Jessica Alba defends her intelligence

January 27th, 2009 // 188 Comments

Jessica Alba took to her MySpace blog today to defend telling a TMZ reporter to “Be Sweden … Be neutral” about her feud with Bill O’Reilly. (She called him an “asshole.”) TMZ and Big Bill decided to rip on Jessica for not saying Switzerland until she pulled a little Wikipedia action on their asses:

Hey Guys,
Jay_eh here. I wanted to share with everyone in the ibeatyou and MySpace communities my experiences at the inauguration last week, so I put together a little video.
Before I get to the video, I want to clear some things up that have been bothering me lately. I find it depressing that in the midst of perhaps the most salient time in our country’s history, individuals are taking it upon themselves to encourage negativity and stupidity. Last week, Mr. Bill O’Reilly and some really classy sites (i.e.TMZ) insinuated I was dumb by claiming Sweden was a neutral country. I appreciate the fact that he is a news anchor and that gossip sites are inundated with intelligent reporting, but seriously people…it’s so sad to me that you think the only neutral country during WWII was Switzerland. Check out: if you want to see what I was referring to. I appreciate the name calling and the accurate reporting. Keep it up!!
Now on to more important things…like our new President.

TMZ has since apologized, and for the record, I’d like to point I never called Jessica Alba dumb. Everyone here knows I’m a bastion of journalistic research when I’m not making shit up. However, I will call Jessica Alba dumb now for referring to herself as “Jay_eh.” 4 Realz? That’s hella lame. Hella lame.


  1. LPB

    You’re ALL wrong. The saying is “neutral like Swaziland”. They’ve always been neutral; I read that on Wiki.

    And, for the record, I drive a Swiss car, a Volvo.

  2. SIN

    Nice statement. I wonder who wrote it for her. I have watched a few of her interviews and when they ask her something not on the cards, she freezes up because she has to think. She is beautiful and a good actress, but she IS rather stupid.

  3. JWM

    1. Let’s be fair everyone, Keith Olbermann is even more of a useless douche nozzle than Limbaugh. Congrats on landing on your feet after ESPN figured out you were an asshole, Keith, but you’re still a shitburger in bad glasses.

    2. Seriously, you dumb pretty face, just go with something you know for sure — say “Be useless — like every movie I’ve been in, besides Sin City.”

    3. Using words like “salient” doesn’t mean you’re smart, it means you figured out the Shift+F7 combo in Word.

    4. Why does anyone care what Jessica Alba thinks anyway? She won the looks lottery, makes more money than she needs and has no other redeeming qualities.

    5. Wow, she went to the inauguration! That makes her special!

  4. Dëlgo

    I hear celebrity babies come straight out the womb with those mohawks now.

    “They’re Just Like Us.” InTouch Magazine

  5. 1moreidiotintheworld

    How can such an ugly kid come from such a beautiful woman????

  6. #98 has a confession to make

    to #98 : dear justifiable, you kitchen sponge just told me that you fart in your sleep. It also told me that it spends most of its day reciting analogies no one uses in everyday conversation, and that if it refuses you drown it in the toilet.

  7. #98 has a confession to make

    to #98: (I hope you won’t write some shit like “didn’t-know-you-talk-to-sponges-” or comment on the maturity of my post. You’re better than that. I expect at least three long paragraphs filled with all kinds of ten syllable words, lengthy quotations and references to three hundred million word kinetic encyclopedia of seasonal tagalog. please don’t disappoint)

  8. Sick_Sad_World

    This is very sad. Even I knew Sweden was neutral. (And, I’m like an idiot!) Wow. Just wow. People need to read more often. (Real books, not wiki.)



  10. cici

    jessica alba, you’re a talentless whore with a negative IQ and nobody wants you to open your mouth unless you’re putting a cock in it. now go raise your ugly accident kid in quiet, go stick a giant black dildo in the gaping hole between your legs and pretend it’s obama’s, and shut the fuck up

  11. B

    Justifiable is a stupid cunt.

  12. WTF Report

    #106/107 Jesus, are you a retard or just Bill O’Reilly?

  13. Wow....

    I’m sorry but after reading the majority of these comments, I am actually embarrassed to think that a lot of these people got an American education. I’m an actual teacher and I can’t believe the amount of ignorance, stupidity, and lack of intelligent argument. We have to revert to calling ourselves “asshats” and “retards”? It’s true, America is behind in education….and I think it’s pretty obvious based on what is on here. (PS: and 18 year old could still be considered a high schooler if they are in high school, and yes, there are 24 year olds in college……dumbest argument ever).



    110. MY HERO!

  15. Rachel

    did anyone notice the south park reference?

    “hella Lame”

    “cartman quit putting hella in front of everything”


  16. Hmm

    No No No, what’s idiotic is her trying to get the reporter to say something positive about Obama all while telling him to be “neutral”.

  17. think

    “Intelligence runs after her,but she is faster”

  18. swiss

    @95- lmfao!!

  19. eurotrash

    true story;
    last time i was in the states some people (coincidentally college students in the 18 to 24 age range) asked me if holland was in the middle east (!). Now i can sort of understand that not everyone would be able to locate holland on the map since it’s a relatively small country, so i tried to explain the location in relation to larger and more well known countries such as England, France, and Germany. As it turns out they had no idea where any of those countries were either, and after I drew a map of western europe for them they even asked me why its called western europe if it’s to the east from the states.

  20. frankkmiller

    I know a lot of people on here have knee-jerk reactions to FOX (they SUCKKKKK !! etc etc) but O’Reilly is ivy educated and no fool and Alba is making some of his arguments about idiot Hollywood celebs for him.

  21. chango

    @66 . . .

    Thanks authorego. I knew some faggot like you would come to the rescue with an explaination . . .

  22. Dave C

    She’s a dump pump who should switch to porn.

  23. allyouthink


  24. JC

    Technically, Sweden was NONBELLIGERENT, not “neutral”.

  25. JC

    Technically, Sweden was NONBELLIGERENT, not “neutral”.

  26. jrsimon

    I think Jessica Alba’s missing the point. It’s a common practice to reference Switzerland, not Sweden, when discussing remaining neutral in a situation. This is likely because neutral Switzerland borders Germany, France, and Italy and was right in the middle of the war while Sweden is way the hell up in the icy Baltic Sea and faced little chance of invasion. Sweden’s neutrality during WWII is irrelevant; it doesn’t make “Be Sweden” any less ditzy of a comment.

  27. jrsimon

    Everyone knows to be “like Sweden” means to make inexpensive yet surprisingly stylish furniture with incomprehensible assembly instructions.

  28. Babalu

    She missed the entire point of the criticism. The point isn’t that Sweden was or was not neutral. The point is she mangled a common colloquialism.

    “neutral like Switzerland” is a commonly used analogy.

    Noboday says “neutral like Sweden.”

    The point being made about her is that she screwed up a common saying.

    And she wasn’t even smart enought to get the point.

  29. ileanita

    i love u superficial writer. more than life.

  30. blah

    #82: “Jessica Alba is stupid, not for juxtaposing Sweden and Switzerland, but rather because she mentioned Sweden because she is a misguided socialist idiot. In Sweden she would be arrested for trying to sell pictures of her daughter.”


    Quite a few Swedish celebrities sell baby pictures to the Swedish tabloids. If you think we’re some Soviet Union light over here, then you’re dead wrong and completely clueless. But then again, that’s what I’ve said all along that you Americunts are. Like I said, keep making me laugh.

    Also, socialism will be the savior of the American people. You’ll see. (and socialism isn’t equal to communism, you gits)

  31. lmao

    They need to stop attacking her intelligence (though she only has a 12th grade education but wants people to think she’s a harvard grad or something) and start attacking her horrible acting skills. How did she even get into acting? She can’t act ! She is horrible. She makes millions for being bad at her job ! If it was not for that pretty face of hers i don’t think she would have gotten anywhere in hollywood. She wants everyone to believe she’s such a scholar, please…in that case stop doing the half naked photo shoots and go enroll in college. Her husband must want to pull his hair out everytime they get into an argument…she probably never let’s anything go. And by the way, Jessica, how “respectful” do you think myspace is lmao? That’s a lame site too sweety.

  32. Bawb

    At least a lot of people saw through her transparent excuse. Yes, she got the EXPRESSION wrong and just refuses to admit it. Does she truly think we’d believe that she purposely referenced Sweden and not Switzerland, which is what the EXPRESSION has been since WWII? And she was so convincing as a scientist in the Fantastic Four films….

  33. Yet An Even Higher Level of Idiocy


    Sadly, she is too dumb to even realize that a lot people can see through her transparent excuse.

    We all knew she was dumb. Now we knew she’s also a liar. I wonder what’s next.

  34. Jessicas Basatard Honor

    Jessica is an idiot no matter how you put it. She is a horrible actress and she refuses to admit she’s Hispanic, even though she looks more wetback than most people. Stop trying to play white people in movies. Better yet, just stop acting your mediocre acting skills are not just killing audiences everywhere they are killing the money that these movies could make if you were not in them.Oh and we haven’t forgotten that you got a guy to marry because you were pregnant, way to get em jessica.

  35. eastern trash

    # 112 (wtf report / justifiable) isn’t ‘retard’ and ‘bill o’reilly’ the same thing?


    This bitch is so off the chain, why is she even relevant anyway? She can’t act..hates the very people who made her famous and denies her own heritage.. stop posting about her STUPID ASS. Yes she is STUPID…please tell her I SAID SO

  37. Sweden isn’t neutral NOW, so how was I supposed to know she was talking about WWII? If you say you’re thirsty, I’ll get you a glass of water now… not 70 years ago! Jess, get a clue and don’t be such an popinjay, the phrase is always used for Switzerland, as they are always neutral.

  38. blah

    #137: Sweden IS neutral now. We are not at war with anybody. The forces we have deployed around the world are there on UN peace keeping missions.

    Dumbass. Don’t write idiotic bullshit if you don’t have any clue what you’re talking about.

  39. Me

    @130: Socialism is already saving America — one surveillance camera at a time. Socialism is not communism, but communism is socialism (Fabian socialism, to be exact). Fascism is socialism as well. Of course, you’d deny it. After all, Hitler was supposed to be such a terrible person, for no reason except that the Zionists said so, and the Zionists know better than anybody else. Right ? Oh yeah, and in Sweden they tattle-tell when someone doesn’t pay the “TV tax.” The American analog to TV tax is probably the 80% or so of households who now subscribe to satellite or cable.

    @134: She denies being any race, because she says that no race has made her feel welcome. At one point she was taking Spanish lessons. She and Cash were together for several years before they got pregnant. When they first met she said that he may be “the one.”

  40. justifiable

    #135 LOL! That wasn’t me, but I wish I’d written it! Yeah, they are interchangeable – sort of like Sweden and Switzerland when it comes to defining neutrality (apparently we can only have one example to define anything).. I love all the redefinitions of neutrality that are surfacing in order for all the braindead out there to prove her wrong, this must be the hardest they’ve worked at anything in their lives. The Swedes must be laughing their neutral since 1812 asses off (btw, that’s 3 years more neutrality than Switzerland, who started in 1815), and I expect Bill Clinton to pop up to redefine “is” any minute now.

  41. eastern trash

    #140: this is getting boring … you’re just keep reapeating yourself over and over… I’m sure Alba INTENDED to say ‘sweden’ … you convinced me
    P.S. too bad you didn’t write #112, because it was sooo very clever

  42. blah

    #139: Go back to school. Fascism is the extreme of capitalism while isms such as maoism and stalinism – so far – are the extremes of socialism. Fascism and communism are polar opposites. Idiot. Fascism is the extreme point of where corporate interests control the state, which is where the US has been heading. You ignorant fool.

    Oh, and your little remark about the TV tax here in Sweden is really fun. None of the people I know have “tattle-told” on their friends or neighbors. Why are you spouting bullshit that you don’t know anything about? I live here in Sweden, which only makes it so much more fun to see you post ignorant bullshit about my country.

  43. Em

    @119 Holland is not a country (neither is Amsterdam). Someone who’s such an expert on Europe should know that

    Also, in Sweden incest is a time-honored tradition. Freudian slip ?

  44. justify that

    how did u come up with that number???? are u sure 1815-1812=3????
    signed: all the braindead out here

  45. Me

    @142 Corporations control the state, hence the state controls the means of production. qed

    The extreme of capitalism is *gasp* capitalism ! No state is purely “laissez-faire” capitalist, because of government intervention. The socialists would have you believe otherwise, which would be sorta like believing a lie. That fascism and communism are diametrically opposed is another socialist lie. Instead of telling me to go back to school, take a minute to ask yourself whether diametric opposites must be clearly defined in politics — uh, I mean — government.

  46. justifiable

    #143 Who moved the rock? Holland isn’t a country? Wow, the Netherlands will be so very interested to know that! You’re about as well informed about geography as you are on Swedish customs and what constitutes a Freudian slip.

  47. justifiable

    #143 Who moved the rock? Holland isn’t a country? Wow, the Netherlands will be so very interested to know that! You’re about as well informed about geography as you are on Swedish customs and what constitutes a Freudian slip.

  48. justifiable

    #146/7 Hey, if you’re going to post as me, at least get it right geography-wise and back off the post key. The rest about the Swedes and Freud can stay.

  49. justifiable

    #144 Who moved the rock? You obviously can’t add and keep up with much, can you?

  50. justifiable

    #144 Who moved the rock? You obviously can’t add and keep up with much, can you?

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