Jessica Alba’s butt looks terrible in a bikini

January 3rd, 2007 // 178 Comments
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  1. machinegundolly

    this kind of hottness should be illegal.

  2. ph7

    >>seriously people, I don’t know what you see in this chick. her butt couldn’t be any flatter, she has no tits and she has a body that resembles a stick with 0 curves<<

    Yes, but that ass is tighter than a first basemen’s glove.
    Sure, she’s skinny, no tits, short as a fire plug, but that ass could crack walnuts.

  3. B_rightside

    Hmm.. I’m a chick and all for hot females, but Jessica doesn’t really do it for me.
    She has a cute face, and her ass IS nice, but she’s flat and I just don’t find her all that alluring… and I’d rather have my body.

    And CowgirlUp, I completely agree! Why the hell is she giving herself a wedgie? haha.

  4. Boogie Monster

    LMAO @ #102. Crack walnuts!!! Your funny!

  5. BarbadoSlim

    @103 ….Mmmm yeah nice try fattie.

    My penis exploded and I have the towels to prove it.

  6. Boogie Monster

    Shes giving herself a wedgie cos she likes anal. She cant get a nice stiff one up there so the bikini bottoms just have to do! A girls gotta do what a girls gotta do!

  7. sharpei dude

    I’d hit that. Then I’d lock her up in my closet, come back in 48 hours and hit it again!

  8. sharpei dude

    I’d hit that. Then I’d lock her up in my closet, come back in 48 hours and hit it again!

  9. Lowlands

    (99)HellOO Sweetie,happy new year to you.Hummm,indeed a burka would be more suitable to Jessica at the moment.

  10. isitin

    She has the best ass in hollywood.

  11. diddleysquat

    Don’t get me wrong, her ass is nicer than 90% of the population, but she has a bit of the shovelbutt deal going on. It hangs a little, don’t it?

  12. RichPort

    My eyes still haven’t blinked, since I saw that fine young thing in photo 5, the little dude on the left.

    I’d like to lick his puppies!

  13. RichPort

    My eyes still haven’t blinked, since I saw that fine young thing in photo 5, the little dude on the left.

    I’d like to lick his puppies!

  14. RichPort

    Sorry, double post, but Damn!

  15. RichPort

    Sorry, double post, but Damn!

  16. RichPort

    Sorry, double post, but Damn!

  17. sexydarin

    Ya her butt is sooo bad.

    How bad is it? (everyone)

    It’s so bad, i would shove my tongue up her shaved @sshole, until she couldn’t stop orgasming. (after i cleaned it in the bathtub.)

  18. cole007

    all those guys standing around eventually just resorted to ape-mentality:

    A-Ta! A-Ta! Eeep!! uuh- uh, uh, AH-AH-AH-AH Eeep! EEEP! A-TA! A-TA!

    No, she’s mine, bra, Cash replies, as he wisks her away in his animal that rolls on rubber feet….

  19. lilypetals

    I don’t know which side of Jessica Alba looks
    terrible – her butt or her nasty no-makeup

    face

  20. BigdaddylovesGod247

    This is a joke about her butt right?

    It looks good!

  21. lefty

    I was looking at these pics at work yesterday, and I had to wait to leave the office because of the tent in my pants.

    That ass is perfect, round and tight. It sure as hell isnt flat.

  22. libtard

    God damn you, superfish guy! Now I’m a lesbian. Are you happy you prick??? I have no idea how to sexually satisfy a woman, Jessica… but I’m willing to learn for you.

  23. RoseColoredGlasses

    She is REALLY starting to look anorexic…and having sex with her would be like having sex with a street lamp…

  24. Forbidden

    LMAO dudes!! you’re sad! wether you are little boys who have never seen a real hot woman’s body and aren’t aware of how a womanly body looks like, or the same but you aren’t little boys, you’re losers that could be turned on by a fly who haven’t seen a hot chick in your whole lives and probably never will, which is very sad. or women, as I see at least 50% of the people complimenting this chick’s flat ass and stick body are women, and probably think it’s a nice body or that the chick is hot because they’re fat as fuck ugly cows. gawd, this chick is so average, and her body is like this: || I can’t believe that you’re so dumb or desperate to find this woman hot and that flat ass nice and think that that stick 0 curves body, which resembles a boy’s body more like a woman’s body, is actually nice. ROFLOL @ all of you, I feel bad for you, haha. go get some real hot chick and real hot ass and stop idolizing an average chick over your computer screen!! (but oh well I’m sure most of you couldn’t get any anyway so it’s understandable)
    ok, some lessons guys and girls. this is what a nice ass, a nice body and a hot chick looks like:
    - http://i1.tinypic.com/3zrrksz.jpg

  25. Kokroach

    Again. Carbs are your friends.

  26. RichPort

    #112-116 – Ass Troll, uou are truly a worthless dirtbag… even the other worthless dirtbags think so.

    #127 – Thanks for the Vida pic. I won’t be able to get up from my chair for hours…

  27. RoseColoredGlasses

    #124-you are SOOOOOOOO right!! A girl who has a flat ass like that, and no meat is definitely not sexy! At least the porn industry respects big well-rounded bottoms…lol…although it also has other issues as well which I do not care to mention right now…but, you are right…those guys who think she’s hot are retarded and the girls who think she’s hot (although she’s becoming anorexic) are stupid and that’s why there are soo many problems with society today….

  28. NicotineEyePatch

    I admit, Jessica Alba’s ass looks like you could bounce quarters off it – although she is too thin and there’s no distinguishing her waist from her hips. I think the best she looked was in Sin City with some junk in her trunk. And she’s cute – sometimes very cute.
    Her ass in these pics says a lot more than I want *her* to, and she’s lucky she has that cute ass and face because she cannot act.

    #124, 126, and 127:
    yes, in those cases it must be the asses… because it certainly AIN’T the faces that make those chicks hot. Maybe the first one, but her painful expression might be helped by not trying to break her own spinal cord trying to make her ass look more fuckable.

  29. xanga

    #91 lmao! tune up the bagpipes, we’re heading back to our new home…

  30. Best actress ever. No, seriously, because I actually want to watch her. Meryyl Streep and King Kong, ain’t got shit on here.

    This comment sucked, because I was distracted.

  31. normella

    I see better every time I look in the mirror.

    Boo ya!

  32. Forbidden

    to #130 – the girl in the first pic is the same as the one in the second pic. she’s incredibly beautiful and gorgeous. maybe not good pics, but check her out, she’s incredibly stunning, Jessica Alba cannot be compared to her in the best looking day of her life, she’s not even on her league AT ALL, it’d be a joke comparing Gina’s gorgeousness to a cute average chick like Alba. Gina (that’s her name) is WAAAAAAAAAY prettier. Actually Gina is incredibly beautiful and stunning, while Jessica is only cute. You can see Gina in Eminem’s Superman video, and damn is she beautiful and is she fine, not to mention her ass. Actually, Eminem had hired another girl for his video but when he saw Gina he fired her and wanted Gina on his video badly. He wanted to fuck her badly after shooting the video but she refused, she’s married.
    The other girl is Vida. And she’s waaay prettier and hotter than Alba too. Alba’s not even on her league and doesn’t come even close to being as hot and beautiful as Vida is neither. You can clearly see from the pics that Alba has nothing to do next to those girls and how beautiful they are, but if by looking at these girls you can’t appreciate it, I suggest to check them out more. Because Alba is a man and kinda ugly next to those 2.

  33. RoseColoredGlasses

    Ok forbidden…maybe the first girl is prettier than alba, but the last one..vida? nah uh…maybe she has a nice body…but a horse’s face…sorry to say…

  34. RoseColoredGlasses

    Actually..I take that back…Vida does look good on other pictures…check out her website..however, the one you showed us here is BAD…

  35. normella

    Forbidden:

    I don’t know about Vida or that other girl’s picture you posted. I’ve seen more beautifully voluptuous women who haven’t had cosmetic surgery or aren’t airbrushed to death, feel me?

    As a curvy woman, I appreciate natural curves, no matter if it’s on someone slender like Scarlett Johanssen or someone larger like Jennifer Hudson.

    But posting pictures of a surgery-ridden body that has to maintain the figure by exercising and dieting everyday isn’t realistic. You’re preaching about men loving a real woman but you’re posting pictures of airbrushed models. Contradictory, yes?

    Right?

    ::waits::

    Guys?

    Anyone?

  36. normella

    Forbidden:

    I don’t know about Vida or that other girl’s picture you posted. I’ve seen more beautifully voluptuous women who haven’t had cosmetic surgery or aren’t airbrushed to death, feel me?

    As a curvy woman, I appreciate natural curves, no matter if it’s on someone slender like Scarlett Johanssen or someone larger like Jennifer Hudson.

    But posting pictures of a surgery-ridden body that has to maintain the figure by exercising and dieting everyday isn’t realistic. You’re preaching about men loving a real woman but you’re posting pictures of airbrushed models. Contradictory, yes?

    Right?

    ::waits::

    Guys?

    Anyone?

  37. normella

    Forbidden:

    I don’t know about Vida or that other girl’s picture you posted. I’ve seen more beautifully voluptuous women who haven’t had cosmetic surgery or aren’t airbrushed to death, feel me?

    As a curvy woman, I appreciate natural curves, no matter if it’s on someone slender like Scarlett Johanssen or someone larger like Jennifer Hudson.

    But posting pictures of a surgery-ridden body that has to maintain the figure by exercising and dieting everyday isn’t realistic. You’re preaching about men loving a real woman but you’re posting pictures of airbrushed models. Contradictory, yes?

    Right?

    ::waits::

    Guys?

    Anyone?

  38. normella

    Wack. I triple posted. Lame! Sorry, guys.

  39. Forbidden

    normella,
    the photos I posted are definitely not airbrushed in the least bit neither does the women in them have any plastic surgery done other than their breasts. if you wanna see airbrushed pictures, look at any Jessica Alba promo pic, that is total airbrushing and photoshoping.
    I’m sorry but I doubt you may have seen women more beautiful than these, they are among the most stunning on earth. If that’s the case please let me know who they are :D!!! but don’t judge them by 1 or 2 bad pics you just saw, get to really find out the way they look. If you don’t believe they’re 100% real and natural (besides their breasts) and that the photos haven’t been airbrushed or altered from reality at all, watch these girls in any movie or clip, there’s tons of them, and you’ll see how incredibly real, hot and stunning they truly are. And yes, they’re 100% real women.

  40. normella

    You really think those pictures aren’t airbrushed? So you honestly think these women have no stretch marks, cellulite, etc…? I’ve seen that exact picture of Vida Guerra in a magazine. EVERY picture for a magazine is airbrushed and photoshopped. Talk to any magazine editor. Also, all pictures of models are touched up. Sorry to disappoint you.

    I can’t dictate who YOU think are the most beautiful women on earth, but I’m sure you’ve never been all around the world. Forming a universal opinion like yours based on celebrity photos is quite naive. I’ll tell you what, though. I’ve seen more beautiful women walking down the street.

    I’ve seen several pictures of Vida Guerra. I don’t find her very pretty at all. This is my logic behind what makes a physically beautiful woman: Take away the extreme dieting, exercising, plastic surgery (because having your breasts done IS considered altering your physique) and then what do you have?

    If you’re left with the exact same figure and face, you have a beautiful woman. Most of these models and celebrities are fixed up already. I personally don’t worship them and neither should anyone else.

  41. normella

    And may I just add, just because a girl is voluptuous (like Vida) doesn’t mean she doesn’t diet and exercise like a maniac. She has said herself in radio interviews that she has to watch what she eats all the time and has to exercise like a madwoman.

    If she let go of all that, she’d be, as Forbidden says, “an ugly fat cow.”

    I’m just saying…

  42. sexydarin

    Jessica Alba has the perfect body. All woman.

  43. Forbidden

    normella,
    I have no idea about that Vida’s photo, but you can be sure she has 0 cellulite and stretch marks. The others – Gina’s – are not airbrushed AT ALL. She’s a porn star, and those are porn shoots, the second one from a movie. Captions from porn movies don’t get airbrushed. And of course she has not a stretch mark or any cellulite at all neither. I’ve seen her and you can see it in any of her movies – perfect, and 0 airbrushing in those pics. Just stop saying it can’t be possible and go watch one of her movies and be amazed. I know it’s hard to believe that someone can have such an amazing body for real, but it’s true. My girlfriend has a body like that too with 0 cellulite and not a single stretch mark and trust me, I’ve seen her very close up, and it’s totally possible, she’s 100% a real woman and it’d be really mean to say she can’t be real because she has an amazing body that most people will never have and because she’s really hot, she’s as real as any other woman, but way better;) of course these women take a lot of care of their bodies, and if they let themselves go they would look worse, but also if Lindsay Lohan got tons of plastic surgery done and started dieting the right way and that stuff she would also actually be prettier and would have a nicer body, but she doesn’t – everyone could be a lot of things if they weren’t the way they are, if you took all the things they really have going on for them from them, but it’s the way THEY ARE, not the way the would be if they were different, so that’s a pretty ridiculous thing what you said. These women are incredibly hot and stunning and deserve recognition for who they are and how they are, they could also had been born in Africa and be poor and they wouldn’t have a chance to get famous so they wouldn’t be – it’s not what it could be if you took what it is away, it’s what it ACTUALLY IS, and they deserve recognition for it, just as any great sports player deserves recognition for being so good at what they do, oh yeah, if they didn’t train or didn’t work hard they would not be like that, so what counts is what is left it you take all the hard work – what actually makes them special off? OF COURSE NOT, DUH. And you can’t deny that these woman are incredibly gorgeous and have incredibly amazing bodies. Wether you wanna blame the way they do look on airbrushing because you can’t believe it could be possible to look like that or not, you know it’s true and that they are like that for real. Sorry, but yes. And what’s wrong with dieting and exercising lady? and no, you’re wrong, these woman could never be ugly cows. first off, they could never be ugly no matter how much they let themselves go, especially Gina, because she’s naturally incredibly beautiful. And second, they could never be cows. No matter how fat they could get, they’d never be cows. Being a cow is more than being fat, it’s something that comes from the inside.
    And what is that attitude that you have going on lady, talking to people you know nothing about like if they were retarded?
    wtf do you know where do I travel and how often? you’d be disappointed, actually because of the way my life is, I have to travel a lot worldwide and I work with incredibly hot, beautiful, stunning women, and actually, I’m really into magazines and know very well how they work thanks;) wtf do you know what my beauty opinions are and how have they been formed? I for sure have seen A LOT of breathtaking stunning incredibly gorgeous women in my life -for real-, way more than most people ever will, and that’s one of the reasons for me to know what real beauty looks like and to know what I like. And I’m not very interested in maistream celebrities, lady, because they’re not the prettiest or hottest at all, by far. I don’t know.
    Now hun go watch one of Gina’s movies and realize that because you can’t look like that doesn’t mean other women can’t.

    to #144 – there’s not a single womanly thing about her body, except, her vagina?

  44. cynicalheretic

    to #145 what are you fucking retarded? Jessica Alba is fucking fine. Only a queer or ugly jealous dyke would say mean things about my future wife.

  45. Forbidden

    to #146 -
    the only one who seems fucking retarded -and gay- is you.
    oh, sorry, you never got to touch or see a real hot chick, right? not that you could anyway, so you idolize and drool over an average chick with a boy’s body. and you have no idea how a hot body or a hot chick looks like anyway, right?
    only gay desperates would find an average stick with a boy’s body fine.

  46. mia

    You can’t be heterosexual and say that she is gorgeous. You must have been brainwashed because she has the body of a little boy. She also has the body of Nicole Richie, and her bikini… http://www.justjared.com/images/2006/08/nicole-richie-bikini.jpg

  47. normella

    You wrote way too much.

    All I have to say is:

    LMFAO @ the whole #145 post.

    P.S. Your opinion of what’s “incredibly gorgeous and stunning” isn’t everyone else’s opinion of what’s gorgeous. If you ask me, I say Sophia Loren in her prime is just about the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen on-screen.

    But hey, that’s just me.

    And I highly doubt you’ve been to every single country in this world. Anyone who has wouldn’t post pictures of a video ho and a porn star and insist they’re more beautiful than every single woman on the planet.

    Damn, society really is fucked up, ain’t it?

  48. mia

    You must be really naive to think that an actress or a porn star should be recognize for her perfect body. Our body is probably the most unstable part of us. You will have bad surprises in 10 years when your perfect gilfriend (or pornstar) will get cellulite. You should start to look at a woman as an intelligent being instead of a sexual object.

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