Jessica Alba hates the paparazzi

May 31st, 2007 // 123 Comments

It’s basically assumed for all celebrities, but Jessica Alba says she hates the paparazzi. She tells Parade magazine: “I could give two shits about them. They’re so lame, I can’t even believe that’s a real job. I can’t imagine they even pay taxes.”

How ironic. I usually hate the paparazzi too, except when they’re bringing me pictures of Jessica Alba. When they’re bringing me pictures of Jessica Alba I want to lift them on a pedestal and sacrifice small animals to them. And maybe brush their hair as I hand-feed them grapes. You know, regular stuff. Healthy stuff.

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  1. 100= sure you don’t want to say anything else? You must be her best friend and are afraid to tell her what you think. Next time, please don’t write a book!

  2. B*tch Slap

    She’s like all top heavy or something and she has the ugliest shaped shoulders i have ever seen. she’s just so bony. Yuck. Ok paps you heard it here! Stop taking her picture and see what she does. Don’t front B**ch , you know you wouldn’t be anywhere without them. Slut.

  3. Aviva

    I love the “Wing It” on the long sleeve tee!Look at all the crystals on the back wings.

  4. Molly

    I need that wing it shirt!!!

  5. dr.kevinpothead

    Posted by mr right on May 31, 2007 11:25 AM

    Yeah, she’s still kinda hot, obviously in shape, probably tight, worth a jab or even a Superfish special (poke in the pink, stab in the stink, then POW! right in the kisser). But what a fuckin conceited bitch! I would definitely leave while she’s still sleeping and take a big steaming dump in her favorite shoes on the way out.

    ^ ^ ^ men to that lol a sex change!!!! you KNOW sheshiding her balls under those too tight bikini bottoms lol

  6. dr.kevinpothead

    Posted by lambman on May 31, 2007 11:59 AM

    What a liar. Jessica and her publicist have been going out of their way the past two years to get her in tabloids. She’d been acting for years, and famous for years…then all the sudden 2 years ago she started popping up at all the paparazi hotspots.

    If you don’t like it, take a tip from your old rival Sarah Michelle Gellar and move outta la, or at least stop working out at public beaches, hanging out at paparazi hot spots and stop you’re whining

    ^ ^ ^ again, amen to that!!
    i LOVE sarah michelle gellar!!!! her body, her skin ,her FACE, her tits…. fuckin A ID take a bong rip out of her ass!!!!

  7. dr.kevinpothead

    Posted by Jimbo ? on May 31, 2007 12:00 PM

    Paula Abdul needs to take less medication.

    schack needs to take more.

    Jimbo, i read in another thread that schack and 9ou were suposed to meet up….and i see it…. “schack’s a dude”
    i almost died!!! LOL!!
    im not laughing at you, i just think that was rather shady of schack if you ask me

  8. dr.kevinpothead

    by captain obvious on May 31, 2007 3:12 PM

    She seems like such a snotty little bitch to me. And she hates the paparazzi? Well, I can see how they could be annoying, but she should really be kissing their asses because they are the main reason she’s famous. Does she really think people like her because of her amazing acting abilities?? Sheeesh. The only reason she became famous was because people think she’s hot. And the pap’s had something to do w/ that image. Although looking the way she’s been looking, she might lose that title of sex appeal. She’s been looking very anorexic/bulimic lately; losing all her curves. Not very sexy if you ask me. She should go eat a burger and shut the hell up. I think it would be great if the pap’s just totally left her alone and nobody payed attention to her anymore or gave her roles. Then she could cry “nobody loves me!” waaaahhh…

    ^ ^ ^ again, Captian Obvious, you fucking said it. i would laugh in her pop eyed thyroid problem FACE if i ever saw her cry, i dont give a FFFFFFUUUUUCCCK about WHY the little skeezebot was upset about. id still laugh. LOL, see?
    have a great weekend everyone!!!

  9. anon

    Jessica go eat a sandwhich. Ya got no tits!!!

  10. Kt

    And acting’s a real noble profession. Um.

  11. frenchie

    100- Holy crap! Can you please condense your thoughts next time? You have a point, but there’s no need to repeat yourself. We heard you the first time!

    Jessica is a cute girl with a proportionately nice frame. She is not a raving beauty but has unique features. Any guy would be proud to have her on his arm. I can’t speak for her peronality but she comes across as someone that is starting to believe her own press. Cut the girl some slack because it’s hard to stay grounded in that business. She’s a young girl trying to juggle the stress that comes along with the fame. Living in a world & politics of sharks is difficult even for the most seasoned actors.

    103 & 104 – I guess crystal dripping shirts still serve a purpose for the bunch lacking in any style savvy or old cougars. The only place you have taste must be in your mouth. Please…it’s time to put away your Bedazzlers!

  12. beautyqueen17


  13. frenchie

    beautyqueen17- Not everyone is into chubby chasing dear. I’m sure your full bust size, shapely waist, bubble butt, and rock hard thighs brings grown men to their knees.

    I love people with a delusional imagination.

  14. menotu

    wow, so i guess it’s her fantastic acting skills that got her famous, right? or the fact that she acts like a total slut? oh well. don’t beg for attention and then insult those who give it to you you overrated whorebag.

    oh no, now thousands of patheticly horny men are going to tell me i’m either fat, a lesbian, or jealous.

    sorry, none of the above.

  15. Jeanne

    If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t type anything at all.

  16. iamsosmrt

    This website is called
    THE S-U-P-E-R-F-I-C-I-A-L
    So forgive us if we come across a little shallow but that’s kind of the whole FUCKING POINT.

    For the love of Howard K Stern if you don’t like it go kiss celebrity ass on the people magazine blog and let us insult in peace.

    Celebrities are filthy turds, they are the property of society. They sold themselves, their privacy and their humanity for a slice of worthless invisible whore pie called fame. They shall therefore be ridiculed and mocked for their greed and stupidity. Their lives are the personification of the Emperor who had no clothes. Celebitches have no souls.

  17. Audrey


    oh i just saw up top…….is that right??? I NEEEEEEEED THIS SHIRT!!!

  18. It makes sense that about a year after Alba gives me wood that she should turn into a train wreck of a beotch. First, she whines about too many germs in hotel room pillows on Jay Leno, then she whines about directors not taking her seriously becaues of her looks, then she fronts a GQ cover in a nothing swimsuit, then she whines some more
    about papparazzi. This chick is gonna be like Tina Louise or Cheryl Ladd, bitter old hags who used to be hot complaining about how they dont get any respect. Noone would even know who you were if you hadnt sold your ass, so just face reality. I never get why these stupid hags
    dont get that they have easier lives than 98% of the population just because they look good.

    There are hot women who have embraced their ass selling, like Angelina jolie, oh but wait, they have brains and talent and a personality. Oh well, hot butt usually comes at a high price, but not always. but usually.

  19. I'm Not Crazy!

    I spoke to Jessica Alba over MSN through some other Alba fan I met on the internet. I was 15 or 16, so when she said not to add her because having someone like her being so accessible just wasn’t allowed, I didn’t! ;_; (She’d get into trouble with her agent or some crap like that)

    …There I said it. Now I bet ZERO of you believe me.

  20. Tell me how you can’t feel sorry for this sad face?…

  21. JJ

    I cannot stand this CUNT anymore. She uses the paparazzi more than anyone to further her career. Ever since she started showing her ass everywhere her career has taken off. Hey Alba, you are a fucking liar. Your 15 fucking minutes should be up. There are millions of other girls hotter than you, you FUCKING USELESS PIECE OF SHIT. Your fucking constant whining and bitching has finally done you in. We all fucking hate you now. Go off and fucking rot now. Your too fucking old anyway. Much, much hotter girls are here and they actually have talent. You got B movies left shithead and that’s about it.

  22. JJ

    Post 118 by Mcgee is right on. I’m glad others are turned off by this bore as well. I was initially attracted to her beauty, but I saw her act like an idiotic, whiny moron on Leno and then have read about her constant complaining. This is a good lesson. The beauty of a woman is much more than her skin. Alba looks so fucking ugly to me right now. Hollywood pay attention. People hate this bitch.

  23. jtl

    #118 nailed it.

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