Jessica Biel has a monster tongue

September 14th, 2006 // 73 Comments
jessica_biel_tongue.jpg

Just one more reason why Jessica Biel makes a better girlfriend than you. That and her love of baking pies in kitchens.

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Comments (73)

  1. apricotmuffins | September 14, 2006 at 7:59 am

    holy cow!

    Reply
  2. enfilade | September 14, 2006 at 8:01 am
  3. jrzmommy | September 14, 2006 at 8:05 am

    Is the guy behind her playing a flute?

    Reply
  4. Adult Underoos | September 14, 2006 at 8:06 am

    i can’t tell if that is hot or freaky…
    maybe it’s both?

    http://www.funderpants.com

    Reply
  5. SilverBlade | September 14, 2006 at 8:07 am

    Woah, and the way she can bend it as well!

    Reply
  6. Cruzadas | September 14, 2006 at 8:08 am

    Suck me beatiful…

    Reply
  7. DiabetesExplosion | September 14, 2006 at 8:08 am

    I bet when she dives for clams she reaches the uterus.

    Reply
  8. barajas | September 14, 2006 at 8:10 am

    She could totally lick my balls while giving me head! Awesome!

    Reply
  9. ScottInFlorida | September 14, 2006 at 8:11 am

    Reliable sources tell me she was looking and commenting on the latest “Lindsy Super Beaver” shot.

    IMHO, of course.

    Reply
  10. Philip Ramirez | September 14, 2006 at 8:11 am

    If only she didn’t have all that muscle… She has the T&A, that tongue (hours of fun), and she’s just the right height. I mean she wouldn’t look that muscular next to or on top of me considering I’m a tortilla seller by day and a professional bodybuilder by night. Don’t question it, it’s true.

    Reply
  11. ICouldn'tResist | September 14, 2006 at 8:13 am

    so fuckable

    Reply
  12. fearsarewishes | September 14, 2006 at 8:13 am

    Nice side boob, too.

    Reply
  13. JoannieBalonie | September 14, 2006 at 8:15 am

    Tongue implant?

    Reply
  14. jrzmommy | September 14, 2006 at 8:20 am

    Imagine the shennanigans she and Gene Simmons could come up with?

    Reply
  15. Elikapeka | September 14, 2006 at 8:20 am

    When did she get boobs?

    Reply
  16. Jacq | September 14, 2006 at 8:41 am

    You could use that thing to unclog a bathroom drain. Shit!

    Reply
  17. jane's eyre | September 14, 2006 at 8:45 am

    First thing that came to mind was Jabba the Hut’s tongue lashing around while being choked by Leia.

    Reply
  18. Angry Ferret Jones | September 14, 2006 at 8:46 am

    Even Gene Simmons would say “Shit, that is a nice tongue.”

    Then he would totally nail her.

    Twice.

    Reply
  19. chubbs | September 14, 2006 at 8:47 am

    14 & 18

    neither of you believe a Gene Simmons love child????

    Reply
  20. Angry Ferret Jones | September 14, 2006 at 8:51 am

    I think the bigger issue here is that it is almost 10:00 am, and I have yet to see a cooter bone shot from Lindsey.

    Holy crap, I hope she is ok!

    Come on baby girl, drop trow for the Ferret! I need some more endless speculation!

    Reply
  21. Angry Ferret Jones | September 14, 2006 at 8:52 am

    19 – That is totally an option. You know Gene was spreading his seed like a lawn machine for the last 30 years.

    Reply
  22. CelebSlam.com | September 14, 2006 at 8:55 am

    I know what I’ll be doing later tonight (hint: masturbating to that image).

    http://www.celebslam.com

    Reply
  23. cv | September 14, 2006 at 9:02 am

    Awesome! This just makes my day!

    Reply
  24. RichPort | September 14, 2006 at 9:03 am

    I’ve been frozen in my seat for the last 15 minutes, staring at her stairway to heaven tounge, and cursing my decision this morning to wear unsually tight pants. Of course they didn’t seem that tight 16 minutes ago.

    Reply
  25. combustion8 | September 14, 2006 at 9:08 am

    She can toss my salad anytime, hell I’ll bring the aunt jemima’s.

    Reply
  26. YoMamma | September 14, 2006 at 9:21 am

    Thanks superfish for some BOOBery action that does not involve the Hohan.
    Much appreciated.

    Reply
  27. bigponie | September 14, 2006 at 9:26 am

    just what I always wanted, an ear cleaner.

    Reply
  28. JoannieBalonie | September 14, 2006 at 9:42 am

    Its Jerry Seinfeld in the background!

    Reply
  29. RichPort | September 14, 2006 at 9:55 am

    She is the anti-Dunst.

    Reply
  30. James | September 14, 2006 at 10:00 am

    Duckface has a nice rack.

    Reply
  31. bigponie | September 14, 2006 at 10:00 am

    I have to admit, I am fascinated with her talent, can she do tricks like sticking it where the sun don’t shine then tying it into a knot…. ooooo the imagery is so disturbing

    Reply
  32. edb87 | September 14, 2006 at 10:01 am

    “IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII Wanna Rock an Rolll All NIGHTTTTTT!”

    Haha. Nice. I’d hit it.

    http://www.edquartersaudio.com

    Reply
  33. ruhroh | September 14, 2006 at 10:06 am

    Suddenly I cant seem to get my sphincter to un-pucker…

    I wonder if she even realizes that it has crawled out? Large, mutated beings like that seem to have a mind of their own. Like “The Blob”…Godzilla….or my peanaynay

    Reply
  34. Jacq | September 14, 2006 at 10:06 am

    What’s that I see? 4 chins? FATTY!

    Reply
  35. sweety | September 14, 2006 at 10:16 am

    That’s hideous!!
    :-(((((

    Reply
  36. HolisticWisdomcom | September 14, 2006 at 10:20 am

    Strutter! LOL

    Oh that is a good position for some licks!

    http://www.holisticwisdom.com/blow-job.htm

    Reply
  37. kandyk0119 | September 14, 2006 at 10:20 am

    Hey SF, Looks like she would make a better boyfriend than you too! I’m feeling experimental all of the sudden!

    Reply
  38. Reid | September 14, 2006 at 10:22 am

    Well, that explains her sudden wave of popularity.

    http://www.reidaboutit.com

    Reply
  39. mia | September 14, 2006 at 10:22 am

    Her chest doubles for the new york state roadmap.

    Reply
  40. Tracy | September 14, 2006 at 10:37 am

    That is one freakishly long cartoon tongue. I wonder if it rolls up into her mouth like window shades when she’s done wagging it.

    Reply
  41. Triumph Insult Dog | September 14, 2006 at 11:03 am

    I, uh, can’t, um, think straight. It’s so, and she’s so, and I’m so, uh, hmmm? What?

    Okay, okay, mind out of gutter, thinking clearly and, now better. Now, what was I talking about?

    Oh, yeah. I love her, MAN!!!!

    Reply
  42. Haroof | September 14, 2006 at 11:19 am

    I finished two minutes into looking at that.

    Reply
  43. Grobpilot | September 14, 2006 at 11:28 am

    Where the hell do I start with this one? I got a candy cane she can lick? She can get the rest of the peanut butter out of the jar without a knife? Just too much to choose from.

    Reply
  44. UNWASHEDMASSES | September 14, 2006 at 12:29 pm

    With a tongue like that those lesbo rumors must be true. We look at that shot and think “wow, what a tongue”, lezzies take a gander and say “a female John Holmes.”

    Reply
  45. Italian Stallion | September 14, 2006 at 12:39 pm

    I wonder if she can touch her elbow?

    Reply
  46. biatcho | September 14, 2006 at 12:40 pm

    She & Gene Simmons can have a “Lick Off”.

    Reply
  47. LL | September 14, 2006 at 1:04 pm

    I’m not a dude or a lesbo, so this picture does nothing for me, but as long as I’m here, I’ll observe that Jessica Biel is purty, even with her tongue sticking out (or especially with her tongue sticking out, if you prefer). She makes Britney, Lohan and Jessica S. look like sacks of dirt.

    The tongue picture is sorta creepy, actually. I hope it’s Photoshopped, ’cause it’s not particularly attractive. But nice rack, and skin color that actually belongs on a human, instead of on fruits and vegetables. Just keep that freaky-looking tongue put away.

    Reply
  48. ch474 | September 14, 2006 at 1:20 pm

    That’s not Jessica Biel, that’s some reptile alien dressed up as Jessica Biel … my god, what have they done with Jessica Biel??!?

    Reply
  49. thesarahficial | September 14, 2006 at 1:32 pm

    WOA! thats the freakin biggest tounge i ever did see!

    Reply
  50. Dragulf | September 14, 2006 at 2:21 pm

    I was wondering why they called her H4. I then realised what a good hummer she must be able to give.

    Reply

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