Jessica Alba gets traffic ticket, flirts with cop

April 27th, 2009 // 48 Comments

Jessica Alba tried to drive the wrong way down a one way street in Santa Monica over the weekend and ended up getting pulled over by a motorcycle cop. She was surprisingly relaxed about it and even flirted with the officer:

“Thanks for being the nicest police officer around. So if I want to fight it, do I have to show up in court? Wouldn’t that be your lucky day?”

Of course, that’s not the most amusing part of this video. While the officer writes the ticket, a paparazzi cock-measuring contest goes down off-camera. I want to be sympathetic to these guys because, let’s face it, I’m lazy and can’t use a camera, but Jesus, what a pack of douches. I’m amazed they manage to take pictures instead of ripping off their shirts and flexing in front of each other all day.

NOTE: Video NSFW due to aforementioned asshattery.


  1. Peyo

    First, Fuck You All



  3. I saw a porn once that started exactly like this…

  4. Jenn



    *COUGH* (clump of hair falls out)

  5. meee

    “wouldn’t that be your lucky day?” um, conceited much?

  6. Cop's reply

    “Maybe…before the baby.”

  7. Right Fury

    Dumbass buys a Yukon Hybrid. it gets 21/22, that’s still a gas guzzler retard.

  8. #3yeah, I saw that one too.

    Jesus, makes me wonder why I got off with a warning, and I’m NOBODY!!!!! Not even that cute!

  9. Jeezy

    Bitch dumb no good. All papparazzi are the stupid fucks dammit assholes.

  10. Butch Decossas

    You gotta work with whatcha got. In her case… well.. a smile?

  11. Anon

    that’s right you’re not.

  12. You Thought She Was Not?


    You didn’t know she is a retard?

  13. jumpin_j

    The paparazzi are asshats. Might’ve been worth it pre-baby but she’s used goods now. Hey, who wants seconds?

  14. Im against superfish using foul language, I think he’s better than that…

  15. E!

    A bystander taped the whole thing:

    Jessica Alba: “What did I do wrong, officer?”

    Cop: “You were driving the wrong way down a one-way——hey, I know you! You used to be hot!”

  16. Right Fury

    I knew it. I was just remembering it. I think I’ll go rent “Idle Hands” and season 1 dark angel now.

  17. pap smear

    These paparazzi idiots are some of the lowest scum I have ever seen. Their job means nothing, they mean nothing, and they are accomplishing absolutely nothing. But listening to how much of an idiot they are time and again, Im not sure I would want them to try to actually do anything with their lives, they might kill somebody.

  18. dirk

    Don Ju Know I’m a Moobie eStar?

  19. vanessa

    #17-for despising them so much, you sure don’t mind paying their bills by visiting web sites that promote their “work.”

    also, “wouldn’t that be your lucky day?” these celebrities have unbelievable god complexes. the fact that she thinks because she pretends to be someone else for a living that she has more worth than any other human being is sad.

  20. Brandon

    Fish wants to trash the paparazzi, but without those guys, he wouldn’t have a job.

  21. Does she really think he cares if she shows up in court or not?

  22. The background nonsense is the funniest thing I have seen/heard on here in a while. It goes to show how ridiculous these paparazzi guys really are.

  23. gm

    stupid little Mexican bitch. she is probably illegal that is why she did the flirting thing.. doesn’t want to go back to her home town..

  24. Darth

    I didn’t even know she’s able to ride huge SUVs.Doesn’t she use a special seat and adjusted pedals?

  25. Hmmm

    Wrong way down a one-way street? Isn’t this the same Jessica Alba who was telling us how smart she was, just a few months back?

  26. Rhialto

    The police officer is acting correct and polite.This is in contrast with these undisciplined paps!

  27. Bawb

    Good thing the cop was neutral, like Sweden..

  28. Napoleon

    She’s human. Means she doesn’t have to be a moron just cause she went the wrong direction in a one-way street. Could have happened to anyone.

    I like her for her down-to-earth personality. Joking around with the officer, not giving a damn about the papz, laughing with her friend. Cute : )

  29. cureholder

    She actually said “So if I want to fight it, YOU have to show up in court? Wouldn’t that be your lucky day?”


    That was hilarious. My favorite part is when that guy gets in view and is telling the papparazzi that they don’t have a real job, then the cops tells him to leave, and then papparazzi dude goes, “Someone just TOLD! Like a bitch.”

  31. Groucho

    The audio cracks me up. Are all paparazzi dumb immigrants?

  32. matt

    Wow she has really lost her attractiveness. No need to be conceited – you ain’t got it no more Alba!

  33. Is she really flirting on that video? and oh people were taking pictures!

    Stay young Looking

  34. mark

    They say cops don’t give hot chicks tickets. Where does that leave Jessica Alba. Personaly I would not have wrote her a ticket until her cuntness came out with that comment about your lucky day. What a bitch.

  35. BobbyKnobby

    I hate this round-faced cunt. She looks like Tila TeCunta.

    What is it with these stupid gook cunts that think they’re so hot?

  36. andale, ANDALE, YOU MEXICAN WHORE…………..ARRIBA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  37. Drunkman

    2:20 Some god TOLD, like a BITCH

  38. Drunkman

    2:20 Someone got TOLD, like a BITCH

  39. sam

    If i was a papparazzo, id shoot myself and make this world a much much much better place. Maybe take out some fellow paparazzos with me, you know, multiply my good deeds

  40. Lassie

    You people are deluded! I think she was being sarcastic when she said “Wouldn’t it be your lucky day”. Why the fuck would someone flirt with a cop *after* they get given the ticket? Morons!

  41. Brian

    wait – did the cop say “thanks for being nice”?

  42. shinybenz

    Maybe the cop gave her a ticket because the paparazzi’s losers were watching and filming/

  43. noname

    #7, yes. i’ve thought the same thing several times. for someone who’s so ‘environmentally’ friendly i have issues. top that off with the fact she bragged about flying in a private jet to the inaguration.

    she’s a fake girl, horrible actress with herpes, and 8 foreheads. i hope she moves to new york soon.

    the cop was good to give her a ticket and not let her off.

  44. amy

    Ewwwwww. She is way conceited. Very unattractive. I can’t believe she actually said that. I thought they were joking. Really, who says that? Nasty cow.

  45. madonna is the best

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