Jessica Simpson really can’t go back to country now

October 27th, 2009 // 81 Comments

Here’s Jessica Simpson in India today where she’s filming her new reality show “The Price of Beauty.” She’s also sporting a bindi which is the final nail in the coffin for her country music career because there are two things you don’t do in that genre: Be a minority or look like a terrorist. Now, I know what you’re thinking: India had absolutely nothing to do with 9/11, and you’re absolutely right. However, you’re employing things like book smarts and facts which, according to southern law, means Alan Jackson has the right to throw copies of the King James at your face until you drink a two-liter of Mountain Dew. Them’s the rules.

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. chris

    first,

    I like the design on the forehead. Gives me a good spot to aim when blowing by wad. extra points to hit the bullseye

  2. joe

    Se-cunt

  3. kaylia

    get her out of my country NOW

  4. So Right

    Jessica is a nice girl and I like her, BUT, she’ so dumb it frustrates me. I heard she has no hobbies, no life of her own, no interests at all. She just sits there…waiting for her “prince” to come. And when someone comes along, she smothers them with her inability to do anything else but cling to them. UGH! Shape up girl!

  5. Hi Jessica Simpson ” Welcome To India”..I am Definitely sure,you will go back with Love,Culture ,respect and with Grown fans list like I am added my self now !

    Love You

  6. anonomouth

    Looking at her lips, I think she must have forgotten to pack her acyclovir for her trip.

  7. joe blow

    Fuck you, Superficial, you fucking cocksucker.

    Sincerely,

    The Southern United States.

  8. Shep

    haha Southern people are stupid and ignorant, sooooooo true. Oh well who would join the military to fight the corrupt wars if it weren’t for southerners though…. exactly.

  9. Tim

    She looking fatter than ever. Hillbilly bait.

  10. YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME

    @8: Thanks for proving Fish’s point you retarded cousin-fucker. Come up here to Pennsylvania and say that shit. Almost all our boys are overseas fighting their asses off so fuck your dumb secessionist ass for dare saying only the south is in the military. Shows how goddamn ignorant you people are.

  11. Kimmy

    That MAN CHIN in pic #5 is out of control!!! She’s falling apart FAST.

    Fat, short, man chin, dead low IQ eyes, bleach burns on scalp = FAIL

  12. ******Krazy Hot Kelli*******

    If you Pennzylvania and zouthern boyz were to zee me it would ztart another civil war! (Not that I would take anyone from the zouth though)

  13. frankinSloth

    *sigh* more senseless and horribly inaccurate stereotypes of the South…
    Civil War is over… not like that was 140 years ago or anything.

  14. On behalf of my right-wing bretheren, I’d like to point out that you can be a minority and have a really good career in Country Music – Charlie Pride and Darius Rucker have both had really solid country music careers. Ray Charles started out in country bands, and has a great country album. Raul Malo of the Maverics is Cuban, there’s lots of Hispanic country stars, and there’s no shortage of country musicians who are part Indian – Johnny Cash for instance.

    Country fans will give anyone a shot, so long as they’re good at what they do, and while that may not have always been the case (I honestly don’t know), it seems like now it’s more a case of some minority groups not wanting to play country more than it is country fans being racist.

    I know, I know, it’s just a snarky joke on a site that specialzes in snarky jokes, but it needed to be said.

  15. Face it, she's hot

    Look, it’s clear she isn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer. She has a really sexy face and unbelievable breasts. All she needs to do know is lose some weight. Also have heard she loves anal sex. A little weight loss and she is a solid 8.75

  16. Urbanspaceman

    Good grief, she’s a pathetic, grasping thing.

  17. Hank

    #15, pretty face? To each his own, I suppose. I guess some guys are turned on by a Rock’Em Sock’Em robot jaw.

  18. Bubby Cousin

    Superficial Writer,
    I’ve been reading this site every day since 2005. I love it.

    But the South jokes are getting old.

    Being a Southerner, I can appreciate the stereotypes and laugh at them. But it’s getting tired on here.

    I get it. We’re all racist, gun-toting, uneducated, Mtn. Dew-drinking, NASCAR fans.

    We hate anyone who isn’t white and anything that isn’t associated in some way with the flag or Sarah Palin.

    You’re smarter than us. You don’t like us.

    Got it.

    Maybe if we all wore horn-rimmed glasses while sipping Starbucks in Soho reading the NYT like a good pseudo-intellectual, we wouldn’t be as funny.

    Then again, you’d have a lot less to write about if that were the case.

  19. doc holiday

    She is a short, stout version of Kirk Douglas. Who would want to take her picture in India? Who even knows who she is in India? Her dad must take these pictures of her in foreign airports, hoping gossip sites will print them.

  20. Keeping Austin Weird

    Fish, you disappoint. You’re funnier than that. Are we phoning it in today, or is that really the best you can do with this story? “The South is all rednecks. Hyuck hyuck hyuck.”

  21. Amber

    Are all yankees bitter and jealous, or is it just loser bloggers that spend their time posting pics of beautiful southern women, because they could never really touch one!

  22. Jamie Lynn's Uterus

    India can keep her.

  23. Randall

    She is the essence of feminity

    Welcome to the home of the sacred cows

    You are gorgeous Jessica we love you!

    Randall

  24. wolf5150

    @#11-Kimmy,
    i’m sure you’re just as hot, if not hotter, than Jessica. Take a look in your sad,
    pathetic mirror and tell yourself (and your nine cats) that you are every bit as beautiful as Jessica Simpson. I KNOW YOU ARE A FAT SLOB WITH THREE CHINS OF YOUR OWN SO STFU!

  25. Northern Princess of Love and Beauty

    Southern men are the lowest form of humanity on the planet. Drunken and ignorant, they are mostly Momma’s Boys who have no clue on how to romance a woman.
    The south lost the civil war because they were not used to work, as the dominant black men did it all for them.
    The southern men were also jealous because most white women will tell you that black men are inherently sexier and it must really drive the redneck trash insane with envy.

  26. Turd the third

    Wow she must be getting ready to give someone a really fancy handjob…. I am happy to provide her with some all natural skin cream…high protein too!

  27. no_one_yuno

    Be a minority in country music? What about Charlie Pride. You fail Superficial

  28. Turd the third

    Well if she likes it that much I am happy to make it permanent, mom gave me a woodburning kit last year…

  29. Turd the third

    Hmmm, if she wanted to go Gospel I could use that wood burning kit and write the lord’s prayer on her mudflaps……

  30. Rosie

    Jessica is a pretty girl and just like my girl Brit she is getting paid. How do you think she got to India?!!

  31. ben chood

    fuck you superficial – india had nothing to do with 9/11 (as you say) a bindi and henna dont make a terrorist… you ignorant cock stain. oh yeah you seem to forget the timmy mcveighs of the USA – white trash terrorists….. oh an lets forget teh other white meat/trash old style southern KKK…. that aside all you got is some stupid staetment that Jessica was in india….. fuck your mom with your sons dick. peace fack nutz.

  32. Do you people even read (and actually comprehend) the posts before you comment on them? All signs point to “NO”.

  33. Sport

    I cant believe I’m saying this, but looking at her face in these pictures (ignoring the chocolate all over face and hands) she looks pretty hot. Like I’d totally fuck her WHILE looking at her, hot.

  34. Gigi

    You can see the injection marks on her upper lips from collagen. Trashy.

  35. isitin

    There is not one guy here that would throw her out of bed. And if you would, you’re a fag.

  36. clpierced

    jessica,

    oversized shirts do not make you look smaller. they make you look like a fatass. work out. stop eating mc donalds. stop drinking pop. this will motivate you…eating a cheeseburger naked in front of a mirror. you put the ass in massive.

    love youuuu :)

  37. Insatiable Peter

    I guess Darius Rucker selling tons of albums in the country genre doesn’t count. You “progressives” are a bunch of ignorant bastards of double standards. Oooh, I’m satirical all the time. I’m so intelligent. *nut on that.

  38. Insatiable Peter

    18 – Amen. Fuck those pseudo-intellectual ass hats. Get a job and quit crying about how your life and the country sucks. Fucking parasites.

  39. Lazarus "Bubba" Tubbs

    I really don’t know what you people are talking about. I think Jessica Simpson is fucking spectacular! As for the “man chin,” as someone put it, I’d just use it as runners to glide my dick into her mouth.

    She’s a beauty, and if none of you morons wants her, I’ll take her in a heartbeat!

    PS: Lose weight?

  40. ac

    Wait, you guys are seriously complaining about the fact that of the 30 lbs. she’s gained, 20 of those went to her boobs?

  41. Rasputins Liver

    Hmm…

    ….”country music career”?!?

    What “country music carreer”?

    I mean, she and her daddy/agent were merely trying that bit on for size to see if anyone’d sucker into her lame try at the genre after her “hip” pop career tanked.

    Man, even the yokels couldn’t stand her. That says volumes.

    “Country music career”! Ha! Whadda hoot!

  42. Give me a break...

    Nah…the North isn’t filled with anything but highly intelligent, classy, and superior beings…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5weU2olAl-E

  43. foo

    It’s called a laltika in Hindi (red hot) and like the swastika, it’s a holy aryan custom.

  44. asdfjkl;

    @10, notice 8 talks about how corrupt the wars are… i think they may be making fun of the south too a little.

  45. Jessica has a very beautiful voice and it”s a shame the industry is all about making money. I”m sure she wants to keep her lifestyle going .. so she has a part in it, but really people, lay off the talent attack. She has a nice voice! She is talented and normal. One shouldn”t have to be a genius to be appreciated for the talent they have.

  46. Blech

    Oh, COOL. I hope Jessica Simpson becomes inspired while in India. Perhaps she can make some music out there, dress in lovely colors.

    That would be so awesome! I dream of traveling to India :).

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    I am a pretty woman who loves military very much and I love to meet someone special who loves military too. Please support my vedio http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxkW4skU18U. welcome to your comment!

  48. dissapointed

    im being deployed in 6 months to iraq.. and reading these comments between everyone really makes me second my decision to risk my life defending our country and you people. you’re all fucking ridiculous.

  49. Superficial has a degree in southern law.

    @ 31. ben chood – Comment was intended as subtle humor I hope…

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