Jessica Alba continues annoying trend of celebrities telling people to vote

October 2nd, 2008 // 134 Comments

Dear Loyal Readers of Voting Age,

Greetings!
When I’m not posting pics of large-breasted celebrities in bikinis, I’m an avid political junkie who understands this is an important election year. That being said, if people out there vote for the next president solely because Jessica Alba told them to and wore one of those freaky Hannibal Lecter masks, I’m moving to Canada.
Folks, if you have absolutely no clue about current events, no matter what Leo or Diddy or “the boys” from Entourage say; for the love of God, stay the fuck home November 4. You’ll be doing yourself and your country a great service.

My deepest, sincere thanks in advance,

The Superficial Writer


  1. missywissy

    This poster is stupid. I’m suprised at Jessica Alba. Thought she had taste and class. Hanibal Lector??????? I’ll give credit, they look like real tears.

    I agree with everyone on here that people that don’t understand the process or the issues should not vote. I think also Barack Obama would win by a landslide if he were 100% white. Thanks to all the crackers out there who are willing to put the rest of us in WWIII because you are fucking racists. No offense to all of those that truly believe in the policies of McSame/Failin.

  2. Eric

    101

    You are truely an idiot. Please do not procreate so nature can correct it’s error.

  3. @ #101: missywissy, their policies are only talking points, nothing else. Neither one of them gives a rat’s ass about you or your problems. The same people own both of them, and that is who they care about, not you.

    John McCain = Barack Obama

    ***********************************
    Barack Obama

    Goldman Sachs $691,930
    University of California $611,207
    Citigroup Inc $448,599
    JPMorgan Chase & Co $442,919
    Harvard University $435,769
    Google Inc $420,174
    UBS AG $404,750
    National Amusements Inc $389,140
    Microsoft Corp $377,235
    Lehman Brothers $370,524
    Sidley Austin LLP $350,302
    Moveon.org $347,463
    Skadden, Arps et al $340,264
    Time Warner $338,527
    Wilmerhale Llp $335,398
    Morgan Stanley $318,070
    Latham & Watkins $297,400
    Jones Day $289,476
    University of Chicago $278,885
    Stanford University $276,038

    ***********************************
    John McCain

    Merrill Lynch $298,413
    Citigroup Inc $269,251
    Morgan Stanley $233,272
    Goldman Sachs $208,395
    JPMorgan Chase & Co $179,975
    AT&T Inc $174,487
    Blank Rome LLP $150,426
    Credit Suisse Group $150,025
    Greenberg Traurig LLP $146,787
    UBS AG $140,165
    PricewaterhouseCoopers $140,120
    US Government $137,617
    Bank of America $129,475
    Wachovia Corp $122,846
    Lehman Brothers $117,500
    FedEx Corp $113,453
    Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher $104,250
    US Army $103,613
    Bear Stearns $99,300
    Pinnacle West Capital $97,700

    *sigh* Click the link and find out what the election is all about.

    Christ, I get damn tired of this shit . . . : \

  4. Hey #63 you forgot this part:

    Banker’s Manifesto

    Money, Banking & the Federal Reserve Masters of the Universe The Capitalist Conspiracy
    THE BANKERS MANIFESTO OF 1892

    ——————————————————————————–
    Discover the Scandalous Plot Outlined in the Bankers Manifesto.

    ——————————————————————————–

    Congressman Charles A. Lindbergh, Sr. revealed the Bankers Manifesto of 1892 to the U.S. Congress somewhere between 1907 and 1917.

    BANKERS MANIFESTO
    We (the bankers) must proceed with caution and guard every move made, for the lower order of people are already showing signs of restless commotion. Prudence will therefore show a policy of apparently yielding to the popular will until our plans are so far consummated that we can declare our designs without fear of any organized resistance.

    Organizations in the United States should be carefully watched by our trusted men, and we must take immediate steps to control these organizations in our interest or disrupt them.

    At the coming Omaha convention to be held July 4, 1892, our men must attend and direct its movement or else there will be set on foot such antagonism to our designs as may require force to overcome.

    This at the present time would be premature. We are not yet ready for such a crisis. Capital must protect itself in every possible manner through combination (conspiracy) and legislation.

    The courts must be called to our aid, debts must be collected, bonds and mortgages foreclosed as rapidly as possible.

    When, through the process of law, the common people have lost their homes,
    they will be more tractable and easily governed through the influence of the strong arm
    of the government applied to a central power of imperial wealth under the control of the leading financiers.

    People without homes will not quarrel with their leaders. History repeats itself in regular cycles. This truth is well known among our principal men who are engaged in forming an imperialism of the world. While they are doing this, the people must be kept in a state of political antagonism.

    The question of tariff reform must be urged through the organization known as the Democratic Party, and the question of protection with the reciprocity must be forced to view through the Republican Party.

    By thus dividing voters, we can get them to expend their energies in fighting over questions of no importance to us, except as teachers to the common herd. Thus, by discrete actions, we can secure all that has been so generously planned and successfully accomplished.

  5. THE BANKERS' MANIFESTO OF 1934

    “Capital must protect itself in every way, through combination and through legislation. Debts must be collected and loans and mortgages foreclosed as soon as possible. When through a process of law, the common people have lost their homes, they will be more tractable and more easily governed by the strong arm of the law applied by the central power of wealth, under control of leading financiers. People without homes will not quarrel with their leaders. This is well known among our principle men now engaged in forming an IMPERIALISM of capital to govern the world. By dividing the people we can get them to expend their energies in fighting over questions of no importance to us except as teachers of the common herd. Thus by discrete action we can secure for ourselves what has been generally planned and successfully accomplished.”

  6. James

    Okay Jessica, we get it. You want us to vote for Obama.

  7. Freddo

    Another failure…

    as #48 pointed out, this mask doesn’t shut you up, only stops you eating shit.

    Hollywood wankers get lamer and lamer.

  8. ohyeah

    Vote?? Fucking good excuse to show her in some sexually perverted action. Kind of.

  9. connor

    wtf…..that is damn creepy.

  10. Abbey

    Can we talk about her eye brows please?

  11. Lovely

    she should have not published that scary ass pic of her it looks disgusting!

  12. alison

    don’t move to canada – we’re voting on october 14 for our own prime minister. not that anyone would know it since we’re bombarded with american election news day and night. at least our candidates entertain us by struggling to debate in both official languages…

  13. bootlips

    It’s odd to see celebrities acting so self-righteous.

  14. John

    Superficial:

    Canada is good. I made the move in 1977.
    Among the many bonuuses is that the election period, from beginning of campaign to the final tally is less than one month. The current US election already seems longer than Bush’s 8 years.

  15. Effyeray

    @10 GetReal? You don’t know shit. Nothing. You exemplify a huge problem in society today: you’re a little bitch. How you fail to see that a vote cast in ignorance is worse than not voting speaks volumes about how much of a head in the clouds ideologue fairy princess you must be. Oh, and apologize to your folks for being a little bitch ya little bitch.

  16. Kimberly

    Well then Obama will lose 95% of his votes! Anyone who votes for him is either Black or a racially guilty White person. Oh and about anyone under the age of 30 who doesn’t keep up with current events and only votes for him because he has a “kick-ass name” and talks like Denzel.

  17. I am voting for Obama because of his proposed policies.

    1-Increase taxes for the rich elite 3 percent of the population.
    2-Decrease taxes for the other 97 percent of the US population.
    3-Gradually withdraw from Iraq and save US $300 million dollars per day.
    4-Iraq has a huge suplus and Obama proposes they pay for part of the war.
    5-Improved environmental laws.
    6-Stem Cell Research
    7-Pro Choice

    The problem with Republicans is they lie and say the same Republican rhetoric. For instance, McCain has commercials stating that Obama is going to increase taxes, but he left out the part where Obama is going to increase taxes for the elite rich 3 percent of the US population. When McCain debated Obama he never stated specific policies and this is the Republican way of doing politics.

    http://www.factcheck.org

  18. Fred

    Niggar lipped bitch

  19. heather

    I don’t know who they hired to create that poster, but they did a crap job on that mask. Its all fake folks, even the tears. I’ve seen a few pixels in my time.

  20. TaMee

    Celebrities should have absolutely no say in voting whatsoever. Each celebrity that feels that they should speak up to curve undecided, or ignorant young fans, need a HUGE reality check. Before I knew anything about politics, I did one of two things, as an 18 yr old voter, I trusted my parents, so I voted with whom they voted for. When I got a bit older, I realized that until I felt I had educated myself, I didn’t deserve to have the right to vote. We all get it, 18 yr olds can vote, but the 18+ yr olds that don’t have a clue about politics and current events, have absolutely no right, whatsoever, to go to the polls….period!

  21. emmaleigh

    I think the celebrities are doing more harm than good with all this propoganda trying to talk ppl into voting. Its annoying, they are so pretentious. They think we look up to them all so if they say we should vote we’ll be like “Well Leo is avid about it, I better vote!”
    Fuck celebs trying to get political, its pathetic. Annoying and it makes me want to NOT vote, go up to them and tell them “I saw all your adds, but I decided you were way too annoying about it that I didn’t vote just to spite you. Suck on that.” I’m really not voting because I don’t like either candidate. If I do vote, it will be for Ron Paul.

  22. Michelle Obama

    My pussy smells like the monkey-house at the zoo.

  23. Gadeval

    Am I only one to notice that even in a political ad she looks like she isn’t wearing much >.>

  24. Michelle Obama

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  25. seanababy16

    what’s wrong with canada?

    and, americans, educate yourselves about the candidates, their parties, and what they stand for before you decide you to vote for. don’t be lame and shallow and only vote for someone because of their skin colour, or their gendre, or whatever else. Put some serious time and thought into your vote before you cast it. Seriously. This decision could make or break the future of your country. I’m just saying.

    Anyway, have a good day everyone! :)

  26. THIS IS AN ATTENTION-SEEKER HERSELF?

  27. Effyeray

    @117 Kennedy
    Are you actually so naive you think Golden Boy will cut your taxes? You dumb fuck. He is a socialist handout king. How in the hell do you think he can give every lazy ass out there free medical/college/food & cash assistance, give the illegals benefits, take away all guns by cutting your taxes you idiot fuck?

  28. Monet

    This Looks More Like An Advocacy For Anorexia! What A Dumb Bitch!

  29. WTF?

    O.K. let me get this straight. We shouldn’t listen to Jessica Alba when she tells us to vote, but we should listen to a gossip blog writer and a bunch of idiot commentors when they tell us not to vote.

    If your decision to vote is based on either, we are all in big trouble.

  30. “it puts the lotion on its skin and votes” :)

    wth is that gonna motivate, McDonalfied women getting too dayum fat to vote?!
    haha i love the renderings to the effect of stopping the public obesity in this democratic capitalist nation. nice touch, babe.
    Okay, but why the tears??
    i know the electronic votes are hard to deal with when you enter those silly little cubicles, but come’on ALBA, you’re suppose to be all CNN addicited and Newsweek-TIME-magazine-petrified-solid.

    [omg, i had a vision!! ]

    i hope she doesn’t have one of these Hannibal gadgets in infant size!
    or maybe this is Cash’s new invention for the arguement sessions when she “knows-it-all”.

    lmao

  31. Sarah Palin

    Let us pray that our brave troops stay safe while doing Gods work. Amen!

    (applause)

    Furthermore…

    (applause)

    After I’m elected I will, in addition to my VP duties, head the new National Faith Based Electorate Institute to ensure that future candidates are truly Christian men and women seeking to advance Christianity in the form of new initiatives such as Crusades and Inquisitions. After all, only REAL Christians should be armed across the planet. We willl ensure that the entire planet believes in Christianity, ushering in the end times!

    (long applause)

    Vote McCain (Palin)

    Amen!

    (Amen!)

  32. marcus

    has anyone ever seen the southpark episode where stan wasn’t want to vote? all these douchbags just remind me of kyle and i quote:

    “we have to get stan to understand the importance of voting…
    so that he can vote for our guy”

  33. goodluckchucksucked

    Jessica Alba is just another uneducated (did she get a GED) actress who confuses having status and money with actually having brains.

  34. Sarah

    Only you can silence yourself.

    But neither you nor the person that created this ad can Photoshop.

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