Jessica Simpson breaks her nose

August 17th, 2007 // 82 Comments
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Jessica Simpson broke her nose while filming her new movie Major Movie Star when she fell over and hit her face. She says:

“I was running with a gun over my head and fell over and broke my nose, it really hurt!”

This just sounds like an excuse to get a nose job with no questions asked. Although I don’t doubt she actually broke it. This is Jessica Simpson we’re talking about. I wouldn’t doubt if she starved to death because she wouldn’t stop petting a mailbox she thought was a dog.

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Comments (82)

  1. Meh? | August 17, 2007 at 4:17 pm

    First

    Reply
  2. Mike | August 17, 2007 at 4:18 pm

    ha… HA… Ha….hA….. HA……ha… HA… Ha….hA….. HA……ha… HA… Ha….hA….. HA……ha… HA… Ha….hA….. HA……ha… HA… Ha….hA….. HA……ha… HA… Ha….hA….. HA……ha… HA… Ha….hA….. HA……ha… HA… Ha….hA….. HA……ha… HA… Ha….hA….. HA……ha… HA… Ha….hA….. HA……ha… HA… Ha….hA….. HA……ha… HA… Ha….hA….. HA……ha… HA… Ha….hA….. HA……ha… HA… Ha….hA….. HA……ha… HA… Ha….hA….. HA……

    Reply
  3. kathy | August 17, 2007 at 4:18 pm

    she’s a douche. who gives a fuck?

    Reply
  4. Meh? | August 17, 2007 at 4:19 pm

    When you fall over, you generally don’t try to break the fall with your face…wouldn’t you put your arms down first?

    Reply
  5. Mike | August 17, 2007 at 4:19 pm

    I think it’s pronounced duece.

    Reply
  6. Triana | August 17, 2007 at 4:19 pm

    was her nose f-ed up to begin with?

    Reply
  7. Skyler | August 17, 2007 at 4:20 pm

    As long as she didn’t break her tits she’ll be okay.

    Reply
  8. kathy | August 17, 2007 at 4:20 pm

    i personally favor bag ‘o douche. say it really fast and it sounds fancy.

    Reply
  9. kathy | August 17, 2007 at 4:22 pm

    i’m also surprised that she didn’t bounce right back up once her tits hit the ground. you know? like one of those clowns that you punch???

    Reply
  10. Texas Tranny | August 17, 2007 at 4:23 pm

    She better get her nose fixed. It’s essential that your nose works when your giving blowjobs.

    Reply
  11. gotmilk? | August 17, 2007 at 4:23 pm

    yeah, you’d think her giant cans would break the fall.

    from her statement, it doesn’t sound like she hit herself with the gun. get the story straight.

    Reply
  12. lambman | August 17, 2007 at 4:24 pm

    See Ashlee (god that spelling still annoys me) had a nosejob because her nose was f’ed up, and she looks better now.

    Jessica’s problem isn’t her nose, I don’t know what it is….but its not her nose

    Reply
  13. Fag Finder | August 17, 2007 at 4:25 pm

    Is that the way you do it TT?

    Reply
  14. Mike | August 17, 2007 at 4:27 pm

    Why would you guys say Jessica has problems? I am the one with problems, can’t figure out how I can receive blow jobs via my computer. Or how I can fuck somebody via the computer.

    Reply
  15. Mike | August 17, 2007 at 4:29 pm

    Normally I just thumb my assholes instead.

    Reply
  16. molly | August 17, 2007 at 4:30 pm

    lambman- it’s her giant horse jaw. She looks just like her dad would in drag.

    Reply
  17. Tim | August 17, 2007 at 4:30 pm

    She needs a “face job” if anything. Sure, her body is grate but she looks l ike a retarded younger version of Anna Nicole.

    Reply
  18. Mike | August 17, 2007 at 4:30 pm

    #15, if you are trying to be me, I only have one asshole, I don’t have assholes.

    Reply
  19. Mike | August 17, 2007 at 4:31 pm

    Actually I have two assholes.
    One for my big ass in the back and another for my little ass in the front.

    Reply
  20. no1justminda | August 17, 2007 at 4:31 pm

    I agree!!!! an excuse to get a nose job!

    Reply
  21. Texas Tranny | August 17, 2007 at 4:32 pm

    @13, you bet, you’ve got to have a good breathing technique.

    Reply
  22. Mikey | August 17, 2007 at 4:34 pm

    What the fuck is up with this post. Just a bitch there doing nothing. Can’t we get some of her nude or something? Get some more pictures of a girl in a bikini or something, not this fully clothed chick.

    Reply
  23. Kim | August 17, 2007 at 4:36 pm

    Ah, there’s nothing sexier than shoulder blades that protrude 4″ from your back. Skeletal is SO in!

    Reply
  24. a | August 17, 2007 at 4:37 pm

    No worries. i’m sure the last one is still under warrenty.

    Reply
  25. ssdd | August 17, 2007 at 4:38 pm

    TT ~ i agree on that.

    Jessica may or may not have really broke her nose… who knows?.. Either way if it was for a nose job she would have done the nose job anyways……. but yeah normally one would break the fall ……………. I think Jessica is an alright girl….she’s had her dumb moments .. and whatever happened with her and Nick I dunno… but at LEAST she is not out doing like Brit, Paris or Blohan … with that being said doesn’t she deserve some credit?……..uh huh …

    Reply
  26. jakebarnes | August 17, 2007 at 4:38 pm

    Haha starving to death petting a mailbox you thought was a dog. Top form, Superfish.

    Reply
  27. Boba Fett | August 17, 2007 at 4:39 pm

    You people are idiots.

    Chick is smokin’ hot.

    I’ll bet 90% of you still live with your moms.

    Reply
  28. Doomhammer | August 17, 2007 at 4:41 pm

    No way this story makes sense. Those big ass titties would have cushioned her fall. Im guessing someone stone cold punched her the fuck out. I know Id like to,m but I dont hit women, I just choke the shit of them.

    Reply
  29. Mikey | August 17, 2007 at 4:43 pm

    #27, I live with a mom, does that count?

    Reply
  30. Penis Mightier | August 17, 2007 at 4:45 pm

    Sounds like that’ll be a dilly of a pickle of a moive.

    Reply
  31. HELP | August 17, 2007 at 4:46 pm

    Well, I have to say, this is probably one of the dumbest things I’ve ever read. How do you fall to the ground without putting your arms out? Were her hands superglued to the gun? And she didn’t turn her head to the side or anything — just fell right on her face.

    This woman is as dumb as a box of rocks.

    Oh, and Mike, trust me — I’ve read your posts on other threads. You have multiple assholes. Kinda like multiple personalities.

    Reply
  32. Tortured Soul | August 17, 2007 at 4:49 pm

    #17 — Tim — I wouldn’t be calling anyone retarded if you’re going to say that her body is “grate.” The word is spelled “great” you moron.

    Reply
  33. jenny | August 17, 2007 at 4:50 pm

    #16
    I don’t think her ass-chin helps any either. Too bad she didn’t break that. She’s one chin-zit away from john travolta

    Reply
  34. Henry Wankler | August 17, 2007 at 4:51 pm

    A man runs into a bar and asks the barkeep, “Give me ten shots of your best whisky.” The bartender sets up the ten glasses. The man starts drinking them as quickly as the bartender serves them. The bartender asks, “Why are you drinking so fast?” “You’d drink fast too, if you had what I have.” The bartender asks, “What do you have?” “Seventy cents.”

    Reply
  35. Sportsdvl | August 17, 2007 at 4:53 pm

    Doesn’t anyone find the humor that she’s in a movie called “Major Movie Star”???

    Please tell me the credits will list her as: Bimbo in bar #2
    or something like that!

    Reply
  36. justplainconfused | August 17, 2007 at 4:58 pm

    What I want to know is who was dumb enough to give Jess a gun, even if it was a movie prop? With all the words of wisdom that came from her mouth during her reality show, did anyone doubt she would find a way to hurt herself with it????? Jess may well be a lifetime short school bus rider, but it doesn’t sound like the other people on the film were on loan from NASA either.

    Reply
  37. Latoya Jackson | August 17, 2007 at 4:59 pm

    Fell on her face….why am I not surprised…probably while running like a girl.

    Not for nothin’ but I like her nose, bump and all. It has character. Unlike mine, non existent. I just have two holes and a little umbrella on my face.

    Reply
  38. justplainconfused | August 17, 2007 at 5:03 pm

    Furthermore, there is only one thing Jessica should be allowed to put above her head:

    Her ankles

    Then, she couldn’t run.

    Reply
  39. whackjob | August 17, 2007 at 5:24 pm

    at least her eyes were protected by the safety goggles issued during the stunt.

    oh. her “glasses”. ok then.

    truly, this is the land of ridiculously large sunglasses. (see Suvino, Simpson, Ritchie, etc. postings).

    what the fuck. please pass the fad.

    Reply
  40. egan | August 17, 2007 at 5:24 pm

    I agree. Sounds like an excuse to go under the knife. She’s a sex symbol (for reasons I don’t understand) but that never helped a woman be satisfied with her looks. You just KNOW she’s always hated her nose. Whatever, she wants a nose job more power to her, I guess.

    Reply
  41. Donkey | August 17, 2007 at 5:25 pm

    No sir…. Not today….. I’m not buying it.
    Her nose doesn’t look that swollen to me.
    This is a nose job excuse or just a publicity stunt.

    Reply
  42. The Yeti | August 17, 2007 at 5:29 pm

    That’s great. She might get a new nose but too job she can’t get some new acting ability as well. Word is this movie is absolutely terrible. This is the synopsis:

    When fluffy, bubble gum movie star Megan Parker suddenly finds herself broke and humiliated in the public eye, she wanders from the wreckage of a car accident and witlessly enlists in the U.S. Army hoping in vain that it will change her life.

    The Yeti
    http://www.wooohah.com
    So raw it hurts.

    Reply
  43. papa bear | August 17, 2007 at 5:36 pm

    I’d like to be shocked that someone who has an IQ almost equivalent to my dead goldfish would also be clumsy, but I just can’t somehow.

    Reply
  44. doodie | August 17, 2007 at 5:46 pm

    i wish i could have been the one to break her nose.

    Reply
  45. Pedro | August 17, 2007 at 5:52 pm

    Why hasn’t she gotten naked yet? That is the only thing that could be remotely interesting about her.

    Reply
  46. UNCLE NED | August 17, 2007 at 5:53 pm

    I think we all thought the same thing at once – definite nose job.

    I give Nick credit for dumping her. At the time I thought he was nuts, but time has proven him oh-so-right. His star ascended while hers fell quick.

    Reply
  47. woodhorse | August 17, 2007 at 5:53 pm

    #15 You the Man.

    Reply
  48. woodhorse | August 17, 2007 at 5:55 pm

    Top pic looks like Jennifer Aniston.

    Reply
  49. UNCLE NED | August 17, 2007 at 5:55 pm

    AND #42 – if you’re right, we’ve all seen that movie already. It was called Private Benjamin…

    Reply
  50. Glennie | August 17, 2007 at 6:11 pm

    she probably tripped over the dildo that fell out of her pocket

    Reply

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