Jessica Simpson celebrated her best friend/stylist Ken Paves’ birthday last night at Beso where the typical mob gathered to take pictures of her giant breasts. I can’t really tell if she’s drunk again in these shots because her face pretty much always has the “Hmm. Which foot do I use next?” look to it. And if it’s not that it’s “Cookies?! Aw, no way!”
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Hooray for Boobies | August 6, 2009 at 3:20 pm
1 word.
tittyfuck.
farles chew | August 6, 2009 at 3:22 pm
Where are the pics of Jessica? All I see here is a heavy-set developmentally disabled girl.
Vince | August 6, 2009 at 3:30 pm
What a desperate attention seeking ho. She reminds me of desperate Jennifer Aniston. It’s a good thing these two women get dump or else you would not ever hear any thing about their no talent a$$.
dude_on | August 6, 2009 at 3:35 pm
She is the moral to the story of one of those parables, whereby she accepted perfect tits and celebrity along with an 85 IQ.
PunkA | August 6, 2009 at 3:36 pm
Wow. I like Jess, but she looks fat in these. Her neck and midsection look like she needs to drop 20. Man, she has fallen from her sexy peak after Dukes.
Chris | August 6, 2009 at 3:38 pm
How stupid can she be to try to hook back up with douche Mayer. She has mush for brains.
John Holmes | August 6, 2009 at 3:39 pm
damn….with all those handlers always around her when she becomes sloppy, buttfucking drunk; how can anyone get close enough to her to take advantage of her vunerable state and pound her like a retarded kid on a whack-a-mole game?
This girl is begging for some serious, nasty, walk away wet and bruised, hanging from the closet rod, mad rampage rebound sex. Why won’t they allow it? This is against the Constitution. What’s that line about the pursuit of happiness? Well it would make me happy to bury my peen balls deep into this teletubby.
kev | August 6, 2009 at 3:42 pm
She and papa Joe should send Tony a thank you letter for helping her get noticed again by the media.
Sneaky Pete | August 6, 2009 at 3:43 pm
I think she’s still fucking hot.
freaknik | August 6, 2009 at 3:45 pm
Pic # 20: Ha, Paco Manson- gone to esplash your eyes out!
John Holmes | August 6, 2009 at 3:47 pm
yes I know that “pursuit of happiness” is the Declaration of Independence but it doesn’t fit the point I was trying to make so fuck you.
same difference.
Zanna | August 6, 2009 at 3:49 pm
Major drunkface. I’ve been THAT girl before. And I think I’ll be that girl tonight.
mrs.t | August 6, 2009 at 3:49 pm
This poor thing needs a stylist.This dress is a perfect example of her taking daddy’s advice…it looked good on his prom date in 1980, therefore he’s guessing that all the young fellas will go crazy for Jess in it.
Perkin Merkin | August 6, 2009 at 3:51 pm
I really want to see her naked. I’ve been holding back my stroking for that day.
All Women Stalker | August 6, 2009 at 3:54 pm
But what is she wearing? That is not a flattering dress. Tsk tsk
-meream
Name NO | August 6, 2009 at 3:56 pm
Vince: You are a dyke. Jessica is prettier than Angelina Jolie any day.
kris | August 6, 2009 at 4:07 pm
When is she going to give it up and pose naked!
alicia | August 6, 2009 at 4:09 pm
16 – Totally disagree with you on that one, but do agree that Vince sucks… and may need some serious grammar lessons…
peterman | August 6, 2009 at 4:14 pm
#7 Spencer in the motherfucking house.
2 words | August 6, 2009 at 4:24 pm
2 words:
pearl necklace
jt | August 6, 2009 at 4:26 pm
she really is smokin.
Jester | August 6, 2009 at 4:29 pm
She’s so dumb. I’d do all kinds of demoralizing sexual shit to her. Looks like she’s getting her emotional fix from ice cream.
jlylec | August 6, 2009 at 4:32 pm
dumb…fat…whatever. i’d fuck the shit out of that dumb fatty. she’s hot as hell. in a dumb, fat kind-of way.
Jack | August 6, 2009 at 4:36 pm
I wish she would just pose naked already
kris | August 6, 2009 at 5:05 pm
NAKED NAKED NAKED!! Damn it woman just doooooo it!!!
Yep | August 6, 2009 at 5:06 pm
@23…….yep, 100% agree with you. One of the best pair of tits in hollywood
Harold^Sick | August 6, 2009 at 5:20 pm
I’d hit like the Titanic!
Harold^Sick | August 6, 2009 at 5:21 pm
*it
ha | August 6, 2009 at 5:28 pm
Aw, Ken Paves is the cutest gay guy.
The Jerk | August 6, 2009 at 5:29 pm
@19..Sorry to disappoint you buddy, but that’s no Speidi..just some shitbag papz who unfortunately has to look like him. As for Jessica…I’m really hoping I run into one day accidently when she’s drunk and tell her how much I loved her acting skills in “Dukes of Hazzard” and “Employee of the Month” and see how far that gets me before I have to put rapies in her water.
hot mess | August 6, 2009 at 5:34 pm
That d00d behind her looks like he unsuspectingly put it in the “wrong hole” in pic 8…but then strangely, we see him back for more in the last three pics.
@John holmes, it looks like you can rest easy that the Constitution has been protected.
ROUGH Daddy | August 6, 2009 at 6:27 pm
#25 not during papy Joe’s reign…He rather keep it all to himself…
Charlie | August 6, 2009 at 7:45 pm
Who is the guy in the white shirt with his hands sewn to to her ass? Did she write a job description for that? I can do that.
Horray for booobies cracked me up with his comment.
dan | August 6, 2009 at 7:49 pm
if she’s dumb we’re all dumb. we all have the same brains, apes are gonna rule us one day.
cheerleaders
HOOTERS! | August 6, 2009 at 8:00 pm
She needs to put down the Oreos and hit the gym. What happened to those Daisy Dukes days???
HOOTERS! | August 6, 2009 at 8:00 pm
She needs to put down the Oreos and hit the gym. What happened to those Daisy Dukes days???
Mr. J. | August 6, 2009 at 8:07 pm
poor thing. It seems that the image of celebrity is catching up to Jessica again. That is what I think ruined her marriage: being a famous public figure.
Tanzarian | August 6, 2009 at 11:13 pm
Post 19 beat me to it.. … Spencer Pratt is a paparazzo?!
chloe | August 7, 2009 at 3:39 am
yeah, she’s drunk but looking much better without the hair weave.
start your engine | August 7, 2009 at 4:39 am
the motorboat of the century
Narcissist | August 7, 2009 at 9:42 am
Who’s that weasel fondling her T&A in half the pics? That looks like a sweet gig.
this will only hurt a little | August 7, 2009 at 9:53 am
For everyone asking about the douche in the white shirt grabbing her tits and ass, try reading the little script sometimes.
“best friend/stylist Ken Paves”
This means that even though he likes to stick his weiner in assholes…he has no desire what-so-ever to stick it into Jessica’s. Her handlers are making sure all hetrosexual men are kept away from her.
bbwsinglesdate | August 7, 2009 at 1:59 pm
What a great picture! She still has the it factor! – christianbachelors.com
1moreidiotintheworld | August 7, 2009 at 7:10 pm
All I see is the inbred retard twin sister of the Pillsbury Dough Boy that has been kept locked away in the cellar since she was born…….. Yecchhhh…. put her back already……….
Narcissist | August 8, 2009 at 8:43 am
@ 42 – Ahh, I see. He convinces everyone he’s a gay hairdresser, and then gets to touch Jessica Simpsons post-career T&A for a few seconds.
Well played Ken Paves. You are a genius.
Bo | August 8, 2009 at 8:35 pm
She seems out of touch with reality.
Anonymous | August 10, 2009 at 8:48 am
Tony Romo continues to thank God he’s away from this chick.
usb flash drive | May 31, 2010 at 2:31 am
Sorry to disappoint the man, but that is no Speidi .. Just some shitbag papz which unfortunately look like her. As for Jessica … I’m really hoping one day I accidently drunk when he walked in and tell him how much I “his acting skills and love of the Dukes Hazzard” employee of the month and see how far that gets me this Before I put it in water rapies.