Jessica Alba tried to drive the wrong way down a one way street in Santa Monica over the weekend and ended up getting pulled over by a motorcycle cop. She was surprisingly relaxed about it and even flirted with the officer:
“Thanks for being the nicest police officer around. So if I want to fight it, do I have to show up in court? Wouldn’t that be your lucky day?”
Of course, that’s not the most amusing part of this video. While the officer writes the ticket, a paparazzi cock-measuring contest goes down off-camera. I want to be sympathetic to these guys because, let’s face it, I’m lazy and can’t use a camera, but Jesus, what a pack of douches. I’m amazed they manage to take pictures instead of ripping off their shirts and flexing in front of each other all day.
NOTE: Video NSFW due to aforementioned asshattery.
Peyo | April 27, 2009 at 3:11 pm
First, Fuck You All
WHODEY | April 27, 2009 at 3:11 pm
skank
RichPort's Ghost | April 27, 2009 at 3:11 pm
I saw a porn once that started exactly like this…
Jenn | April 27, 2009 at 3:15 pm
*cough*
*cough*
*COUGH* (clump of hair falls out)
meee | April 27, 2009 at 3:16 pm
“wouldn’t that be your lucky day?” um, conceited much?
Cop's reply | April 27, 2009 at 3:17 pm
“Maybe…before the baby.”
Right Fury | April 27, 2009 at 3:17 pm
Dumbass buys a Yukon Hybrid. it gets 21/22, that’s still a gas guzzler retard.
FRIST!!! | April 27, 2009 at 3:19 pm
#3yeah, I saw that one too.
Jesus, makes me wonder why I got off with a warning, and I’m NOBODY!!!!! Not even that cute!
Jeezy | April 27, 2009 at 3:19 pm
Bitch dumb no good. All papparazzi are the stupid fucks dammit assholes.
Butch Decossas | April 27, 2009 at 3:22 pm
You gotta work with whatcha got. In her case… well.. a smile?
Anon | April 27, 2009 at 3:24 pm
#8,
that’s right you’re not.
You Thought She Was Not? | April 27, 2009 at 3:30 pm
#7
You didn’t know she is a retard?
jumpin_j | April 27, 2009 at 3:31 pm
The paparazzi are asshats. Might’ve been worth it pre-baby but she’s used goods now. Hey, who wants seconds?
the world according to ROUGH! | April 27, 2009 at 3:36 pm
Im against superfish using foul language, I think he’s better than that…
E! | April 27, 2009 at 3:37 pm
A bystander taped the whole thing:
Jessica Alba: “What did I do wrong, officer?”
Cop: “You were driving the wrong way down a one-way——hey, I know you! You used to be hot!”
Right Fury | April 27, 2009 at 3:38 pm
@12
I knew it. I was just remembering it. I think I’ll go rent “Idle Hands” and season 1 dark angel now.
pap smear | April 27, 2009 at 3:45 pm
These paparazzi idiots are some of the lowest scum I have ever seen. Their job means nothing, they mean nothing, and they are accomplishing absolutely nothing. But listening to how much of an idiot they are time and again, Im not sure I would want them to try to actually do anything with their lives, they might kill somebody.
dirk | April 27, 2009 at 3:52 pm
Don Ju Know I’m a Moobie eStar?
vanessa | April 27, 2009 at 4:07 pm
#17-for despising them so much, you sure don’t mind paying their bills by visiting web sites that promote their “work.”
also, “wouldn’t that be your lucky day?” these celebrities have unbelievable god complexes. the fact that she thinks because she pretends to be someone else for a living that she has more worth than any other human being is sad.
Brandon | April 27, 2009 at 4:28 pm
Fish wants to trash the paparazzi, but without those guys, he wouldn’t have a job.
Blah Girls! | April 27, 2009 at 4:38 pm
Does she really think he cares if she shows up in court or not?
Canadian Carl | April 27, 2009 at 4:41 pm
The background nonsense is the funniest thing I have seen/heard on here in a while. It goes to show how ridiculous these paparazzi guys really are.
gm | April 27, 2009 at 4:47 pm
stupid little Mexican bitch. she is probably illegal that is why she did the flirting thing.. doesn’t want to go back to her home town..
Darth | April 27, 2009 at 5:19 pm
I didn’t even know she’s able to ride huge SUVs.Doesn’t she use a special seat and adjusted pedals?
Hmmm | April 27, 2009 at 5:28 pm
Wrong way down a one-way street? Isn’t this the same Jessica Alba who was telling us how smart she was, just a few months back?
Rhialto | April 27, 2009 at 5:29 pm
The police officer is acting correct and polite.This is in contrast with these undisciplined paps!
Bawb | April 27, 2009 at 6:09 pm
Good thing the cop was neutral, like Sweden..
Napoleon | April 27, 2009 at 7:29 pm
She’s human. Means she doesn’t have to be a moron just cause she went the wrong direction in a one-way street. Could have happened to anyone.
I like her for her down-to-earth personality. Joking around with the officer, not giving a damn about the papz, laughing with her friend. Cute : )
cureholder | April 27, 2009 at 9:48 pm
She actually said “So if I want to fight it, YOU have to show up in court? Wouldn’t that be your lucky day?”
I CALL LINDA A WHORE IN THE BODY OF THIS MESSAGE | April 27, 2009 at 10:01 pm
That was hilarious. My favorite part is when that guy gets in view and is telling the papparazzi that they don’t have a real job, then the cops tells him to leave, and then papparazzi dude goes, “Someone just TOLD! Like a bitch.”
Groucho | April 27, 2009 at 10:04 pm
The audio cracks me up. Are all paparazzi dumb immigrants?
matt | April 27, 2009 at 10:14 pm
Wow she has really lost her attractiveness. No need to be conceited – you ain’t got it no more Alba!
James Martin | April 27, 2009 at 10:35 pm
Is she really flirting on that video? and oh people were taking pictures!
Stay young Looking
mark | April 27, 2009 at 10:43 pm
They say cops don’t give hot chicks tickets. Where does that leave Jessica Alba. Personaly I would not have wrote her a ticket until her cuntness came out with that comment about your lucky day. What a bitch.
BobbyKnobby | April 27, 2009 at 11:09 pm
I hate this round-faced cunt. She looks like Tila TeCunta.
What is it with these stupid gook cunts that think they’re so hot?
gerard Vandenberg | April 28, 2009 at 1:14 am
andale, ANDALE, YOU MEXICAN WHORE…………..ARRIBA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Drunkman | April 28, 2009 at 6:02 am
2:20 Some god TOLD, like a BITCH
Drunkman | April 28, 2009 at 6:02 am
2:20 Someone got TOLD, like a BITCH
sam | April 28, 2009 at 12:16 pm
If i was a papparazzo, id shoot myself and make this world a much much much better place. Maybe take out some fellow paparazzos with me, you know, multiply my good deeds
Lassie | April 28, 2009 at 4:48 pm
You people are deluded! I think she was being sarcastic when she said “Wouldn’t it be your lucky day”. Why the fuck would someone flirt with a cop *after* they get given the ticket? Morons!
Brian | April 29, 2009 at 12:25 am
wait – did the cop say “thanks for being nice”?
shinybenz | May 9, 2009 at 9:10 pm
Maybe the cop gave her a ticket because the paparazzi’s losers were watching and filming/
noname | May 13, 2009 at 9:51 pm
#7, yes. i’ve thought the same thing several times. for someone who’s so ‘environmentally’ friendly i have issues. top that off with the fact she bragged about flying in a private jet to the inaguration.
she’s a fake girl, horrible actress with herpes, and 8 foreheads. i hope she moves to new york soon.
the cop was good to give her a ticket and not let her off.
amy | June 22, 2009 at 3:03 pm
Ewwwwww. She is way conceited. Very unattractive. I can’t believe she actually said that. I thought they were joking. Really, who says that? Nasty cow.
sexy ass | January 17, 2010 at 9:28 am
madonna is the best
Clara | March 20, 2010 at 11:48 pm
booty girls
ghd hair straighteners | April 10, 2010 at 4:58 am
I think you are right!
Violetann | May 3, 2010 at 6:44 pm
stream sex