Jessica Biel shows off her bikini butt

January 22nd, 2007 // 110 Comments
superficial

  1. jrzmommy

    Hey, Edna……….report THIS *drops trou*

  2. magickal

    Edna,

    The Lord called…..he says if you don’t shut the fuck up, he’s going to stick it in your big fat pimply ass!!!

  3. Fred Rogers

    Sorry guys, but if you view the top picture in super-high resolution, you can see that she has a tiny tatoo on her butt that says “Innies Only.”

  4. jrzmommy

    Hey, Edna, zip it before I send Lesbianesque and DanYELL over to your house.

  5. typekey

    Edna’s trying to figure out how to report a really bony ass.

  6. Edna Bambrick

    I have seven names and counting that I’m going to fax to Homeland Security, who else wants on the list?

  7. PapaHotNuts

    Edna- if I send you a picture of my delicious manaconda, will you send that to Homeland Security? I honestly would love softly nibble on your cooter.

  8. RichPort

    EDNA???? You cock-loving waist-titted sex pistol… how the fuck are you? I have family that works for DHS in the Ethnic Asshole Trauma and Miscommunicated Efforts committee (aka EATME). EATME has decided that your rants may well be accurate and are requesting to play tonsil hockey with my nutsack to prove whether or not your complaints are vaild. You know the old addage: you have to give some head to get ahead.

  9. jrzmommy

    OOH! ME! Put me on your list, Edna!!

  10. RichPort

    We did it again Jrz…

  11. jrzmommy

    We did!!

  12. Lowlands

    I dunno but why didn’t the dog of Gisele Bundchen hump this bulldog?Maybe it’s not mate-season yet?

  13. PrettyBaby

    #56 Edna- Ooooh! Let me guess who’s reported…..
    1- Rich’s Troll 2- Rich 3- jrz’s Troll 4- jrz 5- Any of the Big Cocked ones like Barbado, BigJim or Papa 6- DanYELL and lastly of course……
    7- The Race Mixers like TNB Alerts, James and justme.

    -The Smartest PrettyBaby to Ever Live.

  14. #42, 49

    Look Ed, I can deal with your condescending attitude towards Christianity by making blatantly untrue stories of your association with (insert random Christian action group) and even buy into your expected “free speech” retort to this, but you continue threatening our posters with some sort of pseudo-legal action, and you’re going too far. If you have a problem with us (all of us) here and what subject matter is discussed, then report it to http://www.anticlown.com/contact.php

    Otherwise, get off of mommy’s computer and go to your room.

  15. RichPort

    #56 – Are YOU on the list..?

  16. ponk

    #41 Jennifer beales was Flashdance.

  17. PapaHotNuts

    Edna Bambrick is actually Edna Pringle. She did not co-found CLAMP, she forced her way into the organization years after it was founded by Jonathan Christian Webster. Check her myspace at
    http://www.myspace.com/ednapringle

    This really is her. She is exactly what I thought she’d be- a fat fucking loud mouther Jesus freak. Fuck you Edna Pringle, you make me ill.

  18. commissioner

    I’m already on their list, Edna.

    I can’t fly or buy a gun but that’s okay. I can still drive a car and buy knives.

  19. AnnoyingPseud

    Seriously, the Edna show reminds me of one a former galpal of mine had going on at Tabletalk at Salon.com in the mid-to late 90′s- as Bertha Marvelo, she of the asshole fixation and “my sweet little pets” talk. All penned by a very unattractive skeleton-like woman from Canada. [god's honest truth, most of these successful online personas are penned by shut-ins...yours truly notwithstanding] Barfo! People at TT ate that shit up [er, strictly in a manner of speaking]. Edna’s persona isn’t quite up to Bertha’s level of sheer sexual repugnance or Jackass like hilarity……but carry on, Edna. It still works….

    anyway, re Jessica Biel’s body. Pulease! I’d trade her body for mine in a menopausal second! Not a dollop of cellulite on that ass and body. And as a bonus, no fake titties. She wasn’t half bad in The Illusionist either quite frankly. Looked great at the Golden Gonnad Awards and even with that hint of butch going on, still a remarkable looking chick all around. I’d hit it but she’d probably think I was her Mom or something and of course, I’m not a lesbanian anyway…..

  20. Edna Bambrick

    #64, REPORTED! I’ll REPORT to whoever I please.

  21. wedgeone

    Edna – make sure that your report is typed, double spaced, with margins no greater than one inch sides and bottom, with top margin no greater than two inches, and at least three pages but no more than five in length.

    Then do us all a favor and CLAMP both sets of lips together. BTW – you’re not also a member of SPECTRE, are you?

  22. wedgeone

    One more thing, Edna, you phony religious nutbag. Check your Bible – only one human being will ever lead anyone straight up to heaven. By only one name can anyone be saved.
    And that name is NOT Edna. However, hell is full of people named Edna, who thought that they were doing the right thing. Edna Pharisee. Edna Sadducee. And coming soon, Edna Bambrick/Pringle.

    Find a hobby or something, will ya’?

  23. magickal

    Wow, that Edna. Sounds like somebody’s got a case of the Mondays!!!

    Cheer up, honey, tomorrow’s a new day. (And God will still hate you then.)

  24. Craig & "em"

    I would like to thank Sweet Dear Lord Baby Jesus and Superfish for posting more Jessica as of recent.

    Now…if you could just get Jessica Biel, Jessica Alba, and maybe Jessica Simpson all in one pick bending over in bikini’s, my life will be complete!

    I can be reincarnated as one of their tampon’s!
    (Jessica Simpson…not so much)

  25. magickal

    Oh, and re: post #71……I’m reporting YOU to the retard police! It’s WHOMEVER not “whoever”, you cunt.

  26. mrs.t

    Papa,

    thank you so much for your kind post. I have just visited Edna Pringle’s myspace page. What a delight!

    My favorite sentence so far is as follows: “Have no excepting of pornografy, it was brot here by the devil and it is evadense of it back a thousand years!”

    She says No Thanks! to hate and sin!

    I say No Thanks to illiteracy. My 6 year old has a firmer grasp of grammar and spelling than this twat.

    Regards,

    Mrs. T

  27. HollyJ

    Edna’s AFK right now. That 12oz glass coke bottle she was riding to ecstasy actually got suctioned onto her flabby old cervix, and she had to go to the ER so they could pull it off.

  28. Danklin

    Jessica Alba’s ass is 10x better than hers. Her shoulders and ripped arms are disgusting. Stop working out so damn much jessica, theres a such thing as overkill.

  29. caljenna

    My favorite Edna-ism on her myspace….”educacon (sic) is a serpent of SATAN that will rap (sic) around you and strangel (sic) all pure goodnes (sic) out of you!”

    Spelling is for the DEVIL!

  30. danielle

    What the hell IS that? Looks like two bowls of mashed potatoes. The bitch does a million squats and lunges on public sidewalks, and her “ass” turns out like THAT? That’s not even an ass, that’s two pieces of flat, toasted flesh.

    She probably slides out of a chair when attempting to sit down.

  31. supanigga

    THAT’S A MAN!!!
    THAT’S A MAN!!!
    THAT’S A MAN!!!
    THAT’S A MAN!!!
    THAT’S A MAN!!!
    THAT’S A MAN!!!
    THAT’S A MAN!!!
    THAT’S A MAN!!!
    THAT’S A MAN!!!
    THAT’S A MAN!!!
    THAT’S A MAN!!!
    THAT’S A MAN!!!
    THAT’S A MAN!!!

  32. RichPort

    #81 – Stop licking the fucking monitor… just because you spend half the day at the library doesn’t automatically make the shit yours. And don’t you know you can get one hell of a shock? I mean you should be more caref… wait… one second thought, proceed.

  33. danielle

    #81.

    Please point out any humor in your latest post. I’ve failed to detect any. Oh wait, there it is.

    “Richport”….(hahahaha) Good one.

  34. Truthseeker013

    @ 82

    If she’s aman, then I’m on my way to Sweden for that operation, baby…

  35. Truthseeker013

    @ 75

    If that were to happen, the Cosmos just migt come to an end (no pun intended). Certainly, every hetero man with Internet access would stop all activity, save for drooling and the required…excuse me…

  36. jrzmommy

    DanYELL is so fucking lame, she now busts on herself. Well, it’s about time you see the light.

  37. danielle

    Seriously Jrz,

    Go raise your bastards and get the hell off your grandmother’s computer. She bought that thing with her own retirement check, get off your lazy ass and get a job so you can own a computer too. Freeloader.

  38. Craig & "em"

    Yeah…if this were one of those “pornographic” sites, I’d probably describe what I would do to Jessica.
    BUUUUUTTTTTTT…
    Since it’s not, I’ll just say that it would involve Edible Gels and Pastries. OH…and Cornbread…you know…just incase SHE wanted something to eat!

  39. 86

    She looks like a powerlifting turbo dyke from behind.

    What is it, jessica biel week or some shit?

  40. wedgeone

    #83 – HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!
    *gasps for air*
    HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!
    *endures pain of sides splitting*
    HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!

    My God – there was so much humor in that post that even your average house plant would start laughing.
    Anyone who didn’t detect the funny in #83 should surely do society a favor and off themselves right now. Thank you.

  41. UNCLE NED

    Too bad her personality is so bland. She can’t project anything when she acts. Maybe she should just project her rear-end, it seems to work OK.

  42. She has a nice ass and a nice face. She’s fine.

  43. She is way overrated. Just look at those pointy knees !

  44. funkygoldmedallions

    I think she is attractive for a butch lesbian. She needs to put the weights down and concentrate on the cardio.

  45. PillowEyes

    She has a better butt than JLo.

  46. trunco

    honest comment… I thought celebrities didn’t sunbathe cuz it’s bad for the skin?!?!

  47. sigmanu

    THAT SPINE IS WHACK. I WOULD STILL BANG HER THOUGH. MISSIONARY.

  48. The-Guslet

    Ok, granted she does have a bit of a butch thing going on, and yes, I agree with #95 – bit more cardio.

    But I would still trade places with her in a heartbeat – being scrawny is equally unattractive…

  49. drowningfool

    Let’s stop with all these ‘roid raged celebs it might give the normal women ideas. Shit in 2006 its a woman speaker of the house, 2008 a woman president, all the while K-Fed getting custody of the kids and getting Britney’s money…at this rate by 2010 all men will be getting breast implants and squatting over the urinals wondering why they were ever invented.

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