Jessica Alba ‘muzzling’ Hayden Panettiere not at all like I imagined (No pudding, jet packs.)

October 3rd, 2008 // 88 Comments

Jessica Alba continues her self-righteous quest to encourage people who think The Hills is real to vote in this latest video for MTV. It also features a muzzled Hayden Panettiere which, I’ll admit, almost made me feel like I was falling in love again for the very first time. Until I remembered celebrity political ads are the equivalent of Michael J. Fox performing a vasectomy: They both end with your brain getting stabbed by someone famous.

superficial

  1. Nugaloopagus

    Don’t quit your day job.

  2. edidas

    I hate this self righteous bitch.

  3. Joe

    wow, hollywood has taken on a new level of bad and scary.

  4. Joe

    wow, hollywood has taken on a new level of bad and scary.

    http://willtheymakeit.net

  5. Diesel

    Umm, lets get this straight. Celebrity blogs are a notch below celebrity political activism in terms of irrelevance, no?

  6. Spinna

    I cringed.

  7. UM

    Um.

    How retarded IS this country?

  8. Sherelle

    This is funny. I live in Australia and here its illegal NOT to vote, you actually get a fine. But he’s right, your letting people that “think The Hills is real” vote. hahaha

    i hate jessica alba

  9. TBass

    This makes me Really not attracted to Jessica Alba…i didn’t even think that was possible!

  10. wtafuc

    44, These people want Obama like no other, muslim paranoia is not the point.
    My question is, ‘WHY THE FUCK WAS THAT SOOO LONG?’
    what a horrible piece of shit
    acting: shit
    writing:shit
    They started calling it a mask halfway through, loosing any catchphrase reminder ad possibilities. Someone that encourages to vote should not be voting.

  11. dan

    thats gotta be the best acting jessica has ever done.

  12. v tard

    I know this is supposed to parody QVC but…they really come across as having acting abilities no better than your average high school play. I hear Hayden’s acting was so bad in the latest Heroes episodes it actually got mentioned in a local paper here where we don’t even get the latest Heroes episodes, can any of you confirm?

  13. Ted from LA

    #21,
    Another classic.

  14. magpie

    that’s hot

  15. lizzzzzaa

    jessica alba was never meant to do comedy

  16. blp

    Why didn’t they put that on her BEFORE she released that song!

  17. friendlyfires

    The Stupid Vote wins whether they vote or not, you see the Stupid ones voted four years ago, ya wanna’ repeat? Where’s my passport?

  18. tomw

    That was really bad, I guess now that her cooter resembles roast beef she has no need to show talent anymore….

  19. missywissy

    I’m sorry, but Hayden Pene….. whatever, looks like a 13 year old girl going to a school dance. She even kind of acts like one in this not-so-watchable video.

  20. ramona putz

    Just when I thought Hayden Bullshitiere had reached the pinnacle of asinine shtick,(remember the dolphin incident) she outdoes herself . Oh by the way, Vern Troyer was asking about you, he’s never done it with another midget before.

  21. Nathiest

    I agree with #1

    retarded. I’m not voting now.

  22. hamachuk

    The arrogance of these fucks thinking they can sway voters. We care about her tits, not her thoughts, so shut up Jessica.

  23. Sarah Palin

    Let us pray that our brave troops stay safe while doing Gods work. Amen!

    (applause)

    Furthermore…

    (applause)

    After I’m elected I will, in addition to my VP duties, head the new National Faith Based Electorate Institute to ensure that future candidates are truly Christian men and women seeking to advance Christianity in the form of new initiatives such as Crusades and Inquisitions. After all, only REAL Christians should be armed across the planet. We willl ensure that the entire planet believes in Christianity, ushering in the end times!

    (long applause)

    Vote McCain (Palin)

    Amen!

    (Amen!)

  24. Joejam2845

    When are the Hollyweirddo’s going to realize we don’t give a Fuck what they think?

  25. cordell walker

    soo lame…
    on the other hand, i wish i could see those 2 relegated from movies to infomercials, where they could replace that american legend, billy mays, and advertise kaboom, orange glow, and all the other crap, but in bikinis and on their knees. yeah, that would be pretty cool and much better value to society than this misguided attempt.

  26. ralphie wiggum

    you mexican tramp, shut the FUCK UP

  27. fucking_painful

    this is the stupidest shit I’ve ever seen. I used to like jessica but now she just annoys the shit out of me.

  28. BrandiLye

    Thank you, Dan.

    It WAS the best acting she’s ever done. What the hell?

  29. BrandiLye

    And please, PLEASE for the sake of youth, don’t name your kids after abstract concepts! Augh.

    The names of fruit are barely tolerable and Jessica goes and turns her kid into a headcase before nursery school.

    Otherwise, rock on J.A.

  30. Sarah

    Ok…seeing as I’m praying this is seriously supposed to be a parody film, the acting is supposed to be exaggerated…they’re making fun of the traditional infomercials on TV. So making fun of their acting is pointless, seeing as it’s their exaggerated acting.

    And…wow. To the first person who said you don’t need to speak to vote….you’re a dumb ass. It’s a figure of speech, as in your vote is you speaking out for your beliefs and who you want to lead our country. And it doesn’t matter if you don’t like them; they at least pretend to care that the country gives a shit about who they elect. More than most of Hollywood now.

  31. Janine

    Wow, Jessica is an unbelievable terrible actress! You have to see someone attempt comedy before you realize how bad they really are.

  32. SanityInamerica

    It’s the Fucking Retards who Complain about the Nominees and say ” I’m not voting , because I’m protesting the Election” that are the Problem in this country.
    YOU have a Vote… IT does count… There are more choices than just Obama or McCain. Make a Difference and put the American Political System on it’s ear,, Vote for an Independent. Write in Fucking Mickey Mouse if you must. But for the sake of America Vote for something……………

  33. Astrid

    Alba, please fuck off and die.

  34. Cornelius

    Alba’s “acting” sucks even in an internet meme. And she gets paid millions to do it on the big screen.

    God I hate her. And besides, sexiest woman alive my ass.

  35. Jessica is an unbelievable terrible actress! You have to see someone attempt comedy before you realize how bad they really are

  36. well she still cant act for shit.

  37. jessica!! she is so hot

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