Jessica Biel is a master of stealth

October 25th, 2007 // 70 Comments


  1. Quinn

    Awe poor thing!

    what would she do if the pap really DID stop taking her picture? enjoy it while it lasts hun.

  2. Quinn

    just click on the damn coke machine if you want to know. It’s some costume or somthing.

  3. ssdd

    44 .. My apologies.. Perhaps I shouldn’t have generalized society as a whole stating “anyone”….. .. ANYwaays… you lesbians sure do get mad easy… very defensive. … but again .. sorry. :)

  4. J-Sin

    Wow, first time i’ve ever seen her act like a bitch…

  5. Missystar

    What a brainless hag. She is utterly talentless, and would most likely wither away and die if there were no more paps following her around. She will probably get her wish soon enough.

  6. beesknees

    She should be greatful to them for taking her picture, this is what she signed up for!

  7. #18

    Saving our lives? You call waiting untill the war was basically over, and hundreds of thousands of people had already been killed, before you finally got off your arses to come and help us, saving our lives? Hardly. We don’t owe you FUCK.

  8. Justin Timberlake is a complete asshole…… looks like he is just rubbing off on her. Speaking of rubbing off on her….. muahhhhhhhh

  9. Eye-Dish Lass

    Dear God:

    Please let Justin Timberlake be the only man (gay or straight) alive that doesn’t fall in love with Jessica (DIE U EVIL BITCH) Alba. MY boyfriend Justin, to whom I am clinging on to for dear life, is filming a movie with her in Canada.

    Would it be asking to much to have her meet an unfortunate bear mauling accident? I would cry real tears. I am an “ack-tour” you know….in fact, I was on 7th Heaven!! Does that earn me brownie points?

    PS: Bless the poor, peace on earth, and grant me some charisma to keep Justin interested long enough until , purely for career enhancement, his mean old black man manager makes him date a more “ethnic” beard, I mean…GIRL…to allow wigga-appreciaters, like 50 Cent, keep Justin snappin his fingers like Shirley Jones from the Partridge Family in the background of their videos. THANK YOU GOD! xoxo, Jessica Biel

  10. you can stand under my umbrella-ella-eh-eh.

  11. Martin

    alright soo i like jessica alba..simply because shes ridiculously good looking..
    now i feel like ranting because i read some people’s comments and theyre kindve sad… not the omg ur so sad…but the wow..what happened…kind of sad…

    most people love movies and music, which is why those two businesses are two of the most profitable businesses to go into if your talented.
    now a person in the comments mentioned that while she(Jessica) is “only having men follow her and around, taking pictures of her” her very successful career (money-wise) outweighs the huge breaches of freedom.
    what i simply don’t understand is why people are so keen on living vicariously through the lives of these singers and actors and why we seem to want to know what theyre doing every moment of their life. its almost obsessive with some people.
    its i believe one of the major dangers of the american dream where we can believe we can be whatever we want, but we cant… people have limits…i will never be able to act and i most definetly wont be able to sing…i am a master of the dance(not really) so i at least have that but still.

    its kind of ridiculous when three quarters of the north american teenage population believe they can be superstars…(American Idol)

    yes i admit i do go on thesuperficial
    and yes i do find whats happening with britney either really funny, if i consider it as a story, or very pathetic when i actually think of her as a human being.
    What i do enjoy about this site(and yes i am now starting to use punctuation halfway through my comment) is how its a complete parody on normal tabloids. It knows it is ridiculous, it makes up ridiculous rumours and i love it for that. But when tabloids are honestly trying to convince people of shit. And when people are so pathetic as to ask god or whatever deity(bears?) they believe in to kill these celebrities, and when people are actually envious of these celebrities, the whole idea of being a celebrity seems completly ridiculous.

    personally i believe the obsession that some people have with these select few would seem incredibly frightening in the perspective of the celebrity

    while the initial glamour does seem nice the thought of not being able to go to a restaurant or a park without being chased by men with cameras is frightening. the thought of not being able to scratch my balls or my ass all day for fear of being caught at a weird angle is probobly the most infuriating thing for these people

    which is why although, yes they can buy lamborghinis, yes they can go to spas and piss away thousands, i still feel kind of sympathetic to these few who are dealing with our obsessive, selfish impulses.

    btw the paparazzi are REALLLY ANNOYING! omg…its like going to the arcade and having fucking terrorists pop out of nowhere…and you have to gun them down like a game…
    fucking papparazzi

    yeah most of them are probobly just college kids who need some money to pay off their school fees, or they just need the money,
    but still the thought of being a paparazzi
    “wow i make money by making people feel sad”
    maybe they should go to iran and make nuclear weapons fuck
    its pretty much the same thing in a completely over-exaggerated way.

    anywayyy my argument went downhill, i went on so many tangents…and i dont think i convinced anyone…whatever
    i got my 2 cents out of my system
    now i can rest easy knowing britney is safe for another day
    thanks batman

  12. funkycrime

    Chim, Chimmeny
    Chim, Chimmeny,
    Chim, Chim, Cheroo.
    I’ll hose your ‘Gina,
    If you drink my Goo…

  13. My dream job is to be a paparazzi

  14. Strider119

    I would kill the pope just for the chance to eat a steak dinner off of Jessica Biel’s fine ass.

  15. Chesley

    She seems grumpy and pissed off all the time. What in the world does Justin even SEE in this bitch?

  16. lauren

    I guess that yoga class really centered her! yes the paparazzi is way to overbearing, but thats the price you pay if you want to keep driving your lexus and make ridiculous amounts of money for something that is supposed to be your “craft” if you want all the publicity to stop, actors and all in the entertainment industry should be paid the same as the majority of people. The only reason paparrazi is the way they are is becasue people want to see how the rich live. theres no reason anyone should be making millions of dollars for making one movie, give me a break esp when firefighters and nurses and police make under 70,000 a year! this world i so screwed up.. and so am i because i do love reading the celeb drama!

  17. lola

    Somebody has let the recent attention she’s been getting go to her head…

    Who is she is kidding? Where does she get off yelling at the paparazzi? She is getting this attention because she is shagging Justin “the asshole” Timberlake. She should not confuse this fame for anything else. She has a shit career and only got famous cause men find her hot. Ooooh that’s a talent. And by the by, if you don’t want to be followed by the paps incessantly don’t live in LA!!

  18. xman

    She can do what she wants. She is the best one out there. Please don’t let timberdick in u

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