Jessica Alba hates the paparazzi

May 31st, 2007 // 123 Comments

It’s basically assumed for all celebrities, but Jessica Alba says she hates the paparazzi. She tells Parade magazine: “I could give two shits about them. They’re so lame, I can’t even believe that’s a real job. I can’t imagine they even pay taxes.”

How ironic. I usually hate the paparazzi too, except when they’re bringing me pictures of Jessica Alba. When they’re bringing me pictures of Jessica Alba I want to lift them on a pedestal and sacrifice small animals to them. And maybe brush their hair as I hand-feed them grapes. You know, regular stuff. Healthy stuff.

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  1. Sprite


  2. Vazza


  3. Sprite


  4. Vazza

    Robbed I tell you, robbed ;)

  5. bungoone

    well she should love the paparazzi because no one would know who she was otherwise. she’s certainly not known for her supurb acting.

  6. skyhydragonfly

    Wow, 6TH! Getting closer….

  7. skyhydragonfly

    Okay, someone slipped in before me….7th…sigh…..

  8. lame

    lame ass 1st game

  9. I hope she keeps saying that shit, because it will inevitably lead to a fantastic windfall of nipple slip shots, etc. Nice job biting the hand that feeds you, smart girl.

  10. Flatten the paparazzi with a steamroller Jessica Alba.

  11. bbc

    What does this have to do with the U.S. destroying a country and killing its civilians for no reason?

  12. RoboHobo

    @10 Great boobs on the blog today, Bern.

  13. ethan

    perfect baby…mmmmmmmmmmmm

  14. doug

    hot sexy, athletic body…yum yum

  15. Colin O'Scopee

    She’s definitely the cutest skinny annoying bitchy boy I’ve ever seen. But I liked her much more before the sex change (Dark Angel days).

  16. Jimbo ?

    Yes Bern Nice DMBS. Still no luck when I click on her nipples.

  17. LL

    I love the photographer guys when they’re giving us actual interesting pictures, like Lohan passed out or Paris getting arrested. But when the best they can do is Jessica Alba jogging or someone walking through an airport… that shit is weak. It would kinda suck to not be able to go anywhere without someone sticking a camera up your ass, although living in the Los Angeles area probably has something to do with that. If she lived in Topeka, she probably wouldn’t have to worry about it so much.

  18. I love the paparazzi! I WISH THEY’D SHOVE A CAMERA UP JESSICAS ASS TO SEE IF SHE SHITS GOLD. I support any photographer making life hell for any spoiled rotten, rich “celebrities”. If it was so bad, they’d fucking quit.

  19. But the only reason she has a career is because of the Paparazzi

  20. mr right

    Yeah, she’s still kinda hot, obviously in shape, probably tight, worth a jab or even a Superfish special (poke in the pink, stab in the stink, then POW! right in the kisser). But what a fuckin conceited bitch! I would definitely leave while she’s still sleeping and take a big steaming dump in her favorite shoes on the way out.

  21. Ooba Gooba

    This chick is a bit full of herself, and she’s nothing special. She’s lucky people WANT to take her picture.

  22. Kristie

    I want that hat she has on.

  23. sue

    Her tee says “Traviesa”. So she is jogging around with a t-shirt that says “Naughty” on her chest and pretend not to be looked at. Nice

  24. They all complain, but would be nothing without the extra pub they get.

  25. Skip Smith

    The amazing thing about this story is that the Iraqis were better off under Saddam.

  26. schack

    complaining about the pap is SOOO LOWhan.

  27. schack

    i must say i love my PAPs. LOVE ‘EM!

  28. BarbadoSlim

    STFU jessica and show us your tits.

    That’s what you’re here for.

  29. schack

    actually, barbado, you may have noticed that jessica alba, unlike her coevals, never gives us a good, long look at her boobage, but always has them mostly covered up. that is because she has implants, which, since they’re small for her frame, look kind of awkward on her chest…

  30. schack

    not that she’s not gorgeous… she is

  31. paying customer

    shut up, get up on the table, take your top off and dance for us, monkey.

    if you don’t like that, pick another profession. something that involves working in a mall seems like a good fit.

  32. schack, ok, we get it – thin girls shouldn’t get implants. What’s your boyfriend’s phone number? We’ll all call and tell him to stop pressuring you.

  33. schack

    you actually don’t get it. implants on fat girls are a waste of money, because they’re still fugly afterwards. ONLY thin girls should get implants. but they should either go to a surgeon who actually has an eye for proportion…

  34. schack

    or not

  35. lambman

    What a liar. Jessica and her publicist have been going out of their way the past two years to get her in tabloids. She’d been acting for years, and famous for years…then all the sudden 2 years ago she started popping up at all the paparazi hotspots.

    If you don’t like it, take a tip from your old rival Sarah Michelle Gellar and move outta la, or at least stop working out at public beaches, hanging out at paparazi hot spots and stop you’re whining.

  36. Jimbo ∞

    Paula Abdul needs to take less medication.

    schack needs to take more.

  37. schack

    STILL bitter? jesus christ, jimbo. it was never personal.

  38. Jimbo ?

    @37 And again my troll comes out. Funny how that works

  39. hmmmm…whoever said Jessica Alba hasn’t done a hi-res boob shot is – thankfully – quite incorrect …

  40. bluecrush

    They all want the paparazzi to stalk them until they get famous and then they no longer want the attention. Although, it must be freaky to be photographed daily when you go anywhere. Oh well, anyway, I’m a girl and I think shes hot!

  41. Annony

    Like, OMG, Jessica. Like, why is the logo on your shirt written in Spanish? Like, remember, you’re not Mexican, only your dad is. And, like, remember, you, like, don’t even speak Spanish. Like, eew, OMG. Dumbass, hypocritical chick. She tries so hard to separate herself from the Latino community, yet she’s wearing a Traviesa shirt? She hates the paps, yet she goes jogging at the most infamous spots where the paps are known to be at? Jessica, why do you hate the paps? Not once have they produced an interesting picture or story about you. You are tres boring. Yawn.

  42. nagger please


  43. Archie Bunker

    Awww jeez, just what we need, another fackin nagger.

  44. WowJustWow

    Sorry, but that’s a man.

  45. Gilbert

    Who cares – man, woman. Each has at least one hole, so where’s the problem? There even close together on a woman. Plus if you’re bunghole plunging you’ve got a built-in excuse to not look her in the eyes and have to fake human interest.

  46. schack

    i’m not trolling you, jimbo, i swear to god.

    alex, is that you?

  47. schack

    #46 man becomes more bitter the extent to which he is powerless. try disinterested malice. now that’s glamour!

  48. wedgeone

    Add a bunch of z’s and some right-indenting and #48 is krazihottkelli.

  49. JUmBo


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