Jessica Biel is nothing more than a pawn

In case you guys haven’t heard the most pressing news of the day, Justin Timberlake totally kissed Jessica Biel at the Lakers game the other night. No, really, Jenny Slater told me in science class and I wrote it on my Trapper Keeper. OK! Magazine reports:

On last night’s Jimmy Kimmel Live!, JT admits his reasoning behind his huge display of PDA at the Lakers game Tuesday night was more about pride than romance.
“I have to clarify that one. We’re not that much of exhibitionists in front of 18,000 people,” he says. “They do the ‘kiss me’ cam, and they were playing Sonny and Cher’s “I Got You Babe,” and we were watching all these kind of elderly people kiss, and it got kind of weird there for awhile, I’m not gonna lie; but it was endearing. And then they cut to Dustin Hoffman and his wife, and he planted an open-mouth kiss on her and it was kind of award-winning in its own way. And then they cut to us and I was not to be outdone. So, yeah. So I mounted my girlfriend in front of 18,000 people.”

Oh, I get it. You mount Jessica Biel to show off in front of a basketball stadium full of people, not for romantic reasons like you’re bombed out on Budweiser and it’s your birthday. See, ladies? All the money in the world can’t teach you how to love. Which is exactly why I let you pay when we go out on dates. I’m broke because I care. *tear*

Photos: Getty