Jessica Alba has sex in the ocean

October 30th, 2006 // 70 Comments

  1. Kg

    A kingdom for x-ray goggles!

  2. I’ve never wanted to be salt water so bad in my life

  3. Madrid Marriott

    Nice for the bearded clam to be exposed to its native environment.

  4. guest1234567

    She won’t pose nude, so as not to embarrass her father. But she will have sex in public when she knows she is always surronded by cameras. WTF is wrong with this logic?

  5. miss.minxy

    Oh c’mon!!! They’re not having sex in the ocean, they’re just hugging. Don’t you guys know that it’s not so pleasant for the girl?

  6. That’s not hitin’ it. They are cuddling in the water. Nothing else.

    LOL @ Poster 3. Funny! :-)

  7. RichPort

    Meat always has a longer shelf life when salted and cured. And I apologize for not turning around in those pics, but cameras have this weird side effect of turning me psycho. I was likely to run ashore and beat the photogs with my enormous johnson rather than cloaking it in its intended sheath, Ms. Alba (or as I like to call her, the Off Shore Whore).

  8. BigJim

    A Haiku about bad web design:

    Digital Six sucks
    Shaun is a shitty web guy
    I hope he dies soon

    Oh, and that wasn’t her boyfriend, it was me. And we were having sex.

  9. right after those pictures were taken the boyfriend was eaten by a great white shark…the same shark that wants to eat jessica’s father so she can pose nude….da-da-daaaaa!!!

  10. slantingthroughdarkness

    Why do I feel like I’m watching a Discovery Channel special on spawning salmon?

  11. Madrid Marriott

    So Richport and BigJim both had their penises in Jessica Alba in these photos (#7 and #8). Either they’re into some nautical double-penetration (and neither are as well endowed as advertised), they’re the same person, or someone is unoriginal.

  12. BigJim

    I admit to being unoriginal. That will teach me to post without reading previous postings.

    Curse you, Rich!

  13. RichPort

    BigJim was scuba diving and clandestinely penetrated from the exit hole. Thank goodness swords were not crossed… I swear the look of ecstasy was my doing… though pic #7 clearly shows when BJ made his move. She thought it was my entire arm (she likes that) until I did the “Look ma, no hands!!!” move…

    Scuba dive elsewhere you Canadian stealth fucker!!!

  14. flashback

    jesus christ he’s living my dream

  15. RichPort

    #11 – No false advertising, it’s enormous. If you look anything remotely like Ms. Alba, I’ll be happy to give you a good ocean fucking in full view of the camera jockeys… just beware of the Canadian stingray… of course if you’re a bowser, well you just have to go to the shower and pretend. Oh and tell my wife I got killed in the war…

  16. Yep, havin’ sex in water…. Nothing like getting the biggest douche a vagina will ever experience…..

  17. assfacecocknocker

    id hit it! (that dude in the face, then bang jess in the ocean some more)

  18. EricaDanielle

    I actually think these pictures are cute. I love her so.

  19. assfacecocknocker

    if i was a whale (i sorta am cos of my giant cock) near by i would swim up and hit that from the other end for an interspecies 3 way.

  20. Dory

    For people having sex she really dosn’t seem that interested, unless of course shes one of those people who just lay/sit/be held there with no expression, no enthusiasm, No Fun!

  21. They may be playing around but they’re definitely not having sex. Ugh would you have sex in the ocean. Eewwww! Salt, Sharks, Bacteria – no thank you very much.

    Everyone Loves the Gossip Girls!

  22. Soh!B

    I wish I had a snorkler. I’d do some crazy shit with it in that scenario.

  23. blanket jefferson

    um she is hot,and im not even a dude.

    but i dont think they are bumping uglies.

  24. assfacecocknocker

    #22 i would pay to see that.

  25. Kristin

    She’s so hot.

  26. HollyJ

    No way they’re having sex unless he’s the most boring lay on earth. Her expression is completly blase. Except that next-to-the-last one, where it’s possible he accidentally poked her asstube instead. =0

  27. pixelbasic

    The more shocking thing is “Jessica Alba has Sex…”

  28. urwrong

    “Who wants to brave those bronze beauties
    Lying in the sun
    With their long soft hair falling
    Flying as they run
    Oh they smile so shy
    And they flirt so well
    And they lay you down so fast
    Till you look straight up and say
    Oh lord
    Am I really here at lost”

  29. Kiki

    “Congratulations, Penis!”
    OMG that reeked of awesome-ness!!

  30. Saera

    LOLZZZZZZ, “Congratulations, Penis!”

    I absoleutly love your hilarious comments, Superficial.

  31. amajean040904

    hay these pics are so old see look at this (2nd pic)
    there from 08-07-2006 (well thats when they were posted)

  32. James

    Ewwww. He can have her I don’t want THAT. He’ll cry when his dick falls off from banging a girl everyone has had.

  33. HolisticWisdomcom

    Looks like the perfect setting for a waterproof sex toy! Reminds of a great vacation I had once. Memory…
    All alone in the moonlight…
    I can smile at the old days…

  34. VKS

    um… they aren’t having sex. you can clearly see the reflection of his yellow swim trunks in the water. they’re up around his waist. AND TRUST ME, NO GIRL WANTS SALT WATER SHOVED UP HER COOCH, not matter how horny she may be at the time. that’s pain, there.

  35. Raebees

    They are so having sex. I’ve had sex in the ocean three times and that’s exactly what it looks like!

  36. Raebees

    Salt water does not hurt the cooch. I mean it didn’t hurt mine. And his ween could be coming out from under his shorts ya know! Think about it! It’s not that hard people.

  37. combustion8

    wow, she’s clingy.

  38. whitenavel


  39. andrew-film

    I either don’t think they’re having sex. They’ve been seeing each other for what, 3 years now? After 3 years the lust for sex is diminishing. Yeah, with some average girl, but not with Alba! But pumping salt up your crotch isn’t a very pleasant thing. Masochism? Oh, yeah!

  40. jrzmommy

    there’s really not much to say here.

  41. PrettyBaby

    Good Morning and Happy Halloween everyone!
    (I realize that I am overly perky today:)

    Richport- You are funny as hell- “Thank goodness swords were not crossed” Too funny!

    Also love Madrid Marriott!

    Anyway, I think this Jess is cute but her stupid dance movies are annoying other than that- they are probably not boinking but if it gets all you dudes going then fantasize away!!

  42. Bogart

    no they’re not, yes they are, no they’re not, yes they are, no they’re not, yes they are… I’m telling mother!

  43. JohnniePolo

    37. Posted by Raebees on October 30, 2006 9:08 PM

    They are so having sex. I’ve had sex in the ocean three times and that’s exactly what it looks like!

    Was it good for that snapping turtle too?

  44. lohans8ball

    Jeez if I’m doin it with her and she has those looks on her face I’m pullin out.

  45. Mike

    These pics gave me a boner. Just wanted to share that.

  46. Nikky Raney

    what the hell is HE wearing?

  47. Nikky Raney

    they dont really look like they’re having sex. :\

  48. Nikky Raney

    is that yellow thing in the ocean her panties or his or what?

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