Jessica Biel wears bikinis for GQ

June 20th, 2007 // 232 Comments
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Jessica Biel put on a bikini for the latest issue of GQ, and in her interview talks about what it’s like being named Esquire magazine’s Sexiest Woman Alive in 2005. She says:

“At first I felt really embarrassed about it. You know, it’s a weird thing to talk about. Like, ‘Hey, guys. Guess what?’ You don’t just go telling everybody that. But after I got over that, I just started to embrace it. I started thinking, If I ever do have kids, and if they have kids, I can tell them: ‘You know what? Your grandma in 2000-and-whatever was the Sexiest Woman Alive. How about that, kids?’ That’s what I started to think about. I’ll always have that picture to say, ‘That’s what Granny used to look like.’ “

And I don’t want to alarm anybody, but looking at these pictures may or may not cause your penis to explode. And you know those pictures of me posing sexily in my basement? I wouldn’t recommend looking at those either, unless your fond of spontaneously catching on fire.

superficial

  1. christine

    ohmygodijusthadone.

    i love boys, but give me jessica biel anyday.

  2. 15piecesofflare

    If Angie’s smart, her next career move will be to hook up with Jess.

  3. Jesus-The-Ever-Loving-Christ

    #20 – Don’t forget to use lotion. I think you have lonely nights of masterbation YOUR future…

    But don’t worry… It isn’t really a sin. Dad gave you that wang so you could beat it like it owes you money. And you won’t even go blind or get hairy palms… Well, in your case HAIRIER… Dad bless you #20.

    Jesus “Yes, I CAN actually Tap Dance” Christ

    (Jazz hands)

  4. yuckyfresh

    i don’t know guys, she’s a little manly for me. and kinda thick. i’d eat sushi off jessica alba though.

  5. greeneyedcat

    what happened to the funny people who used to post on here?

  6. lickme

    Kinda thick?! You’re the type that’s ruined our society’s view on attraction. Enjoy your 10-year-old-boy ass and hips and leave the curves to me. Only real men can handle that.

  7. Brian

    #50/Ponk:
    yes, i’ll admit, that’s exactly how i am, especially being nervous around hot girls part.
    god, my life sucks!
    oh well…haha!

  8. Ruff

    I’d let her do Kegels on my cock until I passed out. In both holes.

  9. Reality Check

    AZZ UP FACE DOWN THATS ABOUT IT NICE BODY AVERAGE FACE SUCH A WASTE OF A NICE BODY

    JESSICA ALBA’S FACE ON HER BODY WOULD LOOK GOOD IN MY OPINION

  10. ChexMix

    Agree with #60…but then again I like them natural, average beauty types. Alba’s face on Jessica Booty’s body would ROCK!

  11. Jessica

    I agree with 51. I’d pass up any schlong to have her for one night… ;)

  12. Big Mama

    What is that tattoo on her stomach. It looks like a butterfly. I heard that is the symbol for gay women. So, I think you guys are out of luck.

    LOL

  13. jessica alba, is the thinnest bitch besides Paris Herpes Hilton! Jessica alba, sucks hogs ass! jESSICA bEIL COME TO DADDY, LIKE A GOOD GIRL!

  14. domingoflores

    as soon as we start thinking some celebrity is actually hot and talented all the fat bitches show up. LESBIAN LESBIAN…pfft fuck you girls are so self concious…specially when all this fuckers are jacking off.

  15. hmmmmm

    So they let just anyone be sexiest woman alive now?

  16. domingoflores

    look at those perfect legs…that ass is so banging, the boobs are perfect size. She’s tall she is confident, she can dance…she is pretty much perfect.

  17. eatingcupcake

    Just because I don’t agree with what people think doesn’t mean I’m fat. In fact, I’m far far from fat. People DO have different opinions.

  18. elizabeth from the internet

    68th Bitches! Yeah!

  19. elizabeth from the internet

    I mean…69th.

  20. domingoflores

    yea whatever you say that online…but you are eating walmart donuts i have pictures

  21. YouSux

    #55 You came and scared them away

  22. eatingcupcake

    Okay, fine I AM a fat bitch, even my myspace name says it, before I commented on this site. Go ahead, myspace me, I’m fat bitch on there. I don’t know how many others there are, but look me up. I’m a FAT COW

  23. HeHaw

    Oh Elizabeth you just can’t get it right can you

  24. domingoflores

    myspace HAHAHHA probably the only way you can get LAID!!!!!! JUSTIN TIMBERCOCK

  25. Danklin24

    She’s still got absolutely nothin’ on Jessica Alba. Her body isnt that shapely and she’s manly as fuck.

  26. eatingcupcake

    Oh my. I just searched for “fat bitch” as the display name on myspace. there are a lot. ermmm…

  27. Skinny

    #73 – Ha ha – i think you are taking things a bit too personally!
    Maybe you should change your name to eatingcelerystick – eatingcupcake just makes everyone think you’re a fattie boom boom.
    Post your myspace page – go on i dare you – no make that double dare you!

  28. eatingcupcake

    Everyone has myspace you dolt. And who the hell uses it to get laid? You’re an idiot.

  29. domingoflores

    now we have guys, impersonating as girls to make the fat bitches feel better, how cute you might just get her e-mail OR HER Aol!!! woo wooo…myspace fags.

  30. eatingcupcake

    I guess I don’t have to, for a bunch of regular superficial commentors, but what the hell. I can hear the racial comments coming right after I do. Also, my page is and has always been private, I didn’t change it for this site. I eat cupcakes, yes. I ate two today. I don’t gain weight easily. http://www.myspace.com/robertsmithislov

  31. domingoflores

    go a week without shaving and post some chewbaca pictures and will see how feminine you are…meow

  32. domingoflores

    hahahahhaha….post 82 is so right.

  33. eatingcupcake

    I don’t need to shave much, actually. I’m not very hairy.

  34. domingoflores

    those cupcakes are keeping you alive…

  35. domingoflores

    please…i have seen porn of your kind.

  36. eatingcupcake

    The cupcakes are keeping me alive? Not so much, but they do make me happy. Real food tends to keep me alive. But who’s gonna make a name “eatingmeatloaf”?

    And porn? Wha? I don’t do porn. And I don’t see anyone else posting their pictures.

  37. domingoflores

    haha…i drop my case…you win. plus you like the cure so i can’t keep this going.

  38. swan

    She is a beautiful girl….BUT her face is not that great. Kind of LAMA MEETS CAMEL and MANLY.

    She is still way hotter than most, though.

  39. eatingcupcake

    The Cure is the best.

  40. domingoflores

    KILLING AN ARAB!!!!!!

  41. domingoflores

    KILLING AN ARAB!!!!!!

  42. swan

    I figured it out (her face)! PIC # 3..Atraiou (sp?) the flying dog in The Never Ending Story…or a puppet from The Dark Crystal.

  43. swan

    Also, a little Carly Simon.

  44. star69

    The sexiest woman of the year 2005?
    First, that’s like so 2 years ago! **valley girl accent here or lispy gay dude**
    Second, isn’t that the same magazine (or was it Maxim?) who picked Lohan as the sexiest woman of the year this year?
    Anyhow, who cares.
    Gotta give it to her, she’s hot.
    She needs more boobs and less testosterone though. And that manly voice is kinda annoying. Tomboy qualities are sexy on Angelina Jolie, but her?…not so much for some reason.
    Other than that yeah whatever she’s hot.

  45. star69

    But why the fuck is she dating that wigger? He nasty. Plus he slept with ‘the joker’ for years and years (WTF) and Britney too. Yuck.

  46. cockalicious

    Gotta ruin perfect skin with a dumb-ass skanky looking tatt near her puss.

  47. zuzuspetals

    I don’t have a penis, but my head wants to explode every time I look at the constant dumbass expression on her face. I can’t understand why any man could trade down from someone as smart and interesting as Cameron Diaz to this woman. But I couldn’t figure out why Cameron would want to date a “man” who looks like he still wears underoos, either.
    Pulling up her shirt is probably the most intellectually challenging thing Jessica can do, and I bet she can’t even do that without explicit instructions.

  48. he_lips

    I ruv you jessicar bier! Numbah wan!

  49. GOD

    Her face is not much more lovely than Jennifer Aniston. Seriously her body is what makes people lose it. LOOK AT HER FACE FOR A SEC and you’ll see what I mean. Honestly she doesn’t have the gorgeous face with big eyes and button nose and cupids lips that I personally like. She’s got a little MAN in her (hmmm that works in two ways cause she’s also dating Justin).

    Anyslut the year after her someone else was the sexiest woman alive (Scarlet?) and by “alive” they mean famous and living in America. Shit your pants if you like she ain’t my bottle of beer but, she’s hot.

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