Jessica Alba has a big tie

December 5th, 2005 // 38 Comments

I don’t know when oversized novelty ties came into fashion, but I hope they never go out. And I’m not just saying that because I recently opened “The Amazing Oversized Novelty Tie Shop” over in downtown Hollywood.

Okay, I lied. That’s exactly why I just said that. Now go buy my ridiculously oversized ties before I stab you in the face.


  1. minnesotacharm

    Extraordinary. Isn’t that the same horrendously ugly tie that Danny was wearing last week on the Real World Reunion?

    And should I be considering gouging my eyes out for knowing that it’s the same tie?

  2. Jessica Alba is still hot enough to roast a turkey.

  3. HollyJ


  4. ElFurbe

    You know, Jessica Alba can wear whatever she likes in my opinion. In my fantasy world it all ends up strewn about the bedroom anyway, though I might have her leave the tie on…

  5. ElFurbe

    You know, Jessica Alba can wear whatever she likes. In my fantasy world, it all ends up strewn about the bedroom anyway.

  6. MrPloppy

    Notice the size of the ear rings and sun glasses. The tie is a normal size. Ms Alba is actually shrinking.

  7. suzy

    looks like a scarf?

  8. That is a scarf….I can see how you could mistake it for a tie…but why the hell are you looking at a damn scarf…you should be looking at the person for whom the scarf is attached to….

  9. Lush

    Ok whatever Jessica Alba is hot… that being said, she looks like the special ed kids whos parents let them dress themselves.

  10. xd

    Jessica Alba is the most over-rated person ever. She ain’t hot at all. She totally SUCKS, as much as the fugly clothes she always wears. There are billions of girls outta there who are so much sexier and prettier and everything. So over-rated!!!

  11. Celebrities SHOULD NOT be allowed to dress themselves.

  12. Gophergutz

    what’s with the finger? Was she about to pick when she saw the camera?

  13. Stacyy

    hey! i have the same glasses!

  14. lovebombing

    everything she is wearing is oversized. the shirt, purse, earings, watch, sunglasses… maybe she has granny-panties on underneath too

  15. Zapp Brannigan

    Is that a giant clown tie or a scarf that happens to look like a tie?

    Avril Lavigne called, Jessica, to inform it’s no longer 2002.

  16. Why is the standard response to any hot girl doing something stupid, “She can do anything she wants, she’s so hot.” Blah, blah, blah.

  17. asenath7766

    Well, I for one wouldn’t wear black and blue together. It makes you look like a walking bruise. The tie/scarf? Just a lame attempt at looking Euro chic.

  18. HollyJ

    “what’s with the finger? Was she about to pick when she saw the camera?” HA HA HA!! I hadn’t even noticed she was packin’ the index finger! She was SO going boogie diving…

  19. jessica alba is the sexiest woman alive, so she can wear what she wants to—-besides, when i look at her all i remember is her prom night when i took her virginity….oh so tight

  20. SnackOnDis

    Jessica Alba is totally clepto. She stole that Big Sad Clown Tie from Big Sad Clown Faced Jessica Simpson.

    Maybe they’ll run off together and start a ring of clownies and name it “Big Sad Clown-Like Celebries Named Jessica.”

  21. dhampir

    Well, it is quite obviously a scarf people. And as much as I would love to critique her choice in clothing, I would rather sit here imagining sex with her, and then kill myself because I cant be her. I see MUCH greater trainwrecks in fashion than that scarf (see ‘Madonna’).

  22. Linnea

    She looks kind of like a bobble head doll. I want to put her on my dashboard and do obscene things with her.

  23. derekd

    I mean talk about an attention junkie. Is it not enough that half of the heterosexual men in America have at least a flash thought of you when they masturbate and/or make love to thier tired wives/girlfriends? Un-fuckn-real.

  24. xd

    for the love of god, look at her, there’s NOTHING hot about that woman. I don’t care about her scenes in Sin City that any attractive looking girl could have made equally hot and many so much hotter. If you look at her and think she’s hot… well there’s something wrong.
    “Just a lame attempt at looking Euro chic.”?? I’m from Europe and no one wears that ridiculous stuff she always wears or dresses/looks like that. By the way, no one cares about her here.

  25. Swair

    still hot.

  26. Cindylover1969

    So because xd doesn’t like her nobody else should? That is SO pathetic. And if he/she really thinks nobody in Europe cares about her, he should really visit for a start…

    xd, if you want somebody who nobody in Europe (or anywhere) cares about, just look in a mirror. As for me, I’ll take Jessica thanks. (And for the record, I *am* European. Or at least British.)

  27. And yes, she is hot. :)

  28. xd

    LOL Cindylover… aww you take it too personal don’t you?? I’m sure you suffer a lot of stress in your life haha!!! this is just that, a silly comments section at a funny website, don’t take it so seriously… what the heck do you know about anyone in here hun?;)
    And it seems that because you have a bad taste I can’t dislike the things you like and can’t express my opinion??
    oh dear, relax!!!;)

  29. asenath7766

    Oh, it was not at all my intention to speak ill of European fashionistas by comparing Jessica Alba’s style to them. I love European style. That’s why the operative phrase I used is “lame attempt”. And I’m sure one could find a few Europeans walking around in black sweaters, jeans and some type of long scarf…

  30. Cindylover1969

    Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear… you’re still being a twit I see, xd. Everything you said applies just as much to you, and more so. I repeat – You Are Pathetic.

  31. jj

    Issues, issues,issues,xd are you a little jealous because Jessica Alba is hot.

  32. Genius

    xd needs to get a life

  33. Genius

    i personally think the tie looks pretty cool, atleast she doesnt follow the trends exactly like some sort of sheep i respect the fact she makes her outfit abit diferent….ide wear this outfit ne day if i could pull it off

  34. Isa

    Anybody who says jessica alba looks anything but gorgeous is a jealous cat. Appearance-wise – the woman is a gem, she always has been and always will be. Anyone who says otherwise should take a good look in the mirror and judge that in comparison. Bonne nuit!

  35. ihateher

    I hate Jessica Alba SO FUCKING MUCH!!!!! She is an attention-sucking slut whore who can’t keep her clothes(what little she is wearing at the time)on. That anorexic little bitch can burn in hell for all I care!!!!!

  36. SweeterSweeterBoyfriendStealer!

    hahahahaha i still think shes stupid, the Talentless T & A of hollywood/NYC
    no ones hatin’, just saying what i think :)
    PSihateher, NICE ONE!!! she really does act like a major priss, a psudo-virgin mary lilly white, but we all know what she really is. heehee!

  37. SweeterSweeterBoyfriendStealer!

    XD i love you :)
    im euro also, we came to america when i was 6,from Belfast. and also, no one is HATIN on your precious alba, i agree with xd cuz this is a site for OPINIONS!!!! AND i agree, there are a million girls out there who are ALSO “hot enough to roast a turkey”, like rosalyn sanches, angelina jolie–who will be in Sin City2: The Dame.. SHES the Dame!! FINALLY rodriguez saw the light!!!! its going to be ALL about HER (JOLIE, not nancy), because he said after he directed mr and mrs smith, she was the ONLY woman who could play her. i think carmen electra is probably the sexiest of all ;) she should have played nancy in the first sin city!!!
    XD and PostAcidYouth you ROCK! and Zap Brannigan, “Cham-Pag-in?”!!! i LOVE FUTRURAMA!!!!!

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