Jessica Alba gets greatest massage of her life

January 30th, 2009 // 45 Comments

Here’s Jessica Alba getting what has to be the best massage ever at a nail salon in Beverly Hills yesterday. She’s enjoying the hell out of it, trust me. I’ve seen that look before on a woman. It cost me extra I made it happen all by myself.


  1. hehehehehhe


  2. xxxlivingdeadgirlxxx

    She looks possessed.



  4. YuuuuMMEEEE

    I cannot believe she pays people to do this to her when I would GLADLY do it for free!!!

  5. She’s as stupid as a bag of fucking hammers.

  6. That’s the same face she made when I put it in her pooper.

  7. Deacon Jones

    This is the same face I made when the Eagles lost to the Cardinals

  8. carrot in your snatch

    She’s so not hot anymore. At least she’s not fat, but that haircut and her clothing lately; FUCKING AWFUL. She’s just lost that spark she ‘s so meh to me now it’s not even funny. Damn you Cash you wrecked her, also her baby looks like a boy, it’s a girl right? I can’t keep up with these bastard children of Hollywood anymore.

    Note: If you walk down the isle pregnant the kid is a bastard, don’t try to sneak that shit by. Marriages where there is no time to be alone and just married for a few years are almost always disaters, they may not always end in divorce, but they become sexless, joyless prisons. There is a reason it goes first comes marriage then comes baby blah blah… fucktards, why can’t rich ass celebrities buy some fucking condoms and do things right for fucks sake or does every Hollywood woman want to trap her man since marriage is basically a joke in that industry?

    The main point is she looks crappy lately.

  9. carrot in your snatch

    P.S. Ideally no kids at all makes the happiest marriage.

  10. hate her, she is a bitchh and she is uglyy

  11. Andy

    Simple rule: if she’s not pictured on all fours wearing a bikini, it’s not a story.

  12. That first picture makes her look like she’s trying out for The Grudge 3 LOL!

  13. havoc

    It looks like someone is massaging the little man in the boat…..


  14. Delgo


  15. Delgo


  16. kels

    why are all massage and nair salons owned by the asians? seriously.

  17. kels

    why are all massage and nair salons owned by the asians? seriously.

  18. kels

    why are all massage and nair salons owned by the asians? seriously.

  19. Beth

    “why are all massage and nair salons owned by the asians? seriously.”

    What do you think is in those noodle dishes?

  20. Mike

    Anal fisting gets that look every time, eh Obama?

  21. dew

    Superficial gets worse and worse:

    1. Numerous double and triple posts — not that many people make mistakes; it’s your wack coding.

    2. RSS/Newsfeed shortened version SUCKS! And it was many months before the photos in the newsfeed were fixed.

    And I read complaints regularly about having entirely too many ads, which of course I don’t see cuz Firefox and a few addons rock. But guess what? I don’t block all sites’ ads, only annoying sites’ ads

    How many other readers block Superficial’s ads? Would you still block them if there weren’t so friggin many? Superficial isn’t the only game in town; there’s plenty of other celeb sites, and many are snarky too.

    The snarky celeb sites with proper newsfeeds, less duplicate comments, more beefcake, and a reasonable amount of ads will get my view$

  22. Ummm...yeah...

    Fish is an asshole…not the whole ass…just the hole.

  23. herbiefrog

    we have a hosts file

    …not even sure what that means >?

  24. SMogfish

    Her expression in the main pic looks like my brothers face when he has a seizure

  25. No Fat Chicks

    I don’t see the attraction. 65% of Americans look like Alba. She needs to lay off the tacos. My dick is sad. Just sayin’.

  26. orly

    lol 65%? where the fuck are you at cos i’m comin!

  27. sushi

    I used to think she was hot and then started to realize that she’s just average. She’s going to end up a huge fuckpig.

  28. Curious why america is in a miserable situation today?
    …………….LOOK HERE, folks!!

  29. shanex

    I bet she asked for a Swiss massage. She’s easily one of the most vapid actresses around.

  30. Steve

    Aside from maybe Eva Longoria, nobody gets more mileage from makeup than Jessie. She is a Plain Jane naturally. Her body is good but nothing special. I wouldn’t kick her out, but she isn’t nearly as hot as she is made out to be.

  31. No Surprise Here

    what a dumpy blarggh. photoshop is her best friend.. see how she looks on a normal day? like sh-. keep that in mind guys when you criticize your wife or gf, very few actresses look any better on a normal day than some whoever on the bus.

  32. hmmm

    wow you can just see that chin implant sticking out.. good job guys. and why is she sitting in front of a window with paparazzi outside making chimpanzee faces.. is she that desperate for attention?

  33. mmd

    she isnt ugly but she isnt that great either
    shes just another attractive lady
    i have seen way more beautiful woman lol

    anyway, yeah every mom needs a massage once they have babies

  34. Cash

    That’s the face she made when I shoved my dick into her ass while she was pregnant

  35. Vejji

    L M A O @ 13. havoc

  36. Pathetic Worm


  37. michy

    Seriously she has never been all that…

  38. cavy

    She’s still much better looking than the average person, but it seems like having a kid drained all the “beauty & sexy” right out of her. She looks rather dull these days. Don’t get me wrong, I think she’s pretty, but not movie star pretty.

  39. Alec Baldwin

    I’d smell those fingers afterwards.

  40. Not Jessica Alba

    Anyone else notice her ears are SIDEWAYS???

  41. dickspitz

    Jessica needs a guy to put some lust in her life. A guy who oils up and massages her glorious buttocks then sodomizes the anus to make certain the sphincter is properly massaged!

  42. she’s the best, no matter what she do, I just love her!

  43. Great photo!!!!!! thanks for the the demonstration i cant wait to try this!! and she must be pretty much relaxed now…..

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  45. Thanks for your good topic. Good done.

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