Here’s Jessica Simpson at the Good Housekeeping Shine On Event in New York last night and I almost want to comment on her weight except I can’t stop staring at her chest and thinking about ways to have sex with her that doesn’t involve an intimate sharing of hopes, dreams and human emotions. Which is probably the greatest compliment a man can give to a woman that doesn’t involve pretending to know she even has feet. “Shoes?! I thought your bodies stopped at the vagi– Well, I’ll be…”
Photos: Flynet, Splash News
Dan Montana | April 13, 2010 at 10:01 am
id do her
soyouthinkyourecool.com | April 13, 2010 at 10:03 am
Yes she looks great in pics, too bad she has to open her mouth and talk!
Do people think she’s cool?
me | April 13, 2010 at 10:08 am
Nick was a Dumb Ass
sa | April 13, 2010 at 10:12 am
…I thought she got a haircut?
KIKI | April 13, 2010 at 10:12 am
Pappa Joe needs to get her chichis sorted out. They look wonky in this dress!
Harold^Sick | April 13, 2010 at 10:15 am
My penis must be allergic to Jessica, because it sneezes every time I see her. Bless you, penis.
Hugh Gentry | April 13, 2010 at 10:17 am
she looks like she just had a baby…i’d still do her though
Dinosaur | April 13, 2010 at 10:17 am
Totally would, all natural ftw!
wizeguy | April 13, 2010 at 10:19 am
she’s great & gawgeous too!
human
Parker | April 13, 2010 at 10:19 am
When you think about it long enough, you realize Jessica is really built for anal sex.
FIshBone | April 13, 2010 at 10:21 am
What happened to the haircut?
Mr. Nice Guy | April 13, 2010 at 10:26 am
Uni-Boob does not work for her.
Jen | April 13, 2010 at 10:41 am
@ 10, i agree about the anal sex. I dont think she is built to make sandwiches after the anal sex occurs. Do you concur?
Giney | April 13, 2010 at 10:46 am
Anyone else notice that she has no neck? It’s almost as if her head is joined to her shoulders.
Deacon Jones | April 13, 2010 at 10:48 am
Her tits look like they’re making the jump to hyperspace without her…
Gueibor | April 13, 2010 at 10:58 am
So, I guess it was a wig after all.
Oh…
…fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck, I’m gay!!!!
What Happened to her Short Hair? | April 13, 2010 at 11:16 am
She had short hair a day or two ago? A wig?
xylus | April 13, 2010 at 11:17 am
And then she went off to her weekly Mensa meeting…
Tim | April 13, 2010 at 11:33 am
Short and fat. Built like a linebacker.
Her best chance at an actiing job? Bring Hee Haw back.
Keith | April 13, 2010 at 11:35 am
Pic #18 looks like Porky the Pig.
fabio | April 13, 2010 at 11:44 am
why iam not rich why i bang her right now plase buda god devil jesus alah chiva ganhesha lol make me rich now to fffffffffff……….. this goodies women
TekMoney | April 13, 2010 at 11:50 am
Haha! I noticed you didn’t mention the haircut. What happened? LMAO FAIL.
Great tits. They’re looking as juicy as they did when she first showed up 10 years ago or so.
Cartman | April 13, 2010 at 12:12 pm
I’d hit that twice.
guy | April 13, 2010 at 12:31 pm
i used to like so much more when she was skinny! She used to be sooo hot!!! This dress isnt flattering at all!
brit | April 13, 2010 at 12:32 pm
Yea only skinny tall girl can pull this dress off! Jess please loose some weight
jeo | April 13, 2010 at 12:34 pm
@25 i agree white girls like britney spears and jess look better when they are skinny! They dont look good with a lil bit of weight on
Deacon Jones | April 13, 2010 at 12:38 pm
(breasts speaking to body)
“Ehhh, buckle this. LUDICRIS SPEED….GOOOO!”
Matt-Zilla | April 13, 2010 at 12:42 pm
im loving her thickness whats wrong with you guys? i would eat that ass for days, and her tits only seem to get larger and larger i hope someday they envelop me
Mike Walker | April 13, 2010 at 1:07 pm
She should’ve stuck with the wig.
white guy | April 13, 2010 at 1:13 pm
what a fat funky bitch
pet peeve | April 13, 2010 at 1:22 pm
She really has a short neck as someone mentioned before. New Nickname: Head and Shoulders!
Parker | April 13, 2010 at 1:46 pm
@13 yes that’s true, when it comes to making sandwiches after anal sex I’m betting she’d need help figuring out which side of the bread the turkey goes on.
Nick | April 13, 2010 at 1:50 pm
Chunky.
And looking kinda old and worn out. Dolly Parton-ish.
jessicaISsoPRETTY | April 13, 2010 at 1:57 pm
ANYONE that says she is not pretty IS CRAZY ….she is so NATURALLY BEAUTIFUL IT HURTS !!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THAT SHE IS ACTUALLY A REAL GIRL NOT ALL PLASTIC AND FAKE ……….JESSICA …I LOOK UP TO YOU AS YOU ARE ….NEVER CHANGE FOR ANYONE ….BUT I ALREADY KNOW YOU WONT BECAUSE YOU ACTUALLY HAVE SELF.ESTEEM UNLIKE ALL THESE FAKE,NASTY , PLASTIC TRASHY GIRLS…..I AM A STRAIGHT WOMEN AND I ABSOLUTLEY LOVE JESSICA SIMPSON….SHES GORGEOUS BEYOND BELEIF , SMART FUNNY AND MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL ….SHES NOT STUCK ON HERSELF LIKE ALL THESE STUPID SKANKS THAT ARE FAKE !!!!!!! ALSO IT DOESNT MATTER WHAT ANY OF THE LOSER GUYS ON HERE SAY ABOUT HER BECASUE NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS WOULD SHE EVER BE WITH ONE…..KEEP DREAMING !!!!!!! I LOVE YOU JESSICA
ILOVEHER | April 13, 2010 at 2:00 pm
ANYONE that says she is not pretty IS CRAZY ….she is so NATURALLY BEAUTIFUL IT HURTS !!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THAT SHE IS ACTUALLY A REAL GIRL NOT ALL PLASTIC AND FAKE ……….JESSICA …I LOOK UP TO YOU AS YOU ARE ….NEVER CHANGE FOR ANYONE ….BUT I ALREADY KNOW YOU WONT BECAUSE YOU ACTUALLY HAVE SELF.ESTEEM UNLIKE ALL THESE FAKE,NASTY , PLASTIC TRASHY GIRLS…..I AM A STRAIGHT WOMEN AND I ABSOLUTLEY LOVE JESSICA SIMPSON….SHES GORGEOUS BEYOND BELEIF , SMART FUNNY AND MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL ….SHES NOT STUCK ON HERSELF LIKE ALL THESE STUPID SKANKS THAT ARE FAKE !!!!!!! ALSO IT DOESNT MATTER WHAT ANY OF THE LOSER GUYS ON HERE SAY ABOUT HER BECASUE NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS WOULD SHE EVER BE WITH ONE…..KEEP DREAMING !!!!!!! I LOVE YOU JESSICA
ATleastSHEisREAL | April 13, 2010 at 2:02 pm
ALL YOU LOSERS COMPLAINING OF HER LOOKS ARE BLIND…….IF ALL GIRLS WERE AS NATURALLY PRETTY AND BIG-BUSTED THEN THERE WOULDN’T BE A NEED FOR ALL THEIR SURGERY TO TRY AND BE SOMETHING THEY ARE NOT ……SHE IS HOT…..HOT……..HOT……….OH YEAH .AND HER BOOBS ARE 100% REAL…THE WAY THEY SHOULD BE .!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE HER CURVES ……SHE IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PRETTY.
Sardonic | April 13, 2010 at 2:06 pm
In Pic 1, those humongous jugs demonstrate their definant independence. She’s looking right and they’re looking left.
gesi | April 13, 2010 at 2:12 pm
She had me at “sexual napalm”
who dat | April 13, 2010 at 2:13 pm
What’s with the all caps (posts). Did they get the computer working at the mental hospital.
fuckers | April 13, 2010 at 2:17 pm
@34 AND @36 YOU IDIOTS NOBODY SAID SHE WAS UGLY! DUMB FUCKS! SHE JUST LOOKS HEAVY AND NOT LIKE HERSELF! SHE LOOKED WAY STUNNING WHEN SHE DID THAT MOVIE DUKES OF HAZARD! JESSICA IS PRETTY BUT SHE LOOKS WAY BETTER WHEN SHE IS IN SHAPE AND THIN! AND I AGREE I LOVE THE FACT SHE HAS REAL BOOBS BUT SHE ISNT ALL NATURAL CAUSE SHE USED TO INJECT HER LIPS TO MAKE THEM FULLER! AND I ALSO LOVE THE FACT THAT SHES NOT STUCK ON HERSELF LIKE YOU SAID!
small asian penis | April 13, 2010 at 2:45 pm
Typing in ALL CAPS is a faux pas.
TM | April 13, 2010 at 2:58 pm
Now I know this site is all about digging up photos and making up the stories. How could jessica be posted 2 days ago with a bob haircut, and now suddenly, “last night” she had her old hair cut.
come on!
Jim | April 13, 2010 at 3:18 pm
Jessica look like a stumpy fat trailer park hero. I think that’s what poster #34-36 likes about her – she looks like her hillbilly neighbors with the same missing genes.
Sandy | April 13, 2010 at 3:21 pm
She looks kinda retarded in these pictures. She has the empty eyeball look. Maybe that’s the reason behind her sexual napalm – she is all animal instinct brain, no higher thinking brain. She understands how to fuck; all animals do. But math and reading and understanding the modern world is what has her baffled.
Richport's Ghost | April 13, 2010 at 3:29 pm
What happened to this cunt’s short hair?
Calabash Computer Repair | April 13, 2010 at 4:14 pm
Looking good Jessica!
James T. Kirk | April 13, 2010 at 4:31 pm
I remember banging something that wore that outfit on Seti Alpha 6 back in 1967, just before NBC set phasers on “kill.”
small asian penis | April 13, 2010 at 5:49 pm
Her hair grows so fucking quickly.
pimp | April 13, 2010 at 5:50 pm
i’d like to dump a nut on her chin…
Hennifer Lopez | April 13, 2010 at 6:11 pm
ITS CALLED A WIG YOU DUMBASSES