- Tina Fey does Vogue. [Lainey Gossip]
- Kelly Ripa wants her husband to cheat on her. [PopEater]
- Kelly Clarkson continues her love affair with bacon. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]
- Josh Duhamel’s stripper mistress isn’t carrying his baby and can’t understand why she’s a media spectacle. Not counting all those interviews and accusations she made. [TheFABlife]
- Harrison Ford demonstrates you can fly medical supplies to Haiti without the aid of Scientology ministers. Who knew? [Starpulse]
- Simon Monjack is just trying to pull himself up by his bootstraps. That Brittany Murphy’s death bought him. [Celebslam]
- Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox and Mariska Hargitay fight domestic violence by having a kinky threeway in my mind. It’s the only way! [Just Jared]
- Sandra Bullock experiences epic pubic FAIL. [The Blemish]
- Gavin Rossdale’s penis likes red lipstick. [PopSugar]
- Katie Holmes finally makes Suri wears a coat. But only after buying her a Bentley. [Amy Grindhouse]
- Jon Gosselin has a 3-inch penis. [ICYDK]
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first | February 12, 2010 at 5:24 pm
yeahh first
andy | February 12, 2010 at 5:25 pm
Dang she’s still looking fine as eva!
chupacabra | February 12, 2010 at 5:27 pm
Ugly dress, ugly shoes. Not a good look for her. Tasteless.
Also, I saw boob stretch marks. NAST.
Love bird | February 12, 2010 at 5:29 pm
Why does that broad have so many damn stretchmarks on her tittays…they look hideous!
KV | February 12, 2010 at 5:32 pm
@love bird…I was wondering the same thing!
Parker | February 12, 2010 at 5:32 pm
Every time I dream of having anal sex with her she’s always bending over the kitchen counter making me a turkey sandwich. That’s why I love her.
LOLWUT | February 12, 2010 at 5:35 pm
@3 I saw that too (stretch marks)
WTF?
Anakin | February 12, 2010 at 5:36 pm
HOLY FUCK! THE STRETCHMARKS ON HER BOOBS….!!! Didn’t expect that one. they are huge huge huge!
Ace | February 12, 2010 at 5:40 pm
They look more like claw marks! Though I guess if I had those to suck on, I wouldn’t want to let go.
SO RIGHT | February 12, 2010 at 5:41 pm
Loved the dress until I got to the shoes — blech!
Lynne | February 12, 2010 at 5:49 pm
Of course she has stretch marks – she’s a mother! Duh!
kingofbeer | February 12, 2010 at 5:59 pm
I have some magic cream that will fix those stretch marks :)
give me a call Jess :)
lisa | February 12, 2010 at 6:00 pm
love that she wears a dress like that even though she has got stretch marks.
go alba!
sandie | February 12, 2010 at 6:02 pm
Those stretch marks are the bad kind… How come she exposed them?
sandie | February 12, 2010 at 6:03 pm
I think the outfit is cute and she looks pretty!
Truth | February 12, 2010 at 6:04 pm
See Jessica this is why we told you to abort that baby, ruined her body for good. What’s up with the white-face make-up?
The Dude | February 12, 2010 at 6:05 pm
Stretch mark titties and assne usually chill together. I’ve known a few chicks.
Rough: observe patterns & adapt | February 12, 2010 at 6:21 pm
Great! some role model she is. How will demented Xiaoqing going to get stretch-marks on her micro tits…
Roger | February 12, 2010 at 6:29 pm
only queer bitches worry about stretchmarks on a hot chick. When you’re naked and the lights are low, it doesn’t make a difference. But I’m guessing none of you virgins know that first hand.
Insatiable Peter | February 12, 2010 at 6:32 pm
“She was the first female head writer on Saturday Night Live.”
Yeah, and she wasn’t funny.
“She created her own show. She produces it. She stars in it. She represents it.”
And nobody watches it. Her politics keep her on NBC.
“She manages her family. She stays who she is.”
In the words of Chris Rock, “What do you want a cookie?”
Tina Fey couldn’t touch Lucille Ball’s, Carol Burnette’s, Mary Tyler Moore’s, Gilda Radner’s, Penny Marshall’s or even Amy Heckerling’s collective bras.
Anon | February 12, 2010 at 6:33 pm
Wow roger.
I’m convinced you’re a stud.
Galtacticus | February 12, 2010 at 6:48 pm
Damn! She’s gorgeous! Are you sure she’s mexican!?
Darth | February 12, 2010 at 6:52 pm
This is how the Clovis human was ment to be.Unfortunally those pilgrim fathers literally fucked it up.
His Huge Greatness Himself | February 12, 2010 at 7:00 pm
To the pilgrims in the new land this was the forbidden fruit.But they violated my terms again and again.
DKNY | February 12, 2010 at 7:10 pm
I’d sodomize her until my penis fell off.
Then I’d start all over again.
Nero | February 12, 2010 at 7:17 pm
I’m totally astonished! What a nice pair of shoes!
Humpinfrog | February 12, 2010 at 7:29 pm
Bbbrrruuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmssssssssskkkkkyyyyyyy! Motor boatin’. It’s the new cure for stretchmarks. Alba?
Rhialto | February 12, 2010 at 7:31 pm
I was just thinking that it would be nice if somebody would make me a nice taco and bring me some Corona beer.And then i just stumbled upon this post.Coincidence?!
gen | February 12, 2010 at 9:36 pm
I love Harrison Ford. Why are all male stars today absolute pussies? Where did the Harrison Fords and Clint Eastwoods go? Not only were they majorly HOT and MANLY when they were younger, but they seemed like decent guys.
Now were stuck with pansy-ass Robert Pattinson, that funny looking Taylor Lautner, that strange mother fucker (literally) Shia LaBoeuf. What the fuck?
maudina | February 12, 2010 at 9:56 pm
Jessica Alba can’t possibly look bad, but she’s not looking her best there. Her teeth are yellowish, and for some reason, her forehead is two shades darker than the rest of her face. Need a new make-up artist?
maudina | February 12, 2010 at 9:58 pm
Oh i just saw the stretchmarks! Babies do that unfortunately. Dermablend?
noname | February 12, 2010 at 9:59 pm
Oh for gods sake of course she’s going to have stretch marks on her boobs she had a f*cking baby. Celebrities are human too you know, I don’t know why we all have this thing that they’re “perfect”.
mark | February 12, 2010 at 10:18 pm
there is nothing wrong with chicks getting stretch marks…but when you are a celebrity and everyone is looking at every inch of you under a microscope…do us all a favor and cover that shit up. what is she trying to prove? that stretch marks are ok? fuck all that girl power you go girl bullshit. no dude wants to see that on a famous chick that used to be hot before a baby fucked her up and good it looks like. i will never get the image of those fucking wolf claw marks on what was once a beautiful set of boobs. thanks a lot baby…i hope you had fun sucking on those. you ruined it for all of us.
Roger | February 12, 2010 at 10:30 pm
Thanks Anon. I don’t consider myself a stud, but I’m flattered you do. I don’t swing that way, tho. I’m just sayin, anyone who’d kick Alba out of their bed because of stretchmarks is a liar, or gay.
sick and sad perverted feller | February 12, 2010 at 11:35 pm
She has horribly scarred tits with all those rotten stretch marks. She should retire. There are plenty new little mexican types to take her place. If you need something like that in your life. *fart*
Kristin | February 12, 2010 at 11:41 pm
stretch marks. that can be her stripper name
Alli Watermelon | February 13, 2010 at 12:20 am
*GASP* like none of you have ever seen stretch marks? Really? I’m more concerned with who did her make-up. Her forehead is darker than the rest of her face. And she needs to fresh’n up on some White Strips for her teeth. Those are things she CAN help.
Kimberly | February 13, 2010 at 12:24 am
Are those stretch marks??
Weird. There goes her career. Eh, it was lucrative while it lasted.
Shari | February 13, 2010 at 1:49 am
People commenting about stretch mark and her being ‘nasty’ and ‘ugly’ now are ignorant and probably fat virgins. She had a kid people, your boobs get bigger and most of the time, you get stretch marks from it – she’s human just like the rest of us. It’s not like you choose to have them, you’re idiots.
RtSS | February 13, 2010 at 2:24 am
I would make some nice delightful, panty tea from her soft delicates. I have the water boiling right now. Jessica, would you mind taking off your panties? Ah, I can smell the beautiful aroma now…
Kimberly | February 13, 2010 at 3:23 am
And I’m sure that people who are calling out others’ comments about the stretch marks have stretch marks themselves and need someone like Jessica Alba as their misery’s company.
Stretch marks are not pretty. There. Her career was based on a pretty face and hot, tight body. With one of those going, she’s not going to get the same attention. There.
social bookmarking | February 13, 2010 at 4:17 am
Good to see her smiling, she has a beautiful smile.
I have nothing nice to say about the makeup and outfit.
Eva | February 13, 2010 at 8:14 am
Makeup is horrible. It’s like they ignored the forehead and plastered it on the rest of her face.
I like the outfit and boots, it’s quirky and interesting.
What are you guys talking about? I don’t see any stretch marks.
Clean Whites | February 13, 2010 at 8:22 am
Wow!! she is really looking nice in these clothes.
youth&beautybrigade | February 13, 2010 at 10:27 am
@41:
i’m pretty sure her body still looks better than, like, 95% of all americans…
sandra | February 13, 2010 at 11:32 am
You all are so ignorant commenting on how gross she is because of some stretch marks. Unfortunately, one of the aftershocks of having to carry, give birth to, and nurse babies, like the female gender has to do, is getting stretch marks (most of the time)! So what! Your mom had to most likely see some of those after giving birth to your sad, pathetic asses.
Gems | February 13, 2010 at 12:12 pm
who the fuck did her make-up, stevie wonder???? (sorry, i love you stevie, but leave the concealer alone)
Watch Ugly Betty | February 13, 2010 at 1:13 pm
I still think she’s gorgeous. A few stretches here and there but nothing that can’t be fixed, eh?
streeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetch | February 13, 2010 at 5:02 pm
Geez couldn’t they cover up those grotesque stretch marks? Man that whoring out of wedlock semi-bastard baby ruined her. God I Hate stretch marks on a woman. Comes from poor gentetics in the skin department ladies. You need to learn to not eat so much when you are knocked up, you greedy lard ass cows.
Stop blaming it on men too. We are not the one’s eating all those nasty concoctions and blaming it on an unborn baby. Women can be so evil – and streeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetchy!
panic away review | February 13, 2010 at 7:42 pm
Stretch marks are part of being a woman. Jess is now a mother and she looks wonderful.
panic away review