Just days after messing up the lyrics in her Dolly Parton tribute, Jessica Simpson is reportedly having trouble with her lines on the set of Blonde Ambition and had to get an earpiece so a crew member could read her her lines. A source on the Louisiana set says:
“After the seventh take on one shot, the director hid a microphone in her ear so a crew member could feed her lines,” a source told the tab. “Everyone was embarrassed for her, but she laughed it off, saying ‘I’m sorry, everyone. I’m sorry.’” Co-star Luke Wilson was sympathetic, reports the source, and “patted [Simpson] on the back and told her it would be okay.”
But it’s not okay, is it, Jessica? Soon everybody’s gonna realize you never learned to read and that you didn’t really attend Princeton like you’ve been telling everybody. And inside the fake cover of that book you’re always looking at? Pictures of butterflies. Oh woe is you, Jessica. Woe is you.
Wildhoney | December 12, 2006 at 1:52 pm
Marvellous.
griffmills | December 12, 2006 at 1:53 pm
I’ll take some of that ‘tang
raquel | December 12, 2006 at 1:56 pm
she’s so sweet! i’m sure she’ll do just fine. hang in there, jess!!!
86 | December 12, 2006 at 1:57 pm
Thats what you get for dumping Nick!!!
BarbadoSlim | December 12, 2006 at 1:57 pm
Ah, looks like this moron is spent, please discard spent moron into the waste receptacle provided for your convenience and thank you for flying Superfish!
Gaby | December 12, 2006 at 1:57 pm
poor jess. she needs a friend. i can’t imagine loosing my virginity to someone, and marrying them… being with them for 2 or 3 years, then just divorcing. ah. as much as we like to poke fun, this girl is hurting.
theblemish.com | December 12, 2006 at 2:01 pm
I used to think all she had going for her was her voice, but that’s not the case. She doesn’t even have brains as back up. How sad.
http://theblemish.com
Boogie Monster | December 12, 2006 at 2:02 pm
Well I
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | December 12, 2006 at 2:08 pm
I’d like to remember her at her best – spinning around naked with a bag on her head surrounded by hobos who would jerk off in their hand and throw it at her. That was a Christmas I’ll never forget…
ThePinkSuperhero | December 12, 2006 at 2:10 pm
A microphone in her ear? Why? To listen to the lines rattling around in her brain?
HollywoodSnark | December 12, 2006 at 2:12 pm
yeah, well it’s not like anyone really expects her to do anything more than lip synch and look hot….
http://hollywoodsnark.com
EJ | December 12, 2006 at 2:13 pm
I never thought I’d say it, but I actually feel a tiny twinge of pity for this girl.
Yes, she’s stupid and vaccuous. Yes, she has way more money and attention than she deserves. Yes, she’s shamelessly got by on bottle-blondiness and big boobs. Yes, her job description is basically to be as stupid and slutty-looking as possible. And, yes, her performance in the Dukes of Hazzard was a crime against humanity.
Still, after all is said and done, I do feel bad making fun of retarded people who’ve been recently dumped for Jessica Biel or whoever skank-face is chasing right now.
BarbadoSlim | December 12, 2006 at 2:15 pm
Poor Jess nothing, this should be rather simple Jess, GO. AWAY.
Look,she got way more than the five minutes that were alloted to her, she made some money. We don’t need to keep seeing her fucking face. With the sliver of dignity she MIGHT have left she can get herself an education and repair some of the damage she has done to America’s reputation.
CelebSlam.com | December 12, 2006 at 2:16 pm
At least she remembered to dress herself
http://www.celebslam.com
Pointandlaugh | December 12, 2006 at 2:24 pm
Why did she and Nick split? anyone know? She has an incredible body……that’d be hard for any man to leave. No matter HOW dumb that chick is.
Guess it just goes to prove the old adage: No matter how HOT a broad is, there is always some guy who is sick of her shit.
/Well, I for one am NOT yet sick of your shit, Jessica! (whispers) “call me!”
nychag | December 12, 2006 at 2:25 pm
the world will soon discover what a FRAUD you are. loser.
Giggles | December 12, 2006 at 2:29 pm
Ah yes….the gig is up Jessica. Time to go home. You fooled everyone for a little while.
Sloppyseconds | December 12, 2006 at 2:36 pm
I thought she was good at learning lines. “Yes Nick, I will swallow all that love jizz because I’m such a bad, bad girl. Daddy said so.”
She did pretty good with that, last I heard.
wedgeone | December 12, 2006 at 2:43 pm
#10 – Exactly! Could someone inform the “source” that microphones don’t broadcast sound, they collect sound? That would have been an “in-ear monitor” she was using. The person on the other end reading the lines had the “microphone”.
#8 – wasn’t it “chicken and buffalo”, not “chicken & fish”?
BTW – ALL FORMS OF “LOSE” HAVE ONE “O” PEOPLE! The next person who puts two “o”s in the flipping word gets fisted anally without lube. You’re driving me crazy!
Spindoc | December 12, 2006 at 2:44 pm
Hmm, I wonder just what changed Luke’s mind? Remember THIS quote from somebody in his camp?
And Jeannette Walls reports that just last week, she told Jimmy Kimmel,
enfilade | December 12, 2006 at 2:56 pm
She’s still dumb, not a shock.
http://www.scandalsnappers.com/
NicotineEyePatch | December 12, 2006 at 3:16 pm
Quel surprize, someone in Hollywood can’t act for shit and survives solely on their looks. Somebody should tell her when she forgets her lines that they’re in the bathroom on the back of the toilet.
#19, Jessica Simpson spells ‘lose’ that way. Please get video footage of the lubeless anal fisting she has coming to her.
JuniorLeaguer | December 12, 2006 at 3:48 pm
la la la, working nine to uh, hum la uh oops , so nervous la la hee hee……..
techclerk | December 12, 2006 at 4:11 pm
” Blonde Ambition “????????????
Casting was perfect, I would say, if she was a real blonde.
eXtasyStef | December 12, 2006 at 4:14 pm
Applauding #19. Fist that thing.
It’s almost impossible to hate her anymore. It’s like kicking a puppy. A cute, fluffy golden retriever.
But then I think of her portrayal of Daisy Duke, and all is okay again.
Sorry, Ms. Bach.
techclerk | December 12, 2006 at 4:17 pm
#19
That was funny. Jessica couldn’t remember her lines so they put a microphone in her ear. LOL!
Maybe they needed the sounds of cricketts chirping.
Fruity_Metcalfe | December 12, 2006 at 4:18 pm
Of course she can’t read. That was obvious on “Newlyweds”. Nick gave her an anniversary card, which she pretended to read, then asked him a bunch of questions about it. He essentially had to go back over it with her, reading and explaining it as he went. This is beyond a reading comprehension problem, she cannot even decode words.
Keep on home schooling you freaky stage parent assholes! I wish someone would leak some of Jessica’s emails and text messages to the press. She’d undoubtedly make Lindsay Lohan look like Dorothy Parker.
techclerk | December 12, 2006 at 4:20 pm
Chicken of the sea, is it tuna or chicken?
Good question, Jess. Ever hear of seahorses, seacows or sealions? “Chicken of the sea” is seachicken meat.
DrunkBlogger | December 12, 2006 at 4:23 pm
Of course it’s ok…as long as they make money on the film. If not, she can get on a boat with Britney Spears and Tara Reid.
youtuberoast.com
BarbadoSlim | December 12, 2006 at 4:43 pm
#25 when my golden retriever read your post she was all like, “foo’ you better recognize” and she snapped her paws from side to side.
true story
and yes I do a lot drugs so that might not have happened….that way.
Grope For Luna | December 12, 2006 at 5:36 pm
Give her a break. She’s been up all night playing stinkfinger with daddy.
blogista | December 12, 2006 at 5:45 pm
Obviously her brain has been exposed to too much mercury from eating all those chickens from the sea.
okay.... | December 12, 2006 at 6:07 pm
but her momma said she has a genius IQ…….
rmol100 | December 12, 2006 at 6:13 pm
Just my kind of girl, dumb blonde with big boobs
yes i’ll still hit that
rmol100 | December 12, 2006 at 6:14 pm
Just my kind of girl, dumb blonde with big boobs
yes i’ll still hit that
HolisticWisdomcom | December 12, 2006 at 6:33 pm
Great, more dumb blonde jokes from this… sometimes I think I might just dye my hair.
http://www.holisticwisdom.com
jFp | December 12, 2006 at 7:10 pm
Stupid is as stupid does……
Boogie Monster | December 12, 2006 at 8:02 pm
# 19 – No no no no… She thought buffalos had wings! It was the tuna she was confused with cos she said “i know it has a picture of a fish on the can but it tastes like chicken” Remember???
supanigga | December 12, 2006 at 9:42 pm
dumb bitch.
all these blonds just making themselves look dumber than dumb
libtard | December 12, 2006 at 10:16 pm
You know why there are so many fucking blonde jokes?
Because brunettes have nothing better to do on Friday nights than make them up.
*redhead*
libtard | December 12, 2006 at 10:17 pm
Oh, and supanigga….. I’ll take the soup, please.
www.rumorficial.com | December 13, 2006 at 12:32 am
too much alcohol can hurt people
http://www.rumorficial.com
the boy | December 13, 2006 at 4:11 am
Stupid people need to stop becoming so fucking rich and famous. This world is fucked.
fame is funny | December 13, 2006 at 4:16 am
#40
How do you know when a redhead has been using a computer?
There’s a hammer embedded in the monitor.
What is the difference between dating a redhead and putting your hand into a
blender?
You’ve got a 50/50 chance the blender isn’t on.
MrSemprini | December 13, 2006 at 4:34 am
45th!
RichPort | December 13, 2006 at 5:48 am
Jessica Simpson reminds me of a spent condom: annoying, necessary, full of splooge and destined to be thrown on a hotel room floor.
camabron | December 13, 2006 at 6:44 am
This dumb biatch ought to stick to just showing her tits and nothing more.
TaterFace | December 13, 2006 at 6:55 am
Throw me the ball George, throw me the ball.
jc | December 13, 2006 at 7:21 am
She would have been better off becoming a stripper.
wedgeone | December 13, 2006 at 7:22 am
#38 – thx for setting me straight. I knew about the whole “buffalo” debacle, but I must have been passed out during the “chicken vs. tuna” incident. I cannot believe it!
Man – can the people who estimated the IQ’s of the American Presidents a while back run their analysis on this bitch – she’s got to be learning disabled.
Or a Boston Fern (no offense intended to Boston Ferns).
Plz put her in line for the mandatory sterilization procedure right after Paris.