Jessica Alba wanted to get married

July 30th, 2007 // 90 Comments
jessica-alba-morning-show-00.jpg

A source close to Jessica Alba is claiming Jessica broke up with Cash Warren because she was ready for marriage and he wasn’t. The insider says:

“He wasn’t ready for marriage, and Jessica is. It’s simple as that. It’s kind of cold that the press is saying she was just finished with him, because it isn’t like that. Seeing Eva get married made Jessica wistful. That was the reason Jessica seemed to be in a terrible mood in Paris.”

So obviously this “insider” is insane. They actually want me to believe that Jessica Alba broke up with Cash Warren because he wouldn’t marry her? That’s like telling me Rosie O’Donnell turned down a slice of pie because she was full. Why not just claim the Earth is flat? Or that Abraham Lincoln was a woman?

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  1. Queenbuzz

    Thirds??

  2. ndv

    hahaha…first comment ever on this site for me and….
    FIRST

  3. ndv

    damnit! i was beat by someone who didnt even have the balls to claim the spot!!!

    oh well. jessica alba is gorgeous huh.

  4. whitegold

    Yeah, that does seem a little hard to believe…so why doesn’t someone just ask Cash what the deal is?! I’m sure he’d be more than happy to get his 5 mins of fame and tell all.

  5. ToTellTheTruth

    Thank god they didn’t get married and breed. He looks like a fucking geek. Imagine how the kids would have looked…

  6. whatever

    I’ll marry her!

  7. Victor

    Son of a fuckin bitch, you have to be the dumbest fuck on this earth to admit that you aren’t ready to get married to Jessica Alba. That fuck needs to get his head examined. I would do everything imaginable to her sexually.

  8. Jow Blow

    he’s an idiot .

  9. Joe Blow

    I should learn how to spell

  10. elizabitch

    this ‘insider’ is trying to cover up that jessica’s a cold hearted bitch.

  11. Sportsdvl

    Remember, no matter how hot a woman is – some guy, some where is tired of her shit!

  12. nessa

    I heard that their relationship ended months ago…

    and eva longoria just recently got married.

    Way to go “source”

  13. Queenbuzz

    NDV…I guess that’s because I don’t have balls ;). Just didn’t want to say “First” and be 10th…hee hee. As for Jessica Alba, Cash Warren looks like a dork. She’s better off.

  14. Wait, your telling me Abraham Lincoln wasn’t a woman???

  15. 1234

    #11 yeah, cause nobodys perfect

  16. Cash Warren

    What can I tell you, she’s fridgid! It was like humping my sister! But least my sister got into it, at least a little! Of course with my sister it was hard to tell, you know with all her crying and what not!!!

  17. imasexyassgirl

    Lmao@ #11

  18. Steph

    three separate marriage articles today? holy hell.

  19. jess

    I bet she doesnt even like sex, I bet shes the biggest prude in the world thats why cash dumped her ass

  20. gay4girls

    Gross. I thought she was a dark, sexy, cold-hearted ice queen that devoured the hearts of men as appetizers. Now I’m thinking maybe she’s just some half-attractive broad with a job. Maybe 50 Cent will marry her. I’m not sure the science at CelebrityMatch.com is as sound as I thought it was. I assumed the study of “biorhythms” was a hard science since it contained the affix “bio,” but now I’m not so sure.

  21. jennifer

    In the end MOST men marry a woman for her personality.

    Why would a guy want to marry a hot girl with no personality?

    That’s called a hookup, not a life long commitment.

  22. havoc

    Come to me Jennifer…….

    I’ll do ya right.

    .

  23. Shut Up!

    @1 & 2…losers…absolute losers….

  24. lambman

    Wow so not only is this chick boring, but she’s clingly too?

    yawn

  25. lambman

    ps Cash is an idiot, everybody knows if you’re just a crew member dating a rich, famous actor you marry them then dump them for the spousal support…fool

  26. LayDeeBug

    Yeah, and that’s why she texted him saying “I’m not in love with you anymore.” Gee, I figured that love was something you couldn’t turn off like your I-pod. People, marriage is the kibosh. Get married and prepare for divorce.

    When will these kids learn?

  27. That’s a shame because I really think that I, like everyone else in the world, had a shot at her.

  28. How could you be in a bad mood in Paris? It’s the perfect place to find someone new.

    http://www.spraysinthecity.com

  29. Shut Up!

    @28, ask all the guys who have been in Paris, and they’ll tell you why they’re usually in a bad mood once they pull out!

  30. James

    Getting married to JAlba is something you just do, you don’t need to think about it. I hope the rumor is false, I was actually feeling sorry for Casshole.

  31. gay4girls

    I agree with my fellow misogamists on this and other postings.

  32. Dizzybenny

    WHAT??? Lincoln was a woman?!?
    that would explain lots then.

  33. gay4girls

    @26 You can turn your iPod off by holding down the play button. Love’s the same way.

  34. Manny

    You guys don’t actually believe he didn’t want to marry her, right?

  35. LayDeeBug

    #33 – What I MEANT was it shouldn’t be so easy to turn off, dodo. (Wait, YOU know what I meant, yer just messin with me). Guess I’m the dodo.

  36. Texas Tranny

    Very nice dress. I wonder if she wears sexy lingerie under that, or just boring cotton panties and bra.
    I would like to think that she had on something very sexy and hot under that dress. I know I would.

  37. #32 You just repeated my exact same post!!! What are you some kind of iraqni!!!

  38. pickles!

    Maybe he couldn’t marry someone with such a freakishly long second toe (see last pic)?

    I kid, I kid. She is flawless, mutant toe and all. He would be hot… if he was a 50 year old.

  39. Shallow Val

    #24 Manny,

    Marriage isn’t for everyone. Maybe he’s the smart one who felt that marriage is the relationship killer.

    Then again, since I think she’s a shallow, vapid, coozebag, she probably couldn’t wait to plan the HUGE HOLLYWOOD WEDDING that all shallow actresses plan. (Think Jennifer Lopez and her 12 weddings) I jest, folks.

  40. Manwhore

    Poor Jess. And a week or so ago I thought she’d become a cold hard bitch. You gotta give it to her for sticking to a guy for such a long period of time, though. At least she ain’t like them scallywag hookers Hilton or Hohan!

  41. gay4girls

    @35 No dodo here nor there. I’m just playing with meanings. Sorry if I offended . . . I’m trying not to pick fights today.

  42. LayDeeBog

    Me no get offended, me likee to play too. I never fight on the Fish (not really).

  43. Sammy

    hey way all that agresivity to the poor men, maybe Alba is a crazy B
    because she look nice , mean she is nice

  44. Cash Money Playah

    If there is any truth to the rumor then Cash just might be a closet case.

  45. Delly

    WHAT!!!, Abraham Lincoln wasn’t a woman ??? :S

  46. Ooba Gooba

    Fuck Jessica Alba. What a fucking bitch. That guy should dump her ass right away.

  47. kix

    Cash is smarter than he looks. I wouldn’t marry this bag of spoiled meat either.

  48. gay4girls

    @44 Probably.

    Oh, you mean the other Cash, the Warren guy. I thought you meant “CASH Money Playah,” which, as you may know, is you. As for the other guy, who’s to know?

  49. Ivana Tinkle

    *16 I swear to God that was the funniest post I have ever read! I think I peed a little!!

  50. What???

    Madness!! Fucking madness! Who the fuck wouldn’t want to lock down Jessica Alba? It’s Jessica Fucking Alba! This is not rocket science here! NO name rapper named after currency + Jessica Alba = fame, fourtune, and JESSICA FUCKING ALBA ON LOCKDOWN! What is this world coming too? There is no logical reasoning behind this. No one can tell me, ‘oh, you’re not cash warren. jessica alba might be a real bitch.’ Bullshit! It’s Jessica Alba, Goddess of this Planet! Mrs. Fantastic! Honey! Dark Fucking Angel! You gotta be kidding me!

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