Jessica Simpson almost quit singing

September 3rd, 2008 // 38 Comments

Jessica Simpson almost quit singing when she screwed up her performance of “9 to 5″ at the Kennedy Center Honors Tribute to Dolly Parton. But Jessica’s picked herself back up and is ready to give this thing called music another try. Also, Joe Simpson told her breast implants don’t grow on trees. Anyway, here’s what Jessica had to say to E! News:

On almost quitting:
You know, what happened at Kennedy Center, I really thought I was done singin’. I was just at a place where I’d lost a lot of confidence and I didn’t even know who I was. But Dolly totally took me under her wing and helped me up and over the cares of the world.

On holding off on acting:
When it comes to acting, it’s gotta feel right for me at this point in my life. It’s gotta just be a really incredible director and production with an awesome studio and great cast…But for me right now it’s just Jessica Simpson is music.

On her recent shows where she proclaims her love of flatulence:
So I think more than anything, when I say, “Thank you for giving me a second chance,” I feel like I’m having a comeback. I’m on solid ground again. They can look to me for inspiration. I wanna be a role model.

I guess Jessica Simpson’s definition of “solid ground” involves being only one week away from watching her album completely tank causing her to contemplate a spread in Playboy to pay the bills. In the meantime, who do I pray to to make that happen: Jesus? Zeus? Joe Francis?


  1. sam

    she has diarrhea

  2. julia bella

    another “pretty” one!!

  3. Tom Cruise

    #1 and #2 suck donkey dicks while Jess sucks mine. Tools!

  4. Spanky

    Here is hoping she quits singing and starts making hard-core porn so she can support her and Tony after he blows out his knee.

  5. Richard McBeef

    @3 – Nobody is sucking your dick except Xenu, Fuckstix

  6. She will be forgotten soon

  7. just another reason to hate dolly.. in addition the fact that she has denied us all these years the sight of those trainwreck of a set of tits.

  8. She will be forgotten soon

  9. Deacon Jones

    That’s the face she made when her dad used to molest her……lol

  10. Barak Obama

    She would make so much more money and have better control of her carreer if she did pay per view porn. Who wouldn’t pay to see her in action? Heck, my wife is no lesbo but even she said she would like to see that! My wife rocks, she points out a good set of tits when we are at the mall.

  11. elmer the fudd

    ” It has to be a incredible director, production, awesome studio and great cast”
    Please!! Try Vivid Porn Studios, they may let you be a fluffer

  12. The porn-business is screaming your name!!

  13. grobpilot

    She needs “a really incredible director and production with an awesome studio and great cast…?” Yeah, I guess somebody has to carry her along and cover up the fact that she can’t act her way out of a wet paper bag.

    Porn is the way to go, girly. You know you’re “this close” to doing it and Papa Joe would be extremely proud of you.

  14. rough daddy

    the short shorts are not going anywhere anytime soon, so youll always have a career jessica!!!

  15. Dan Quayle


  16. Well!! So then we all agree that her only option is porn.

    I hear she would need to take lessons..

  17. Spanky

    @9 – What makes you think he has stopped? Papa Joe is not getting rid of that anytime soon.

  18. gro

    Send that hick to Branson, MO and leave her there.

  19. obammy

    She looks like she just got DP’ed by Tony Homo and one of his offensive linemen

  20. Racer X


  21. Jeff W.

    God, she’s just such a zero, isn’t she? I hate it when lower class people gain undeserved fame (see also Anna Nichole Smith). Simpson is just so dumb and talentless. I can’t wait to see what is going to happen to her once her looks begin to fade.

  22. Yea - blah blah

    Quit singing…did she ever REALLY start?

    Apparently to get lots of money these days all you need to have is a so-so voice decent looks (or at least enought makeup to look decent) and cover other ppls songs. Maybe record execs should start looking at Karoke bars for new talent.


  23. Not That Guy

    I couldn’t punch that talentless bitch fast enough or hard enough to make up for how shit-tastic she is.

  24. Lola

    Hey Tony Homo, still getting off on this chunky chick???? I mean she can’t sing, act or use an ounce of the 1 tsb of brain cell she has, but I can bet on anything she sucks dick better than that owl licks to get to the center of the tootsie pop…. That HAS to be the only reason why anyone would stay with this dumbass. She even looks stupid.

  25. Randal

    Stay strong Jessica! Here’s a news flash for you in case you did not read the Randal Yorker – YOU CAN SING!

    You’ve got an amazing voice that carries down deep valleys and above high mountain peaks! Plus you’re radiant smile captures anyone caught in their gaze. Not Medusa like or anything though.

    Keep your head high girl and keep pushing forward.


  26. Ted Mosby

    Why is she doing the bitter beer face?

  27. mofo

    She WOULD say “singin’” instead of “singing”

    fuckin hick

  28. dragon43078

    Stop trying to sing and get naked. Thats the only thing she can do now. And the only thing that people want her to do.

  29. MinistarFucker

    I am so happy that I never saw this airhead on TV.

  30. NastyBedazzler

    Dude what is the story with that face she is making? And what is the story with the dress she is wearing?

    What is the story altogether because I’m confused as hell by this picture. Normally I think she’s cute, but here… here she just looks like The Predator.

  31. fug

    She should have quit. The world will be a better place without her music.


  33. DaVinci'sInquestFan

    She’s only trying country music because her pop music career has fizzled out. This to shall pass.

  34. ACTING!

    Yes, when I heard rumors that the greatest film of all time…”Major Movie Star (aka Private Benjamin”, had been conceived, I knew it would have to have a really incredible director and production with an awesome studio and great cast.

    It was obvious that no one but Jessica Simpson and Steve Guttenburg would have the talent necessary to make a cinematic masterpiece like that work.

    Marvel at all the fine work she’s done at such a young age!

Leave A Comment