Jessica Alba has a decent body…I guess

August 24th, 2007 // 167 Comments
jessica-albas-ass.jpg

I took a survey of the leading causes that make grown men cry, and Jessica Alba’s ass came in at number one, right above a lemon being squeezed into your eye. I don’t even know why anymore. I mean she’s hot, but she’s not that hot. For some reason the idea of Jessica Alba has become infinitely hotter than Jessica Alba herself. She’s like a legend now, and tales of her hotness have surpassed her actual hotness. When they talk about her in the future it won’t even be her anymore. It’ll be tales of a creature so beautiful you have to whisper her name, and every time somebody says it the entire room will go “Oooh” and “Ahhh.”

superficial

  1. doug

    Kim K is a short, stocky, FAT, whore…do NOT compare goddess Alba with her.

  2. ShelleyBonnechance

    Jessica Alba is gorgeous.

    (Boy, do those jeans ever look uncomfortable to wear. Eeek.)

  3. KC

    She’s definitely hot, but not a goddess. She does not deserve to be obsessed over and to be considered hottest woman on earth. If you want to see a goddess check out Keeley Hazell.

  4. you know it

    Jesus chris, this woman has NO ass. she is fucking anorexic.

  5. Kayla

    Have you ever been bored enough to watch the special features of Into The Blue. She is sooo annoying on that! And she makes the ugliest faces. Maybe she’s hot in movies… but on her own, no way could I be around that girl for more than 3 mins.

  6. SIU

    WHERE DID HER ASS WENT???!!!!!

  7. john

    She is actially adorable. SHe works out at equonox in tribeca and dresses down but not like a star. She’s barely 5ft which makes her look so perfect. She works out hard and makes eye contact but in ny people dont go boncors for stars. i didint ask her out which i wanted to do. b/c i was married but assumed my wife would give me a pass.

  8. neldanas

    jessica alba is todays equivilent of ancient greeces aphrodite,
    the image of perfect of beauty

  9. neldanas

    jessica alba is todays equivilent of ancient greeces aphrodite,
    the image of perfect of beauty

  10. neldanas

    jessica alba is todays equivilent of ancient greeces aphrodite,
    the image of perfect of beauty

  11. mick munroe

    This chick is just another typical latino flavour of the year or so.She’ll last as long as the movie execs. and promotors spend to keep her on top.She’s cute.Her Body suits many different looks that guys today seem to like.Curves!!
    Men today have no idea of how a real woman should be curved.Beyonce,Hell no!! Think how huge that booty will be in say,just another 5 yrs.-JLO,Yuch!!
    Think “GODDESS’-Marilyn Monroe,Blondie,I really apologize here but,that real Beautiful,Sexy,and Curvy ameri/latino singer who was killed by her manager.These are three examples of woman with hips,ass,tits,the whole package.Packaged beautifully.Not Skinny.Not Fat.This Jessica,sure we would all give her a go.Why lie.Yet,she is nowhere anything special.It is true that we all see much better everyday just walking down our city streets.What gets me the madest is;there are so many beautiful,curvy,well-built woman of all nationalities but,Hollywood and the modelling agencies want us to think skinny woman,as some of you say,and it’s true,with bodies built like a ten year old boy,is what we men should desire and women should aspire to be like.They hide the real woman from us,especially the Latino woman.BEAUTY,CURVES,AND FIRE MAKE A WOMAN HOT!! And REAL LATINO woman are the hottest in general but,as I wrote are hidden from us.Instead,they try to sell us on skinny Russian and Eastern European women.Long live the curvy women of the world.Size 6 to 12,depending on thier hieght.I will add however to you small minded idiots.pEOPLE DO NOT DECIDE TO GET FAT.THINK WHAT YOU WRITE ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE,LIKE THIS LADY IN THE BACKGROUND.I AM SURE YOU ALL HAVE A MOTHER,SISTER,GRANDMOTHER,AUNT,ETC.THAT’S CARRYING TOO MUCH WEIGHT TOO.

  12. d

    dude your a faggot jessica alba is god. you must like penis.

  13. nicky barnes

    man yal’l are crazy, calling her “average” & YES even if she wasn’t famous
    looking like that EVERY guy would notice her & turn around to look at her ass as she passed just gorgeous…

    i will say was even better in “honey” & into the blue”

  14. nicky barnes

    man yal’l are crazy, calling her “average” & YES even if she wasn’t famous
    looking like that EVERY guy would notice her & turn around to look at her ass as she passed just gorgeous…

    i will say was even better in “honey” & into the blue”

  15. nicky barnes

    man yal’l are crazy, calling her “average” & YES even if she wasn’t famous
    looking like that EVERY guy would notice her & turn around to look at her ass as she passed just gorgeous…

    i will say was even better in “honey” & into the blue”

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