Jessica Biel doesn’t need a bra

February 26th, 2007 // 65 Comments
superficial

  1. “And now on PTV, Its the Peter Griffin Side Boob Hour…”

    first.

  2. TJH

    Second?? BITCHEZ!!!

  3. ph7

    Killer rack.
    Killer ass.

    All those gym workouts are keeping it right!

  4. Danner

    Damn she has a nice body.

  5. RichPort

    Is it wrong to masturbate here at work? I guess HR will have to answer that question…

  6. llllllllll

    However, she does need her shoulder be pushed back in place and she also need to get rid of that half fat cow face and body standing next to her

  7. Stink

    1st pic. I look at her face, then her boob, then the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man on the right.

    MY EYES!

  8. Meritocrat

    Surely she has some double-stick tape keeping the dress from flapping open, at least? They’re looking a bit low though. I wouldn’t go so far as to say she doesn’t need one…she can get away without it, but she would benefit from having some sort of support.

  9. llllllllll

    Have you noticed that not once is anyone looking at her in those pictures.

  10. Sheva

    Man, what has been drinking the past week diuretics?
    She looks like she just dropped 20 pounds and is about to enter a concentration camp movie.

    Or maybe she’s just been doing meth for a week. She certainly looks like she’s been aging super fast.

  11. llllllllll

    And whats up with that guys face in the third pic? Did someone attack his face with a cookie cutter?

  12. lambman

    For all the attention she’s been getting on her looks recenetly, it doesn’t really seem like she tried to hard to look good at the Oscars. That dress is ill fitting and the color is nausiating.

  13. karifarrell

    Og God….you know, I didn’t watch the Academy Awards for a reason…..THEY ARE BORING!!!!
    But now I have to read about them all day???
    Work is going to suck today. So, anybody know….did Lindsay show? Was she wasted? What about Hilton? We all KNOW Brit wasn’t there. But why would she be, she’s not an actress, she a psychopath. Well, at least I can finally relate to her now. We’re so similar, Brit and I. I even brought my umbrella to work with me in case the lawyers give me any “problems”…

  14. queenbuzz

    All that beauty and she still can’t pick a decent dress.

  15. jackspratling

    Side boobs make the world go around.

    Now if we could just remember why Ms. Biel is famous…

  16. whitegold

    Why don’t I find her attractive? I mean, something about her body just doesn’t look sexy. Compare the two Jessica’s – Alba is so damn sexy but Biel just has something odd about her look. Heck, even Simpson I’d take over Biel…er, well, Simpson when she was all toned and sexy and natural looking, not the clown make-up Simpson that gets paraded on this website.

  17. biatcho

    I can’t believe people still intentionally wear fuscia. It is a foul color no matter what you look like.

  18. wingo

    She was flashing Ellen.

  19. Morticia

    I honestly don’t know what the big deal about her is. I just saw her in the Illusionist and she sucked. Very mediocre actress.

  20. anustasi

    As far as I can tell, the big deal is that she works out a lot, focusing mostly on her butt. Consequently her butt is very firm and high. That suggests to many that she would enjoy anal sex, and be quite skilled at it. I’m not exactly sure how they get from A to B, and it seems like she’s into chicks anyway, but there you have it.

  21. TrippyGoogler

    Mark my words, she’s going to look like a total hag in about ten years. Or maybe even in ten months.

  22. nico

    This is not a good look for her. She normally looks great…

    Is it just me, or does she look like Evangeline Lilly having a bad hair/clothes/everything day?

  23. karifarrell

    #15, 16, & 19 THANK YOU!!!!
    The last time I said something to the effect of “Who the Hell is this chick” and that I don’t find her attractive some asshole said I was lying and that I must be “jealous” of her.
    But see? People agree with me!!!!!!!

  24. WTFiswrongwithUppl

    Add me to the list kari, I think Biel is WAAAYY too fricken butch. Man shoulders will never be sexy. If Michelle Rodriguez and Carol Channing bore offspring together, you’d get Biel.

  25. WTFiswrongwithUppl

    @the headline: bras aren’t necessary when you have no tits:)

  26. Stormen

    Stop being haters, bi-atches. Funniest article-snippet I’ve read in a long time!

  27. woodhorse

    #23 – another amen. Great body but fugly face. Anyone who works out a lot can have a great body but I can’t quite describe why I find her face offensive. And, although no one agrees with me on this, I think Cameron is a doll.

  28. jesseeca

    nice bride of frankenstein hairdo.

    and what’s with all the awkward poses?

  29. jrzmommy

    Waaaaay too manly. You’ve got to question your orientation if you’re jacking to this one.

  30. Captain Walleye

    You know, we see it all the time. A woman gets mega-attention because she’s hot. Then they cross that line where they start working out too much, get plastic surgery, etc. – just to keep it going. They end up looking very mediocre. It’s too bad in Jessica’s case, cause she used to be smokin’ hot. There is just no comparison to natural beauty.

  31. KatiethePirate

    I still think she’s a very attractive woman. But what about that hair? It’s so nappy looking. Is she part black and we didn’t know?

  32. BarbadoSlim

    I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, she can take on Mothra, and then rape it.

  33. Topaz Vamp

    Seriously, Jessica Biel: great body (esp. the ass) but that face is not very pretty. Look at the face without checking out the body – is that really hot? She looks like that old actress Jane Wyman, but less pretty. And that frumpy hair and those waxy teeth. I don’t attually have anything against her but I don’t know why she is considered pretty! She looks like a well-preserved 50 year old in that pic.

  34. Ted...From LA

    #16- Are you talking about Homer or Marge?

  35. 5. … and by HR I mean the drive through manager.

  36. At-Law

    Man I want her so bad. Does she bang black dudes?

  37. Beats the fark out of me what anyone sees in this manish untalented fug. Her tits sag too. That made my day. Even Timberfuck doesn’t want her snooty ass (or dick).

  38. mrs.t

    “black” is fine, “dude” is not.

  39. polypam

    I agree with #10… another amazing body reduced to boney proportions for no particular reason other than to fit in with the current Hollywood standard. A total shame. I just hope it’s the result of The Academy Awards Diet and that this week she starts eating cheeseburgers again (because everyone in Hollywood goes on juice fasts and has colon cleansings in February to prep for this show).

  40. mrs.t

    #38: What? Get off my dick.

  41. 86

    Bride of Frankenstein hair!

  42. 86

    Really, I could wash my dishes with that hair.

  43. wtf

    her hair looks like a bowl of spaghetti

  44. wtf

    the 80′s called they want the fuschia dress back

  45. fame is funny

    The side boob says ‘lets party’ but the mom-hair says ‘who wants more brownines?’

  46. karifarrell

    #38 LMAO!!!
    Ok, back upstairs to look some more at that “Pink” dude’s bikini

  47. enechelon

    Normally I think she looks smoking hot, but here …she looks all bony. Where’s the toned, strong, shapely body I drool over? It’s exciting when she’s fit and in shape, but bony? Is not attractive. And she looks old, too … her skin does.
    Oh Jessica, where has your hot body gone?

  48. chiris

    Her boob has got a red mark on it… maybe from a bra or someone squeezing it?

  49. Juliabella

    That’s where a guy tried to touch her boob and it got a little scratched when she broke his finger off and drove it through his skull.

  50. belle

    Apparently along with the bra, she doesn’t need any sleep. Jesus, check out those double bags under her eyes!

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