Jessica Simpson and John Mayer have broken up again – this time, apparently, for good. A source close to Mayer says: “It has been rocky and it had been rocky, and it reached the end of the road. It is definitely over – the relationship has ended.”
A source close to Simpson confirms: “They broke up Sunday night, but who knows what the future will hold. This is the twelfth time they’ve broken up. Their relationship is volatile. Last week they felt better than ever. This week, things are rocky. Who knows what the future will bring.”
These guys are on and off again so often there’s no point even talking about it. By the time I finish this sentence they’ll already have gotten back together and broken up like seven more times. Which is slightly more than my relationship with Jessica Alba. Look, baby, it’s over. The late night calls pleading for just one more night of ravaging are getting creepy. Have a little dignity.
ph7 | June 6, 2007 at 9:51 am
Frist!
Victor | June 6, 2007 at 9:51 am
Well fuckin maybe I can have a chance now. If I don’t fuckin cum on myself before, just thinking of her.
Turd Burglar | June 6, 2007 at 9:56 am
Did he take her dog, too?
PxRxD | June 6, 2007 at 9:57 am
4th
ty | June 6, 2007 at 9:59 am
Is she wearing a towel?
Also, I’d never break up with Jessica Simpson. She could eat piles of dog shit all day, and step on my balls with stiletto heels on. Shes like the sexiest chick alive and shes loaded. Whoa.
p911gt10c | June 6, 2007 at 10:00 am
John will rebound just fine, he’s got hundred of thousands on women who want to have his babies.
Jessica has….her dad?
Justin | June 6, 2007 at 10:00 am
they either broke up, or he realized that her time machine to witness other Neanderthals was all a scam.
bungoone | June 6, 2007 at 10:00 am
he probably got a glimpse of what was between her legs in the first picture & took off. who sits like that with just a towel on?
the dog probably ran off too. the smell was too pungent.
ph7 | June 6, 2007 at 10:01 am
They need balloon captions:
Mayer: Jessica, I know we had our thing, but you are dumb as a rock, and your face resembles Fred Flintstone.
Jessica:
ieatrocks | June 6, 2007 at 10:01 am
Time to sell the sex tapes John. We’re waiting.
p911gt10c | June 6, 2007 at 10:02 am
of* women
and #5. Sexiest chick alive?? Are you mad???
Alessandra Ambrosio takes that spot thanks.
Angryd | June 6, 2007 at 10:02 am
Care…
Brock Landers | June 6, 2007 at 10:02 am
How does it feel knowing your sister has become hotter than you? That sucks for her.
gooniesneversaydie | June 6, 2007 at 10:06 am
“Hey, Jessica”
“What”
“I predict that something crazy is going to happen to you today.”
“Like what?”
“I am not sure, but it involves a plaid flannel shirt, a small dog, a towel, a bed of lettuce, candles, and a single palm frond. Also, you will be shoeless.”
“No way. that will never happen…”
Fluffy Butt | June 6, 2007 at 10:06 am
Jess. did he forget to tell you he was GAY!? fag and hag .. happens all the time.
she’s a beautiful girl .. but dumber than my left toenail.
getyourhandoutofmycat | June 6, 2007 at 10:08 am
mayer just needs to accept the fact he prefers sausage to a taco…
getyourhandoutofmycat | June 6, 2007 at 10:08 am
mayer just needs to accept the fact he prefers sausage to a taco…
free sample | June 6, 2007 at 10:16 am
she looks like the Walmart customer holding up a sign. Who knew Nick Lachey was smart to move on?
ph7 | June 6, 2007 at 10:16 am
Rednecks love that horsey girl.
didey23 | June 6, 2007 at 10:23 am
silly girl
RichPort | June 6, 2007 at 10:39 am
I get where he’s coming from… the last time I had to share an ex with her dad was torture. After fucking her for a few months, I was sick of her saying “that’s not how daddy does it…”
krazihottkelli | June 6, 2007 at 10:46 am
Jezzica==girl thank God
that zhit iz over…..
U don’t need hiz old gray
ballz, I’m gettin sick juzt
thinking about them…
Cheer up and get your shit
together, U don’t need a
daddy type to screw…..
therez plenty of other
dickheadz out there..
Danklin | June 6, 2007 at 11:18 am
Whats the point of dating after you’ve broken up and gotten back together this many times? That would make for a hell of a marriage. Maybe John didnt really end things. theres no telling what he says half the time.
imran karim | June 6, 2007 at 11:34 am
is she wearing a towel?
imran karim
Poodlesaremanly | June 6, 2007 at 11:36 am
I love how he broke up with her while holding a poodle. How manly of John. He’s a beast.
Bern | June 6, 2007 at 11:38 am
She seems like the kind of chick who probably breaks down into tears at least 3 times a day. No hot amount of hot cans are worth that.
wedgeone | June 6, 2007 at 11:42 am
He was waitin’ … waitin’ on the girl to change.
WowJustWow | June 6, 2007 at 11:42 am
Oh snap! He took the dog too.
wedgeone | June 6, 2007 at 11:47 am
Bern – crazy DMBS, but the dialog – you sound too much like Mr. Fish. Cut that out.
I HAVE PICS FOR YOUR DBMS – HOW DO I GET THEM TO YOU?!?!?
wedgeone | June 6, 2007 at 11:47 am
This one isn’t Jessica’s fault. John finally realized, after years of begging girls to chafe his anus raw with strapon dildos, that he really loves something: thick ropey salty semen, shooting out of a cock that was just in his ass. The gagging, the tearing of the eyes, the sudden spurting, the hand at the back of his head to force his mouth down juuuuust a little too far…heaven. Just a little piece of snort-glug-yak-glug heaven. The ladies know what I’m talking about.
lawpunk | June 6, 2007 at 12:09 pm
How on Earth JS continued dating a guy that looks like Edward Scissorhead for this long is beyond me. He is one ugly dude. She must have some real low self esteem, which means many dudes here might actually have a shot with her.
PoorJessica | June 6, 2007 at 12:31 pm
These pics made me feel really really bad for her. Give her a break, John: it’s not her fault that she is so dumb. Growing up, her dad probably kept feeding her his cock instead of real food with protein.
jaxx | June 6, 2007 at 12:37 pm
seems odd as john is on tour (in idaho on sunday)
Boba Fett | June 6, 2007 at 12:46 pm
He’s mad because she’s been spending so much time at my house.
cosmetologis | June 6, 2007 at 12:52 pm
Who needs him.
Spit, Spit, Spit!
She should just go out and get another puppy. A Golden Retriever puppy would be the best choice. I love puppies.
MissGreen | June 6, 2007 at 1:00 pm
Dude, this is old news. Those photos came out sometime last week. You need to get with the program!
pinhead | June 6, 2007 at 1:09 pm
You got penisbutter in my chocolate!
jenster | June 6, 2007 at 1:12 pm
i think its great that this ugly big headed freak show of a guy is like “breaking her heart” hahahah poooooor baby, look how serious and intense he is, then a pic of her
sitting all alone, weeping bitterly.
1seekspie | June 6, 2007 at 1:16 pm
Part of me wants to feel bad for Jessica because she’s a human with feelings and everything, but it’s just so hard to feel sorry for a person with a lot of money and an easy life whilst so many people in this world have to suffer.
copyofblueboy | June 6, 2007 at 1:17 pm
He was saying “Jessica, no matter how hard you try, you will never be as smart as this dog.”
PoorJessica | June 6, 2007 at 1:26 pm
40 – Your comment made tears flow on my cheeks, both from laughing so hard and feeling bad for Jessica at the same time…
mrs_primevil | June 6, 2007 at 2:09 pm
Yeah, did anyone honestly think they’d last?
Jessica | June 6, 2007 at 2:17 pm
John, I’m very upset. I asked my sister and she’s really really smart and she said there’s no such thing as the “cum fairy.” So I’m asking you again: why is there always cum dripping out of your ass when you get home?
copyofblueboy | June 6, 2007 at 2:56 pm
PoorJessica…you are a better person than I am. I don’t feel sorry for her in the slightest. She looks like Ricky Martin in drag and she’s dumber than a box of hair.
Wedgeone | June 6, 2007 at 3:57 pm
#40 – Exceedingly funny!
#30 – it amazing that I can post that much material in less than one minute!
Doesn’t it suck Mr Troll, when all of the fucked up effort goes to waste because I posted just before you did.
Take that, thunder.
Wedgeone | June 6, 2007 at 3:58 pm
correction: it’s amazing
frenchie | June 6, 2007 at 4:27 pm
#3- BWAAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHH!!!!!
DEL | June 6, 2007 at 5:09 pm
JESSICA, JESSICA, JESSICA…..SHOULD HAVE STAYED WITH NICK. JOHN PLAYED YOU FOR A FOOL. CARMA…….ANYWAY WHO CARES ABOUT HER BRAINLESS ASS.
Greatestntheworld | June 6, 2007 at 7:31 pm
I would never break up with Jessica Simpson because I would have never allowed myself to be sucked into a relationship with a girl with a negative IQ. If that’s picky, then I am proud. I can’t stand ugliness or stupidity.
woodhorse | June 6, 2007 at 7:55 pm
xoxoxo Wally,
whether gallant and slashing
or cold and ripping
I always have to catch my breath