Jessica Simpson doesn’t even realize

August 11th, 2009 // 51 Comments

Jessica Simpson arrived in Japan over the weekend just in time for a massive earthquake. From her Twitter:

thought i was hallucinating durning a 6.6 earthquake in japan. i have never felt anything like this in my life. laying in bed watching cnn.
about 20 hours ago from web

Jessica Simpson steps on Japanese soil, and an earthquake happens.


Seriously, I don’t even want to make a joke here. It’d be like asking Britney Spears to tie her shoes. But I will point out Jessica wrote “durning.” Ha! What an idot.

Photos: WENN

  1. Tim

    Funny how the Richter scale registered higher than her IQ.

  2. freaky

    ( pic.1#) a preview of the old toothless jessica?

  3. timjack

    Nice to see the bodyguard having a sly grope…

  4. Jill

    “Durning”? The oxycontin has taken over…

  5. jester

    God she is so stupid. I would do so many horrible things to her.

  6. Hammertime

    “i have never felt anything like this in my life lying in bed…”

    That’s because you’re always going out with hunks like Nick and that football guy Romo. You need to start giving nerds who post on TheSuperficial a chance…

  7. Jake

    Fat. Stupid. Hillbilly. Fuck her NOW, before she becomes a fatter, more stupid hillbilly. Rednecks do not age well.

  8. Joe the Plumber

    “thought i was hallucinating during a 6.6 earthquake in japan. i have never felt anything like this in my life”
    -That’s ’cause nice clean guys like Nick and Tony (papa Joe?) don’t know how to lay pipe the blue collar dirty way.

  9. PJ

    Like she was really watching cnn.

  10. PJ

    Like she was really watching cnn.

  11. jumpin_j

    Is she developing a man-chin? I mean losing weight is supposed to make you look better. WTF here?

  12. jester

    She thought cnn was the cartoons now network.

  13. frank the dolphin

    I would still hit that. Twice.

  14. Superbiggerevil

    Almost as big a waste of oxygen as Paris and Kim, but getting close.

  15. Luana

    And you wrote “idot”. Hahaha!

  16. Hank

    Man chin. Man arms. Man thighs. Beer gut.

    If it weren’t for the those luscious, fatty cans, she’d be a guy.

  17. kris

    She may be dumb as a rock but I would still tap that ass!!!

  18. Deacon Jones

    Is it wrong that I get an erection from seeing women with big breasts cry?

    There must be some kind of fetish site for it…..hmmm

  19. Charee Chan

    Hey raydie what you think you come here wake up gozirra fahted. You no come back hrer, you no welcome hrer. Get you big cans outta my city, wait maybe before you go show some side boob preese.

  20. Ro

    You spelled “idioit” wrong you stoopid hed.

  21. lol as much as i love you man, i hope you realized that you typed “idot”

  22. Danklin

    Dude she is not aging welll judging from that first pic

  23. misterfister

    Her box smells like a cheese plate that has gone bad….

  24. @6 “You need to start giving nerds who post on TheSuperficial a chance…”..

    ..yeah if you saw the types of posts from the people here who here who have such an anal fixation then I’m sure you can imagine the percentage of who really has a chance with her. We would all have a better chance with a crackhead who has most of her teeth missing with tits that hang below her gut.

    As for Jessica…nothing surprises me anymore with this broad, esp the fucking tuna confusion..

  25. keijo


  26. Erica

    Ugly brown eyes.

  27. Oliver Chester The Molester Lester

    Proof she’s never had sex with me. I’d rock her so hard her boobs would sway like Mt. Everest.

  28. Joane

    What are those things in her hair in the first pic? Is that to attach hair?

  29. mafme

    Duckface = not hot.

  30. I done believe any Kack can withstand the power of the natural disaster her knockers can cause, she probably was doing jumping jacks!

  31. Will you bitches stop with the man chin already? you ever seen people with no chins? theyre hideous!!!

  32. Tom

    Man chin. Shit brown, dead eyes. Gaping, retard open mouth. Bulging gut. Fat arms. Hair bleached to death.

    Teeth are nice. And her breasts are large – but definitely not toned. The kind that flop to the side when she’s own her back.

  33. bUZZTOE

    Was it the mom jeans or the weight that caused that quake? Yeah she thought CNN was QVC…thicker than pig shit I’d say…

  34. Darth

    It would be hard job but i hope she got the crap shaked outta her.

  35. Nature

    Did i wake some people?

  36. Tom K

    Tony Romeo got out of that sinking ship just in time. She is going downhill add her to the this of “USED” to be hot celebrities….Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Tara Reid. lol

  37. Let's see the cans

    the clock is running out for her to show her natural giants….show them already for Christ’s sake………it’s all you’ve got Jessica

  38. sva1994

    I love how the Superficial laughs at Simpson and calls her an idiot for misspelling a word. Yeah, ain’t that hilarious, Supe? Some people are just retards.

  39. Wow. So no one caught that “idot” was a joke?

    Smart crowd. Eat the puddin’ pops.

  40. Mr. Anon

    This is quite funny. The comments are proof that Americans don’t get subtle sarcasm and irony.

    Fish wrote idiot like that on purpose.


  41. Keith

    She looks like a man in a blonde wig in pic #2 (except for those enormous milk bags, which look distinctly feminine, and should be transplanted onto someone less idiotic).

  42. suck my dick

    She looks very plain without make-up. Ewwww

  43. First pic looks like Janis Joplin.

  44. Feckless

    I bet Britney understands the word “durning” – she’s smart enough to study for a roll.

  45. FooGooMaRooCoo

    What a stupid cunt.

  46. Makeup

    It looks like someone forgot to put on their beauty mask.

  47. budah

    she was doomed the moment she had a reality show about her and husband number 1 too bad she can’t count that high.

  48. @ 40

    I agree. (For the record I am British and I got it right away)

    Clearly the funniest thing was that the idot part was done on purpose. It was a joke, and you jackasses not only didn’t get it (it was imo obvious), but actually tried to call him out on it. lol…

  49. Matt

    She is the dumbest looking chick I have every seen. I’ll bet she just sit around and let every one else think for her.

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