Jessica Alba wears a bikini, could be pregnant

June 2nd, 2008 // 64 Comments

I’m not a doctor (Actually yes. Yes I am.), but I’ve got a sneaking suspicion that Jessica Alba might be pregnant. And I’m not sure where or when these were taken, but whoever’s job it is to hide in bushes and take pictures of women in bikinis, I want in. I mean sure, my current job title of Ferrari-Racing Breast Massager sounds pretty good, but it gets tiresome after awhile. I think I’d much prefer hiding in somebody’s garbage can for a week just to get a shot of them in their bikini. Alas, I only dare dream of living such a glamorous life.

superficial

  1. Ted from LA

    Her milk came in early.

  2. jaayou

    Frist!

  3. The White Urkle

    When she is knocked up, she is not nearly as hot. And I think knocked up chicks are kind of hot.

  4. Quinn

    Holy Mother of Pearl

  5. Kellie

    That doesn’t look like her at all.

  6. sg

    looks like brit-brit

  7. Coco

    Lady, I can see the baby’s head, close your legs!

  8. crewmancross

    seriously? if you’re gonna post the same thing as every other site, at least make an original headline! I dunno if WWTD made it up or if they stole it too, but i know i saw this same story, with the headline “JESSICA ALBA MIGHT BE PREGNANT” this afternoon. Come on man…

  9. Triv

    #9 Well how many ways does one have to come up with to say Might be Pregnant… theres only so many ways lol.

  10. Truth doctor

    Hey #9

    That’s a pretty generic headline that sort of makes sense, given the pictures. I highly doubt there’s a vast conspiracy of headline stealing at work here, something tells me it’s the most obvious conclusion to make.

    Are you also upset that STOP signs on the street don’t have more variety?

  11. crewmancross

    heh, i’d have laughed at a fat joke. :D

    could have even gone the jennifer love hewit route :D

  12. Catalina

    good for her… other people have kids and they shouldn’t… she looks pretty good too for a mom to be:)

  13. Dura

    I’d still hit it.

  14. d

    Pregnancy is doing phenomenal things for her tits (not that they needed help in the first place).

    And I would definitely still hit it.

  15. d

    Pregnancy is doing phenomenal things for her tits (not that they needed help in the first place).

    And I would definitely still hit it.

  16. Superfluous

    That she is lounging in a kiddie pool — I just love her so much right now. Could a super hot chick be more chill? No. No, they could not.

    P.S. Since it seems to be the trend to say so: “I am a girl.”

  17. Brother Alba

    She looks like she is on siesta.

  18. Superfluous

    P.P.S. Turns out that it is not in fact a kiddie pool and that I am, in fact, blind. Happens.

  19. Limp pee Pee

    What a fat pig.

  20. Mutton Chop

    Judging by the frowny-puss she has worn during this pregnancy, if that baby doesn’t turn out to be the cutest, brightest, most talented cherub in the world, Jessica is gonna be mighty pissed….I wouldn’t be at all surprised if she did a Britney…….well nah, not jessica, the hot…even with a baby, she could never get that greasy….could she? I don’t know…she could…only she would still be hot…Britney is just old, stupid and sad.

  21. ceasarx

    Is this a kiddie pool or is she floating in some kind of a purple pond? She’s got to be the only brown chick on earth who works on her tan. Unless, of course, she’s back to staging bikini photo ops.

  22. Me

    You can tell she is having contractions (I assume they are harmless because she seems to have no care in the world) from the way her stomach looks hard and rigid.

  23. vitobonespur

    She’s beautiful. Lovely Milk Duds.

  24. Chupacabra

    *BARF!*

  25. Two things mexicans love to do:
    Swim at the beach with their clothes on.
    Wear bikinis when pregnant and Expose their swollen, overused uteruses and bellies to UV.

  26. gotmilk?

    she looks like a dead & bloated hippo. after seeing that, i’ll make sure never to have kids.

  27. Rizzz

    Ha ha, the comments on the pictures are in French.

    They make her say funny things, ha ha.

    Too bad American retards like yourselves can’t understand French, ha ha.

  28. ph7

    Note to hot, wet bitches: stop breeding. You are ruining your temple intended solely for your man’s pleasure and visual stimulus, AND your offspring and minivans will clog the roads of my commute.

  29. blackout

    Jeesh, what a big beer gut.

  30. American Retard

    @28 Mon dieu!! We should we bother to learn French, when you surrender monkeys already learned important English phrases such as: “Americans please help us! The Germans have over run our country again! Please please save us. You can get laid by our women for a chocolate bar.”

  31. rikki

    These photos are super creepy. How do these photographers NOT get arrested for stalking and voyerism? She is obviously on private property. CREEPY!

  32. Suispascequetupensesquejesuis

    @28, @31

    a very mature response to a very mature statement

  33. nontuestunvraicon

    #33 The first remark deserved the response it got.
    #28 Now go prosecute Brigitte Bardot some more.

  34. Cash Warren

    I’d buy that for a pesco.

    Wait a minute, I did.

  35. Another celebrity parent... just what the world needs

    Do you know that this woman is planning on having a night nanny, a day nanny is given of course all celebs have daytime nannies I mean who would raise the children of Hollywood, the parents… oh come on that’s just ridiculous. But Alba is going one step further and getting “a night nanny to help acclimate [her} to having a baby” those are HER words. So baby cries at night and Alba is in her soundproof bedroom (which is the size of your whole house) sound asleep as Cash fondles her giant boobs, gotta enjoy those while you can man, before they shrink back to modest b cups, and who gets up to hold the baby? That’s right the night nanny. The night nanny stays up all night while the parents sleep like…babies and she feeds the baby, holds the baby, and helps the baby fall asleep. Why do they need a night nanny? Well, because it’s really, really, hard to be a multi millionaire who never needs to work again and can always sell her baby’s first picture to People for another cool million, to care for ONE little baby and of course the young healthy mother needs a GIANT staff to help “acclimate” her to such a super stressful situation. I mean it’s not like many parents who have to work 50-60 hours a week just to manage to pay the bills and have SEVERAL infants don’t it all by themselves or anything.

    It’s fucking disgusting how lazy these retard celebretools are. No wonder all their kids grow up to be train wrecks. Guess what bitches, a baby needs its parents, not some fucking rotating hired help, and people grow up to be a little fucked up when they are raised by strangers and their own parents schedule them in for “family time” like fucking appointments at a good damn hair salon.

    ALBA you are going to be a MOTHER soon, grow the fuck up and take care of your own fucking kid will ya, you can afford to live off your millions and never work again, there is NO fucking excuse for you to not be able to get up in the night and tend to YOUR baby just like every other decent mother in the world.

    Real decent mom’s who take care of themselves and don’t get fucking huge when they are pregenant bouce back to their former shape because tending to the baby day and night is exhausting and it burns a fuckload of calories. Celebs hire nannies to do all that “parenting” shit and ignore their baby opting to spend all day working out like crazy with their personal trainer just to look hot on the red carpet again, when they could get back into shape just being a real fucking parent. A baby weighs about as much as a 8-10 pound dumbell. Think about it.

  36. nodonuts

    preggo ladies are NASTY

  37. justifiable

    #38 wasn’t breastfed.

  38. Chabadabada

    # 36 Dude, that was a long comment. What about the dads though?

    # 37 …, why bother?

  39. Another celebrity parent... just what the world needs

    #39. Ya I could have made that comment way more concise, but oh well. Of course the dad shoul help out equally I said parents in there a few times I think (even I don’t feel like reading my whole comment, lol), but she made the night nanny comment and she’s the famous one so I lay it on her mostly, but of course the dad and dad’s in general should help out and do their fair share, this though is clearly a case of a lazy spoiled brat and her douche husband clearly lives off her pregnant arse. They are both idiots.

    I just thik it’s funny, in a horrible way, that once the baby is born the nannies will care for it mainly except for when they “feel like holding it” and ALBA’ and prolly her husband’s main concern will be ALBA getting her ass back into shape, when if she and her husband just took care of the baby themselves all that hard work would get her figure back in no time and allow them to, and this is gonna sound crazy, actually be a parent to their child… I know, I know it’s craaaaazy!

    Almost all celebrity parents SUCK SHIT!

  40. Himmler

    Dumb broad.
    I can’t imagine it’s a good idea for her to be sunbathing her stomach when she’s that far along. She’s gonna burn that kid in the oven.

    I AM HIMMLER

  41. Jac

    uh heads up superficial writer, she’s been preggers for awhile!

  42. Jac

    uh heads up superficial writer, she’s been preggers for awhile!

  43. extracheeseplease

    Fat Chola!

  44. snarky

    I have new found respect for Alba; I just watched the movie “The Eye”, and I have to say, she was really good in it & it was a good, creepy movie. Maybe she’s just better in those kinds of roles, vs just playing some tart in a romantic comedy. She was much more likeable as some haunted blind chick than her usually snotty snob, “I’m the hot chick” roles.

  45. Yet Another Bimbo Reproducing

    #45

    She was good playing a blind girl because she is too dumb and boring to have expression in her eyes, wait, expression, period.

  46. Rex

    Mmmm, not her fan. I saw her profile on “S e e k i n g R i c h . c o m ” last week. “She is already in relationship with a young billionaire on our site”, according to the officials of that site.

  47. charm

    Am I the only one that is going to comment on her dorky facial expression? Gah.

  48. charm

    Am I the only one that is going to comment on her dorky facial expression? Gah.

  49. Tanya

    lol she’s gonna be soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo pissed!!

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