Jessica Biel might be Gumby

October 5th, 2006 // 77 Comments

  1. Ruby

    first! yipppppeeeeeee

  2. Jacq

    All this time I haven’t been working out because the gym is too expensive. I never knew I was such a sucker! The sidewalk is free – WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF THAT!

    Oh yeah, that’s why… Because I’m young, have high, firm titties and I don’t need to work out.

  3. bornaconstance

    now all she needs is pokey as a sidekick. maybe Matthew McConaughey

  4. Jacq

    Is she about to blow that guy? What CAN’T you do on a sidewalk?

  5. Yay! It’s Jessica Biel. Anyways.

  6. saturnswirls

    wow.. all i need to have a body like that is a rubber ball and a parking meter? screw you bally’s!

  7. crystalballseesall

    @4 She’s got a big smile on her face looking right at his crotch. She’s either smiling because she’s happy to blow him or laughing because she can’t find it.

  8. slantingthroughdarkness

    Great talent to have if you’re a plumber.

  9. gatorbates

    Wow. I’d eat a bowl full of her diarreah.

    F’ing H O T.

  10. TheDarkLady

    That isn’t something she could have done at home?
    We need to nip this trend in the bud, people. Do you really want to see photos of Paris or Kate Bosworth working out on a sidewalk like this? You all know that Superfish would post each and every eye-searing one of them.

  11. At least it appears she earns her body, rather than starves it. She might do both.

  12. Madrid Marriott

    There are snarky things that I could say, but really all of that is overshadowed by one clear fact: I truly would like to have my way with her. Thanks.

  13. I guess after The Illusionist flopped, she couldn’t afford a gym membership anymore.

  14. I knew she got a Brazilian wax, but I didn’t know she knew Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. This is the bitch that should have got a hold of Paris. I’d pay to see that shit…………..

  15. BigJim

    I just came.

    Oh, and I call bullshit on the SF guy being “pretty familiar with the gym.”

    Guys who are familiar with the gym look like this:

    They don’t call me BigJim because of the size of my wang.

  16. Haroof

    Why do these moron celebrities continue to work out RIGHT outside their gyms??

    Are they really that gd starved for press??

    Especially that lesbo Biel. It’s not like she’s a nobody who never gets in People or Us.


  17. TinMan

    Yay, Jessica! She looks great and healthy women are very attractive!!

  18. I need to run a scam like this.

    Step 1 – Super hot girl comes to my “gym.”

    Step 2 – Super hot girl writes me a check.

    Step 3 – Send super hot girl out to the sidewalk to work out.

    Step 4 – Cash the check and run like a banshee with diarhea.

  19. fro0ty

    she is the hottest grumpy i know!

  20. c

    omg, could you imagine having sex with her? i need to start going to her gym.

  21. bigponie

    hey superfish dude, I need a closeup of her tat and while your at it, I need a closeup of her cunt also.

    get to it, chop chop…

  22. I think she is trying to do a cartwheel, someone should show her how to do it properly. Geez.

  23. LilRach

    Why is this girl forever exercising on the side walk???
    I like this chick but geez! Something i can’t stand is when i’m driving down the road and you see some jogger that’s doing their strectches right there in front of everyone! Aren’t you meant to stretch before you go out to exercise???

    Bloody posers.

  24. mrs.t

    I would encourage my husband to hit that, just so I could watch that ass in motion.

  25. @15.. I was wishing upon a star that they called you BigJim because of the size of your wang.

    Your body looks fan-hot-tastic. Lovin it!

  26. mrs.t

    Guy-Pierre, your blog is about to become my homepage. The instructional post alone is well worth the admission price.

  27. mrs.t

    ….and, I am waiting for the Stallion to come back here with both guns a-blazing….it seems that he will not take kindly to the same-sex body compliments. But I could be wrong.


    Mmm yes, she’s looking a little less muscley in these. I’m halfway hard.

  29. duds

    My goodness, the girl is working out. I could understand the rants and raves if she were smoking crack or snorting coke. Give the girl a break, at least she’s healthy!


  30. duds


    You obviously don’t exercise.
    People work out in the heat to sweat and burn more fat. As for streching by the side of the road? Jeez, louise, muscles get tired, cramped and need to constantly stretched……. Like I wrote earlier, you obviously DON’T WORK OUT!!!!!!!!!!!

  31. krisdylee

    The Gays love BigJim….

    and so do I…

  32. libtard

    Bigjim, thanks for clearing us up on that whole big penis rumor.

  33. Danklin

    She needs to stop working out her chest before she starts to look like Arnold. Seriously, look at her funbags, they’re more nonexistant than before.

  34. sdcoyote

    God, I want her. She is soooo freakin fine. Gimme, gimme, gimme….

  35. LilRach

    #31 Calm down man – i was just giving my opinion! I wasn’t saying anything was wrong with exercising outside i said stretching outside in public was weird!

    oh yeah and i go to a place called a gym – ever heard of one? If i exercised outside there would be too many guys having to grab their handy dandy notebooks.

  36. Madrid Marriott

    Anyone have a keyboard I could borrow? Mines is a little sticky.

  37. Cruzadas

    She’s extremely fuckable, and she knows it

  38. Cruzadas

    I would sell my grandmother to see this girl naked.

  39. BigJim

    Guy, I’m flattered, but I’m afraid I don’t swing that way.

    kris: that hubby of yours going out of town any time soon?

  40. @27&28.. mrs.t, thank you so much for the word of encouragement. It’s alot of hard (that word always makes me giggle) work/fun. Both the blog and the sexual doings.
    Stallion is a sweet, sweet man.

    Mr41.. A fellow always has his dreams.


    So Graceful…so tasteful.

  42. ***WHAT THE HELL?***

    Stop what you are doing at follow the link at # 33!!

    For the love of all that is sacred, that is the gayest thing I have ever seen!

  43. ApacheRose

    Krisdylee and Ferret–

    It’s pretty damn bad when the best looking one of the lot is William H. Macy, don’tcha think?

    Speechless just about covers it, yeah. And nauseating…

  44. James

    If she were so retarded I’d give her a “workout” and not in public like this staged crap.

  45. Doc

    definitely the best ass in Hollywood… no question…

  46. blueballs

    I know exactly where she works out and you don’t.

  47. GG1000

    Jesus, what’s with these chicks on the frickin’ sidewalk? I know Jessica Biel and Kate Beckinsale are B-list celebrities and don’t get the big parts, but I’ve just got your standard-type job and I can afford a 24-hour Fitness membership – I’m sure they could spring for even the multi-club LA Fitness deal on what they make. Yo, ladies, actions at this level of pathetic-ness to get attention do not make you a hot commodity, they make you look like a sad attention slut.

  48. Damn. I may just see another erection in my lifetime just thinking of what that mink go do in the sack. Not sure though, after that Carter-Carrot bullshit.

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