Jessica Simpson breasts cause a riot

August 6th, 2009 // 48 Comments

Jessica Simpson celebrated her best friend/stylist Ken Paves’ birthday last night at Beso where the typical mob gathered to take pictures of her giant breasts. I can’t really tell if she’s drunk again in these shots because her face pretty much always has the “Hmm. Which foot do I use next?” look to it. And if it’s not that it’s “Cookies?! Aw, no way!”


  1. Hooray for Boobies

    1 word.


  2. farles chew

    Where are the pics of Jessica? All I see here is a heavy-set developmentally disabled girl.

  3. Vince

    What a desperate attention seeking ho. She reminds me of desperate Jennifer Aniston. It’s a good thing these two women get dump or else you would not ever hear any thing about their no talent a$$.

  4. dude_on

    She is the moral to the story of one of those parables, whereby she accepted perfect tits and celebrity along with an 85 IQ.

  5. PunkA

    Wow. I like Jess, but she looks fat in these. Her neck and midsection look like she needs to drop 20. Man, she has fallen from her sexy peak after Dukes.

  6. Chris

    How stupid can she be to try to hook back up with douche Mayer. She has mush for brains.

  7. John Holmes

    damn….with all those handlers always around her when she becomes sloppy, buttfucking drunk; how can anyone get close enough to her to take advantage of her vunerable state and pound her like a retarded kid on a whack-a-mole game?

    This girl is begging for some serious, nasty, walk away wet and bruised, hanging from the closet rod, mad rampage rebound sex. Why won’t they allow it? This is against the Constitution. What’s that line about the pursuit of happiness? Well it would make me happy to bury my peen balls deep into this teletubby.

  8. kev

    She and papa Joe should send Tony a thank you letter for helping her get noticed again by the media.

  9. Sneaky Pete

    I think she’s still fucking hot.

  10. freaknik

    Pic # 20: Ha, Paco Manson- gone to esplash your eyes out!

  11. John Holmes

    yes I know that “pursuit of happiness” is the Declaration of Independence but it doesn’t fit the point I was trying to make so fuck you.

    same difference.

  12. Zanna

    Major drunkface. I’ve been THAT girl before. And I think I’ll be that girl tonight.

  13. mrs.t

    This poor thing needs a stylist.This dress is a perfect example of her taking daddy’s advice…it looked good on his prom date in 1980, therefore he’s guessing that all the young fellas will go crazy for Jess in it.

  14. Perkin Merkin

    I really want to see her naked. I’ve been holding back my stroking for that day.

  15. But what is she wearing? That is not a flattering dress. Tsk tsk


  16. Name NO

    Vince: You are a dyke. Jessica is prettier than Angelina Jolie any day.

  17. kris

    When is she going to give it up and pose naked!

  18. alicia

    16 – Totally disagree with you on that one, but do agree that Vince sucks… and may need some serious grammar lessons…

  19. peterman

    #7 Spencer in the motherfucking house.

  20. 2 words

    2 words:

    pearl necklace

  21. jt

    she really is smokin.

  22. Jester

    She’s so dumb. I’d do all kinds of demoralizing sexual shit to her. Looks like she’s getting her emotional fix from ice cream.

  23. jlylec

    dumb…fat…whatever. i’d fuck the shit out of that dumb fatty. she’s hot as hell. in a dumb, fat kind-of way.

  24. I wish she would just pose naked already

  25. kris

    NAKED NAKED NAKED!! Damn it woman just doooooo it!!!

  26. Yep

    @23…….yep, 100% agree with you. One of the best pair of tits in hollywood

  27. Harold^Sick

    I’d hit like the Titanic!

  28. Harold^Sick


  29. ha

    Aw, Ken Paves is the cutest gay guy.

  30. @19..Sorry to disappoint you buddy, but that’s no Speidi..just some shitbag papz who unfortunately has to look like him. As for Jessica…I’m really hoping I run into one day accidently when she’s drunk and tell her how much I loved her acting skills in “Dukes of Hazzard” and “Employee of the Month” and see how far that gets me before I have to put rapies in her water.

  31. hot mess

    That d00d behind her looks like he unsuspectingly put it in the “wrong hole” in pic 8…but then strangely, we see him back for more in the last three pics.

    @John holmes, it looks like you can rest easy that the Constitution has been protected.

  32. #25 not during papy Joe’s reign…He rather keep it all to himself…

  33. Charlie

    Who is the guy in the white shirt with his hands sewn to to her ass? Did she write a job description for that? I can do that.

    Horray for booobies cracked me up with his comment.

  34. dan

    if she’s dumb we’re all dumb. we all have the same brains, apes are gonna rule us one day.


  35. HOOTERS!

    She needs to put down the Oreos and hit the gym. What happened to those Daisy Dukes days???

  36. HOOTERS!

    She needs to put down the Oreos and hit the gym. What happened to those Daisy Dukes days???

  37. Mr. J.

    poor thing. It seems that the image of celebrity is catching up to Jessica again. That is what I think ruined her marriage: being a famous public figure.

  38. Tanzarian

    Post 19 beat me to it.. … Spencer Pratt is a paparazzo?!

  39. chloe

    yeah, she’s drunk but looking much better without the hair weave.

  40. start your engine

    the motorboat of the century

  41. Who’s that weasel fondling her T&A in half the pics? That looks like a sweet gig.

  42. this will only hurt a little

    For everyone asking about the douche in the white shirt grabbing her tits and ass, try reading the little script sometimes.

    “best friend/stylist Ken Paves”

    This means that even though he likes to stick his weiner in assholes…he has no desire what-so-ever to stick it into Jessica’s. Her handlers are making sure all hetrosexual men are kept away from her.

  43. bbwsinglesdate

    What a great picture! She still has the it factor! –

  44. 1moreidiotintheworld

    All I see is the inbred retard twin sister of the Pillsbury Dough Boy that has been kept locked away in the cellar since she was born…….. Yecchhhh…. put her back already……….

  45. @ 42 – Ahh, I see. He convinces everyone he’s a gay hairdresser, and then gets to touch Jessica Simpsons post-career T&A for a few seconds.

    Well played Ken Paves. You are a genius.

  46. Bo

    She seems out of touch with reality.

  47. Anonymous

    Tony Romo continues to thank God he’s away from this chick.

  48. Sorry to disappoint the man, but that is no Speidi .. Just some shitbag papz which unfortunately look like her. As for Jessica … I’m really hoping one day I accidently drunk when he walked in and tell him how much I “his acting skills and love of the Dukes Hazzard” employee of the month and see how far that gets me this Before I put it in water rapies.

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