Jessica Simpson challenges Victoria Beckham to tan off

September 14th, 2006 // 73 Comments
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Comments (73)

  1. CooterPunch | September 14, 2006 at 9:12 am

    Bitch looks like an orange troll.

    Reply
  2. Angry Ferret Jones | September 14, 2006 at 9:12 am

    FIRST BITCHES

    Reply
  3. Angry Ferret Jones | September 14, 2006 at 9:12 am

    SHIT. SECOND – BITCHES. Hehe.

    Reply
  4. StanGable | September 14, 2006 at 9:14 am

    nothing better than narcissistic celebs going downhill. she looks like a dude.

    Reply
  5. lohanjob | September 14, 2006 at 9:14 am

    all these celebrities hire ‘professional tanners’ and this is what they come out looking like. someone should be fired.

    Reply
  6. Angry Ferret Jones | September 14, 2006 at 9:16 am

    That first picture makes you wonder just how many people it takes to get this nucklehead in to a car.

    Can you find:

    1) Sleeping security Guard
    2) Vern (from Vern Goes to Camp)
    3) A man with the smallest flashlight in the world
    4) A chick in white who appears to be 100 times hotter than Simpson

    Reply
  7. CelebSlam.com | September 14, 2006 at 9:16 am

    Overtanning is the new gay.

    http://www.celebslam.com

    Reply
  8. cv | September 14, 2006 at 9:17 am

    Mystic Tan isn’t ideal for everyone. She should dial it down or get custom airbrushing with a lighter color that more closely matches her natural skin tone. She can afford it.

    Reply
  9. jrzmommy | September 14, 2006 at 9:23 am

    The Butterscotch Philly.

    Reply
  10. jane's eyre | September 14, 2006 at 9:25 am

    She looks like a Hanson in the last picture. And would someone explain to me what she’s wearing?

    Reply
  11. enfilade | September 14, 2006 at 9:27 am

    The first to get cancer wins!

    http://www.wehateeverybody.com/

    Reply
  12. SpecialAgentWind | September 14, 2006 at 9:27 am

    Looks like she got another “just felt weird” lip injection too.
    Soo TEAM NICK

    Reply
  13. JoannieBalonie | September 14, 2006 at 9:30 am

    Team Nick indeed……

    Reply
  14. bigponie | September 14, 2006 at 9:30 am

    orange is the in thing this season, pretty soon I’ll mistake her for a pumpkin, carve me an evil face and turn her into a jack-o-lantern.

    Reply
  15. jrzmommy | September 14, 2006 at 9:34 am

    Orange is the new alabaster.

    Reply
  16. combustion8 | September 14, 2006 at 9:36 am

    It was nice of her to give to crack heads a ride.

    Reply
  17. combustion8 | September 14, 2006 at 9:39 am

    *two

    Reply
  18. Angry Ferret Jones | September 14, 2006 at 9:40 am

    She’s like a carrot with tits.

    I can just hear Mel Gibon saying “Hey, Carrot Tits! Want a drink? You’re not a Jew are you? OH, look what the Jews did to your pants!”

    Reply
  19. Angry Ferret Jones | September 14, 2006 at 9:41 am

    Gibon – Gibson. I wore out my “S” key typing “Sarah Jean” 1,000,000 times.

    Reply
  20. carrie bradshaw | September 14, 2006 at 9:46 am

    Wow, I had those exact same jeans back in 1988 when it was “cool” to wear them ripped like that.

    Reply
  21. Jacq | September 14, 2006 at 9:52 am

    Does she KNOW what she looks like? She could be the next spokesperson for Fruit of the Loom – except that endorsement deals normally end with her being sued.

    Reply
  22. Tracie | September 14, 2006 at 9:54 am

    Horrible makeup, horrible hair, horrible “tan”, horrible clothes, horrible “talent”, but when are we going to stop caring about it? Guess it’s like watching a train wreck, you just can’t look away…

    Reply
  23. RichPort | September 14, 2006 at 10:00 am

    I think Joe Simpson has been ODing on the orange juice and cinnamon toast, plus he apparently cums in buckets. I could of sworn she looked a bit red last week, when he was on that strawberry/ goat’s blood diet.

    Reply
  24. James | September 14, 2006 at 10:01 am

    She almost looks like a crack addict in that first picture.

    Reply
  25. edb87 | September 14, 2006 at 10:03 am

    Jess looks horrible. I echo #24, she’ll be the next Whitney.

    http://www.edquartersaudio.com

    Reply
  26. Jacq | September 14, 2006 at 10:05 am

    Her dad probably has her convinced that she’ll “turn normal color” again if he stares at her completely nude for at least two hours a day. Of course, followed by two hours of pulling his pud.

    Reply
  27. sweety | September 14, 2006 at 10:14 am

    It looks like she had lip collagen overload.

    Again.

    Reply
  28. HolisticWisdomcom | September 14, 2006 at 10:17 am

    I can just see the staff after celebs get a spray on tan… “Oh honey, you look fabulous… just gorgeous! You have a great day, bye now!”

    Pause as they leave…

    “Muhahahahaha! It worked! I think she bought it!”

    What are these celebs thinking?

    Although, after jesting, I do feel we should be careful not to discriminate against someone for their skin color, even when they are orange.

    http://www.holisticwisdom.com

    Reply
  29. Nik | September 14, 2006 at 10:22 am

    Wow…. the more and more I read this site, the more I’m assured that Jessica Simpson is devolving. Maybe when Nick left her he took the antidote that was supposed to keep her human but…. DAMN. She’s one celebrity I can look at and feel better about the way I look. As are most of the gems on here.

    Reply
  30. polypam | September 14, 2006 at 10:26 am

    I just saw her on Leno last week and she was spewing some garbage about how she had gotten lip injections last year and hated them. I guess she wanted to give the fish face look one more try because she definitely looks as if she’s been hitting the plastic surgeon’s office again. Way to stick to your guns, ol’ Jess!

    Reply
  31. Madrid Marriott | September 14, 2006 at 10:26 am

    Every celebrity should have a sleeping Asian Hasidic security guard in their entourage. Every single one.

    Reply
  32. Nik | September 14, 2006 at 10:29 am

    Now that I look at it again, I can safely say there’s not one positive thing about the way she looks. Not. One.

    Reply
  33. wendy718 | September 14, 2006 at 10:48 am

    WHATS ALL THIS NONSENSE ABOUT BEING FIRST?

    Reply
  34. jillybean | September 14, 2006 at 10:59 am

    God, she looks rougher everyday.

    Reply
  35. LL | September 14, 2006 at 11:13 am

    Jessica Simpson used to be pretty. WTF happened to her? Damn, when you get divorced, you’re supposed to get hotter ’cause you lost 180 lbs. of ugly fat or whatever, but it’s like Nick whatshisface had some sort of magic that made her beautiful and now that he’s gone the spell is broken and she looks like an orange troll. Why do white bitches make themselves orange? It’s not just lighting, either. They are ORANGE. Just STOP IT. It’s not attractive. Pale is better than orange. Embrace your destiny, Jessica. But please, get your roots done, because you look like a truck stop hooker.

    Reply
  36. Spindoc | September 14, 2006 at 11:14 am

    The thing that is so stupid, all you need to be, is “Not Pasty”

    Thats it, just a nice color that says “I was out in the sun for about 10 min. a day for the last three days. Just enough so you don’t look like a ghost. Michelle Pfiefer does that right. This color just looks stupid, it looks like she had a mud bath and forgot to shower after. Either that or Steve O and Bam Margera had diarrah and both crapped on her after sex.

    Reply
  37. Madrid Marriott | September 14, 2006 at 11:16 am

    # 35 – dude, chill out. She IS embracing her destiny. (I.e., she *IS* a truck stop hooker).

    Reply
  38. PunjabPete | September 14, 2006 at 11:25 am

    How high and/or drunk culd she possible be in that third pic?

    Anyone else notice how the passengers in pic 2 look like they are somewhat concerned about what they see in front of them… Yet Jess looks like she is trying to remember if she turned of her curling iron? Who would ride with this idiot?

    Reply
  39. PunjabPete | September 14, 2006 at 11:26 am

    Me no spelly today…. COULD… Damn….

    Reply
  40. commissioner | September 14, 2006 at 11:48 am

    Why is she with Jack White and Matthew Modine?

    Reply
  41. krisdylee | September 14, 2006 at 12:15 pm

    All’s I can say is
    HAGGARD.

    Reply
  42. UNWASHEDMASSES | September 14, 2006 at 12:23 pm

    She’s fucking Carrot Top on the sly, his vitamin C jizz injections are turning her skin orange. He did the same thing to Bea Arthur a couple of years back.

    Reply
  43. Johnson | September 14, 2006 at 12:42 pm

    She’s clearly driving drunk and/or high. Why is this bitch not in jail?

    Reply
  44. jayden | September 14, 2006 at 12:43 pm

    lol…she looks like an orange drag queen. Who finds this girl attractive???? Nasty

    Reply
  45. Italian Stallion | September 14, 2006 at 12:46 pm

    Tropicunta Orange Juice

    Reply
  46. Sheva | September 14, 2006 at 12:57 pm

    And here I thought cheezos were only for eating.
    Take a handful, smash in hand, rub all over face.

    Reply
  47. Sheva | September 14, 2006 at 12:58 pm

    Okay first I blamed it on cheetos. Unfair. After looking at the last photo, it’s clear this chick has been hitting the crystal meth.

    Hard.

    Reply
  48. ch474 | September 14, 2006 at 1:06 pm

    The coke bags under her eyes are about the same size as the fun bags on her chest. Nice to see that she wore holes in her jeans kneeling in front of the passengers in her car. I’d rather meet the smokin’ hottie behind her on the stairs than throw a bag over her head and do her while wearing a hazmat suit (so you don’t get any “residue”). Apparently that doesn’t bother Daddy though.

    Reply
  49. reesestet | September 14, 2006 at 1:19 pm

    OJ SIMPSON!!!!

    Reply
  50. thesarahficial | September 14, 2006 at 1:30 pm

    she used to be so pretty that i envied her…now she just looks homeless and depressed……and orange.

    Reply

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