Jessica Simpson is attempting to crossover into country music, and apparently, it’s not as easy as singing about your truck and beating your wife. Who knew? She gave her first “country” performance in Wisconsin and somehow escaped without getting a bottle of Bud jabbed in her eye. Kenosha News reports:
Many audience members found her attempt to crossover into country irritating and that her vocals lacked a southern sound.
“I just don’t hear the country in her; I don’t hear the twang. She’s not good enough to be here,” said Adam Matos, 21, from Arlington Heights, Ill.
One man summed her performance up in a single word.
“It’s crap,” said Ryan Sia, 28, from East Troy. “She doesn’t belong here.”
But Jessica Simpson tried her best to win the tough crowd over by making one of her trademark retard statements:
“I don’t know what your perception is of Jessica Simpson or what tabloid you buy, but I just want you to know that I’m just a girl from Texas; I’m just like you. I’m doing what I love and dating a boy,” Simpson said.
Note to Jessica Simpson: Probably not a good idea to tell a crowd full of roughnecks you’re just like them because you’re dating a boy. These guys like to keep that shit on the down low, if you know what I mean. (Read: I’m going to get my ass beat the next time I’m in Wisconsin. And I already bought tickets for the Curd Convention. Goddammit…)
Thanks to James who’s got the twang, ladies.
Chupacabra | July 21, 2008 at 2:01 pm
Finally! Her “people” reject her.
Waste. Of. Space.
Disgusting Ted | July 21, 2008 at 2:02 pm
No kidding, she can’t sing. She has big tits, that’s all.
sportsdvl | July 21, 2008 at 2:02 pm
FIRST omg it’s Tony Romo! fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap
juls | July 21, 2008 at 2:02 pm
aw poor girl
bigsteamyone | July 21, 2008 at 2:02 pm
wow , great knockers
Joe C | July 21, 2008 at 2:03 pm
This should be considered a compliment. I hate that fucking “twang”.
Chupacabra | July 21, 2008 at 2:06 pm
Holy shit. I was “FRIST.”
Jag | July 21, 2008 at 2:08 pm
She does have a great rack, but aside from that, she should just keep quiet.
Also…not all of us girls DATE boys….we like a good rack too….sometimes…
http://www.grrlplanet.com
jake | July 21, 2008 at 2:12 pm
her last pop album tanked so she thought she could just go country, flash some titties and be a hit. stupid twat. will never match carrie underwood.
Dave | July 21, 2008 at 2:15 pm
Tits, 9/10 as always. Everything else is bleh.
hmm | July 21, 2008 at 2:16 pm
She’s worse than Brooke Hogan.
boed | July 21, 2008 at 2:16 pm
You should have said she was boobed at her first …hahahahahahaahha
jay | July 21, 2008 at 2:17 pm
nice lucious breasts. i would suck on those and stick my rod in between them. lick her puss and her butthole too.
sharpeidude | July 21, 2008 at 2:19 pm
She and Romo the Homo are fastly becoming as annoying as that dude Heidi and his bitch Spencer. I hope Romo gets one of his knees “nuked” and he’s gone for the season!
A-1 | July 21, 2008 at 2:20 pm
Her tits do look nice. But she should keep quiet because her voice is really annoying. Just like country music.
Dirt Chicken | July 21, 2008 at 2:22 pm
Man, I forgot just how hot that bimbo is … Blonde, big tits, nice tan, flat stomach, big asss … and the best part is she’s dumb as a stump.
don | July 21, 2008 at 2:23 pm
I hope Jess comes to every single Cowboys game this season. She’s fucking kryptonite for them.
you wastes of space | July 21, 2008 at 2:27 pm
You pizza-faced losers should all go kill yourselves and stop wasting space and resources.
Not Cindy | July 21, 2008 at 2:28 pm
The rest of Jessica is just a life support system for those wonderful cans.
steve | July 21, 2008 at 2:28 pm
Still looks good for the “pop tart” act. I would hate to see her in her mid-thirties. ouch. short stubby piggy. I understand that romo just wants to get his rocks off and she’s dumb to boot!
chester cheetah | July 21, 2008 at 2:32 pm
jessica should show up to church like that and sing the gospel. The priests wouldn’t get excited though. although the audience members would go straight home and fuck their wives extra good!
nipolian | July 21, 2008 at 2:40 pm
If you’ve got a rack like that and get booed by a bunch of drunken redneck dairy farmers from Wisconsin………..I got news for you………You CAN”T fucking sing.
___________________________________ | July 21, 2008 at 2:43 pm
1. Nobody’s as bad as Brooke Hogan, # 11. Don’t be ridiculous.
2. #3, you troll. You do a pretty good fag impression because you are one.
3. #13, what are you, like 14 or something? Don’t be a fucking idiot.
4. #7, you just couldn’t resist the urge, could you? Stop hanging out with #13.
adeliza | July 21, 2008 at 2:44 pm
HA! HA! HA!
So how did she get famous any way? It was like, all of a sudden she was there, but I could never figure out what she did.
dragon43078 | July 21, 2008 at 2:48 pm
Damn, she’s hot. If only she would lose her so called voice, she would be perfect. All she had to do was go on stage, flash her tits, and she would have been more than welcome.
shanananani | July 21, 2008 at 2:50 pm
#16 I hate to disappoint you but she has no butt, it’s flat. she wore butt pads in that one stupid movie she was in…ya know, that one with the car and her as a waitress in a bar?
Deacon Jones | July 21, 2008 at 2:51 pm
Hey ladies and pigs. Im back after a nice weekend of drinking and banging MILFs at the Jersey shore. Know you missed me.
Shouldnt Romo be at minicamp?
I could go to Dallas and find 5 chicks hotter than her at the first bar. Next!
Pastor Joe Simpson | July 21, 2008 at 2:51 pm
If she made a porn movie, she’d make tens of millions of dollars off it. Stop singing Jessica and use the gifts the lord gave you.
jack | July 21, 2008 at 2:53 pm
27. No, we were all thrilled you were gone, dumbfuck. Yeah, I’m sure you were banging milfs, you retard.
farty_mcshitface | July 21, 2008 at 2:55 pm
#23– i heartily agree. especially on your points with those sorry-assed loser douchebags who actually think it’s cool or worth bragging about being first. i really wish those fuckers would take a dirt nap. they are as bad as spam bots.
Jamie's Uterus | July 21, 2008 at 2:56 pm
I love when these Simpson girls humiliate themselves. When will they learn to just go away, forever. Neither one has talent!
One Million Years B.C | July 21, 2008 at 2:57 pm
How would someone from Wisconsin, Illinois or Michigan know anything about the south or country music?
Roughnecks on top of that, please, “pass the grey poupon”…
Sell Porn Make Money | July 21, 2008 at 3:00 pm
I didn’t even know barbie could talk, let alone do country music.
What a body!! I would give her the best 30 seconds of sex I can imagine.
___________________________________ | July 21, 2008 at 3:01 pm
#30 – Thanks for the support. So you want a blowjob or what?
sportsdvl | July 21, 2008 at 3:06 pm
FRST?!?!
God | July 21, 2008 at 3:17 pm
Jessica can’t sing country and when she dies she can’t sing in my choir of angels either.
Sportsdvl | July 21, 2008 at 3:18 pm
great tits, lack of a brain. yep, typical Texas bitch.
#35 – trolls are bigger douches than those idiots who are so lame they are happy to post first.
#23 – pretty funny.
Deacon – training camp starts this weekend so it’s fine for Romo to be out bangin’ chicks just like you say you were doing this weekend.
charm | July 21, 2008 at 3:19 pm
She’s like a glorified Dallas Cowboy cheerleader.
dude_on | July 21, 2008 at 3:20 pm
I typically refrain from bashing any human subject to the possession of a double digit IQ (okay, not really). However, it has been obvious for several years that Jessica should never attempt to carry a tune publicly. Jessica’s gift to man is a set of absolute authentic ‘mammarius gargantuous’ – period. Her mouth should be opened for only two purposes… neither of which include any such attempt at song.
– She may be experiencing some degree of embarrassment over this recent train wreck performance – so let’s keep in mind that there is a person inside those luscious bouncy balloons of joy.
rough daddy | July 21, 2008 at 3:23 pm
why does she needs to win over those inbreeds? she should be glad they dont accept her…
Jim | July 21, 2008 at 3:24 pm
1. She’s got big tits.
2. She’s quite willing to take it in the ass.
What non-virgin cares about anything else?
Kathleen | July 21, 2008 at 3:24 pm
Ugh. She`s so useless.
Melissa | July 21, 2008 at 3:28 pm
She gave her first “country” performance in Wisconsin and somehow escaped without getting a bottle of Miller jabbed in her eye. – fixed
twzzlrgirl | July 21, 2008 at 3:29 pm
Hey, sexy superfish guy….
Great writing! I’m still laughing about not telling a bunch of roughnecks you’re “just like them” cause you’re dating a boy.
And, I don’t know….ladies: if you you could have either brains or great tits, which would you choose????
joe | July 21, 2008 at 3:32 pm
Tony’s got some lil ole man-tits.
Cindy | July 21, 2008 at 3:34 pm
I’d pick great tits, because then I could have my pick of men with brains, marry the one who made a lot of money, then divorce the fool and take half his money (at least). There’s no more reliable way of getting rich.
Deacon Jones | July 21, 2008 at 3:39 pm
@29
Never heard of ya “jack” with a “j”. Low esteem I’m assuming?
Dont worry buddy, someday even you might be able to fuck a Jersey MILF at a beachbar. All you need is a penis and a pnechant for one liners, jack.
twzzlrgirl | July 21, 2008 at 3:41 pm
Cindy, I like how you think.
Herky | July 21, 2008 at 3:49 pm
HAHAHAHAHA I guess the cowboy boots weren’t convincing enough . . . Maybe a second flannel shirt will help next time.
http://www.digitalfuntown.com/homepage.php
Manly chins are super sexy | July 21, 2008 at 3:53 pm
Most redneck scum eat meat too, so she has a lot in common, as well as that she is red neck scum too.