Jessica Alba defends her intelligence

January 27th, 2009 // 188 Comments

Jessica Alba took to her MySpace blog today to defend telling a TMZ reporter to “Be Sweden … Be neutral” about her feud with Bill O’Reilly. (She called him an “asshole.”) TMZ and Big Bill decided to rip on Jessica for not saying Switzerland until she pulled a little Wikipedia action on their asses:

Hey Guys,
Jay_eh here. I wanted to share with everyone in the ibeatyou and MySpace communities my experiences at the inauguration last week, so I put together a little video.
Before I get to the video, I want to clear some things up that have been bothering me lately. I find it depressing that in the midst of perhaps the most salient time in our country’s history, individuals are taking it upon themselves to encourage negativity and stupidity. Last week, Mr. Bill O’Reilly and some really classy sites (i.e.TMZ) insinuated I was dumb by claiming Sweden was a neutral country. I appreciate the fact that he is a news anchor and that gossip sites are inundated with intelligent reporting, but seriously people…it’s so sad to me that you think the only neutral country during WWII was Switzerland. Check out: if you want to see what I was referring to. I appreciate the name calling and the accurate reporting. Keep it up!!
Now on to more important things…like our new President.

TMZ has since apologized, and for the record, I’d like to point I never called Jessica Alba dumb. Everyone here knows I’m a bastion of journalistic research when I’m not making shit up. However, I will call Jessica Alba dumb now for referring to herself as “Jay_eh.” 4 Realz? That’s hella lame. Hella lame.


  1. malffy hernandes

    Sweden was most definitely a neutral WW1 AND WW2 country. TMZ really needs to do more research if they have to let Alba school them. But really, wikipedia…what’s that now like the average dumb person’s version of the History Channel or common sense. *sigh

  2. Sarah Palin

    #49 – The statistics were derived from a random sample of high school and college students spanning the ages of 18-24 (so, not including younger high school students who somehow might not be expected to know geography). Sorry for the imprecision that completely threw you off. (I’m an exemplar of the intellectual level of current U.S. leaders and Trig is an example of the leaders of the future. I know because Fox News said it.)

  3. Jay_eh is a fucking retard. Always has been, always will be. If she wasn’t pretty she’d be working at a damn Wal-Mart. She can’t act.

    She has made plenty of other retarded statements in her brief career.

  4. Kerri

    If you want to get technical, she’s still kind of wrong- though Sweden has an official policy of neutrality since like 1812, as far as I am aware Switzerland is the only country to be recognized by an international body (Congress of Vienna, 1815) to be neutral- hence the ‘pop knowledge’ of the country as neutral. Both countries were officially neutral in WWII and did not contribute militarily, both countries unofficially violated that neutrality through financial contributions.

  5. Ye Proud Americans...more like, Americants

    The 2006 National Geographic survey wasn’t even as bad as the 1988 one. Before you start trying to drown it out by changing “USA! USA! USA!” see if you can spot the on-topic part of the quote (from 1988):

    “Young Americans 18 to 24 years old scored lower than their counterparts in a nine-country survey of geographic literacy, the National Geographic Society said today.

    American adults ranked 6th in the study, ”Geography: An International Gallup Survey,” conducted for the society by the Gallup Organization. The survey sought to determine how many people could find 13 selected countries, Central America and two bodies of water, the Pacific Ocean and the Persian Gulf, on an unmarked world map.

    ”Have you heard of the lost generation?” Gilbert M. Grosvenor, president of the National Geographic Society,” asked at a National Press Club luncheon. ”We have found them. They are lost. They haven’t the faintest idea where they are.”

    The survey, commissioned by the geographic society, tested 10,820 adults in Canada, France, Italy, Japan, Mexico, Sweden, the United Kingdom, the United States and West Germany How Countries Scored Of a possible score of 16 points, American adults averaged 8.6, about on a par with British adults, who scored an average of 8.5 points, the findings showed. Canadian adults scored 9.2. Americans in the 18-to-24-year group averaged 6.9 points, the lowest score of all youths tested and of all other age groups in the United States.

    Swedes tested the best, scoring 11.6 points, and Germans averaged second best, scoring 11.2 points. Only adults in Italy and Mexico scored lower than those in the United States.”

  6. Vince Lombardi

    Of course Sweden and Switzerland have been neutral for nearly two centuries. After the bronze age, both countries learned it was nearly impossible to stop another army with snowballs, chocolate, or herring.

  7. p0nk

    @52 i read the findings you are quoting. while the sample includes college students, it is not limited to high school and college students, the percentages you quote are for all 18-24 yr olds. Maybe you should spend more time with reading comprehension.

    USA has it’s share of problems. Our education system is not perfect. But here are a couple things to consider –
    National Geographic is a business with an intent of making money. It is in it’s own best interest to portray American youth as uneducated. USA doesn’t force it’s youth to learn facts, those that choose to remain ignorant are allowed to.
    There is probably a good reason why the brightest students from all over the world come to the USA to finish their education.
    There is probably a good reason why the USA is the world’s leading exporter.
    All of you asshats who choose to listen to the naysayers about the US need to take the blinders off.

  8. wolf5150

    Jessica Alba is a moron to engage in this type of conversation,she is in over her head. She is trying to use a word like “salient” to describe this time in history? Jessica, if you had half a fucking brain you could have figured out how
    a condom works,instead of falling into the lower strata of society by getting pregnant by accident ,and then compounding that mistake by marrying the
    halfwit who shot his goo inside you . To summarize, you should
    have let Cash come in your mouth instead of your vag, maybe that would shut you up. You’re not any smarter than Britney Spears. She doesn’t know how to
    use a condom, either.

  9. compromisor

    guys guys, lets not fight. let’s compromise. you eurotrash will accept that you’re a bunch of fucking cowards and the only reason you’re doing relatively good is because your defence is subsidized by US. you rednecks, on the other hand, will accept that US public education is worse than most 3rd world countries’ and that in general americans are fat, lazy, and stupid, and have aboslutely no idea where tibet is on the map.

  10. Cball11

    Thank you #17, for putting it bluntly so the ‘tards can follow along with all the rest of the big boys. also

  11. Jeff

    You just know the twit said Sweden by mistake, and then when everyone made fun of her she ran to Wikipedia to see why. It’s dumb luck that she happened to pick another neutral country. Whenever someone is sitting on the fence or being indecisive, they get called Switzerland not Sweden. Just like when someone is being a pussy, they get called France. If she hadn’t fucked up and had knowingly said something intelligent, she wouldn’t feel the need to prove herself and could just laugh at the idiots in the media.

  12. justifiable

    #6 No, you apologist for Bill O’Reilly, she meant to say “Sweden” in the first place, and your scenario of her praying to God to save her ass here by mulling though the Wiki makes no sense- she obviously cited the link because they’re so conceited they wouldn’t bother to look it up themselves – they sure didn’t take her at her word, so yeah, she proved it. Given the number of posters here who still can’t accept anything other than the one fact they learned about Switzerland in World Cultures class, I can’t blame her. The sort of wild stab at history you’re envisioning only works if it’s a multiple choice question – she knows more than TMZ, Bill – and you – so suck it up.

    #15 Guess what? You’re wrong – that’s just what Sweden, Switzerland, The Vatican, Portugal and Turkey, all neutral, did during the war. That’s the techical defintion of neutrality – you’re hostile to no side, you trade with all, but you don’t get actively involved. It’s in everyone’s best interests to leave you whole and functioning as a broker for all sides. Sweden has a long history of avoiding European conflicts since Bernadotte and the Napoleonic wars (that’s 1812) – and in Switzerland’s case, their neutrality is really geographically and financially ensured – the Alps are a natural barrier in helping to protect everyone’s banking assets.

    #22 Nobody keeps insisting that common usage is the only usage possible unless you’re a brainless git and can’t take on learning one new thing.

  13. jeff's alter ego

    @ #61, or like when someone is stupid they call him american

  14. justifiable

    #61 What I said about #6 goes double for you, too, Jeff. “Dumb luck”? Moron. Thank you for playing.

  15. Cball11

    Holy shit, #62, very well-said.

  16. authorego

    @39 Nobody told me about the Gay Scale. Is it on a 1 – 10 measurement? When you asked how fucking Gay he was, were you asking if he was top or bottom? Is the bottom the most Gay?

    I’ve kind of been using the FLACC scale: if a guy only grimaces slightly when seeing Bobby Trendy, he is probably pretty gay. If he moans when seeing Bobby Trendy, he has slept with him. If his BP rises sharply, he is a homophobe.

    Again, I was not aware that there was an official scale so that one could ask “how gay are you?” and actually get a measureable answer.

  17. HITLER

    Faux-hawks are gay.
    Jessica’s baby has a Faux-Hawk
    Jessica’s baby is gay.


  18. Ummm...yeah...




  20. Mr. Neutral

    Look, let me settle this peacefully: AMERICANS are the neutral ones.

    I mean, in terms of acquiring knowledge: they’re not necessary against it, but clearly they don’t support it either.

  21. herbiefrog

    this thread is a disgrace to the normally

    wild, arrogant and obtuse threads at the fish…

    perhaps #69 really has it down… : )

    lol suckers : )

    j-eh was just peaking the truth…
    …and yet
    …and yet

    …some of you cant stand being shown to be wrong
    …[that they do it all again... lol babe : )]


  22. huh?

    #69 – really, you’re going to brag about the American economy…now??? And in any case the U.S. economy is driven by multinational companies.

  23. At least she can spell and use punctuation, unlike a certain Lindsay Lohan.

    And Bill O’Reilly is an asshole.

  24. swedish berries * *

    Nicely done #62. Can you somehow get interviewed by Bill O’Reilly and make him cry with your kick ass knowledge of stuff. That would be awesome, please start working on that now. Thanks and cheers!

    Swedes rock for many reasons. It should be duly noted that we have an incredible level hotness per capita. Mix a Swede with another nationality and it’s hotness infinity. My wife is a Greek goddess/Swedish siren and man am I a lucky guy!

    People really love to assume that pretty girls or attractive men aren’t intelligent, because why should anyone be so lucky? Sadly for the dumb fatties of the world, like O’Reilly, there are a lot of very hot and very intelligent people whose entire existence proves that lardy dumbasses like O’Reilly really are a waste of skin.

  25. blah

    And the hits just keep on coming. Keep up the comedy gold, Americans!

  26. justifiable

    #69 Hey, Kanye, don’t you mean, “WHY WON’T YOU LET ME BE GREAT”? Makes about as much sense.

  27. european trash

    ‘neutral like Switzerland’ is a fucking saying. You don’t need to know history to know that saying. it’s like ‘healthy as a horse’ ‘crazy like a fox’ or ‘smart as a whip’….. JA makes up her own common phrases…. ‘neutral like sweden’ ….. hahahahaha!!! … she is dumb as a fucking rock…

  28. el ces

    Pretty smile.

  29. j

    Jes-Duh, read the reset of the wikipedia page Switzerland was not exactly neutral. Typical hollywood elites communist mentality!!! Stick to what you are good at acting and not world politics!

  30. american lardass

    @ #69, that’s the whole point, you dumbshit. americans are so fucking stupid that everyone’s making random, useless shit and then sells it to stupid fucks like you. wonder why you’re so fucking fat? it’s because your lardass just gobbled 10 cheeseburgers and made mcdonalds rich. innovation talent comes from overseas. you don’t innovate shit. you just buy it and then pass it as your own. when you do actually invent something, you make it so shitty that japan steals the idea and makes it 10 times better.



  32. Me

    @47: Would your professor accept it if it came right from the moose’s mouth ? (ie: SpaceMoose)

    Bill O’Reilly is a fart in a mitten, along with Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh. Neither of them couldn’t say anything sincere if their life depended on it. The so-called “conservatives” on YouTube taking Bill O’Reilly’s side are total hypocrites. They have managed to say absolutely nothing original in their own right.

    Jessica Alba is stupid, not for juxtaposing Sweden and Switzerland, but rather because she mentioned Sweden because she is a misguided socialist idiot. In Sweden she would be arrested for trying to sell pictures of her daughter.

  33. love it or fucking leave it

    #80 you’re so right. just yesterday I bought a bunch of random useless shit from everyone.
    and btw japan is our bitch. next time get facts straight before making your dumbass comments

  34. Binky

    Good for J -eh !!!!
    There’s nothing lamer than TMZ and their ‘crack’ team of drivel reporters Jerky, Perky, and Lurky. Let alone that ‘Joe Rogan’ guy in the board
    (Some people say the tables are starting to turn….)

  35. Truth Doctor

    If it came down to Alba vs O’Reilly, I’d have to choose Bill. Not that I particularly like him, but Jessica is a dipshit. Good looking as hell, but needs her mouth stapled shut.

    Hell, let’s do that to all Jessicas. Alba through Simpson (can staples penetrate a duck-bill?)

  36. justifiable

    #77 “Dumb as a sack of hammers” is also a fucking saying – guess which one we can apply to you? Oh, wait, my bad, we can only have one common saying, right?
    No, you sure don’t need to know history -that’s especially true if you want to make an ass out of yourself on a daily basis. And you, TMZ and O’Reilly are doing a fine job, keep up that good work – I love to see evidence of my tax dollars being flushed down the crapper displayed by idiots like you. The fact that people are freaking that any country outside of Switzerland is associated with neutrality is fucking sad. TMZ and O’Reilly are lame enough attempting their sad CYA moves – the fact that they’d actually try to defend their ignorance once it’s pointed out just compounds their stupidity – there is no save here, guys, you’re woefully ignorant, accept it.

  37. She could have just gone to wikipedia and changed the information herself!

  38. macattack

    @87 And then gone back in time and changed that too! Wow your parents must be proud!

  39. azalea

    I can’t believe the ignorance or just plain stupidity of some of the posts here, it’s bad even by Superficial standards. Grasping at straws just for the sake of insulting somebody famous (Jessica, not Billo, he truly deserves every shot he takes, the big dildo); it’s disgusting. I’d list the posts, but there are too many, and I’m too damn pissed right now to bother. You know who you are.

  40. Cartman

    Alba is a stupid cunt. And a pinhead.

  41. Paul

    Just do your “acting” and shut up you silly twat. Wikipedia…My God what has the world come to?

    #89 – if posts in the comments section of a site like this piss you off to that extent you might want to seek psychotherapy. You might be wound up a little too tightly.

  42. shawn3k

    To quote the wonderful movie “Forrest Gump”

    “Stupid is, as stupid does.” Alba is about as sharp as a box of crayons at a mental hospital.

  43. neenerneenerneener

    Really- damned if you do damned if you don’t. Bijou Phillips and Lindsay Lohan show that you can be good-looking and dumb as dirt, and since that’s what everyone expects, it’s fine, dump away. Alba’s good-looking and when she shows she really has a brain (wow, who knew?) and refers to something that Bill “I can’t tell a loofah from a falafel” O’Reilly doesn’t know, she’s a bitch and a cunt and a twat and should just STFU? Wow, stereotype much? How much of it’s down to hostility over all your blighted dreams is anyone’s guess – now that you assholes realize that she’d never ever fuck you because she’s way too smart.

  44. #86 is a self righteous fart

    #86 justifiable: while ‘dumb as a sack of hammers” IS a saying , ‘neutral like sweden’ is NOT. (unless you’re Jessica Alba)
    and “you don’t need to know history” simply means that just because she used that phrase doesn’t mean that she actually knows history.
    so your attempt at rebuttal “No, you sure don’t need to know history -that’s especially true if you want to make an ass out of yourself on a daily basis” makes no fucking sense. dumbass

  45. european trash

    Conversation between two Jessicas:
    - is this tuna or is this chicken?
    - it’s neither… it’s neutral… like sweden

  46. If she was so smart, she wouldn’t use a site like Wikipedia. Any idiot can get on there and post whatever they want. It’s not even an accepted news source for college reports!!

  47. it's either or

    jessica is greedy, she wants to be pretty AND smart. no such thing exists in nature honey. stop fighting it.

  48. justifiable

    #94 Sorry, but “neutral like Switzerland” isn’t a “saying” – except in your tiny mind. It might be in Bill O’Reilly’s, too, who the hell knows what goes on in his. That’s like saying you can only refer to traitors as “Benedict Arnolds” and never as “Quislings”. Oh, bad me, there I go again, going outside of your narrow-minded comfort zone!!
    You can refer to Switzerland when discussing neutrality, therefore ensuring even the most uninformed “get” you, but there’s nothing that says you can’t refer to another country with an equally long history of same. And yeah, because she used the reference accurately uh, it sort of DOES mean she knows that part of its history. My kitchen sponge was able to reason that one out, but since you couldn’t, thank you for demonstrably making an ass of yourself and proving my point.
    Of course, this reference will be confusing to people like you who only know one thing about the subject and get upset when they hear something unfamiliar. That’s what people who have an IQ outside of room temperature range do sometimes, they don’t just use the same old parlance or hackneyed references everyone else does.
    Don’t worry, though, you will never ever have this problem.

  49. ……………………………………….WHERE, folks?

  50. saviana

    #31 – As much as I loved that irrelevant dig about word syllables, I’m pretty sure SWISS is already monosyllabic. Yay for counting! If only my low-grade university that taught me English was one syllable. Unfortunately, it’s two: OX-FORD. International History & Politics. Don’t worry, I can pat my own back, so no need for adulation.

    And no country is ever really neutral, and we’re all aware of the shit that went on with the Swiss banks during the war. Thank you, though, for spreading the light of truth!

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