Jessica Alba likes old gross people

Superficial / August 23, 2005

This is horribly disturbing, but Jessica Alba has admitted that she’s into old and disgusting men. When asked about her ideal dream partners, she replied, “Morgan Freeman, Sean Connery, Robert Redford, Michael Caine. I have this thing for older men. They’ve been around and know so much.” I guess now would be a good time to let Jessica know that I’m actually a filthy rich actor who’s 98-years old. Not that it matters though, because I could never be with a woman whose ideal lover is Morgan Freeman. That’s like saying my ideal car is a trash can with wheels attached. It might be awesome for the first day or so, but then you’d realize that it drives like crap and it’s a fucking trash can.