Jessica Alba kicks off the bikinis

June 1st, 2010 // 58 Comments

Here’s Jessica Alba in a bikini over Memorial Day weekend and since the paparazzi apparently took one shot of her ass then called it quits – You really can’t fault that logic. – I added four other bikini-clad women of questionable celebrity status: Kelly Rowland, Nicole Bahls, Kim Zolciak and Jaimie Hilfiger. Now we can stand here all day debating whether or not any of them are even famous, or we could stare directly into Brazilian Kim Kardashian’s butt cheeks until they predict the future. I don’t know about you guys, but I’d kind of like to know when the robots eventually enslave us using nothing but bright images on shiny monitors. — HA! Like that would work. *stares intently*


  1. hell yeah

    yea I’m a first-tard

  2. dk

    Smart pap the ass is epic..

  3. Double_L


  4. Double_L

    hmmm not first i see.

    Alba-ass maybe but wtf is that moob behind her??

  5. dk

    the Hilfiger girl is relevant??

  6. She looks amazing. You expect Nicole Kidman to be “back in shape” two days after having her baby (with her miraculous 10 lb weight gain). But Jessica looked like the rest of the world while pregnant. Of course she’s young and in good shape – and that helps.

  7. Mister Bored

    Damn. After a kid, she snapped back something fierce. I’m impressed.

  8. raging

    I have sat literally next to this beauty in a restaurant and she is as devastatingly gorgeous in person as she is in pictures. That must be one fun pussy to poke on.

  9. sin

    that Nicole Bahls looks scary in the face. If it weren’t for other photos that prove she is a real female, that face makes her looks like a tranny.

  10. Uh, I love the yellow suit.

  11. Well..very beauty…..

  12. Oh, she is so beautiful and sexy

  13. tc

    She is so gorgeous and beautiful.

    I just want to hug her and kiss her.

    …..and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her and fuck her.

  14. Rhialto

    Excellent work my friends sun and beaches.

  15. captain america

    it isn’t special at all in europe……..

  16. Darth

    I was in one of my former lives a mighty Asian conqueror.Who was i? The babydoll who’s gonna give me the right answer must have probably been my favorite concubine in that same live.

  17. she looks so hot in a bikini
    I love her she is amaizin women of america special her style and smile she is the best of thebest and more sexy for anjelina

  18. Nero

    Was that in the cavemen time?

  19. Rhialto

    These questions are too difficult for these Hollywood bitches.Ask them questions like what color bikini they’re wearing for example.

  20. Parker

    I want to flush out Jessica’s rectum with my penis-shaped hose.

  21. cellphone

    Is that a giant or is that butt just tiny in the 4th pic?

  22. bimbamboing

    And then what? Are you gonna marry that same babydoll!?

  23. Darth


  24. Tommy gun

    Darth my guess is Genghis Khan. I’ll marry you as long as you take it up the butt.

  25. HackSaw

    I’d hit em all.

  26. wow

    That Nicole bahls is one ugly dude.

  27. bob

    #2 or #11 –

    Cumming in either of those asses must be as close to heaven as you can get in this life.

    Holy hell what cheeks!!! Dayumm!

  28. Anonymous

    Alba has no career. It’s long gone.

  29. Tek

    Alba doesn’t look bad, but she’s so 2005 that she’s achieved ‘MEH’ status. Oh and her boobs are gone. Kelly hasn’t been relevant since 2002, but she looked the best out of the 5 in my opinion.

    IDK who the rest are. The one in yellow has a man face, but the body is not bad. The blonde in black’s body looks like a melting marshmallow. And the other one is the definition of plain jane.

  30. bar room hero

    Me gusta mucha.

  31. Fart Jokes

    Nicole Ba(h)LLs is ugly as fuck, I wouldn’t even let her suck my big toe. And for those who say big asses are sexy i wish that the next chick with such an ass is on top of you would take a large dump on your face or chest, cauze that’s pretty much it the secret of big asses the bigger the ass the bigger the dump storage. Bon appetit and as George Carlin would say go fuck yourself.

  32. gen


    um… I hope you’re joking about asses being where shit is stored…

    Jessica Alba bores me to tears. I can’t even work up a catty comment about her. Too boring.

  33. mikhael

    can someone explain me the change in her skin color? what is the proper sequence of images here? either she became unbelievably tan in one session, or she went swimming or something and her black make-up washed off? why hasn’t nobody comment on this? what’s going on with her? she look great either way though.

  34. turd da third

    yellow #2 is definately more HUMPalicious, black #4 needs a wheelbarrow to hold that ugly f-ing gut she has hanging in front of her.

  35. rita

    @35 it’s because they’re two different people. the first four pictures are jessica alba and the next four pictures (in the blue bikini) are kelly rowland.

    not sure why fish decided to continue as the other three bitches are hella beat. the fourth girl is NASTY fat, the third one creeps me out with her masculine face and huge, weird ass (although hers, unlike KK’s looks real), and the fifth one is like what i see when i go to the beach (and my beach is in connecticut and populated mostly by tired, thirty and fortysomething housewives and their kids).

  36. Nicole Bahls = post-op dude. No lie. Say his last name out loud; B A L L S

  37. Strange coast, build a good

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  40. Marcus

    I like her, ALOT…

  41. Deacon Jones

    Wow, I would do unholy things to Nicole Bahls. Disgusting things.

    Oh, and I always wanted at least a blowjob from that Kim skank until I saw her in this bikini. Awful

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  43. GQ Guy

    Kim Zolciak looks like the best Fuck of the bunch.

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  45. These pictures looks like they are fake and not of Jessica Alba actually.

  46. Jessica Alba. I want to have your baby! :)

  47. gossiplover

    Wow Jessica Alba looks amazing! I cannot believe she is a mother! Wish i knew her get skinny secrets!

  48. Kim is a mom! She looks great for her age and for having two kids! But it wouldn’t hurt to invest in some Skineez Skincarewear to shed inches and dimples…and a better fitted suit! It looks like she purchased that in the tweeny bopper section of Macy’s

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