Jessica Alba in a bikini

August 2nd, 2009 // 110 Comments

What the shit?! When did Jessica Alba get hot again? Here she is in Malibu yesterday, and these pictures confirm what many of us forgot about Jessica Alba but should’ve been focused on all along. And that’s the fact Cash Warren must die by my hand. Unless, of course, you guys can come up with a better way for me to share a conjugal visit with Jessica. I’m all ears.

Photos: Splash News

  1. tokk

    the tattoo is tibetan…

  2. temp

    she looks AMAZING.

    wouldn’t have even known she had a baby.

  3. Joseph

    #35 – You are so right. My girlfriend and I are extremely athletic and work out diligently 6 days a week…and eat right. All we get is shit about it from our families who happen to all be overweight and eat crap and sweets all the time. America is getting such a warped freaking view of healthy. It’s mantras of “Love yourself the way you are” and shows like “More to Love” that have taken it too far. What’s at all ok about morbid obesity causing an epidemic of health problems? Keep on telling yourself you’re ok Fat America…you’re the one’s who are gonna die of heart problems, type 2 diabetes, or dozens of other health problems…excuse me if some of us want to be healthy, live longer, and look great in the meantime.

  4. jd

    So it’s back to staging beach photo ops for this great thespian.

  5. sb

    #53 – You took the words right out of my mouth. I don’t want fat slobs to “love themselves the way they are” if it means my tax dollars paying for their chronic health problems.
    Jessica looks PERFECT in these photos. A truly blessed event, like Jesus coming back to life. Easter Sunday for Alba’s ass.
    Hmmm… Jessica Alba gets pregnant, no bikini shots for over a year, and a world-wide depression sets in. She is photographed in the wild again, in all her former glory, and we have signs of an economic recovery at the same time. I think we are going to be all right. Thanks Jessica!

  6. The tattoo on his arm translates to “this is how far I stuck my arm up rough douchie’s ass”.

  7. eddie

    @44 Genetics? Both of her parents are obese. Alba was heavier when she was on Dark Angel and metabolism only slows down as you get older. She clearly works to stay slim, probably mainly by dieting. She admitted to having an eating disorder in the past, but I doubt she’s anorexic now.

  8. jimz

    She would look a lot better if she had some semblance of a waist. The ideal waist to hip ratio is not 1:1.

  9. timea

    Crawling around on all fours to make sure the paps get some good shots. I guess the “acting” is not working out. Is Megan Fox getting all your parts?

  10. hilo

    Cash, seriously now, stop posting how hot Jessica looks using different names and get a job. People will look at kinds of shit for free on the internet, but how many will pay to watch Alba’s cringe inducing acting?

  11. Erica

    Body is looking GREAT. But she needs to ditch the chicken yellow hair.

  12. Too skinny for my taste, to be quite honest. But still decent.

  13. GK

    does anyone know the address/location of this malibu beach that alba and mccord have been at the last 2 days. dying to know where this place is. thanks

  14. Weird… like every other Hollywood beeotch, her belly button see,s to move up two inches with every child birth… by child #3 she’ll look like she has a third eye.

  15. dude

    reckon id still hit it..

  16. Parker

    @29 I don’t always leave a descriptive detail; sometimes it’s only a superficial reference. And it only hurts if they refuse to make you a sandwich afterwards.

    @28 thanks. Dear Annie loves Anal, marry me.

  17. lisa

    haha agree with #22!

  18. I want to see her without bikini..

  19. Darth

    She knows what her best assets are.

  20. Riley<3

    @Parker-us girls arent meant to be violated like that!!!!!

  21. Riley<3

    but anyways, jess is so pretty!!

  22. Galtacticus

    You can crack a nut on that butt.

  23. @70..There is nothing wrong with anal sex..and just so you know Riley, lots of women find anal sex great, plus its romantic because I’ve learned the fastest way to a woman’s heart is straight through her shitter.

    As for Jessica, definately MILF material but shes old news now..

  24. Hard to believe she just had a baby. Since her movie career is all but dead, I wonder if she’ll star in a musical theater performance too like Jessica Biel? Hmm…

  25. Gando

    Because of her tight bum she’ll have good karma.

  26. Josh

    Oh no, she lost the boobs…

  27. Wow, she does NOT look like she had a kid! Can I just say I miss her body though…back in the day when she was a little curvier?? I’m not saying she’s too skinny, yaddy yaddy yaddy…but she looks better with a lil more meat on her bones. Besides, I’m going to assume she’s done breast feeding because her boobs are totally gone!

  28. #64…I’m glad I’m not the only one who noticed her belly button looking odd. I wasn’t going to type anything because I’d just get called, “fat, jealous, ugly..etc…”. There’s no denying the girl looks great, but yeah…I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say she had a wee bit of help on that tummy. Okay, go ahead..I’m ready for my bashing!

  29. scooby

    that’s what i’m talking about motherfucker.

  30. Fribble

    13. – August 2, 2009 6:52 PM
    She’s getting fat and her malepal has a hairy belly.

    There’s a reason for the hairy belly. It’s called “testosterone.” You might get some someday if you pray really, really, hard.

  31. Venom

    @ #77 Alli – I agree, she looked better during her Dark Angel days. Not just body-wise, but… well she just needs to quit dying her hair blonde.

    @ #40 Nameless – I agree 100%

    @ #70 Riley – … that’s why there’s this thing called lube. You should try it.

  32. Parker

    @Riley I didn’t say *you* have to enjoy it so don’t get riled. No harm no foul. Some girls do like it though. And the ones who like it more than anything else are the ones I want to marry. I find they make the best sandwiches.

  33. Jennyjenjen

    She looks great after having a baby….but her butt isn’t as toned pre-baby. Her boobs are a little smaller…apparently that happens after a baby.

    Anyways, her hair looks a little too yellowish but I like her with light coloured just not this light.

    Overall, she looks awesome! And to all them sick delusional people saying she doesn’t have boobs….go eat a c*ck you don’t deserve to look at a fine specimen like Jess. Anymore than a handful is a waste!! But that’s not to say that Marisa Miller ain’t hot….love that girl’s body and boobies. I love Charlize Theron but she is someone that you could say has mosquito bites for tits…A cup…:(

  34. amy

    I like her tramp stamp! –

  35. chupacabra

    great body… BUT HER FACE!!!!!

    Her face is so flat and boring, I want to take a literal dump on it.

    She’s about as dumb as a box of rocks. Remember the “save the sharks” episode? You could tell her anything, and she would believe it.

    Mainly, I hate her sourpuss expression all the time, and the fact that she couldn’t act her way out of a paper bag.

  36. Iambananas

    Okay, first of all, I can’t stand her. She’s is so annoying, makes the WORST movies and after that “save the dolphins” bull crap she trashed my city with, I really can’t stand her, nor will I ever waste money on another one of her movies.

    HOWEVER, I find it hard to believe there’s even a debate as to whether or not she has a nice body. Obviously she is in great shape, eats right and works out. Yes, her face, hair and personality are lacking, but I don’t understand how people can say she’s fat, anorexic, or her belly button is too high (honestly, how picky can you be with the belly button?).

    AND also, to people saying nasty things about her… she has a mother, okay, she IS a mother… that’s just not right.

  37. saywha?

    Wow, she’s rockin’ it!

    Note to chicks: just because you get knocked up, doesn’t mean you have to be a fatty.

    Jessica A = Greatest MILF ever!

  38. saywha?

    Wow, she’s rockin’ it!

    Note to chicks: just because you get knocked up, doesn’t mean you have to be a fatty.

    Jessica A = Greatest MILF ever!

  39. Deacon Jones

    @82 I agree Parker! And they aren’t nearly as btichy….

    I personally dont see the big deal about Alba. You can go to the Jersey shore and walk a half mile down the beach and spot someone hotter than her. Plus that orange dye job she’s got looks like shit

  40. LUX

    @#86: so it’s ok to call a woman a bitch but the moment she has a baybee she’s eligible for the Nobel Prize and deserved to be worshipped???

  41. big fan

    why does cash go anywhere. if i were him the only place i’d want to be is INSIDE her.

  42. Sick Prick

    I’d toss her salad

  43. Tanzarian

    Dude’s got pubes on his stomach.

  44. logic

    Absolutely positively the worst actress ever.

  45. mw

    Does this dumb bitch ever actually swim when she goes to the beach, or does she just stand in knee deep water with her arms around that ape and pose for the paparazzi?

  46. £i

    Pic #5, she’s a little off, but Jess is damn close to hitting the pose coined after herself, “The Alba”. It’s the official name for any chick in a bikini on all fours, back arched and ass up. Seeing these pics makes me think, “how long before Hollyweird starts having premieres at the beach?” Screw the red carpet! No, Lilo, I’m not talking about you.

  47. RtSS

    Dang, them are some good eats! Finger lickin’ good!!! Jess, call me… You have a date with sitting on my face. My tongue is extended and ready for action. Licka, licka, licka lotta puss. I would make panty tea out of her bathing suit bottoms.

  48. RtSS

    It is truly hard to believe Jessica has spit out a baby from her love tunnel. I can’t imagine that she’s all stretched out down there; she must’ve done some kegel exercises to get all tight and snuggly. She’s sure done a remarkable job at getting the rest of her body into shape. I would be in heaven if I could do her, I would poke and probe every sweet moist opening she has. Ouch, tongue cramp, I got a tongue cramp.

  49. Sven Oljaski

    The only reason that Jessica is with that douche bag and not with me is simply because GOD HATES ME.

  50. Forged very good …

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