Jessica Alba indicates the turkey has reached its proper temperature

July 31st, 2008 // 33 Comments

Here’s Jessica Alba out and about yesterday rocking a chest that says “Yes, I did recently squeeze a tiny person out of my pelvis. Thank you for asking.” Which, honestly, almost made me consider Jessica Alba a captivating individual. Keyword being: Almost.

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. dana

    Great, fish!

  2. Haywood Jablowme

    She looks amazing; would look even better with a smile.

  3. Jay

    I am the king of everything, which is why I beat all you bitches to first. First.

  4. Deacon Jones

    God damn! Imagine and thick and rubbery those nipples are right now!

    On something totally unrelated, here’s a link for the funniest fucking phonecall I ever heard. It’s some psycho that met a girl on the street and continually left her voicemails, Swingers style.

    http://www.holytaco.com/2008/06/27/the-douchiest-phone-message-in-history/

  5. stealingjoy

    Amazing when you consider she’s wearing a bra. Her nipples must be thimbles!

  6. Angry Beaver

    When they timer pops out like that, it’s time to take the puppies out. Let them be free Jessica. FREE THEM!

  7. Sport

    Man I would so impregnate that this very second.

  8. Rick James

    I wish I had more hands. I’d give those titties four thumbs down.

  9. typical superficial loser

    Ugleeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wouldn’t touch her with a 10 foot pole

  10. Sucking Jessica's TITS

    @3

    Looks like the king got his ass kicked by a bunch of bitches. LOL!

    NOW THATS WHAT YOU CALL REAL TIT’S, WOW…..
    (cant write more cause my hands are not on the keyboard …)

  11. combustion8

    checkout those flabby baby baring arms.. she’s forever ruined.

  12. Ted Kennedy's tumor

    The only positive about having a kid is the woman gets some nice tits for a while and some amazing nipples. They will soon go to shit though.

    Jay (#3) the only thing you are king of is retardville, because you are the king retard.

    #8, nicely played.

    I wonder what Randal has to say though…?

  13. Give her this fake tiny person…

  14. See me, sexier than her, definitely, …

  15. ldsqtbea

    #4-
    thanks for the link !!! that was funny !!!

    ps
    that guy was an ass

  16. 2for2true

    #3

    Retard King of the Tater Tots!

    AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  17. One lactates root beer, the other lactates cream soda. Now all the baby needs is ice cream.

  18. Ted Mosby

    Post-prego boobies are the best.

  19. @3- You fail at life.

  20. Me

    Do you remember when the fish used to be obsessed with Jessica Alba? Now it’s Hayden Panetierre. And there was someone before Jessica. I think this site changes writers every once in a while

  21. One

    Oh my gosh, I just realized thats her husband with her in those pics… in pic #2 it looks like some overweight, middle aged lesbian. hahaha. She’s got strange taste in men.

  22. You

    @20 – You are a godfucking genius.

  23. Confused

    I thought Britney’s were bad, but she was not wearing a bra. But Jessica IS wearing a bra and they still point down south?

  24. rough daddy

    is that cash warren in pic 2 and 3? hes face looks like he just gave birth…and my god!! those pendulous tatas looks amazing…

  25. katia

    ummm is that a lululemon headband she’s wearing?

  26. Looking for a new baby momma

    I don’t care if she’s kinda chubby or just had a kid.

    She use to be number one until she married and had kids with Cash Money.

    Adriana Lima for the win!

  27. ph7

    Any hotness she once passed out of her simultaneously with her baby’s head.

  28. Just Dick

    You know, she doesn’t look particularly happy in these shots…but say what you will…that’s a damned nice rack.

  29. Jessica's New Bra Size

    34 Long?

  30. brazen

    I don’t care what anyone says, she was georgous before baby and is still georgous.

  31. sayo

    OMG, she looks so pretty. I saw her profile on m’illionaire d’ating s’ite “M e e t i n g W e a l t h y.c o m last week. What kind of relationship is she looking for on that site? Just curious.
    ——————————————————-

  32. She has a pair of UDDERS in front of her.
    You’ve seen her nipples?

  33. Wow ! sounds like tons of fun! I LOVE her dress ! I wanna buy IT ! She is one of the gorgeous actress in the Hollywood….

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