Jessica Biel gets dolled up for Letterman

June 3rd, 2009 // 69 Comments

Jessica Biel stopped by Letterman Wednesday and, let’s be honest for a minute, anyone who isn’t staring directly at those legs should be declared legally dead. No, really, notify your next of kin if you’re reading this because, congratulations, you’re in Purgatory: Now with WiFi.

Photos: Splash News, WENN

  1. adriana

    I dont like her face it looks too plastic but i loved her outfit, she looks good!

  2. petals

    She complains that she doesn’t good jobs because she’s “too beautiful” but other women more beautiful than her get jobs. Sometimes she just might not be the person they’re looking for, or maybe her audition just got outshined by others. There’s more to acting than looks, believe it or not, and sometimes it doesn’t matter if the actor is pretty or not.

  3. I say U say

    Wow pic 5 is the epitome of beauty.

  4. StressedOut

    Is it just me or is her butt splatted with something in shot 16???

    ps I love her toned figure. I wish I had a cook, trainer, nutritionist and genes….

  5. moi

    Why does this horse dress like she’s over 50? I really don’t get it. Apparently some people think she’s nice looking/sexy/beautiful. SO GET A STYLIST

    oh and file down your teeth please

  6. RedFantaGirl

    I love everybody from 1-6 for not being immature and posting “First” like some other idiots on these threads. I am sick and tired of seeing losers post that, some of them are not even in the first slot. One time I saw a thread with four “Firsts” in slots, one , two, three, and four…how pathetic. At least make sure you are first.

    That said, Jesse Biel is cute, but not gorgeous. She looks a little T-Rexish for me. Not digging the big teeth.

  7. Dread not

    Petrifying! And I don’t mean that Jessica’s scary.

  8. Yeah

    I guess I must be dead, because I’m staring at her ass, not her legs. Fish, you’re gay.

  9. Jones

    Fantastic body, amazing ass, nice face. Just seems like a total bitch, though.

  10. angie

    did she shit through her dress??? pic # 6

  11. @7

    yeah but red, the reason for that is that 20 million people see no comments and simultaneously make one saying (and thinking) they are first, but when they all hit enter only 1 can first so they all get stacked 1 – 20 saying FIRRST!!

    But you must know that complaining about the FISRETS! ness is almost entirely as annoying as people SAYING FIRST! Just don’t mention it

  12. @ 7 (me again)

    lol only one can first… I meant only one can BE first

  13. Beavis

    Oh I see it now, where she might not get jobs because she’s too beautiful. It has to be the trailer park hair or the expertly tucked testicles. That is RuPaul, right? She could try throwing dirt in her face or become a bag lady to see if that uglies her up and gets those parts rolling in. Or just skip straight to watching her own performance in I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry and realize she’s out shined by two guys spooning.

  14. She’s a beauty ,no doubt of that ,she can act better then most starlets and she has good name recognition ,you would think her career would be doing really well.

  15. I dont know what it is about her but I just dont like her. Obviously she has a nice figure and a pretty face when she has the slap on but apart from that there are many more beautiful celebrities out there than her. Her claim to fame now is dating Justin Timberlake and I doubt she will be ditching him.

  16. Lippen Whiskey

    If that’s her natural upper lip, then swell, but if she’s ruined it with injections or something… well, for reference, when your upper lip is thicker than your lower, it makes you look -Que Funky-. Sort of like Gary Shandling. She is a babe, but the claim that she’s not getting hired for being too beautiful is probably more due to the lack of truly decent and stupendous Jessica Biel butt pics lately. ;)

  17. Lippen Whiskey

    Ah. I just got a note from J.B. with a signed butt pic, saying that if I corrected “ruined” in my previous post for the more kind and potentially correct, “altered”, I’d stand a better chance of her loving me once she’s done with Justin. I can never say no to beauty.

  18. mikeock

    I was looking at her ass.

  19. Fas(c)hionista

    “It has to be the trailer park hair or the expertly tucked testicles.”

    I love you, Beavis.

  20. Darth


  21. More NSFW pics here


  22. Parker

    What a tight looking ass on her. How have I not noticed that before?

  23. an actress who is supposed to be honest?

  24. uhh

    Her sweaty armpits are my favourite.

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  27. dk

    I would lick the shit out of her ass! And also pay for her dry cleaning!

  28. lazerturkey

    where’s that Randal with his cheesy comments at? i actually enjoying reading those lol. Biel looks hot!

  29. Pablo Cruz

    What’s not to like? Beautiful with hair up, definitely exotic, kind of that East Euro-Russian face thing going on. Swimmers build, I’d like to wrestle her and lose.

  30. dirk

    Choppers look like the Predator movie. Nice ass though. I’d pump it full of man mayo.

  31. Jeezy

    @22: Fuck you! Get your fucking mybrute shit links out of here, asshole!

  32. sweetcheeks (HIV+)

    Nasty fucking bitch like all women. My legs are shaplier and I never have razor stubble or cuts on them. I actually have a better bubble than her ass does too as I do lots of squats in high repetition. My beauty certainly doesn’t keep ME out of work!!!!!

    More hunk pics please!

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  34. Adonis

    #4, pic five is more like the epitome of teeth. Put a bag over her head, and she looks good.

  35. Person

    This girl is absolutely stunning.

  36. la la

    ewww… she is gross… so not attractive.

  37. pete

    Dude’s got a great body.

  38. Deacon Jones

    Whatever man/woman has the fucking balls to criticize JB is out of THIER FUCKING MINDS. She’s one of the hottest women out there, in every respect. If you have something bad to say about here, back it up with posting a link to your facebook/myspace page, you fucking fags.

  39. DeviousJinx

    It’s amazing how beautiful she is with a smokin’ hot body, but a lot of you talk trash about how fugly she is while you think the butterface, orange spray on tan Bar Rafaeli is hot? Her horse face is a far cry from Sarah Jessica Parker’s ugly ass, she’s amazing!

  40. Alli

    She looks good but… What is that brown shit plattered all over her ass? Oh wait I think I just answered my own question.

  41. amoi

    I would kill for that necklace. I used to have a debate with my son: Alba or Biel? I think Biel, now. She’s got classic looks.

  42. Krassy McKrass

    I think JT probably doesn’t know what to do with all that ass. Bet he sits in a corner crying when he sees it.

  43. mike

    I should have such shoulders.

  44. Kelley

    The fugly “necklace” has ruined the whole outfit, and yes, that’s an overload of lip collagen, big-time.

  45. Jackson

    It is obvioius she is not wearing a butt girdle like Kim Kardaskank because she has a nice firm butt unlike wide hip fat ass buttle girdle Kim Kardaskank.

  46. mrtnclzd

    “congratulations, you’re in Purgatory: Now with WiFi.” – Could you explain this? I’m seeing lot’s of references but I guessed I missed it.

  47. ishi-san

    she is pretty – but let’s face it: damn boring !!!!!

  48. Doc

    She is a perfect example of a healthy fit female. She works out regularly and eats in moderation. She has a nice tight fit body and all natural. She has no breast implants and her body is the best it can be. She did not get her curves by overeating; she got them by practicing a healthy lifestyle.

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