Jessica Alba poses in GQ

May 16th, 2007 // 99 Comments

Jessica Alba has a nice little photoshoot with GQ which you can check out here. Although you have to hand it to them for managing to take somebody as hot as Jessica Alba and making her look like a stroke victim. Is uncontrollable drooling supposed to be sexy? Because if it is, I’ve got a grandmother that would knock their socks off.


  1. Raeyne

    They squished her head! It looks absolutely ridiculous and un-natural.. Over the top photoshopped.

  2. WowJustWow

    What a tool.

    I’m sure her mother is proud.

  3. KatieKates

    Looks like she had too much novocaine.

  4. btreese

    I want to lick her spleen SO badly….

  5. WowJustWow

    #47. capt.obvious.
    Good points.

    Doesn’t help when Terry Richardson is taking the photos.. He’s a little like Michael Jackson, if you know what I mean…. hint hint.

  6. judithjetson

    OMG! Did someone say she’s TOO skinny?!?!?? Not an OUNCE of fat??!?! LMAO. Christ, maybe two of her ribs are showing, but she’s still got a majorly round tummy and can’t you people see how WIDE her hips/saddlebag thighs/ass is? Since when is being a fatass attractive? Or have the rules changed? Am I on the wrong site? Thank Jesus she’s slimmed down a bit, she needed to. Those pix of her in the white suit are probably some of the most UNFLATTERING photos I’ve ever seen of any celeb. I feel bad for her. She’s fine in the others, but the white suit is just wrong.

    God bless America – where you can be a shitty actress, marginally hot, but drool all over yourself in a tight tee and still be considered spank-worthy.

  7. Josie

    I don’t care if she is thinny, it’s just i wouldn’t like to be in her situation about always fighthing with your weight, eating just salad, bagel etc…just give her sometimes to get older and she will take her weight again! it’s like teens, it’s just a bad period! and I’m agree with the others who said that she was looking much better with fat on her bones!

  8. slash

    I think she looks pretty damn good, but that ugly-ass $500 swimsuit they’re trying to sell doesn’t. And yeah, I’m sure they’re going for “sexy” with the drool shot (’cause chicks that drool are hot, everybody knows this, that’s why Britney is such a sensation and Lohan is the hottest woman in the world) but it mostly says “Oopsie, must remember to press lips together while swallowing next time.” Or possibly, “No, you can’t have any of my water, even though I don’t really need it anyway, and just to prove it, I’m gonna let most of it come right back out of my mouth, just for funsies.”

  9. Danklin

    #56, you go to anorexic group meetings to pick up dates dont you?

  10. juliepaulino

    she looks like a retard learning to drink without a straw for the first time

  11. SMITH

    Eat some food!

  12. titsonsnack

    Oh wait it’s Terry Richardson. Now it all makes sense. As in, I realize why it’s so god damned lame.

  13. whither The_Squizz?

    How is it even possible that The_Squizz hasn’t logged on to say she smells like piss?

  14. Phazon

    That water thing is very strange

    and when did Jessica stop eating?

  15. Sj

    Who the hell is the photographer? Almost all the photos make her look terrible. Her face looks so stupid. And the whole layout of the photo is crap. Why the hell would you make her drool?

  16. I agree with all of you!!!!! she do not look sexy at all! This picture sucks, and She does need to gain major weight! TOO HARD LOOKING!

  17. 15piecesofflare

    Finally, a picture that demonstrates the dialtone going on in her brain…

  18. sxbby963

    Are you all frickin’ nuts? She looks fabulous. I admit, the water dripping down her chin looks a little stupid, but the rest of the photos are great.

    If I had a body like that, I’d walk around naked continuously…they could arrest me and everything and I’d say it was part of my religion or something to go naked.

  19. elatedpornstar

    Let’s face it, Maxim is a shitty magazine to begin with and the only reason they would do this is so people would actually give a damn about the thing in the first place. It’s a nice garner for attention because it seems to have paid off.

    Unfortunately, their credibility seems to have gone out the window with this one as well.

    But that’s like suggesting they had any to begin with.

  20. elatedpornstar

    Fuck, wrong article..

  21. jennifer

    um.., sexy rib cage?

  22. Hanna

    Terry Richardson really needs to stop taking pictures. He portrays all women like they’re 2 seconds away from getting raped. Does anyone remember his show from two years ago; the one where he convinced us (and all these barely legal art school chicks) that pictures of him getting blow jobs qualified as art?

  23. happy_bunny

    Wow. She even looks hot when she’d drooling and starved and making a Terry Schaivo face.

    Beautiful as she is, she really doesn’t make a very good model. Magazines should stick to using models as models. And why is GQ doing a layout on women’s clothes anyway?

  24. john

    Oh I get it…the water bottle is supposed to be a peen and the water is supposed to be cum…wow! so original…so hot…

  25. osuaaron

    It’s a terry richardson shoot. That guy is a certified freak-pervert.

  26. holymoses

    bitch is fug. don’t get the big dealio

  27. Morgan

    ok, can ANYONE honestly say they find the pic of her gnawing on the rose hot? she looks frickin scary and just fug! her stomach has always been bulgy and really weirdly shaped…she was hottest in dark angel.

  28. annie

    bitch DOES look like a stroke victim.. or just plain retarded as fuck

  29. miklo

    well send grandma right over cause i just might… you know… it’s so wrong, but feels so right. Oh, oh, oh… i can’t… stop… cumming… drat, dribbled on my keyboard again.

    drooling water, if i was from say, croatia, and didn’t know who this Jessica was, i’d be like “hmmm…. i wonder why this pervert would put a bikini on their retarded family member like that,

    just a though.

  30. J

    I always thought if anyone could look sexy dry-humping a dog and drooling it would be Jessica, but sadly I am proven wrong.

    She looks alright in the D&G swimsuit though.

  31. HotDogger

    Bitch is so stupid, she forgot to swallow!

    Or else the water ran away from her fugliness, and she was too sad to stop it.

  32. getyourhandoutofmycat

    Oh I get it! Victor made her drink her douche water…

  33. ack!!! how could she have agreed to do this?

  34. OK – she is very cute – but if she’s doing these poses, why not just pose in Playboy? The whole “I’m too good to pose in PB” is bullshit!!!!! WTF is she doing here that’s different? Idiot with tits. Oh yeah, that’s me!!

  35. OK – she is very cute – but if she’s doing these poses, why not just pose in Playboy? The whole “I’m too good to pose in PB” is bullshit!!!!! WTF is she doing here that’s different? Idiot with tits. Oh yeah, that’s me!!

  36. this girl is ugly
    she looks nothing like a guy
    where o where are my little
    English lads
    oh where, oh where,
    can they be?

  37. sweetnsnooty

    She’s hot but whoever came out with that dumb idea with the water running out of her mouth ought to be shot, dumb.

  38. Tracey

    This is chick is crazy! one minute shes suing Playboy for putting her on the cover in a bikini because shes “not trying to portray that image anymore” YET, shes in a bikini once again… DUMBA$$!

  39. captain obvious

    Disgusting. Her ribs are practically breaking through her skin, she has NO tits, and her eyebrows look like squished caterpillers. Yeah thats really hot. I thought guys liked curves? Well if not then next time I wanna pick up a guy, I’ll dress up as a concentration camp survivor and drool water out of my mouth like a retard.

  40. Forbidden

    Jessica Alba hot?? you must me kiding right? even in a “sexy” photoshoot for GQ magazine she’s unable to look hot. Maybe she looked hot in the movie Sin City with all the makeup/stylists/ass showing and shaking etc but that’s all. There’s nothing hot about Jessica Alba.

  41. Forbidden

    Fuck, she ain’t even cute. And what a fucking stick. You know there’s something wrong with a woman’s body when her boobs, waist and hips are equally as wide. Hot bodies usually look like this )(, Jessica Alba’s body is like a 12 year old boy’s ||. Yuck, and that scary face. Seriously Superfish, how the fuck can you say this chick is hot!? OVERRATED – YES, A LOT. HOT? – NO, NOT AT ALL.

  42. xd

    She looks like a latino Teri Hatcher.

  43. annie


  44. Alba is sooo ugly

    Dude what the hell? Alba is SOOOO FUGLY!!!! She looks like an anorexic alien!!! Her nose looks different again. Did she get another NOSE JOB? PROOF

    check out this celeb plastic surgery site with her old nose shes ugly now.

    ewww what an ugly pic! She looks cracked out.

  45. i know it

    Oh and I love how she says how people need to get past her hotness and start taking her seriously. Ok, I guess she’s gotten her wish since she looks fucking fugly as shit now.

  46. Nikky Raney

    everyone always says i look just like her. so whenever i see posts of her of this site I get happy. I’m like. Look! It’s My Twin! ♥

  47. Nikky Raney

    I like showing pictures of me and her to my boyfriend and having him figure out which one is me and which one is her. :].. he gets it mixed up a lot.

  48. Lol

    Wow Nicky, I’m sure you look JUST like her. Post a picture and we’ll be the judge.

  49. Brian


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