MORE ASS SHOTS! Jessica has such a beautiful rump, at least a couple full on butt shots please every time you post. Yeah her rack and face rock but so does that turd cutter!!!!!

  31. Only poor and ignorant people will vote for rockin obama the new messiah. He not only wants to raise your taxes, but redistribute the wealth. All right! More incentive to be a lazy fucking liberal.

  32. wanna

    that macain palin comment was your best ever, they do have it in the bag.

  33. guest1234567

    Let’s put this in perspective. Jessica Simpson’s album is number 4 on the billboard ratings at 65,000.

    Skipping a head a little, somebody named Young Jeezy sold just 90,000 copies.

    The number one album is Metallica’s “Death Magnetic.” It went on sale on FRIDAY and sold 525,000. That is the proverbial blowout by a bunch of 40 plus year old rockers!

    So at least we know that the world isn’t coming to an end because JS sold a couple of records.

    And anyway, the world is going to end on Dec 21, 2012.

  34. renee

    writer dont bring up politics please…..i guess ur more trusting 2 aka ” i used to b musslim” i hope ur right

  35. renee

    writer dont bring up politics please…..i guess ur more trusting 2 aka ” i used to b musslim” i hope ur right

  36. guest1234567

    And to the ignorant who think Obama wants to raise taxes, please go to factcheck.org and find out who the real liars are. My god folks, get your facts straight or don’t vote.

  37. Justin

    She’s got the legs of a 70 year old woman. Gross.

  38. JENNIFER

    Everyone on here is as jealous as they come .. everyone likes to diss Jessica Simpson because she is so beautiful and they aren’t!! SHE IS GORGEOUS face the fact , and she can SING beautifully! No she isn’t a YOUNG JEEZY thug ,or 40 years of being in a band but to sell that many records by switching over to COUNTRY is amazing! She has the greatest fans who stick by her… obviously everyone has an opinion but the Press likes to give her a hard time by yet earning money off her … pathetic~ GO JESS!!!

  39. minerva

    ????????

  40. Mia

    I am no fan of Jessica but this dress looks great on her.

  41. daddy'sapedophile

    You know Papa Joe went out & bought all them albums.

  42. @ 25

    BYE BYE APACHE ROSE! Don’t let the superfishdoor hit your superfatass on the way out!

  43. Vince Lombardi

    First two thoughts that hit me:

    1) “Now THAT is one attractive dress.”

    2) “She’s getting big.”

  44. pat

    Until 1991 or so, sales figures were based on what record companies shipped to stores , whether a customer bought them or not. But then they started using Soundscan instead, which counts the actual purchases by customers at the stores. And nowadays they try to include online sales (by customers) and album downloads.

  45. Anonymous

    Jennifer……..kindly poke yourself in the eye with a very sharp stick.

    The world thanks you in advance.

  46. mafme

    It’s a surprise that people who like country music like shitty music?

  47. Don'tPanic

    Actually we didn’t elect Bush twice. He didn’t win the first election.

    Obama will only raise taxes on those making more than 600k a year so if that applies to any of you hillbillies then by all means vote McCain. I’ll be voting for Obama who is offering three times the tax cut to the middle class.

    And yes he is letting the Bush tax cuts expire. That comes as good news to those of us who don’t enjoy a crippling national debt that our great-grandkids will have to pay off.

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