Jessica Alba gives guys erections

January 5th, 2007 // 172 Comments

  1. PostAcidYouth

    I dunno, he had his big titty phase, his angelina jolie phase etc etc. perhaps it’s not a breast preference but just pics of whoever’s available that day?

  2. meerm

    I do not work out, my bad I know, but my ass is the way it should be, up, not downward and saggy as Jess has it here. She should eat otherwise she will become invisible.

    On the other hand, I love the color of her skin , her big chocolate eyes, and her natural hair. Rarely you can see these days natural hair among starlets. They all wear tacky extensions, so, a big plus for Jessica.

  3. HELLpenis

    *ignores moron who thinks Shirley Manson is hot*

    Alba’s skin always looks great, no matter what. It’s her best feature I think.

    About this site, yeah it kind of sucks now.

    But to be fair it is called The Superficial so maybe they’ve decided to take it in the direction of gofugyourself and other sites that just critique looks instead of focusing on scandal. Which is fine, but the writing on this site has gotten really shitty.

    Thanks to whoever posted that Tlyer Durden thing. I checked that site out yesterday and it’s like ten times better than this crap.

    At least Superfish has a pretty layout, lol

  4. Binky

    Re:138 etc. I’ve just been here for the ‘pretty layout’ for a number of months.
    I think the Fish guy must be going thru a period of burn-out or something. Same people -same schict. T’is possible.
    But when the chatters continue to ramble on to each other -this place is the google for ‘loserville’ (try and get out a bit ‘regs’)
    The comments have carried this place – but it would be difficult for everyone to bail to a new same place.

  5. Binky

    (no-weekend update) – with Binky (your internet pal)
    I’m not a huge Seth Macfarlane ‘animation domination’ fan. (And the industry hates him because he steals material) But when you glance at it – it seems a little more cutting edge than say ‘Friends’ or ‘Everyone Loves Raymond’
    And don’t you feel these guys might have a bit more on the ball than the ‘people running the store ?’ as they say.
    The Simpson’s and Seth porn have helped spread benevolence for the invaders.
    When can they take over ? (All the entertainers we get we get are Ronnie R and Arnie…)

  6. Binky

    And then when you change the channel you get the less realistic cartoon – The Donald.
    Difficult to export positively overseas to get a ‘benevolence’ response.
    ( more of a ‘make the rich pay’ thing goin’ on than benevolence – possibly get NSA to switch back to beaming Baywatch)

  7. dirt chicken

    @77 I agree…That little pup-tent would barely qualify as a “boner”. It looks more like a crease in that dude’s trunks … speaking of trunks … MY massive man meat would have been poking JA in the eye, or at LEAST her belly-button. That dude is hung like a thimble.

  8. Binky

    #147 ( And what happened to Caroline and George ? They used to be the only humans on the show !
    I understand they lost the ‘my Dad’s the owner task’ but was this on in the summer ? I must have missed it, kind of like the rest of the shows. It’s great to see The Donald bringing in Nepotism to round out the reality TV genre ! What a cutting edge genius !!

  9. #135. I’m a Friend of Dorothy too, and I would also get it on with her, if I thought she wouldn’t laugh at my micro-junk, or my beer belly, or my concave biceps, or the rug burns on my knees and elbows, … and maybe she wouldn’t mind that my mom screens my calls. Maybe.

  10. Binky

    # 150 & 151
    If you have nothing to say – feel free to keep it to yourself.

  11. Carsten5577

    Nice body, rather average face.

  12. Binky

    (Thank GOD no one reads my stuff – or I’d lose all my material ! )

  13. Googolygoo

    #135 and #150–

    You’re perfectly illustrating my point.
    Thank you.

  14. Binky

    Thanks for illustrating mine.
    BTWUII !
    (An oldly but Goody – Newbies will have to look that one up and then vote NADER )

  15. BarbadoSlim

    Agreed with the point that we need a break from this place.

    Oh, and I CANNOT agree with this perception that Seth McFarlane steals material, it’s parody folks, and he’s parodying the same thing that the Simpsons and South Park they ALL overlap each other. The difference is that FG and AD go about it differently.
    Besides Simpsons has already done everything, South Park is preachy as hell, Seth is going for over the top. IMO

    was there some post deletion action here?

  16. AmberDextrose

    Dear God, don’t tell me that Comments have finally been moderated? (judging by the out of kilter references above to numbers that don’t exist) Who was blitzed?

    I’m keener to know who’s been canned, than to find out what killed the news on here since Friday!

  17. RichPort

    Oh Ass Troll, I see you like to post on the weekends too! Now that’s talent… doesn’t your pimp get mad at you? How do you balance sucking off priests and truck stops cretin with your undying desire to be me? Now that must be a brainfuck. Does it make the bad dreams of the dirty old man who cock-slapped you in the rectory? I’m here to help…

  18. Binky

    Good to see him nuking some posts (or I was worse than usual on the numbers thing yesterday.)(He nuked all my funny ones)
    154 Slim: Even Stewie is based on a football headed little kid from some comic. (It’s still usually funny as hell though)

  19. BarbadoSlim

    @157…agreed, I also think American Dad has surpassed FG, much like Futurama surpassed Simpsons.

    Only my honest opinion

  20. *blushing* I’m the one who got “moderated” for giving a link to the “old” superficial guy’s website… my bad. Sowwy.

  21. I just thought I’d take the opportunity to remind everyone how clever and interesting I am. Even though you have all read my ripped “cretin” and “sucking” and “cock-slapped” references ad nauseum, you still love me, you really love me!

    I thank God every day that I am me, I mean who else could ( or would ) be? Fo’ shizzle!

    And by “here to help”, I meant that I will felch your rectum anytime, anywhere. ‘Cause thats just how I roll, …

  22. RichPort

    Yes, I know my days of the week! But, unlike more intelligent and industrious posters who have jobs and earn a nice salary during the day, I slip into my manager’s office during down-time at the drive through, and post all fucking day long, every day, without exception! ‘Cause that’s just how I roll, …

  23. GG1000

    No wonder she’s laughing. Who is that guy, Jude Law? He’s no Tommy Lee, that’s for sure.

  24. kathleen170

    This is just awkward and disturbing.

  25. danigirl

    ehhh….shes…CUTE…not out of this world fuck me now georgeous…im sure in person shes just like everyone else….but for the most part she needs to eat :-)

  26. BrazilianHoney

    FORBIDDEN… are you goddam blind?!! yes i love adriana lima.. but..jenna jamesone? VOMIT.
    jessica alba is very pretty and anyway its all about opinion!!! not everyone has to agree on whos hot but DAMN shes WAYYY HOTTER THAN JENNA JAMESON!! shes UGLY! shes had so much surgery she looks like a muppet, jessica is natural. i cant belive u think those women are hotter than jess!!


    shes hideous. shes a pathetic PORN STAR. and all those gross other girls u named are just as bad. Vida Guerra?? Monica Bellucci(that french chick from the matrix reloaded.. who is OLD)??? they would all look DISGUSTING AND UNRECOGNISABLE without heaps of makeup and airbrushing, jessica alba can be beautiful without all that fake tan, extensions etc thats wat makes her beautiful. if those girls were half as pretty as jessica alba they wouldn’t be D LIST CELEBRITIES!

    carmen electra, pam anderson and those other whores you mentioned are fake, old and ugly behind the makeup. They are no competition for alba, and girls should not be looking up to women who are as old as my MOTHER (EWW), with fake boobs, loads of fake tan, fake hair, contacts AND surgery- who get money by being sluts and having sex in front of cameras (i read the story how jenna jameson got her break by having an old man sleep with her on camera and he made her stick her own fingers up her ass!)- that is NOT a good role model. if they were as great as jessica they wouldnt need to lower themselves to those pathtic levels! grow some brains forbidden, and i think its ironic “forbidden” is the name of that total ugly airbrushed whore on myspace! (i wouldnt be suprised if you were her and looked up to std-ridden pornstars.)
    …..god knows what kind of people you look up to.

    dont ever compare washed out 45 yr olds who have been airbrushed in every photo to jessica alba -who doesnt even need to wear makeup- again.

  27. geez…you shouldn’t put these posts up when people are at work!

  28. lol, if i worked with that guy i’d be putting that picture up in the coffee room stat!

  29. Hazel

    38, 18, & 50.. i completely agree. She truly doesn’t have any talent. her face is flat and she’s too skinny. I don’t know how anybody could believe she’s hot. although, i’ll admit- she has a nice smile.

    I DO believe Jessica Alba looked better during her Dark Angel days. She was naturally beautiful with natural curves. Now she’s gone and lost all that weight, and she just seems so artificial now. No natural beauty whatsoever anymore.. What with her numerous hair color changes too? What’s up with that? i hope she gets skin cancer from all that sunbathing. She’s TAN ENOUGH.

    It even seems like she goes to the beach JUST to get her picture taken. We never really see her swimming..or building sand castles..

    I think the world’s really had enough of her. And you know it’s true when her best headlines say “Jessica Alba gives guys erections.”

  30. ERiN

    “Say ‘Hello’ to my little friend.”

  31. Winesnob

    Very dissappointing. Looks better in clothes and “the right lighting”. Looks like a 12yr old here.

  32. thick

    maybe she was smiling because he was not hard yet …. she does like gaint cock

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