Jessica Biel has a monster tongue

September 14th, 2006 // 73 Comments
jessica_biel_tongue.jpg

Just one more reason why Jessica Biel makes a better girlfriend than you. That and her love of baking pies in kitchens.


  1. apricotmuffins

    holy cow!

  2. jrzmommy

    Is the guy behind her playing a flute?

  3. i can’t tell if that is hot or freaky…
    maybe it’s both?

    http://www.funderpants.com

  4. Woah, and the way she can bend it as well!

  5. Cruzadas

    Suck me beatiful…

  6. DiabetesExplosion

    I bet when she dives for clams she reaches the uterus.

  7. barajas

    She could totally lick my balls while giving me head! Awesome!

  8. ScottInFlorida

    Reliable sources tell me she was looking and commenting on the latest “Lindsy Super Beaver” shot.

    IMHO, of course.

  9. Philip Ramirez

    If only she didn’t have all that muscle… She has the T&A, that tongue (hours of fun), and she’s just the right height. I mean she wouldn’t look that muscular next to or on top of me considering I’m a tortilla seller by day and a professional bodybuilder by night. Don’t question it, it’s true.

  10. ICouldn'tResist

    so fuckable

  11. Nice side boob, too.

  12. JoannieBalonie

    Tongue implant?

  13. jrzmommy

    Imagine the shennanigans she and Gene Simmons could come up with?

  14. When did she get boobs?

  15. Jacq

    You could use that thing to unclog a bathroom drain. Shit!

  16. jane's eyre

    First thing that came to mind was Jabba the Hut’s tongue lashing around while being choked by Leia.

  17. Angry Ferret Jones

    Even Gene Simmons would say “Shit, that is a nice tongue.”

    Then he would totally nail her.

    Twice.

  18. chubbs

    14 & 18

    neither of you believe a Gene Simmons love child????

  19. Angry Ferret Jones

    I think the bigger issue here is that it is almost 10:00 am, and I have yet to see a cooter bone shot from Lindsey.

    Holy crap, I hope she is ok!

    Come on baby girl, drop trow for the Ferret! I need some more endless speculation!

  20. Angry Ferret Jones

    19 – That is totally an option. You know Gene was spreading his seed like a lawn machine for the last 30 years.

  21. I know what I’ll be doing later tonight (hint: masturbating to that image).

    http://www.celebslam.com

  22. cv

    Awesome! This just makes my day!

  23. RichPort

    I’ve been frozen in my seat for the last 15 minutes, staring at her stairway to heaven tounge, and cursing my decision this morning to wear unsually tight pants. Of course they didn’t seem that tight 16 minutes ago.

  24. combustion8

    She can toss my salad anytime, hell I’ll bring the aunt jemima’s.

  25. YoMamma

    Thanks superfish for some BOOBery action that does not involve the Hohan.
    Much appreciated.

  26. bigponie

    just what I always wanted, an ear cleaner.

  27. JoannieBalonie

    Its Jerry Seinfeld in the background!

  28. RichPort

    She is the anti-Dunst.

  29. James

    Duckface has a nice rack.

  30. bigponie

    I have to admit, I am fascinated with her talent, can she do tricks like sticking it where the sun don’t shine then tying it into a knot…. ooooo the imagery is so disturbing

  31. “IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII Wanna Rock an Rolll All NIGHTTTTTT!”

    Haha. Nice. I’d hit it.

    http://www.edquartersaudio.com

  32. ruhroh

    Suddenly I cant seem to get my sphincter to un-pucker…

    I wonder if she even realizes that it has crawled out? Large, mutated beings like that seem to have a mind of their own. Like “The Blob”…Godzilla….or my peanaynay

  33. Jacq

    What’s that I see? 4 chins? FATTY!

  34. sweety

    That’s hideous!!
    :-(((((

  35. Strutter! LOL

    Oh that is a good position for some licks!

    http://www.holisticwisdom.com/blow-job.htm

  36. kandyk0119

    Hey SF, Looks like she would make a better boyfriend than you too! I’m feeling experimental all of the sudden!

  37. Well, that explains her sudden wave of popularity.

    http://www.reidaboutit.com

  38. mia

    Her chest doubles for the new york state roadmap.

  39. Tracy

    That is one freakishly long cartoon tongue. I wonder if it rolls up into her mouth like window shades when she’s done wagging it.

  40. I, uh, can’t, um, think straight. It’s so, and she’s so, and I’m so, uh, hmmm? What?

    Okay, okay, mind out of gutter, thinking clearly and, now better. Now, what was I talking about?

    Oh, yeah. I love her, MAN!!!!

  41. Haroof

    I finished two minutes into looking at that.

  42. Grobpilot

    Where the hell do I start with this one? I got a candy cane she can lick? She can get the rest of the peanut butter out of the jar without a knife? Just too much to choose from.

  43. With a tongue like that those lesbo rumors must be true. We look at that shot and think “wow, what a tongue”, lezzies take a gander and say “a female John Holmes.”

  44. Italian Stallion

    I wonder if she can touch her elbow?

  45. biatcho

    She & Gene Simmons can have a “Lick Off”.

  46. LL

    I’m not a dude or a lesbo, so this picture does nothing for me, but as long as I’m here, I’ll observe that Jessica Biel is purty, even with her tongue sticking out (or especially with her tongue sticking out, if you prefer). She makes Britney, Lohan and Jessica S. look like sacks of dirt.

    The tongue picture is sorta creepy, actually. I hope it’s Photoshopped, ’cause it’s not particularly attractive. But nice rack, and skin color that actually belongs on a human, instead of on fruits and vegetables. Just keep that freaky-looking tongue put away.

  47. ch474

    That’s not Jessica Biel, that’s some reptile alien dressed up as Jessica Biel … my god, what have they done with Jessica Biel??!?

  48. thesarahficial

    WOA! thats the freakin biggest tounge i ever did see!

  49. Dragulf

    I was wondering why they called her H4. I then realised what a good hummer she must be able to give.

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