Jessica Alba gives guys erections

January 5th, 2007 // 172 Comments
superficial

  1. Lowlands

    (66)Dunno if it’s good idea to put photos on of tOO hot chicks.Imagine all those gallons of saliva what’s dripping into those keyboards?Tongues will get stuck between the keys and guys going crazy trying to put their boner inside the printer.When this happens there will be a risk that some fuckers can send me claims because of all this…But anyways,now you’re making me really curious…Where can i find these easy to find hO(O)t chick(s)??

  2. mbarkr

    Freaking hot – that’s what she is.

    Outstanding, mind-numbingly gorgeous. Plain and simple.

    And good lord, forgetting even about the body and the hair, and the skin and the boobs and, the… where was I?

    oh yeah…. The smile! For the love of God, she’s even got a beautiful smile.

    She is a gift from the Gods – - and we should keep her.

  3. Thanks for the bump, Fish!

  4. Dr.kevinpothead

    Beh. I file Jessica Alba under “Girls who are hot, but basically look exactly the same as every other actress in every other movie or on every page of every magazine, and therefore, are completely boring to me.”
    I probably passed by ten just-as-good-looking chicks on my walk to work this morning. I don’t get the fuss. She is an average sized female with brown hair. Like you don’t see that ever.
    Then again we live in a world where some people actually don’t think Paris Hilton looks like Big Bird.

    LO-motherfucking-L!!!!!! i agree, shes so average

  5. Forbidden

    to #86-
    it feels bad to be an ugly chick doesn’t it?

    to #90-
    I understand now, if you’re into chick’s smiles instead of real hot chicks. by the way, I don’t like her face and her smile at all, neither her body obviously.

    to #89-
    to name a few celebrities (instead of chicks that are not even close to that famous but way hotter): Adriana Lima (whoever said Alba’s face is better needs glasses, because Alba is not on Adriana’s league at all, body and of course looks wise (including face), Adriana = a really pretty girl, Alba = an ok girl who I don’t find even pretty or attractive, Angelina Jolie, Jenna Jameson, Jessica Simpson (wether you like her or not now that’s a pretty face, not Alba’s), Carmen Electra, Pamela Anderson (sorry if you guys don’t like her because you’re into all that natural and moralist shit, but she’s insanely hot and really beautiful (waaaaay more than Alba)), Charlize Theron, Vida Guerra, Monica Bellucci, Paz Vega, Scarlett Johansson and a looooong etc. The list is so long I could keep typing names for hours, not to mention the millions of girls who aren’t that famous or who aren’t famous at all, who are waaaaay hotter (too hot, the real hotness of the world, not these celebreties).

  6. Lowlands

    (93)Ooww,with some ho(O)tties you sum up here i agree.But Pamela..?I won’t say anything about her now but there will be a big risk Kid Rock and his bodyguards and Tommy Lee will be busting my door…I don’t care about the fight what will follow,i’ll print anyway my fists on their heads,but my newly painted door will get damaged.With Tom i’ll have a giant cockfight and big chance my furniture and interieur will get mashed up by all those slapping cocks…Ewww…

  7. Googolygoo

    Jessica Alba is the closet homo’s last beard before coming out. She is FUG-ly.
    I’d rather fu

  8. cynicalheretic

    You must all have some serious self esteem issues. She is hot, and was great in Dark Angel.

    BTW. If that guy has a hardon, he might consider going to see a doctor about getting an enlargement done… because the fucker is tiny

  9. cynicalheretic

    BTW.. If a dudes dick doesn’t at least come to his belly button, then he should probably kill himself.

  10. Lowlands

    (94)It’s penis you fucking troll…You know your mum is watching,where’re your good manners..?

  11. Lowlands

    (94)It’s penis you fucking troll…You know your mum is watching,where’re your good manners..?

  12. Lowlands

    (99)Didn’t have your double espresso yet?

  13. Lowlands

    (99)Didn’t have your double espresso yet?

  14. LilRach

    She has a naturaly beautiful body. no big fake tits – and damn what an ass! The thing i luv about this chick is she is not your usual skanky whore of a hollywood freak that most of them are lately.
    If i had a penis there is a good chance i’d have an erection :)
    Leave the insults to the likes of Paris and the hohan k

  15. Hhahaha… woops this is not even funny john ;)

  16. LilRach

    I always prefer blondes though…………….. yeah dats better

    http://www.talkingdesktop.com/fantastic%20four%20jessica%20alba.jpg

  17. RhinebeckCowboy

    She’s not half as cute as Kiki Dunst. Or even Kate Hudson.

  18. bunnyhugger

    @ laura # 86:

    hoes are for gardening.

    HOs are for fucking.
    just stating the obvious.
    on a side note, HMOs are also fuckers.

  19. LilRach

    Because superfish is too slow…….

    http://perezhilton.com/topics/exclusives/new_years_eve_leftovers_20070105.php

    fuck i’ve got way too much time on my hands today and i know you all really want to see these…..maybe

  20. Lowlands

    (93)Anyways Sweetness,i’m sorry about your robbery.If there’s anything i can do to ease your pain a little…Let me knOw.

  21. Lowlands

    Just tell your insurance you were robbed for about $15.000….

  22. sexydarin

    Jessica Alba is the gold standard bellweather of female attractiveness. She is perfection. She give me hardon attacks.

  23. ByMennon

    lol @10

    my thoughts exactly

  24. Nikky Raney

    everyone says I look like her, so I feel pretty damn beautiful right now because of all the comments and glory she has been getting on this site. haha. i think her bikini top might be upside down though; my friend’s mom always reminds me constantly “you look like that girl from honey and sin city”

  25. RichPort

    Sweetie, your friend’s mom is trying to find a nice way of saying you look like Benicio Del Toro.

  26. trashtalker

    To 111.

    Read 76:]

    Btw roselyn sanchez is an ACTRESS

  27. m1ndys

    Picture of the year. Should be featured on TIME magazine.

  28. Binky

    Just saw the new ‘Rocky’ movie (ummm…lost a bet…as they say…)
    Thought it was ok, until someone pointed out the chick playing his new girlfriend wasn’t Amy Sedaris – and it wasn’t a comedy.
    So….it’s what you thought.
    (the people at the back of the theatre kept yelling -’you’re gonna be off topic’ or something…Maybe it was my top hat)

  29. trashtalker

    Oh yeah and I never stated that they had better bodies.

    I MEANT to say that they’re just better than her IN GENERAL

  30. Binky

    Public at LARGE : Bitter. Binky – YOU – and your juvenile ‘commentary’. You must be a bitter person Binky. Do you feel bitter ?
    Binky : Sweet.

  31. Laura

    #95 Googlygoo:

    You are a fucking moron.
    You would try to fuck the shit out of her given the smallest, slimmest, glimmer of a chance.
    You’re not fooling anybody honey.

    Enough said.

  32. RichPort

    And we all know how fucking hot Benicio Del Toro is. Where’s my damned double dong, …

  33. Dr.kevinpothead

    im so sick of this annoying twit! her titties look like rasins and cash could eat pudding out of the dimples of her ass and thighs! fuckin so retardedly vile……
    sorry, shes not my cup of tea and never will be.

  34. Dr.kevinpothead

    know who else is busted looking? rosario dawson……but she did look hot in sin city. she shoulda played nancy….at least dawson has EXPRESSION in her eyes…oh yeah, and jay’s face looks like a kindergardner. whats up with that? i think micheal jackson called, he wants his pedophilia back….

  35. thetowntroll

    Ahhhh…..

    Yep.

  36. evian_baby

    ok, jessica alba is sex on legs
    even i have a hard on and im a girl.
    now will u please change topics!

  37. Forbidden

    haha, so funny the only people complimenting this average stick are chicks!

  38. Lowlands

    I know you luv me babe….Anyways,i’m still in the far east.I’ve to extend my stay with 4 days cause of profesionally reasons…

  39. PostAcidYouth

    Oh, come on girls. Alba’s not the hottest girl in the world in my opinion, but I’d still give all the teeth in my head to look like her. All you ladies complaining about her ‘tiny tits’ (so what? They’ll be sitting high and pert on her chest when yours are swingin’ round your ankles) her ‘stick body’ (because you know she looks awesome with her slim waist and pert ass)

    Like I said, I don’t particularly think she’s all that hot (give me Shirley Manson, Keira Knightley, Katelyn Rosaasen or Talena Atfield any day) but y’all doth protest too much

  40. HELLpenis

    I will admit that it makes me feel a little weird that all the men here are like OMG SHE’S SO HOT NOW! What’s changed? She was hot before, only now her tits are even smaller, she has no hips and no waist. Her ass looks fat and saggy because the rest of her is so very thin…and all you guys think she’s so much hotter now. So yeah, I’ll admit that bothers me but I’m not gonna lose sleep over it.

    Now…129 you idiot, What waist? She doesn’t have a waist anymore because she doesn’t have hips anymore. Her ass isn’t “pert” it’s flat and has cellulite. You want to see a “pert” ass check out Jessica Biel. About her tits, you do know that chicks with small tits can sag too? Tits sometimes deflate after giving birth and they look saggy and gross NO MATTER HOW BIG OR SMALL THEY WERE BEFORE, moron.

    Some people, including me, think Alba looked better before. Deal with it. I’m dealing with the fact that all the guys are drooling over her new stick figure, so you can deal with those of us that like her with a little hips and tits to round out her whole body, instead of a stick with a sagging ass…

    Furthermore, you think Shirley Manson is hotter than now-OR-then Jessica Alba? There goes all your credibility right there, so just go sit in your corner.

  41. BarbadoSlim

    @128.you are absolutely right sir, and the place is rockin’

    thanks for the heads up

  42. sol

    good move, fish dude, i don’t even know how the pic of britney got on this albablog in the first place.

  43. BarbadoSlim

    oops, sorry m’am , also noticed they have a nice password register and log in for every nickname..hint hint.

  44. Charlemagne

    I am gay, but I would get it on with Alba if I could…she is all kinds of sexiness!
    I would also do boner boy…he look cute.

  45. farty mcshitface

    wow, she is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
    overated. i see better lookin broads than her everyday and that is no shit!. i guess if the media tells you shit doesn’t stink long enough, you may just believe it.

  46. farty mcshitface

    farty rules!!!

  47. evian_baby

    Why is it that this site sucks sooooooo bad now-a-days?

    Answers on a postcard please…

  48. Pizzikatie

    Superfish or whoever seems to be obsessed with pre-pubescent looking women. He’s very into the girls with itty bitty chests, ie Kate Hudson, Jessica Alba… I think when he’s not entertaining us, he’s entertaining the 13 year old girls down the street from him.

  49. PostAcidYouth

    130# ….a few points.

    Firstly, the waist is that bit of the body that nips inwards. The bit located a little above the bellybutton? Since it’s anatomically impossible for someone NOT to have a waist, I’m afraid your hyperbole is pointless. Ditto hips. Now, you could say she doesn’t have BIG hips, or that her waist-hip ratio is very small, and you’d be correct. She’s a slim girl. Well done.

    RE: small breasts and sagging. Sure they might sag after childbirth or even naturally, but you sure as hell won’t see your navel between them. Which was my point.

    As for the cellulite…great point. Women get cellulite. Almost all women, big or small. Those who don’t either won the genetic lottery, or have access to an amazing surgeon.

    Now, like I said, I don’t think alba’s all that hot. I didn’t think she was all that hot when she was bigger, and she doesn’t look all that hot now she’s lost weight. But judging by the hysterial OMG SHE’S SOOO GROSS reaction on the superfish you’d think she’s grown three heads and six arses. Not so. She might not be looking as good these days, and she sure is overrated. But she ain’t ugly.

    And yes. I think Shirley Manson is hot. It’s called individual taste, and I’m entitled to it, ta very much.

    Note to 139: Some grown women have small breasts. They can still breastfeed, thus they still women.

  50. Pizzikatie

    #140 – Of course some women have small breasts… but Superfish’s entire audience doesn’t find small breasts appealing. He does. So he features them pretty regularly, for DAYS at a time… you’d think he’d want to entertain everyone, not just himself.

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