Jessica Alba defends her intelligence

January 27th, 2009 // 188 Comments

Jessica Alba took to her MySpace blog today to defend telling a TMZ reporter to “Be Sweden … Be neutral” about her feud with Bill O’Reilly. (She called him an “asshole.”) TMZ and Big Bill decided to rip on Jessica for not saying Switzerland until she pulled a little Wikipedia action on their asses:

Hey Guys,
Jay_eh here. I wanted to share with everyone in the ibeatyou and MySpace communities my experiences at the inauguration last week, so I put together a little video.
Before I get to the video, I want to clear some things up that have been bothering me lately. I find it depressing that in the midst of perhaps the most salient time in our country’s history, individuals are taking it upon themselves to encourage negativity and stupidity. Last week, Mr. Bill O’Reilly and some really classy sites (i.e.TMZ) insinuated I was dumb by claiming Sweden was a neutral country. I appreciate the fact that he is a news anchor and that gossip sites are inundated with intelligent reporting, but seriously people…it’s so sad to me that you think the only neutral country during WWII was Switzerland. Check out: if you want to see what I was referring to. I appreciate the name calling and the accurate reporting. Keep it up!!
Now on to more important things…like our new President.

TMZ has since apologized, and for the record, I’d like to point I never called Jessica Alba dumb. Everyone here knows I’m a bastion of journalistic research when I’m not making shit up. However, I will call Jessica Alba dumb now for referring to herself as “Jay_eh.” 4 Realz? That’s hella lame. Hella lame.


  1. Que

    Que unintelligible.

  2. WOW…What a loser… she was more interesting just running around the beach taking sand out of her ass….. *sigh* the good old days

  3. p0nk

    probably the most salient comment she’s ever made.

  4. Mike

    You guys (TMZ) are idiots.

  5. FunnyHunny

    I’m sorry, but her kid looks like an ugly monkey.

  6. Cash

    What a moron. Even O’Reilly admits it when he slips up, but she can’t come clean and say “Yeah I was flustered, and meant to say ‘Switzerland.’ I’m not perfect, you totally caught me. Awesome for you.” Instead she has to mull through wikipedia, praying to god there’s *something* in there to validate her.

    I liked this chick better when I was a teenager and she was walking around in bikini’s on that stupid show with the dolphin, but it’s been all downhill since Dark Angel. And who besides a couple of D-bags gives their infant a faux hawk? I mean really?

  7. Tim

    I would have much more respect for her if she had said only “Watch more Swedish porn.”

  8. testing

    I have always hated Jessica Alba, but have to give her the win in this idiotic debate.

    but can I point out that when talking about WWII isnt being neutral a morally unethical choice! Why tell somebody be like countries who ignored Nazis?

  9. shannon2

    hahahaha…Jessica Alba is smarter than Bill O’Reilly AND the people at TMZ!


    TMZ needs to fire some retards.

  10. Newt

    In effect, Sweden during WWII ignored the greater moral issues and played both sides for profit[1] At no time were they seriously threatened by invasion from the Allies or the third Reich.

    The above quoted from the very Wiki page the genius Jessica Alba referred to…

    Yeah way to go… Passives profiting from the Holocaust.

  11. pete

    That kid looks like the punchline to one of Conan O’Brien’s “What If They Mated?” skits.

  12. jimmy

    yes, always SMART LADY!!!
    guess you gonna check out hot and smarter cougars and chicks on ==== first!!! trust yourself is good!! always good!!!

  13. Beth

    Actually her remark is still highly appropriate – telling the TMZ reporter to stay neutral and profit from the hostilities between the Allied Asscheeks (Alba) and the Axis Nazis (O’Reilly and Faux News).

  14. Carl

    I’m a little confused. So Jessica Alba is being joked for saying Sweden is a neutral country? The confusing part is Sweden IS a neutral country so what was she wrong about?

  15. Nugaloopagus

    I read it. She is an idiot. Because Sweden played both sides of WWII does not make them the “neutral” country. The neutral country was, is and forever will be known as Switzerland.

    Own up to it you dumbass. You obviously don’t get hired for your higher learning skills.

  16. melanie

    Hey Cash – lots of people give their babies “faux mohawks”. It is kinda the only thing you can do when the hair is too thin to put in a barrett. well they could just slick it down, but the faux hawk is cute… all the kids i see have it… so i guess there are lots of “d-bags” out there…

  17. duh

    Sweden has not directly participated in armed warfare for almost 200 years.

  18. Chaz

    If you’re going to write a blog entry defending yourself, at least use the the thesaurus properly. “A salient time in our country” makes no sense. Times aren’t salient. Important, crucial, whatever. Salient sounds like somebody trying too hard to use big words.

  19. StraightCashHomey

    The drooling halfwit called ‘Jessica Alba’ should close her festering gob and not attempt grown-up conversation. She may, however, continue to pose, bikini-clad, on all fours on chaise lounges – delicious ass pointed toward the camera, please. Any sounds other than moans of sexual pleasure emanating from her should be strictly prohibited.

  20. Moses

    Yeah, the Swiss were 100% neutral. Well, except for converting huge amounts of Nazi gold (including gold taken from Holocaust victims) into currency (francs) that the Nazis could use to finance their war efforts. Except for that.


    Epic fail Jessica….once you start referencing wikipedia you lose.

  22. Vince Lombardi

    1. The common euphemism is “neutral like Switzerland.” No one says “Sweden” in a sentence as a euphemism for neutrality, unless you’re a brainless git.

    2. Remember that “Stockholm Syndrome” originated in Sweden.

    3. Neither the Nazis nor the Soviets took an interest in Sweden because, after all, Sweden is full of Swedes. The Allies were convinced by the Norwegians, who are far more intelligent (altho we do eat lutefisk), that Sweden was full of Swedes and therefore of little more use than the French in time of war.

    4. I’m an American of Norwegian descent and I support this message.

  23. the "Actually" guy

    Actually, wikipedia compares pretty well to the “gold standard” of Encyclopedia Britannica (which has its own errors):

  24. Maddie

    Both countries helped the Nazis to save their asses!
    Switzerland is still helping them!
    Neutrality was and is simply a myth!

    Jessica was hot, now not so much so who really cares?
    Theres a monkey in the Black house and Amerikkka is a worldwide joke!

  25. A Giant Pistol

    O’Reilly should put a gun in his mouth and pull the trigger

  26. saviana

    #20 We’re talking about SWE-DEN. SWEEEEDENNNN. But good attempt to spew your textbook knowledge about the Holocaust.

  27. facts

    Sweden has maintained an official policy of neutrality for EXACTLY as long as Switzerland. Sweden has always been much more active in non-combat support missions, including those conducted by the U.N. The Swiss sit on their asses and count their money from their “see no evil/hear no evil/speak no evil” banking transactions with the world’s scoundrels.

  28. blah

    As a Swede it’s incredibly entertaining to read most of the idiotic and ignorant comments that are being posted. Go on, keep entertaining me by making your ignorance even more apparent.

    Everyone with the slightest bit of education knows about Sweden’s and Switzerland’s outspoken neutrality throughout the wars of the last 100 years or so.

    Everyone also knows that the general education level in the US is laughable at best. The average American (this has been statistically proven several times over) can’t locate America on a world map. Go you!

  29. Still dumb as a post

    I’m sorry, but the fact that she thinks everyone thinks Switzerland being neutral during WWII is the SOLE REASON for its famed neutrality just magnifies her stupidity. Switzerland has been neutral in every international conflict since World War I (you know, Jess, PRECEDED World War II). Switzerland has not been at war since 1815. Sweden or any other nation? Not so much. Switzerland’s neutrality is most influenced by its rich banking industry which famously numbers its accounts and allows foreign nationals to use them. Being a banker to so many rich individuals pretty much requires Switzerland to not take sides in wars. Sorry, Jess, you’re definitely but most assuredly dumb as a post.

  30. AlQaeda#1

    She thinks the Obamanation makes the country “salient.” Is that like sucking black cock?

    She has an inkling about Sweden because she has an inkling of Swedish in her.
    Big deal.

    She looks like a cute soccer mom here but so what.

    If Obama had his way he’d take her mulato baby, export it and have it killed with the money he just stole from the US taxpayers Friday. $400 million dollars exported to kill minority babies outside the country.

    Those fuckers at Planned Parenthood are really trying to live up their racist founder Margaret Sanger’s creed. Because killing those black babies here just won’t do.

    Okay now fuck off Jessica.

  31. Moses

    #26 – I was referring to the comment “Because Sweden played both sides of WWII does not make them the “neutral” country. The neutral country was, is and forever will be known as Switzerland.” Sorry. Next time I’ll try to use one-syllable words, just for you.

  32. Still not so dumb as a post

    “Switzerland has not been at war since 1815. Sweden or any other nation? Not so much. ”

    Name one war that Sweden has participated in since 1815.

  33. bah

    The issue is not whether Sweden was a neutral country, it’s which a matter of which country is famous and carries the knock for being neutral as a matter of policy. That country is Switzerland. That Sweden was neutral changes not the point: Switzerland carries the connotation of neutrality… Sweden carries the connotation of being the only country to supposedly implement socialism successfully.

  34. bah

    The issue is not whether Sweden was a neutral country, it’s a matter of which country is famous and carries the knock for being neutral as a matter of policy. That country is Switzerland. That Sweden was neutral changes not the point: Switzerland carries the connotation of neutrality… Sweden carries the connotation of being the only country to supposedly implement socialism successfully.

  35. Dakota

    She clearly meant to say Switzerland. That’s the phrase. But if by neutral she meant letting Nazi soldiers use the nation’s rail system & coal resources so they could mount a savage attack on their neighbour, than yes Sweden would have been the right choice.

  36. Dirk

    right, Obama as president is the most “salient” part of America’s history.
    Forget the abolition of slavery, or the the advancements women made to maintain jobs outside of the house, to vote.
    Forget the day Native Americans sat together with Pilgrims in a tradition we repeat every year in their memory.
    Forget the day when the Jewish, Irish, and Italian immigrants were finally allowed to take any job, live anywhere they wanted, no longer considered considered inferior Americans.
    Forget the day public education became available for all classes, all people, and people of all colors sat together in the same room to learn the same materials.
    Forget the first automobile or the first time a human being took flight, right here on US Soil.
    Forget our success in two World Wars.
    Forget that it was America who first made it to the moon, that it is the American flag that first waved in outer space as American men spoke the first words outside the earth.

    Forget all that Jessica. What matters is that you consider things like Wikipedia valid sources for truth and think that a man, who is of mixed background but calles himself a black man, he who idolizes his deadbeat father and dismisses his white family as “typical” despite being raised by them, having his expensive education paid by them, our country’s most “salient” achievement. Really? Please stick to reading from the script because sadly, when you voice what you really think, it comes out worse than all the rubbish movies you star in.

  37. p0nk

    @28 “The average American (this has been statistically proven several times over) can’t locate America on a world map.”

    If you believe this, you’re an idiot. I know a few Americans and none of them over 10 years old have a problem identifying America on a world map.
    Now a country as irrelevant as Sweden, yes, i can believe there are many who would not be able to identify it.

  38. Harry Doyle

    Another celeb with just a high school education thinking the public gives a shit what they think. Just cause you have money for looking pretty does not mean you know anything about the world……. you picked your path, just sit there, look good and cash in your paychecks

  39. chango

    # 28 . . .
    “The average American (this has been statistically proven several times over) can’t locate America on a world map. Go you!”

    What kind of fuck-tard are you??? Dude, if you’re gonna spew crap like this, at least provide a link to these so called stats . . .
    Oh yeah and one more thing . . . “Go you” ?????

    How fucking GAY are you???

  40. Sven

    25. A Giant Pistol ….Do you believe everyone who voices opinions you dont agree with, should die?

    “O’Reilly should put a gun in his mouth and pull the trigger!”

  41. ~*Adrienne*~

    Jessica is just fucking stupid.

  42. blah

    @37: I take it you have no clue about the US’s education level then… Well, ignorance is bliss, as they say. It’s just nice for me, as someone from a country ranked quite high when it comes to general education level, to know that you Americans are generally ignorant. Not everyone, mind you, but a lot of you. Enough to make most of the world’s population laugh at you and not just your dumbass former president. Happy trails!

  43. Sarah Palin

    Gawd, even my son Trig knows that Americans (even the good one in the pro-American parts of the country) aren’t so hot at geography, dontcha know. Why, even while we were killin’ those bad Eye-rackies, 60% of our high school and college students couldn’t identify that country on a map. You betcha. Even the ones who grew up in intact newkuler families.

  44. Sven

    One thing we can all agree on is that anyone who reads this blog is a fucking mormon!

  45. p0nk

    @42 keep patting yourself on the back, window-licker. you’re the smartest person in your class. Now put your helmet back on and ask the nice teacher to undo the seatbelt so you can go back to your desk.

  46. dude

    Sweden’s porno more than makes up for any sin the country might have committed at any point in history.

  47. bernie lomax

    holy amazingness batman. she quoted Wikipedia as a source. my college professors wouldn’t accept that – because lady, everything you read on the interweb is true!

  48. Alex

    if your hella usage is some kind of clown on the bay area than to that i say you are even more stupid than i originally thought…i once believed that you had a few iotas of sense/ consciousness in your melon but maybe not…just because LA controls the perception of pop culture and you all fret at the very mention of the word, hella, do you know how many fucking lame ass things there are about your shithole city that i could go off on? just because people associate hella with the bay area, which is also associated with being hip, progressive, and generally accepting of alternative cultures/ lifestyles/ ways of thinking, it is looked down on by LA folk who are generally shallow, self-centered and, dare i say, superficial. fuck off dumb ass, and stay off the bay. the bay is the bay bc. dumb shits like you don’t live here!

  49. p0nk

    I hope your geography is better than your reading comprehension.
    60% of 18-24 year olds is NOT the same as 60% of high school and college students.
    and WTF does Sarah Palin or Trig have to do with it? Sounds like he’s brighter than you.

  50. lisa

    I’m Swedish (my mother) AND Swiss (my father) and I know for sure that Sweden (and Switzerland) were BOTH neutral during WW2.

    Of course some people took advantage of the war, but Sweden – as a NATION – was neutral, as well as Switzerland.

    Sweden has not been involved in a war since 1814, in the Campaign against Norway. (Shame on us for that by the way. Love you, dear neighbours!)

    If you want proof and facts about Sweden and WW2, google “EN SVENSK TIGER”, and try to translate the articles you find with Babelfish or something.


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